The Best 79 Election Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Election jokes. There are some election recount jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these election election day puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Election Jokes and Puns

"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"

"Mister President, we've been over this..."

Sleeping with POTUS

The night before the election, Mitt Romney was very confident & told his Wife Ann; "...this time tomorrow night, you'll be sleeping with the
President of the United States". After Mitt's concession speech, they headed to bed. Ann was getting undressed when she asked,.."...so how does this work? Is Barrack coming over here or I'm supposed
to go over there?"

Doctor's orders for more peace in your life

A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives after this election, we should always finish things we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished.

I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now.

Election joke, Doctor's orders for more peace in your life

Obama walks into a bar.....

Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.

Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"

"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."

"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were terrorist hotspots not too long ago?"

"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."

"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"

"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."

Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:

"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle


Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election?

Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic.

We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.

Election joke, No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic.

Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election

She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth

With elections coming soon, my coworker asked me who my favorite president was.

I said JFK, because he's so open-minded.

Hillary Clinton is the Windows 10 of the election

She's terrible at keeping your information safe, keeps promising new upgrades but really has been the same OS since 98, and is constantly trying to install herself when you're happy with the system you've been using for the last 8 years.

I think I'll vote the NSA for president...

...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election.

You can explore election primaries reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean election elect dad jokes. There are also election puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


With so many Americans upset with the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election, we should look on the bright side ...

... and please let me know what it is when you've found it.

With all this media coverage about the clowns...

I'll be so glad when the election is over.

It's looking like Hillary is definitely going to win the election

I think I might move to Benghazi, at least she'll leave me alone there.

Only a few weeks left before Election Day in the US and I am still undecided...

...if I should move to Canada or New Zealand.

Hillary and Trump tie in the election...

And the election moderator isn't sure what to do. So he decides that the president will be decided by a foot race around the White House lawn.
Trump is up first, and his final time around the lawn is 10 minutes 11 seconds.
Hillary is up next, and her final time around the lawn is 9:20.
The moderator tells Hillary she's won the election and the presidency, and tells her her time. Hillary asks "9:20? Is that a record around the lawn?"
The moderator says "No, Bush did 9:11".

Election joke, Hillary and Trump tie in the election...

Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election.

If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.

To teach my kids about the election I let them vote for dinner.

They voted for pizza so I made tacos to teach them their vote doesn't matter anyway.

This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby.

When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.


If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country.

This isn't a political post; I just want to travel.

Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

Election Day Drinking Game:

Every time Donald Trump is elected President, we all drink and just never stop.

BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election...

Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants.

The winner of tonight's election is...

the Voyager space probe which is currently traveling at 62,137 km per hour away from the Earth into interstellar space.

On the bright side of the election

There hasn't been a presidential assassination in a while.

With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say

Make America Great Britain again!

As a Hilary supporter in Colorado, I'm still happy with the outcome of the election.

Since proposition 106 passed I can legally kill myself now that trump won.

Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange...

I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election...

...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!

Before leaving for the convention center on Election night, Hilary told Bill: "Tonight, for the first time in history, America will finally have two presidents sleeping with each other"...

When she got home, Bill was already eagerly waiting in bed, and he said:

"Is Trump on his way or should I drive to his place?"

Hillary's mad at Satan

Hillary: Satan! We had a deal! Where's the election victory that you promised me?

Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had?

I Hear that Russia is so mad about the US airstrike in syria

That they are seriously considering voting democratic in the next election.

"Ugh, I hate this time of month," she said. "It's like I've got the 2000 election in my pants..."

"'cuz there's Bush and there's Gore."

[OC] NSFW

I really don't think Roy Moore will win the Alabama Senate election.

He'll probably come in a little behind.

Before the election, I told myself that I would leave the country if Trump got elected.

Well, I did it, and it only took 11 months for the immigration officials to find me.

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Election

It's almost as if he doesn't understand that no means no!

What costs hundreds of millions of dollars but is worthless?

2nd place in a presidential election.

Putin recently won the election with about 77 percent of the vote,

Over the next few weeks Russia will see a 23 percent population decrease.

Trump called Putin to congratulate him on winning the election.

Putin said, 'Thanks, but why have you waited for over a year?

Putin's top official comes to him after the election...

"You won with 99% of the vote! Only 1% if Russia voted against you! What more could you want?" The officer said overjoyed.

Putin stared at him. "Their names."

Trump Advisor: "You should't have called Putin to congratulate him on winning a sham election...."

Trump: "Why not? He called to congratulate me!"

Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote

Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious

I'm nineteen and won't vote in this upcoming election. Here's why:

I'm Swedish

Why i love being Russian

I get to vote in the US election

FYI: I am actually British and never have stepped foot in Russia

What do you call it when you see two sexual predators running?

2020 US Presidential Election

This election is crazy.

One candidate has a Trump card. The other is just Biden his time. There's a lot of Harrisment between the the two of them and I don't think it looks good on either of them, that's just my 2 Pence though.

I'm still undecided for the upcoming election...

But I've narrowed my choices down to Mexico or Canada based on moving costs.

As they say during election season in Transylvania...

Every Count Votes

If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States

If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States

This is not a political post, I just want to travel

Waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project.

I know I did my part right, but I am worried the rest of you screwed it up.

I once got stuck on a deserted island. It got very lonely very fast, and I wanted some company

I decided to state my opinion on the upcoming election

The island went from deserted to crowded very quickly

The reason Nevada doesn't have any election results yet is

If you count in Vegas, you get kicked out

I've just time travelled from next week to tell you who won the election

It was the rich, old white guy

What do you call it when 2 seniors stay up past their bedtimes?

An election.

Why do the election results take so long?

It's a race between two 70+ year old men. What do you expect?

The U.S. election results delay is pathetic

In Egypt, we know who won before the elections.

It's 294 days after the US Election...

...Biden has progressed to 269.99 electoral votes, and Nevada has discovered 26 million uncounted postal votes that were discovered on 'Storage Wars'. More updates coming soon.

Why is Donald Trump actually angry about the election outcome?

It's a loss he **can't** write off on his tax returns.

Why did Trump play golf after the election ?

Because that's where the winner has the lowest score.

I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning

The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.

Donald Trump claims he won the election by a landslide

How else would you describe his campaign other than a 'natural disaster'?

Y'all are nuts- Trump TOTALLY made America great again.

So what if he had to lose an election for that to happen.

As a Syrian, I don't know why America is taking so long to get a definitive result from their election.

We know our results months in advance!

two hardcore trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.

God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud? .

God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232 .

After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought .

Trump has done in 4 years what 80% of presidents fail to do in 8 years

Lose an election.

I don't care what the liberal media says about the election. Come January, my national leader isn't going to change, and his name starts with T, R, and U.

It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.

Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven

God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?

God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought.

COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously

A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.

Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven.

They ask God if he'd answer one question.
"Of course" God says.
They ask how the Democrats rigged the election in 2020.
"It wasn't rigged" God replies.

The Trump supporters look at each other and say, "This conspiracy goes higher than we thought!"

How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask?

Ask them who won the election.

Covid is not a joke and should be taken seriously

A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election he actually lost by millions of votes.

Ashli Babbitt and Kevin Greeson die and go the Heaven...

At the Pearly Gates they see God who tells them he will answer any question. They look at each other and ask, "Who won the 2020 election?"

Exasperated, God responds, "Oh for the love of...! Biden! Biden won the presidency in a free and fair election! There was no grand conspiracy. The machines weren't hacked. The hand recounts were accurate. Just go into Heaven, you're already ticking me off!"

As they walk through the gates Babbitt and Greeson look at each other and say, "this goes up a lot higher than we thought."

How can you tell the difference between vaccinated vs un-vaccinated people?

Ask them who won the election.

Why was Vladimir Putin sad?

No one voted for him in the last election.

What's the only truly accurate way to determine if someone's been vaxed against Coivd-19?

Ask them who won the election.

What did the Republicans do when Obama won the election 2 times in a row?

They pulled out their Trump card

Why does Warsaw get nervous during its neighbor's election season?

Because of Germans rushing to the polls!

Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven...

God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. With my omniscient knowledge, I can tell you anything you wish to know.

Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election?

God: Joseph R. Biden

Conspiracy Theorist 2: \*Looks at his friend\* shit dude, this goes even deeper than we thought

Drains on society

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "You know, this past election year has really got me thinking. Did you know 4 million of these people enter our country each year? They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hard-working Americans and the government is doing nothing to stop them. Not to mention that they are dirty and they smell bad! They don't even speak English!!!" the guy rants to the bartender. "I hate babies."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the election landslide jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working election candidacy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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