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Eldest Son Jokes

9 eldest son jokes and hilarious eldest son puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eldest son that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Hilarious Eldest Son Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What is a good eldest son joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

My eldest came to me and

he told me he was feeling suicidal. I said, "Hang in there son", and pointed to the spare room.

Three Muslim women are sitting talking...

The first one says, "I miss my eldest son Ahmed. He was martyred in Iraq last year."
"Oh I know," says the second women, "I miss little Hamza. He drove a car-bomb into a Syrian checkpoint six months ago."
The third woman nodded, "Me too. My Omar was a s**... bomber in Gaza, so sad."
The first woman shook her head sadly. "Kids these days. They blow up so fast."

A man had been away from home for 3 days trying to hunt a deer.

Finally, he was able to shoot the largest deer he had ever seen.
He took it home and kept it a surprise from everybody else. He cooked it in the shed so that no one could see what it was.
When he brought the cooked deer to the table, his kids asked what it was.
"It's what your mother calls me," he said with a smile on his face.
The eldest son was repulsed by this statement and shouted, "Nobody eat it! It's a dog!"

The School Janitor

Janitor: I know im just a school janitor, but my eldest son is in M.I.T., his younger brother in Princeton, and my youngest in Harvard.
Student: (amazed) Wow, what are they studying?
Janitor: Oh no, they are janitors as well.

You've got 10 minutes...

My wife (38F) caught the dreaded virus, so it fell to me (39M) to take all the kids to get tested.
I gave them a 10 minute warning while I got my wife a coffee. After 10 minutes (okay it was probably at least 15), I called out to the kids "if you haven't already, can you please grab your shoes and get ready to head to the car..."
I grabbed my own shoes, finished my own coffee, took it to the kitchen, and as I washed it called out "is anyone not ready yet?"
_(no response)_
(louder) **"Okay, how about this then - who _IS_ ready?"**
_my eldest son (13M):_ "um, no one's ready"
#"what!? I gave you all at least 20 minutes!! What is happening!?"
_my eldest son:_ "Well, I'm David, he's John, she's Chloe"
...
and I don't know if I've been so proud to be a dad before

Diffrence between potential and reality

An 8 years old son asks his dad:
"Whats
the difference between 'Potential ' and 'reality?'
Dad turns to wife: "Would you sleep with
Barack Obama for $1 million?"
Wife: "Of course, I will never waste that opportunity."
Dad turns to daughter: "Would you sleep with Brat Pitt for $1 million?"
Daughter: Yes! He is my fantasy.
Dad turns to elder son: "Would u sleep with Tom Cruise for
$l million?"
Eldest son: "Why not? Imagine what I would do with that money."
Dad then turns to his youngest son: "You see son, 'Potentially ' we are living with 3 millionaires BUT in 'reality ' we are living with two prostitutes and one Gay

An old rich Corsican is about to die

According to the tradition, the most lazy son inherits all wealth
"Come here, Paul", morigan says
The eldest one comes to him
"Yes, father"
"Imagine you see 500 francs and the wind blows it away. What will you do?"
"I won't do nothing. Why should I tire if there's no need?"
"Good boy. Good boy"
"Come here, Michelle", tycoon tells the second one to come
"Yes,father"
"Imagine that a n**... passionate woman want to embrace you. What will you do?
"I won't make a movement. I don't want to get exhausted if there's no need"
"Good boy, good boy"
Finally, dying corsican addresses the third son
"Come here, Fransisco"
"No, you come to me"
Sorry for grammar, English isn't my native language

- Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?

One day during the family lunch the youngest son Paul asks his father:
- Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?
Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question:
- Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $?
- Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife
Daddy turns to his teenage daughter:
- Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $?
- Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.
Daddy turns to his eldest son Raul and asks:
- Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $!
Eldest son thinks a little and replies:
- Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.
Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him:
- You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay…

An old lady decides to check on his 3 son-in-laws

She wanted to see who respects/cares for her the most. She goes to the lake near the eldest son-in-laws place and jumps. The son-in-law dives in and rescues her. Next day, he sees a toyota corolla parked in front of his house with a letter -- Thanks from your Mother-in-law.
Then she goes to her second son-in-law places and jumps in a lake near his house. The second son-in-law also saves her. Next day he too gets a toyota corolla as a gift with a letter -- Thanks from your Mother-in-law
Now the old lady goes to her third son-in-law's place and jumps in the lake. He does not save her and she drowns. Next day he sees a Ferrari parked in front of his house with a letter -- Thanks from your Father-in-law.


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about eldest son can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of eldest son puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these eldest son jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.