The Best 15 Elastic Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Elastic jokes. There are some elastic rubbery jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these elastic lace puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Elastic Jokes and Puns

Panty Stitcher VS Diesel Fitter

Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."

The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.

When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"

"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"

Two burly bouncers are standing outside the front of a pub.

One says "When I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's undies off!"

"Why's that?" The other asks.

The first bouncer finishes " 'cause the elastic is killing me."

When I get home

Two guys were out walking home from work one afternoon. "Man," the first guy said, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's panties off!" "What's the rush?" his buddy asked. "The damn elastic in the legs is killing me!"

Elastic joke, When I get home

To the person who lost a huge roll of $100 bills wrapped with an elastic band

I found your elastic band.

I can't find a title for this joke, still here it is

"So, you say that your husband hanged himself?" asked the judge.
"Exactly", said the widow.
"Then, how can you explain the bumps and bruises all over his head?"
"Well, he used an elastic."


Two burly, muscular men are in the gym, lifting weights...

One says to the other, "When I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's undies off!"

The other says, "Why's that?"

The first finishes, "Cause the elastic is killing me."

Dead husband

A detective asks a woman, "So, your husband hanged himself?"

Woman replies, "Yes, that is correct."

The suspicious detective continues, "But why does he have all those bruises on his head?"

"The old fool used an elastic rope!"

Elastic joke, Dead husband

A elastic band is thrown into a torture chamber,

A man comes up to him grabs him and stretches the elastic band out until he is just about to break,

The man stares the rubber band in the eyes,
You have so much potential

How did the first Ethiopian get to the moon?

He was tinkering with an elastic band.

What do you do with a rubber trumpet?

Join an elastic band.

What is the difference between a piece of fabric with elastic around the edges, designed to go on a bed, and an unexpected bout of diarrhea when wearing sandals?

One is a fitted sheet...

You can explore elastic panty reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean elastic rosa dad jokes. There are also elastic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a musical group made of rubber?

An elastic band.

What's the most flexible type of music group?

An elastic band.

Did you hear Mr. Fanatic started delivering gifts to children?

They call him the elastic clause.

Why Pyongyang the capital of North Korea?

It is the same noise the elastic bands that launch their nuclear missiles make

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the elastic spandex jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working elastic sneakers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes