The Best 71 Elect Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Elect jokes. There are some elect potus jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these elect candidates puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Elect Jokes and Puns

If electricity always follows the path of least resistance

Why doesn't lightning only strike in France?

Electrical Joke

Dad was a Bell System engineer. I told him that he had put up with BS for 40 years. But that is not his joke. His was:

How long is a short circuit?

As long as it takes to ***find*** it!

What's the most electronegative state?

Fluorida!

Elect joke, What's the most electronegative state?

Where do electricians get supplies?

The Ohm Depot.

Why was the electrolytic solution taken to court?

It was charged with a salt.


What is an electricians favorite type of news

Current events

I got an electric shock yesterday.

I couldn't resist it

Elect joke, I got an electric shock yesterday.

What do you name an electricity generator that makes infinite amounts of power?

Wattever.

I just electrocuted myself

It really hertz

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm?

Because he couldn't resistor.

You can explore elect assassination reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean elect reelect dad jokes. There are also elect puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Can you be electrocuted by a news story?

The answer may shock you.

An electron is speeding down the highway when a police officer pulls him over.

The officer walks up to the car and asks, "do you know how fast you were going."

The electron replies, "Yeah, but now I'm lost."

An electrician was shocked by a live wire when he was asked why...

He said he couldn't resist.

With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most...

He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too.

Two electricians are up on a pole

A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny:

— Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?

The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then states to the other:

— Told you it was the ground.

Elect joke, Two electricians are up on a pole

Why do electricians wear pants?

Because they hate shorts.

How did the electron board the train?

It lepton

After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...

...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.

The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."


With elections coming soon, my coworker asked me who my favorite president was.

I said JFK, because he's so open-minded.

What does an electrician say when he's confused?

Watt?!

I have electrified a clickbait journalist's toilet.

Number 2 will shock them.

An electron is driving down the highway...

...and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says, Sir, do you realize that you were traveling at 670,616,629 MPH?

The electron replies, Oh great, now I'm lost.

An electrician comes home at 2 am....

His wife asks, "wire you insulate?"

He replies, "watt's the problem, I'm ohm aren't I?"

This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby.

When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.

Election Day Drinking Game:

Every time Donald Trump is elected President, we all drink and just never stop.

Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange...

I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

Our President Elect is a real tough guy...

The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.

The American people should elect Gabe Newell president in 2020.

That way we can be 100% certain the President of the United States will not start World War III.

What does an electrician say while meditating?

Ohm... Ohm...

Tip: if you don't want comedians weighing in on politics....

...don't elect a joke.

(Credit to Bo Burnham)

I saw an electronic sign that said 'Check Your Speed' in flashing lights.

Lucky I did, it had almost fallen out of my pocket.

Two electric windmills are standing in a field.

One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The second one replies "I'm a huge metal fan".

Electron walks into a bar, bartender says what'll you have?

Electron says, "I'm not positive, how about something that excites me.?

What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked?

That hertz.

I just got electrocuted.

It hertz so bad, Watt do I do?

What do electrical engineers call their friends?

Ohmies

I believe in giving jobs to the mentally disabled...

but we shouldn't elect them President.

My electricity bill was running suspiciously high

Had the power company send someone over. He found a wire tapped into my house running to a neighbor's. Watt do you know, a Joule thief lives next to my Ohm.

An electrician was working at an apartment when he got electrocuted.

He died before he even knew watts up.

Before the election, I told myself that I would leave the country if Trump got elected.

Well, I did it, and it only took 11 months for the immigration officials to find me.

An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and an IT admin are in a car that won't start.

Electrical Engineer: "It has to be the battery. Let's check that."

Mechanical Engineer: "No, I think it's the engine. Let's check that instead."

IT Admin: "How about this? Let's all get out of the car and get back in."

I electrified the toilet of a clickbait writer

No. 1 will shock him.

What did the electrician say when he electrocuted himself?

That Hertz!

An electron is driving really fast...

...when a cop pulls it over.

"Do you even know how fast you were going there?" Asks the cop.

"Of course," replies the electron, "I knew exactly how fast I was going. But I thought this was the highway!"

"The highway?" The cop asks, shocked. "Do you even know where you are?"

The electron thinks for a moment and says, "No."

A few electrons are having a party

When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:

"Bond. Covalent Bond."

Two atoms are walking back home together...

One of the atom stumbles and falls

Atom: ouch, I think I just lost an electron.

Atom 2: are you sure?

Atom: I'm positive.

Electricians should join the army

They'll make great solders

So an electrical engineer built a house entirely out of resistors.

The welcome mat said Ohm Sweet Ohm.

I saw an electrician accidentally electrocuting himself today; you might say he was...

killed.

An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a civil engineer are discussing the nature of God

"God is an electrical engineer" says the EE. "Look at the nervous system! It's all electrical impulses."

"Nonsense," says the ME. "God's a mechanical engineer. Look at the muscles and bones. That's mechnical engineering."

The civil engineer demurs.

"God is a civil engineer. Who else would put a waste disposal pipe through the middle of a recreational area?"

This election is crazy.

One candidate has a Trump card. The other is just Biden his time. There's a lot of Harrisment between the the two of them and I don't think it looks good on either of them, that's just my 2 Pence though.

An electrical fault at the zoo saw the entire tortoise population electrocuted.

It was a turtle disaster.

As they say during election season in Transylvania...

Every Count Votes

Why do the election results take so long?

It's a race between two 70+ year old men. What do you expect?

The electron asked the photon, Have you packed a suitcase?

The photon said, No, I'm travelling light.

Don't let this election distract you...

From the fact that Slytherin blew a 472 to 312 point lead to Gryffindor for the House Cup during the trophy presentation ceremony at Hogwarts back in 1992.

It looks like this election won't end with a bang

But with a WI/MI/PA

The U.S. election results delay is pathetic

In Egypt, we know who won before the elections.

What do an electrician and a mortician have in common?

They're both shocked when they touch a live one.

An electrician comes home late....

Wife: "Wire you insulate?"

Electrician: "Watts it to you? I'm ohm, aren't I."

Electricians have to strip to make ends meet

Shocking i know

Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...

...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.

\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?

\- This one, young man?

\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!

\- No problem, dear!

After the lady passed him the wire, and left, the electrician tells his mate:

\- See, Fred? I told you this was the neutral wire, but no, you had to insist that it was the phase line!

I just got electrocuted

It hertz

An electrical current joins the air force

He was too afraid to fly over enemy ohmland because he was worried he'd be grounded.

Electrical Joke- I caught my son...

"I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently and now conducting himself properly."

Electric cars

**Do you need a current licence to drive an electric car?**

Why can't you take electricity to social events?

Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Duh, one. That's light work for them.

What does an electrician say when he eats dinner? Ohm, ohm, ohm

Ohm, ohm, ohm

Why did the electric car go to court?

It was charged with battery

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the elect biden jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working elect abolish piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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