election Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious election stories

What are the best election puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Election? Well here is a complete list of the top election jokes:

The 2016 US Presidential Election

That's it. That's the entire fucking joke.

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"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"

"Mister President, we've been over this..."

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Doctor's orders for more peace in your life

A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives after this election, we should always finish things we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished.

I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now.

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Sleeping with POTUS

The night before the election, Mitt Romney was very confident & told his Wife Ann; "...this time tomorrow night, you'll be sleeping with the
President of the United States". After Mitt's concession speech, they headed to bed. Ann was getting undressed when she asked,.."...so how does this work? Is Barrack coming over here or I'm supposed
to go over there?"

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[Russian Joke] What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!

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Congratulations to Justin Trudeau on the results of the Canadian Election

He always did want to be a minority.

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They made special icecream flavors for the Election.
Mint Romney and Barrocky Road.

Both of them taste like shit.

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What if Jagmet Singh won the election

and it was actually Justin Trudeau all along.

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I hate how the losers of every election maintain such a high view of themselves...

They're conceded

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In light of yesterday's election in Australia...

What's the difference between the Labor Party and a Tarago?


**The Tarago has more seats.**

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A New Word For Your Vocabulary

Electile Dysfunction : the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2012 election year.

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why didnt the butcher win the election

someone found out about his pork-barrel spending

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Voter apathy

A fox once saw a crow fly off with a piece of cheese in its beak and settle on a branch of a tree.

"Good day, mistress crow," the fox cried. "Shall you be voting in the next election?"

"No", the crow responded, but the moment she opened her mouth the piece of cheese fell to the ground, only to be snapped up by the fox.

"What would change if I had answered 'Yes' instead?", thought the crow to herself, sitting on the branch, watching the fox running off with her cheese...

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Appropriate for Election Season

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and asks his profession. The man says he was a politician. "Ah," says St. Peter, "then you may choose whether you would like to go to heaven or hell. You may spend one week in heaven, then one week in hell. At the end of the two weeks, you may decide where you would likes to spend the rest of eternity."

So the man goes first to heaven. Everyone sits around peacefully strumming their harps and lounging on clouds. It's pleasant, but not much exciting happens, and no one he knows is there. The man thinks to himself, "man, heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be."

Next, the man goes to hell. He's greeted upon arrival by all his old political cronies and pals, they play golf, grill out, drink beer, and party late into the night all week long. The man is surprised. "Damn," he thinks, "hell is a lot better than I thought!"

He returns to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter once again meets him. "Your two weeks are up," the angel says, "where have you chosen to go?" "Well, shocked as I am to say this," the politician confesses, "I think I'd rather go to hell."

"No problem," St. Peter says, and the man is instantly transported to hell. But it is not how he remembered. It's hot and miserable, and everyone is screaming in pain. "Satan," he bemoans, "what happened? When I was here before, everything was great!" Satan shrugs and says, "the campaign's over."

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Canada makes history in the 2019 election!

They elected their first openly black Prime minister.

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What did Pete Buttigieg do to Trump after the election?

Creamed his ass!

But lost the election.

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Why the Chinese aren't democratic

Because their leaders can't bring themselves to say 'We need to have a great election; People will come from all over the country'

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What is a gay man's favorite thing on election day?

Getting exit polled.

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The election of the new pope isn't finished!

Karl Rove says there's some cardinals in Ohio whose votes haven't been counted yet.

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Did you hear who won the Canadian election?

The Voyager 1 Space Probe, flying away from our planet at 16.9 kilometres per second relative to the Earth.

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Who'd the goats vote for in the election?

Baaaarack Obaaaama.

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best election jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 21 puns about election. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty election gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these election jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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