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Elected Jokes

115 elected jokes and hilarious elected puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about elected that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Elected Short Jokes

Short elected jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The elected humour may include short nominated jokes also.

  1. If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
    This is not a political post, I just want to travel
  2. "You're telling me that I'm losing my job because donald trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!" "Mister President, we've been over this..."
  3. COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
  4. Why do the election results take so long? It's a race between two 70+ year old men. What do you expect?
  5. Oh man you know what my favorite thing about being russian is? Getting to vote in American elections.
  6. How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask? Ask them who won the election.
  7. bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
  8. "How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months.
  9. The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections. Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.
  10. If Biden is elected, I'm leaving the country If Trump is reelected, I'm leaving the country.
    This is not a political post. I just want to travel.

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Elected One Liners

Which elected one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with elected? I can suggest the ones about voted and election.

  1. Trump has done in 4 years what 80% of presidents fail to do in 8 years Lose an election.
  2. You know what the biggest problem with political jokes is? They get elected.
  3. You know the problem with political jokes? Sometimes they get elected.
  4. What do you call it when 2 seniors stay up past their bedtimes? An election.
  5. As they say during election season in Transylvania... Every Count Votes
  6. I'm nineteen and won't vote in this upcoming election. Here's why: I'm Swedish
  7. The results of the election are in! Oops, sorry, that info is only for us Russians.
  8. How do you milk a sheep? Pretend you didn't lose an election and ask for donations.
  9. Why was Vladimir Putin sad? No one voted for him in the last election.
  10. It looks like this election won't end with a bang But with a WI/MI/PA
  11. What is the only thing that if you fix you make it worse? Elections
  12. Biden runs for re-election in 2024. He promises it will be a great first term.
  13. The 2020 Election Results are in! Oh sorry, this is just for us Russians.
  14. So I took a programming elective in school My final grade was C+
  15. The election is finally over! Let Bye, Dons be Bye, Dons !!!

Elected President Jokes

Here is a list of funny elected president jokes and even better elected president puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Our President Elect is a real tough guy... The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a broadway musical.
  • In Sweden the ceo of IKEA was just elected president. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.
  • Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for hillary clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
  • Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.
  • If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me.... ....Like the words President Bush.
  • I believe in giving jobs to the mentally disabled... but we shouldn't elect them President.
  • No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.
  • Say what you like about Donald Trump.. But he's doing more than anyone else in the world to stop Donald Trump from being elected president.
  • If Trump is elected president... He will be the first billionaire to move into government housing after a black man.
  • Election Day Drinking Game: Every time Donald Trump is elected President, we all drink and just never stop.
Elected joke, Election Day Drinking Game:

Comical Elected Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about elected you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean appointed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make elected pranks.

A little girl asked her father...

A little girl asked her father, Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with `Once Upon A Time`?
He replied, No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with `If elected I promise`.

The Inauguration of the First Jewish President.

The first Jewish President has just been elected, and is being sworn in. One man in the audience is watching him take the oath, when he realizes he is sitting next to the President's mother.
She turns to him and says,
"You see that man up there, the one with his hand on the book repeating the sentences?"
"Yeah?" He responds
"His brother's a doctor"

A cobbler was once elected the mayor of a small town.

People thought he was a real shoe-in.

There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy...

Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846.
JFK was elected into Congress in 1946.

Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
JFK was elected President in 1960.

Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.

A week before he died, Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before he died, Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe.

---
Credit goes to the play: The Complete History of America: Abridged

You know, people in the 1970s thought there would be a black president when pigs fly...

Then Barack Obama was elected. And after a year, swine flu.

If Hillary Clinton get elected President of the United States...

...then it will be the first time two presidents have had i**... with each other(hopefully).

Fairy tales

My granddaughter asked me, "Do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time?
I said, no, some begin with "If elected, I promise to……………………"

Based on Trump's History, if elected, he is likely to get divorced and remarried while in the White House

It will be "Marriage Apprentice" White House Edition

If you elected me president, I would implement a m**... tax...

Talk about saving the economy single-handedly.

What's the difference between an elected official and a piece of garbage?

Garbage gets thrown out.

My previous relationship was like a presidential term.

It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office!

After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...

...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."

Republicans run for office by saying the government doesn't work...

Then they get elected and prove it.

If Hilary Clinton is elected president, what title will they give Bill?

First Lady's man (;

It's 2023, a child asks her father "how did Donald Trump get elected?"

".....that was the year all the adults were busy coloring."

Breaking: Donald Trump just announced ban on shredded cheese if elected!

He says this is a crucial step toward Making America Grate Again.

Trump just said if he's elected he'll shut down the corrugated container industry

He wants to make America crate again

If Bernie gets elected we should give him an honorary military rank.

Colonel sounds right to me.

Did you hear Mexico agreed to help Donald Trump build his wall?

They've gotta keep all those Americans out once Donald gets elected.
Sorry, super liberal grandpa told me this one on Father's day. Couldn't help but share.

When Trump and Boris are elected...

>When Trump and Boris are elected...
...they'll be like toupees in a pod.

Mexico is starting to build a wall

They're worried about the Americans crossing the border when Trump is elected.

Maybe Trump is right,and he's been warning us all along

If he's elected, there will be a wall, and mexico will pay for it, to keep americans out

What's the one advantage if Hillary Clinton is elected President?

We'll only have to pay her 77¢ on the dollar

If Clinton is elected president...

It will be the first time two presidents slept with each other...

If Trump gets elected...

...it will be the first time in History that a billionaire moves into public housing vacated by a black family.

Donald Trump could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and it wouldn't change is chances of being elected.

Because you can't have less than a zero percent chance.

Cheer up Hillary Clinton.

Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president, until after serving 27 years in prison.

Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history?

Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president

We have essentially Elected 4chan for the 45th president of the United States.

This is a day that will go down in Infameme.

Donald Trump and the 2016 Presidential Election

I would make a political joke about it but then it would get elected.

2016

where Leiceister City defies the odds of 3000/1 to win the league title, Cubs win the world series, and Donald Trump is elected as the president of the United States

United States once again votes for a minority President!

Donald J Trump is believed to be the first orange President to be elected in the history of the United States.

On 2008 the United States elected their first black president...

... on 2016 they elected their first orange president.

Some said Trump would be elected when pigs fly...

Of course the irony now is, they're not only flying, they're being flown by Air Force One.

Since Trump got elected 2.5 million Americans want to leave the country

That's 2.5 million jobs he's already made!

Just gonna say...

Number of times Leonard Cohen died before Trump was elected - 0
Number of times after - 1
Draw your own conclusions...

What's the most unrealistic detail about the new American wizarding movie?

They elected a female president.

USA elected a billionaire that is appointing other billionaires to fix the system that made them billionaires

I laughed so hard thinking about this on the dinner table

The US government has been trying to get rid of Fidel Castro for 50 years.

Trump gets elected, and Castro is dead within 3 weeks.

Women and minorities feel betrayed by Trump being elected...

Now they know how smart people felt with George Bush.

What did Trump say to Putin after he got elected?

Well, Vladimir, u**... for a real treat the next four years.

I don't want to make a political joke

It might get elected as president of the United States

Trump being elected is proof that we never developed time travel.

Today I know why we never developed time travel.

What is the difference between a fascist and a communist?

America hasn't elected a communist yet.

When Trump was elected President, Juan was very worried.

I guess you could say it was because of hispanic issues.

Trump and Obama having a private conversation in 2012

Trump: Mr. Obama, out of sheer curiosity, what must I need to do in order to be elected President of the United States?
Obama: President?? You have to be s**..., ignorant, probably delusional to think you can be qualified to be the President of the United States!
Trump: Perfect, I will see you on your way out then.
Obama: What???

I didn't get elected president of the Tree Club this year...

I guess I'm just not poplar enough.

I've often thought about getting into an elected office,

but I don't think I have s**... assaulted enough people.

Before the election, I told myself that I would leave the country if Trump got elected.

Well, I did it, and it only took 11 months for the immigration officials to find me.

I don't understand why we didn't get Roy Moore elected.

He was the pervfect candidate.
That was bad. I'm sorry.

Canada was shocked when they heard the US had adopted the Loonie .

Elected him president even.

The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.

The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.
"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."
"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."
"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"
"Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous."
"Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here."
"But accommodations, especially during the inau---"
"MOM!! I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!"
She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.
"Who was that?"
"My son."
*gasp* "The doctor??"
"No, the other one."

I didn't learn a thing in university

I elected to get a major in psychology and minor in reverse-psychology.

How did i know for sure global warming was real?

On the day Trump got elected over 50 million snowflakes melted at once.

A girl asks her father, Do all fairytales begin with Once Upon A Time?

And the father replied, No there is a whole series of fairytales that begin with 'If Elected I Promise.....

Oh Rosie

It is hard to know the difference between racism that gets you fired versus racism that gets you elected President of the United States.

The problem with political jokes

The problem with political jokes is that often they get elected president of the United States

A midget got elected mayor yet no one recalled voting for him.

He had friends in high places

Son to father: Do all fairytales begin with, Once upon a time?

Father to son:
No, some begin with, if elected I promise…

I don't think Elon Musk's comments hurt his odds of being elected to public office

Now he just has to run as a Republican

What do a female musician and an elected head of the county police have in common?

She riff.

I accidentally joined an organization...

I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization.
When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.

Did your hear about the police officer that only let people borrow things conditionally?

He was just elected share-if.

I don't approve of political jokes

They keep on getting elected.

It shouldn't be surprising our first black president was elected prior to Trump

It's always darkest before Don

A Russian and an American are in a bar talking about democracy

At one point, the American shouts The problem with you Russians is, you don't understand democracy! . To which the Russian eloquently responded What do you mean? We got Trump elected didn't we?

If Biden is elected, I stay in the country

If Trump is reelected, I stay in the country.
This is not a political post, I just can't leave because coronavirus.

What is the problem with political jokes?

They sometimes get elected!

Breaking News: The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden.

He's currently assembling his cabinet.

The CEO of IKEA was elected as president of Sweden

I hear he's still assembling his cabinet

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden.

The first thing he'll do is to assemble his cabinet.

Elected joke, The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden.

jokes about elected