Elbow Jokes
78 elbow jokes and hilarious elbow puns to laugh out loud. Read human body jokes about elbow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is about jokes involving elbows.
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Funniest Elbow Short Jokes
Short elbow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The elbow humour may include short wrist jokes also.
- I passed all my courses except for greek mythology. It has always been my Achilles' elbow.
- I asked a pregnant woman if I could feel the baby She said that I could, but once I started rolling my sleeve up past my elbow she ran away. Rude.
- A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts when I touch my face, elbow and knee." The doctor says, "You've broken your finger"
- My friend, who noticed a bulge in my pocket says "What's that"? I said "Golf ball". He says "Oh man, that must hurt! I had tennis elbow once."
- A tennis player is leaving the court and and a guy walks up to him. Hey what's all that in your pocket?
He says It's tennis balls
Well, if it's anything like tennis elbow, it must be painful! - My Greek mythology class is killing my GPA. I guess you could say it's my Achilles' elbow.
- If a tennis player can get tennis elbow Does that mean a gynecologist can get tunnel vision?
- @Men..bet your female friend... ..that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
You can thank me later. - Despite my excellence in all other school subjects, I always got bad grades in Greek history. It was my Achille's elbow
- In a room full of doctors how do you recognize the gynecologist ? It's the one with the watch on his elbow
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Elbow One Liners
Which elbow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with elbow? I can suggest the ones about forearm and shoulder.
- My lack of Greek mythology knowledge has always been my achilles elbow
- I scraped my elbow looking for coal It was a miner injury.
- "I enjoy a joint every now and then" "Usually a knee or an elbow" said the cannibal.
- Did you hear about the constipated dyslexic? He had trouble moving his elbows.
- Why did the pothead have weak knees and elbows? He didnt have any joints.
- What did Ted Cruz's wife get after being elbowed by him? A Ted Bruz
- What's a spanish bow called? An elbow
- What kind of bows do you put on your arms? Elbows.
- Did you hear about the guy who got elbowed in the mouth? He was armed to the teeth.
- Put some elbow grease into that son! But I have arthritis dad!
- How do you say elbow in Spanish? El bow
Thank you for your time. Good day! - Why is your elbow called your funny bone? Because it's connected to the humorous.
- What is the most Spanish body part? Elbow.
- Why did the armpits lose the war against the elbows? They were under-armed.
- What did the forearm and shoulder say to the elbow? Humerus
Tennis Elbow Jokes
Here is a list of funny tennis elbow jokes and even better tennis elbow puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm a true sportsman... I have a tennis elbow,
A golfer's shoulder,
And athlete's feet.
Silly Elbow Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about elbow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eyebrows jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make elbow pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The elbow
A man is complaining to his friend: "My elbow really hurts. I think I need to see a doctor." His friend answers: "Dude, this is 2012, in the supermarket they have a new computer that can diagnose much faster and cheaper. Just place a u**... sample in the machine and it says what's wrong, and that only for $1!"
The man decides to take a shot, fills a glass with u**..., goes to the supermarket, finds the computer and pours his u**... into the computer. Immediately a small paper is printed and comes out of the computer: "TENNIS ELBOW. Keep your arm warm for a few days and avoid heavy lifting. In two weeks you'll be better."
The former scriptkiddie is impressed and decides to see if he can confuse the computer. He mixes dishwashing water with diarrhea from his dog, together with some u**... from his wife and daughter. To finish it he masturbates and drops his s**... into the cup and mixes everything again.
when he arrives in the supermarked he drops his mixture into the computer. The computer spits out a little less small paper: "Your tap water contains too much calcium, buy softener. Your dog has parasites, give him medicines. Your daughter smokes marihuana, speak with her. Your wife is pregnant and you're not the father, get yourself a good lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better!
Swear on my life this is a true story. An experienced cook in my kitchen just slipped and fell in a fryer....
Was mostly ok, definitely could have gone worse as far as oil burns go. His elbow and a portion of his forearm were burned pretty serious and the whole kitchen had stopped and the sous chef was giving him medical attention when the new young cook, who people were still trying to warm up to, goes
"Now thats what I call.....elbow grease"
Whole kitchen stops dead in their tracks, including the guy who got hurt, and bursts out laughing. He's now our favourite.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys are playing tennis.
After they finish their game, one turns to the other and tells his friend his elbow really hurts. His friend tells him to go down to the local pharmacy. At the pharmacy they have a machine where you put in $5 and a u**... sample, and the machine will tell you what's wrong and how to cure it. The friend is astonished so he goes down. He puts in the $5 and a u**... sample and the machine prints out a little sheet of paper. On the paper it says: You have tennis elbow, rest your elbow, stay away from strenuous activity, and it should go away. This guy is amazed. He drives home quickly, thinking he can test the machine. So, he grabs a big glass. He puts some tap water in, gets his wife and daughter to pee in it, and just for fun he masturbates into it. He goes back down puts in $5 and the sample. A large list prints out. It says: You have hard water get, a water softener, your daughter is addicted to h**..., get her into rehab, your wife is cheating on you, get a lawyer, and if you don't quit m**... your tennis elbow is never going to go away.
What do you call the elbow of the guy who directed Malcolm X?
A Spike Lee joint.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Computer diagnosis
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We all know that one girl...
A man and a woman are having s**.... The man is f**... the woman to get a little foreplay going. As hes f**... her, she grabs him and whispers in his ear "I like f**....."
The man grins and proceeds to inserting his fist. The woman moans in enjoyment, but says "Deeper,". He proceeds to slide his arm deeper. her is now elbow deep in her and she says "Deeper," so he complies and slips him his other arm after grabbing a flashlight just in case. Now he is in up to his shoulders. She moans and yells "DEEPER!" so he starts inserting his whole body until all of a sudden he falls in!
Now he's walking around searching for the flashlight he dropped. All of a sudden he bumps into a man. "WHOA I didnt expect to find anyone in here..." Replies the first man.
"Ive been stuck in here for a few days now."
"Oh I see, well if you help me find the flashlight I brought in with me..."
The other man responds "If you help me find my keys we can drive out of here."
Kidneys.
3 guys are waiting in line to see the release board in a psychiatric ward.
The first guy walks in and the board says, "Point to your knees." The man points to his elbow so the board revokes his release.
The second guy walks in and the board says, "Point to your ear." The man points to his foot so the board revokes his release.
The third guy walks in and the board says, "Point to your heart." The man points to his heart. The board says "now point to your foot", and the man points to his foot. The board is satisfied with his responses and approves his release. On his way out, the first two guys approach him and ask how he got all the answers right. The man points to his brain and says, "I got kidneys."
I don't go on and on about how I can't roller skate
But apparently the whole world needs to know about how this w**... in the river can't swim.
I used to be a police officer...
A guy came up to me when I was patrolling a street and asked if he could urinate between my wrist and elbow.
I said "Not on my watch."
A father says to his blonde, teenage daughter one day "honey I thought I asked you to wash the car like 10 times today"...
She replies "I swear I was going to, but I called a hundred different places and nobody has this Elbow Grease that you told me to use !!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the d**... say to Dwayne Johnson before they got started?
I'm about to be peoples elbow deep in the rocks bottom.
Brunette goes to the doctor
A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boy VS Girl Friends
A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you
The boyfriend says: Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow ?
Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?
I tore the elbow of my shirt last week, but I was able to stitch it back together.
On the hole, it's held up surprisingly well.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Jewish Elbow
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301.
There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow?
"What...you coming empty handed?"
Red head goes to doctors office..
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
Ouch!
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhea...d took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a hard working midget?
A little elbow grease
^just ^thought ^of ^this ^one
"Did you know it's impossible to lick your elbow?"
"No it's not. Here, try!"
My girlfriend is always hooking, ending up elbow deep in a bush because she swings both ways
She's a terrible golfer
I've always wanted to improve my knowledge of Greek Mythology....
It's been my achilles elbow for quite some time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lucky Man
In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady's breast.
Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
Lady: if you s**... o**... is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.
I almost had a 4.0 at University.
It turns out that Greek mythology was my Achilles elbow.
Body Pain
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad passed away a few months ago, today would've been his 61 birthday. Blame him for my sense of humor.
My sister messaged me. "How are you doing?"
I Responded. "My elbow hurts and I have a cold sore on my tongue."
"Two lessons learned, don't fight a h**... and don't kiss one."
Super deflect..
If you hurt your elbow,
then that's not any problem.
An old lady told me this
You know how rubber gloves are made? They hire all kinds of people; black guys, white guys,boys, girls, men, women; and have them all dip their hands in liquid hot rubber. You get all manner of gloves from this. Big ones, small ones, medical gloves, elbow length cleaning gloves. The more durable the glove, the longer they have to hold their hand in the molten rubber.
Betcha can't guess how condoms are made?
The beauty industry:
For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen
For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow
A blind man asked a young girl what 'milk' is...
The young girl replied, Why, milk is a white drink.
Now I know what a drink is, the blind man responded, but what is white?
Oh, white is the colour of a swan's feathers.
Feathers... I know what they are, but what is a swan?
A swan is a bird with a crooked neck.
I know what a neck is, but what do you mean by crooked?
The girl realised the discussion could go on for a while, so instead she guided the blind man's arm, straightened it, and said There, now your arm is straight. She then bent the arm at the elbow, and said, And now, your arm is crooked, like a swan's neck.
The blind man happily exclaimed Thank Christ! Now I know what milk is!
A man is jogging along the road when he find an absolutely pristine tennis ball on the ground.
It doesn't seem to belong to anyone. So he picks it up and puts it in his pocket.
While waiting at a cross walk another man notices the bulge and asks "What is that?"
"A tennis ball" he replies.
"Oh, that must hurt a lot! I once had a Tennis Elbow"
What did the elbow say to the knee?
Hiney.
My knowledge of Greek mythology is pretty average to hold an intellectual conversation about it.
You can say that it's my Achilles elbow.
I came home to find my little brother putting cake frosting on his elbow.
When I asked him why he said, "I told mom that my elbow hurt and she asked me if I tried icing it".
A Frenchman and a Mexican are sitting on a bench.
The Frenchman will occasionally sniff his fingers and say, "Ah, Fifi. My Fifi."
One day the Mexican asks, "What is this you're doing with the 'Fifi'?"
The Frenchman responds, "Every morning I finger my wife, Fifi, so I can smell her and think of her fondly. "
The next morning the Mexican finds the Frenchman on the same bench, sniffing his fingers and mumbling "Fifi."
The Mexican sits down next to him, rolls up his sleeve, and takes a long sniff from his elbow to the tips of his fingers...
"JUANITA!!!"
Two guys are chatting at the gym, and the first guy says to the second "what's that bulge in your pants?"
The second guy replies: "Tennis ball."
The first guy thinks about it for a second and says, "ouch. I had tennis elbow once."
What did a drunk guy say to a deaf guy who accidentally hit him with his elbow?
"Hey, watch your language!"
Life after Corona have become crazy
I went to the bathroom at a restaurant. I washed my hands, open the door with my elbow, I raised the toilet seat with my foot, I switched on the water faucet with a tissue then opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbow and when I returned to my table I realised....I forgot to pull up my pants!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow?...
"What, you're coming empty handed?"
There's this condition where twins are connected at the elbow and always laugh together, never separately.
It's called conjoined Humor
A baby clown fell down and broke a bone.
The doctor told the baby clown's father that they broke the bone in between their shoulder and elbow.
The man laughs.
Why would you laugh!?
Its humerus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife:
You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T.
There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in.
Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell".
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow"?
You're coming empty handed"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A visit to my grandmother
A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife:
"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T.
There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T.
I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right.
Get in, and with your elbow hit 14.
When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell".
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow"?
"You're coming empty handed"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
visiting grandma...
A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?"
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these b**... with my elbow? .........
"What . .. . .. .. You're coming empty handed?"
A couple is waiting in line with other guests to register at a busy hotel, and eventually are told that the only available room has twin beds.
The husband looks disappointed and says, "We've been sharing a bed for 44 years. I don't know about that."
The wife says, "Can we at least put the beds close together?"
The other guests in line smile, and one even quips, "How sweet!"
The wife then explains, "It's just that if he snores, I want to be able to elbow him."
