The Best 24 Elderly People Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Elderly People jokes. There are some elderly people jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these elderly people puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Elderly People Jokes and Puns

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park.

It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .

Sunday Morning Sex

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

Convert today! $5000

Two elderly Jewish men were walking along when they came across a sign "Convert today! $5000." One of the men was interested and said he was going to see what it was all about. His friend had no interest and said he would wait on a bench. After 8 hours finally the man returns from the church.

"What happened that took forever?"

"Well the priest sat me down and explained to me all the things I have been doing wrong in my life. I realized he was right and I have converted."

"Yea yea but what about the $5000?"

"Jesus Christ is that all you people think about?"

I asked a cannibal, "What do elderly people taste like?"

He said "Depends."

Why should you never wear Ukranian underwear?

Chernobyl Fallout.

An elderly friend told me this joke, just thought I'd traumatise people with it too.


What band do elderly people try to avoid?

The Strokes

In germany after the succes of Uber and Ubereats a new app is rising under elderly folk for finding people to help in your household

They're calling it Ubermensch

Police has arrested a charlatan

He was attempting to sell trusting elderly people some pills that were supposed to bring them their youth back.

After further investigation the police found out that the same man has been previously arrested for the same thing in years 1734, 1859 and 1926.

It's pretty nice how people offer elderly people seats

Must be pretty weird in the restroom though

Thanks to the tireless work of an elder statesman, possibly one of the most dignified and smartest people in the process, we are starting to normalize relations with North Korea

Let's all give Dennis Rodman a big hand.

All elderly people have AIDS

Hearing aids, band-aids, and Rol-aids

You can explore elderly people reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean elderly people dad jokes. There are also elderly people puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


[NSFW] Two old men are talking at home

The first asks the other, "What ever happened to that streaking trend?" The other man looks confused "What was that?" "It was when people would take off their clothes and run through the streets." "That sounds great I think I'll do that now." At 90 years he undressed and took off down the street and he passes two elderly women. "What was that?" The first yelps. "I don't know." The second replies, "but whatever it was, it needs ironing."

Which continent has the most elderly people?

The incontinent.

What kind of cheese do elderly people like to eat?

Mature cheddar

I love it when elderly people are queue-jumping ahead of me in the grocery store.

In a patronizing way I then say: "It's ok, you don't have for so long anymore."

The majority of Americans said driverless cars will have a big impact on the elderly people

, specifically if they don't cross the stress fast enough.

Unfortunately most elderly people in the world see # symbol as pound ...

...and they named the women's movement against sexual abuse #metoo.

How do elderly people sing life is a highway?

Life is a highway and i'm almost out of gas

What do you call it when all elderly people in China are killed?

Youth in Asia.


Annual Sex

An elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age.

The old man responded, Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!

Bus drivers are the rudest persons on Earth.

They never give up their seats for elderly or disabled people.

What do elderly people smell like?

Depends.

A ton of elderly people died from having sex.

Man, it must be the strokes.

An elderly gentleman was telling his friend about a new restaurant he and his wife recently visited.



β€œThe food and service were great!” he said.

His friend asked, β€œWhat’s the name of the place?”

β€œGee, I don’t remember,” he said, β€œWhat do you call the long stemmed flower people give on special occasions?”

β€œYou mean a rose?” asked his friend.

β€œThat’s it!” he exclaimed and turning to his wife, asked, β€œRose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?”

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the elderly people jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working elderly people piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes