Electric Chair Jokes
84 electric chair jokes and hilarious electric chair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about electric chair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Electric Chair Short Jokes
Short electric chair jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The electric chair humour may include short electric shock jokes also.
- How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair? Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.
- How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to turn on an electric chair? Ten. But number four will shock you.
- Court decision: "I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair...... ....what happens next will shock you."
- How many Buzzfeed employees does it take to operate an electric chair? 10, but 4 will shock you.
- You have been charged guilty for clickbait, and will now have to use the electric chair What happens next will shock you
- Criminal on the electric chair. The officer ask: Any last wishes? The criminal: Please hold my hand...
- Judge: "You have been found unanimously guilty of using clickbait, and I sentence you to death by electric chair." What happens next will shock you.
- Why did the police beat the black man after he was executed in the electric chair? He was resisting.
- I have the eyes of an artist, the mind of a scientist, the hands of a pianist, and the heart of a child. Now I'm getting the electric chair after I was caught trying to get the liver of a politician.
- A man steals and crashes a train and is then given the electric chair, but nothing happens. guess he was a bad conductor
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Electric Chair One Liners
Which electric chair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with electric chair? I can suggest the ones about rocking chair and wheelchair.
- Before invention of electricity Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.
- Why did the robot get the electric chair? Because he was charged with battery.
- My girlfriend used to do flashy shows on a chair for me. It was electrical.
- I offered an old lady my seat. Turns out that doesn't work when it's an electric chair.
- What's a smokey hot way to die that turns people on? ;) the electric chair
- The meanest man in the world Is the Warden who put a tack on the electric chair.
- How do you turn a guy into Popeye? Put him on the electric chair.
- What will 6ix9ine's final hit be? The electric chair
- What do you call a guy on the electric chair who refuses to be blindfolded? Popeye.
- What do you call a violin player who's killed by an electric chair? Conducted.
- Is it better to die by an electric chair or by beheading? The answer will shock you!
- What is the hottest way for a person to die that also turns them on? The electric chair
- Why don't we put mexicans on the electric chair?
Giggle-Inducing Electric Chair Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about electric chair you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean guillotine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make electric chair pranks.
Q: If you were forced to go through one of the following doors, which door do you go through with 100 % certainty you'd stay alive: a door with a man with a gun behind it, a door with a tiger who hasn't eaten in 7 years behind it, or a door with an electrical chair behind it?
A: The one with the tiger behind it, because if it hasn't eaten in 7 years it's dead.
Q: If you were forced to go through one of the following doors, which door do you go through with 100 % certainty you'd stay alive: a door with a man with a gun behind it, a door with a tiger who hasn't eaten in 7 years behind it, or a door with an electrical chair behind it?
A: The one with the tiger behind it, because if it hasn't eaten in 7 years it's dead.
A married couple, Harry and Esther, are out shopping one morning when Esther says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She said she would like something electric." Harry replies, "How about a chair?"
Q: If you were forced to go through one of the following doors, which door do you go through with 100 % certainty you'd stay alive: a door with a man with a gun behind it, a door with a tiger who hasn't eaten in 7 years behind it, or a door with an electrical chair behind it?
A: The one with the tiger behind it, because if it hasn't eaten in 7 years it's dead.
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.
They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words.
She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and nothing happens.
They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.
“I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”
Appliances
My wife has made me buy an electric bread maker, electric stove, electric blender, electric toaster and other appliances. Now she's complaining that we have too many appliances and nowhere to sit down. So I bought her an electric chair.
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
Women on death row
Three women, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde are on death row for unspeakable crimes. Instead of the electric chair, they are to be shot by a squad of soldiers. The red haired girl is first, but she has an idea. The commander starts the count down: 3...2..1... The girl yells: "Earthquake!" Everyone is startled and confused and she escapes. Up next is the brunette. She catches on the idea as well. The countdown starts again: 3..2...1... She yells: "tornado!!" Like the girl before her, she also escapes during the confusion. Finally it's the blonde's turn. She too has figured out the trick. Again the countdown starts: 3..2...1..
She yells: "Fire!!"
A Texan and a West Virginian are on death row…
And both are due to be executed the same night. The Texan is due to be executed first, via electric chair.
"Sir, I'd like to remind you that if three attempts go by and you are still alive, you will be free to go. Any last words?"
"I apologize to the victim's family."
The executioner pulls the switch. Nothing happens. He does it again. Nothing. On the final attempt he pulls with all his might…still nothing.
"Well, you're free now, sir." After undoing the straps, the Texan skips away happily. Now it is the West Virginian's turn.
"Sir, I'd like to remind you that if three attempts go by and you are still alive, you will be free to go. Any last words?"
"You all know that the wall socket there is unplugged, right?"
A man was asked to choose between killing an executioner and the man who rented him the noose and electric chair.
He chose the lessor of two evils.
Did you hear about the guy who got sentenced to the electric chair for crashing the train he was working on?
He didn't die, though. Apparently he was a *terrible* conductor.
A bus conductor pushes a guy out of the bus...
... for not having the money to pay for the ride. The guy dies and the passengers angrily take the conductor to court.
The trial finds him guilty. He is sentenced to death by the electric chair.
Soon he is bounded on the electric chair and the power is fed to the chair. But nothing happens and the man does not die.
The next evening, a lady falls out of a moving bus, the conductor of that bus tries to save her but he couldn't get hold of her and she dies. In light of the previous event, the passengers accuse him of pushing the lady out of the bus for not paying and takes him to court. He is found guilty and gets sentenced to death by the electric chair. But this time, he, being a good conductor, dies.
The Execution
A Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander are involved in a grisly crime and are all sentenced to death. The executioner told them that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die.
Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.
The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair.
He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free.
They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.
The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair.
Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free.
Next it was the Newfoundlander's turn to pick how he was to be executed.
He said "I'm afraid of needles, the electric chair won't work so you're going to have to hang me".
Train conductor
A train conductor is making sure he stamped everybody's ticket when a man try's to get on the train without a ticket. Too stop him the conductor swings his suitcase hitting the man on the head killing him. The conductor has to go to the electric chair. When they turn it on it doesn't do anything. They ask him what happened and he simply said "I'm a bad conductor."
m**...-in-law
A husband and wife are shopping when the
wife says, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?
Do you think she would like something electric?"
"Sure," the husband says, "how about a chair?"
Once there was this cruel maestro.....
He was very cruel and bad. Once as he was backing up his car, he rode over a little girl, killing her, but he didn't care. He was caught and sentenced to death by the electric chair. He was seated in the chair, the switch flipped, he was electrocuted, but amazingly he didn't die. So he was let to live.
After some days as he was backing up his car yet again, he hit another girl killing her instantly. But he didn't care. Again he was caught and sent to the electric chair, he didn't die and let to live.
But now the maestro was a changed man, he left his cruel ways and decided to follow the path of good. But to his bad fortune as he was again backing up his car, he accidentally hit a girl. He rushed her to the hospital but the girl died. Again he was sent to the electric chair, but this time, he died.
Do you know why?
Because at first a bad conductor and the electricity didn't kill him, then he became a good conductor.
Three people were sentenced to execution...
Three people were sentenced to execution.
The first guy was told, "Electric chair or guillotine?"
He chooses the electric chair, but it doesn't work.
The second guy was told, "Electric chair or guillotine?"
He chooses the electric chair, and again it doesn't work.
When the third guy came, he was again told "Electric chair or guillotine?"
He picks the guillotine, and everybody screams "ELECTRIC CHAR! ELECTRIC CHAIR!"
He replies "Are you idiots? It doesn't work!"
I'm glad the electric chair was invented
It made executions much more efficient than mechanical chairs.
Why didn't the criminal train operator die when he got the electric chair?
he was a bad conductor.
A priest asks the m**... at the electric chair....
-"Do you have any last requests?
-"Yes,can you please hold my hand?"
A priests asks the convicted m**... at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?
A priests asks the convicted m**... at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?
"Yes," replies the m**.... "Can you please hold my hand?"
Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair?
Because they're bad conductors.
A m**..., sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.
Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. Yes, replied the m**.... Will you hold my hand?
Why couldn't they execute the railway worker with the electric chair?
He was too good a conductor
The following conversation took place while a prisoner was awaiting execution by electric chair.
Priest: Do you have any last requests?
Prisoner: Yes I do, can I hold your hand?
A convicted m**... is sentenced to death by the electric chair.
As is customary, the executioners have a priest brought in.
"Any last requests?" asks the priest.
"Yes," says the m**..., "can you please hold my hand?"
Difference between Christopher Reeves and O.J. Simpson
OJ walked and Christopher Reeves got the electric chair
A Seriously Ill Man is on Death Row
He is led to the electric chair and asked if he has any last words.
"Good news!" He says, "The doctor told me I'm gonna live!"
A priest asks a convicted m**... at the electric chair
A priest asks a convicted m**... at the electric chair, any last requests?
Yes the m**... replies. Will you please hold my hand
A convicted m**... is on death row, and is scheduled to be killed via electric chair. The prison warden asks: 'Do you have any final requests'?
The m**... responds: 'Can you please hold my hand'?
We looked into the cause of death of 50 electric chair victims...
What we found was shocking!
My friend was a violent serial killer...
Ended up getting caught some time back and sentenced to death by electric chair.
Fast-forward to day of execution.
Guard straps him in.
Guard: "Any last requests?"
Friend: "Remind me of buzzfeed clickbait articles 1 last time"
Guard: "The electric current is going to be started now, what happens next will shock you"
I met a man in prison who said he was a conductor...
I found this especially true when I saw him on the electric chair
A m**... is to be executed by electric chair and the priests asks if he has any last request.
The man asks for the priest to hold his hand. Needless to say, the priest was shocked.
Did you hear about the criminal who survived the electric chair?
He really resisted death.
What do you call an electric chair made for 220V when it is operated at 110V?
Slow cooker.
What do you call an asian guy who is talking on an active electric shock giving chair?
current lee speaking
I've been on death row for a while now, and today's the day I found out it'll be via electric chair.
I was shocked.
My father, although a terrible person, had a great appreciation for electric chairs
He passed yesterday, but it was great to see his face light up for the last time.
James French was placed in the electric chair due to be executed; his last words?
'French Fries'
A maestro is convicted of murdering his wife, and sentenced to die in the electric chair.
On the night of the execution, he is strapped into the chair and they pull the switch. Nothing happens.
Thinking it must be a power supply problem, they turn off all the lights in the prison and try again. Still nothing.
They turn out all the lights in the town and try again. Nothing.
So, they let him go because he was such a poor conductor.
A m**... was secured to the electric chair, about to be executed.
The chaplain approached him and asked, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replied the m**.... "Would you hold my hand?"
A priest asks the convicted m**... at the electric chair
A priest asks the convicted m**... at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes, " replies the m**.... "Can you please hold my hand? "
Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow!
A married couple, Harry, and Esther are out shopping one morning when Esther says, **Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?**
She said she would like something electric.
Harry replies, How about a chair?
Why was the dolphin sent to the electric chair?
He was found guilty of crimes against a manatee.
The executioner asks for any last words:
A man is sat in the electric chair, and the executioner asks for any last words.
The man sitting in the chair responds: "I won't be shocked if this dosen't work"
A guy came home to his best friend and wife in bed
He pulled out a .45, shot both of 'em
Next morning, his friend went down to the jail
He said, "Fred, don't take it so hard"
He said, "It could have been worse"
He said, "What you mean, it could have been worse?"
He said, "Man, two people dead. I might get the electric chair. You tell me it could have been worse?"
He said, "Yeah, baby. It could have been worse."
He said, "What you mean?"
He said, "h**..., if you'd have came Thursday instead of Friday, you'd have gotten me too"
Death wish
A priest asks the convicted m**... at the electric chair, Do you have any last requests? Yes, replies the m**.... Can you please hold my hand?