Electric Can Opener Jokes

25 electric can opener jokes and hilarious electric can opener puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about electric can opener that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Electric Can Opener Short Jokes

Short electric can opener jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The electric can opener humour may include short bottle opener jokes also.

  1. I once went to an open air Queen concert. It was good, but there was a terrible electrical storm during the set
    Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening...
  2. I can bring a Lady to complete ecstasy with one hand To be clear, Lady is my cat's name, and the hand in question operates the electric can opener

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Electric Can Opener One Liners

Which electric can opener one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with electric can opener? I can suggest the ones about opener and electric plug.

  1. Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked
  2. I opened my water and electric bills simultaneously... Needless to say, I was shocked.
  3. Yesterday I opened my electricity bill and water bill at the same time …. I was shocked
  4. I opened my water and electricity bills at the same time. I was shocked.

Electric Can Opener Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about electric can opener you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean electric jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make electric can opener pranks.

Once a man, knocked on a door and an old lady opened the door. Without a word the man went in took a lot of cow dung from his bag and threw on the carpet. "You see , I have a wonder vaccum cleaner with me here, if this doesn't work I'll eat every piece of that dung" he said.

"Do you want tomato ketchup with it ? " The lady asked. "Cause you see, we still don't have electricity in this house"

Electrical Hum - True story

Was working on a Generator switchgear with the factory representative who was from Ireland and we had the generators running and the electrical panel open with all the thick bare copper busbars visible. As most may know anything with a ton of electricity flowing through it makes this humming sound. I told the rep that the hum always makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
He said " Do u know why it hums?"
Me, expecting a technical response, " No I dont know. Why does it hum?"
With a totally serious face he replied " Cuz it dont know the fookin words"

A vacuum salesman knocked on my door this morning

When I opened my door, before I could even talk to him, he dumped a bucket of dog s**... on my carpet
He then said if this vacuum cleaner doesn't clean your carpet within 2 minutes, I will personally eat whatever's left of the s**...
To which I replied well you better be hungry because my electricity has been cut off since 5am

A group of passengers are riding the bus to work…

Suddenly, the engine splutters and the bus grinds to a halt at the side of the road. The driver gets out, opens the engine compartment, and peers inside, cursing and swearing.
After a while the passengers get restless. A woman pulls a small toolkit out of her purse, gets up and goes outside, and sees the driver frantically trying to reattach a loose electrical cable with his fingers.
Would you like a screwdriver, she asks.
I'd love one, he replies, but we're ten minutes late already !

I was replacing a light fixture outside our front door when suddenly the electricity shorted through my screwdriver and made me drop it. My wife opened the door and said, "I turned on the light so you can see better while you're working."

I was too shocked to reply.

fake gorilla joke

a nearly broke zoo had trouble maintaining and caring for the gorillas, so they had to sell them to a different zoo.
to keep the exhibit open, they dressed up a staff member in a gorilla suit.
for the next week, the fake gorilla was placed in the cage and paid to act real, and he loved it!
everyone loved him, thinking he was a real gorilla, but one day he went too far, climbed up the side of his enclosure (electric fence didn't hurt him through the suit) and accidentally fell into the lion pit!
"help me!" "I'm gonna die!" the fake gorilla screamed.
the lion roared, ran over to the gorilla, and growled in his face:
"shut up or we'll both get fired!"

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and an MCSE are trying to fix a car...

The mechanical engineer proposes taking everything apart, inspecting all of the moving parts to ensure that they're running smoothly together, and then put everything back together. He is adamant that this is the best approach.
The electrical engineer strongly disagrees, and wants to check all of the wiring to make sure that it's not causing the problem.
They turn to the Microsoft engineer, who appears to be deep in thought. Finally, he says, "let's just close all the windows and open them again."

Important things in Life.

I had a power cut at my house this morning.
My PC, Laptop, TV, DVD, Ipad and new surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was dead.
To top it off, it was raining so I couldn't go for a walk, bike, or run. The garage door opener needed electricity so I couldn't go anywhere in the car.
I went to the kitchen to make coffee and then remembered this also needed power, so I sat and talked with my wife for a few hours.
She seems like a nice person.

Three engineers

There are three engineers heading to their college reunion in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. The car breaks down along the way for seemingly no reason.
The electrical engineer suggests testing the electronics of the car and attempt to find out if a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting stopped up.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, comes up with a "Microsoft Solution": Close all the windows, get out, get back in, then open the windows again, then he's positive it will work!
Source: One of my old professors but, it's probably somewhere on the internet.

Door to Door salesman - another oldie

A couple was having their morning routine before they head to their jobs when suddenly the doorbell rang. The wife rushed to the door. When she opened it a man with a bucket full of s,,t rushed in and splashed them all over the carpet with a grin. Before the women could react he started his speech:
- My name is Tom and this is the all new (insert random hoover brand here) vacuum cleaners that is guaranteed to clean any type of mess on your floors, carpets or upholstery. If it doesn`t do the job I will eat all of the s,,t!
At that point the women just asked him:
- Mustard or ketchup?
- Excuse me? - he asked with a blank expression on his face.
- Would you like ketchup or mustard with your s,,t, Tom? - asked the woman again somewhat irritated.
- There is no need for that. Just you wait until you've seen the hoover in action. - he replied with a smirk.
- Oh, but there is. We haven't had electricity for a week.

Vacuum Salesman

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We moved in yesterday and don't have electricity yet."

I told you I was broke…

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners . '
'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'
The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.

The French, the British, and the American are talking about submarines.

So there's a French, British, and American submarine engineer, sitting at a café, overlooking the ocean.
The British says "Our new electric submarines can stay underwater for a full two weeks without surfacing," he brags.
The Frenchman replied "Zat is nothing! Our new French diesel submarines can stay underwater for a full month without surfacing!"
The American then says. "Oh h**.... Yeah, well our new American nuclear submarines can stay underwater for a full three months without surfacing."
Suddenly, a submarine rises from the ocean. The hatch opens, a man gets out, raises his arm and says "Hail h**...! Have we won the war?"

When i say i'm broke...I'm broke!

Yesterday I answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" I said. "I haven't got any money!", "I'm broke!" and proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
I stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of broke do you not understand?"

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the First house of the street.
A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a b**... plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up within 5 minutes with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"There's no electricity in the house…" said the lady.