Election Jokes

Funniest Election Short Jokes

Short election jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The election humour may include short elected jokes also.

1. If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
   This is not a political post, I just want to travel
2. "You're telling me that I'm losing my job because donald trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!" "Mister President, we've been over this..."
3. COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
4. Oh man you know what my favorite thing about being russian is? Getting to vote in American elections.
5. How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask? Ask them who won the election.
6. bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
7. Our President Elect is a real tough guy... The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a broadway musical.
8. Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious
9. Why did Trump play golf after the election ? Because that's where the winner has the lowest score.
10. Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

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Election One Liners

Which election one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with election? I can suggest the ones about candidate and campaign.

1. Trump has done in 4 years what 80% of presidents fail to do in 8 years Lose an election.
2. You know what the biggest problem with political jokes is? They get elected.
3. What do you call it when 2 seniors stay up past their bedtimes? An election.
4. As they say during election season in Transylvania... Every Count Votes
5. I'm nineteen and won't vote in this upcoming election. Here's why: I'm Swedish
6. The results of the election are in! Oops, sorry, that info is only for us Russians.
7. How do you milk a sheep? Pretend you didn't lose an election and ask for donations.
8. Why was Vladimir Putin sad? No one voted for him in the last election.
9. It looks like this election won't end with a bang But with a WI/MI/PA
10. What is the only thing that if you fix you make it worse? Elections
11. Biden runs for re-election in 2024. He promises it will be a great first term.
12. So I took a programming elective in school My final grade was C+
13. The election is finally over! Let Bye, Dons be Bye, Dons !!!
14. What do call the world's biggest puppet show? The US presidential election.
15. Personally, I am against political jokes. They get elected to office too often.

Presidential Election Jokes

Here is a list of funny presidential election jokes and even better presidential election puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What costs hundreds of millions of dollars but is worthless? 2nd place in a presidential election.
• No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.
• Who is going to win tonight's presidential election? The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.
• I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.
• With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say Make America Great Britain again!
• BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election... Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants.
• With so many Americans upset with the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election, we should look on the bright side ... ... and please let me know what it is when you've found it.
• The last twenty five years have been a bizarre time to grow up. For instance, i've lived through more 'Spiderman' re-boots than legitimate presidential elections.
• On the bright side of the election There hasn't been a presidential assassination in a while.
• Woohoo! Donald Trump won the presidential election! As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican

Election Vote Jokes

Here is a list of funny election vote jokes and even better election vote puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
• I think I'll vote the NSA for president... ...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election.
• I Hear that Russia is so mad about the US airstrike in syria That they are seriously considering voting democratic in the next election.
• Putin recently won the election with about 77 percent of the vote, Over the next few weeks Russia will see a 23 percent population decrease.
• Why i love being Russian I get to vote in the US election
  FYI: I am actually British and never have stepped foot in Russia
• Did you hear about the results of the recent Ent election? The alder statesman will remain at the elm, despite losing the poplar vote.
• In the latest federal North Korean election, Kim Jung Un won 100% of the vote. A landslide victory against his sole competitor: "*Or else*".
• Everybody should be free to vote in a general election. Everybody should be free to vote in the X factor. Nobody should be able to vote in both.
• Breaking News: Supreme court has ruled that basic intelligence tests for Election voting is Discriminatory. The judge said that it is unfair to block all Republicans from voting.
• I've decided that I will not vote in the next election for the following reasons, please hear me out. ​
  ​
  I'm 14

Election Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny election day jokes and even better election day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Election Day Drinking Game: Every time Donald Trump is elected President, we all drink and just never stop.
• This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby. When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.
• Only a few weeks left before Election Day in the US and I am still undecided... ...if I should move to Canada or New Zealand.
• Putin recently won the Russian election with a 76.6% majority... Oddly enough 23.4% of Russian citizens were found poisoned a few days afterwards
• In a historic day for Canada, Ontario held a Provincial Election on the same day the Senate passed the Cannabis Legalization Act. Turnout was high.
• UK ELECTIONS UPDATE It's post election fever in the UK.
  And the British ladies are more confused than ever!
  They are Conservative in the day, Liberal at night and nine months later in Labour😂😂
• We have essentially Elected 4chan for the 45th president of the United States. This is a day that will go down in Infameme.
• How did i know for sure global warming was real? On the day Trump got elected over 50 million snowflakes melted at once.
• Why Donald Trump might win the election but resign on the first day? He finds out he has to move in to a small house in a black neighborhood​​!
• Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history? Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president

Election Results Jokes

Here is a list of funny election results jokes and even better election results puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Russia has announced early results from the election The election isn't until tomorrow, but they've already announced that Putin has won.
• The reason Nevada doesn't have any election results yet is If you count in Vegas, you get kicked out
• As a Syrian, I don't know why America is taking so long to get a definitive result from their election. We know our results months in advance!
• The U.S. election results delay is pathetic In Egypt, we know who won before the elections.
• I was going to make a joke about the result of the US election But I don't think you would ever get it
• [Russian Joke] What will the results of the next election be? No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!
• Congratulations to Justin Trudeau on the results of the Canadian Election He always did want to be a minority.
• How did the Democrats feel about the results of Georgia's special election ? The just couldn't Handel the loss. They had worked their Ossof for it.
• Just found out there is a whole series on Netflix about this year's election results. Orange is the new black.
• Fan's of Marvel should be happy with the election results. Looks like you'll be getting a Civil War sequel much earlier than anticipated.

Heartwarming Election Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about election you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean party jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make election pranks.