Elastic Jokes
17 elastic jokes and hilarious elastic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about elastic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
It's time to get bendy and funny! As laughter is the best medicine, you won't want to miss these hilarious elastic jokes. From puns to one-liners, each joke is sure to leave you feeling comforter-able and in stitches. So, grab your elastic band and prepare to be enlightened with these elastic jokes that will have you in a panty of joy.
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Funniest Elastic Short Jokes
Short elastic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The elastic humour may include short stretch jokes also.
- I formed a rock group called the elastics, things aren't going so well so far though, We have one song and it's band.
- What is the difference between a piece of fabric with elastic around the edges, designed to go on a bed, and an unexpected bout of diarrhea when wearing sandals? One is a fitted sheet...
- Did you hear Mr. Fanatic started delivering gifts to children? They call him the elastic clause.
- Why Pyongyang the capital of North Korea? It is the same noise the elastic bands that launch their nuclear missiles make
- I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me ... Unless it's really cold because then I have reduced elasticity.
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Elastic One Liners
Which elastic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with elastic? I can suggest the ones about flex and squeeze.
- An elastic band runs into a bank with a gun. "Nobody move, this is a rubbery!"
- How did the first Ethiopian get to the moon? He was tinkering with an elastic band.
- What do you do with a rubber trumpet? Join an elastic band.
- It was so hard getting out of bed this morning Thank god for elastic boxer shorts
Rib-Tickling Elastic Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about elastic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean electric jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make elastic pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... Stitcher VS Diesel Fitter
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "p**... Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton p**...."
The clerk looked up p**... Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "p**... stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da p**..., Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two burly bouncers are standing outside the front of a pub.
One says "When I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's u**... off!"
"Why's that?" The other asks.
The first bouncer finishes " 'cause the elastic is killing me."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I get home
Two guys were out walking home from work one afternoon. "Man," the first guy said, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's p**... off!" "What's the rush?" his buddy asked. "The d**... elastic in the legs is killing me!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can't find a title for this joke, still here it is
"So, you say that your husband hanged himself?" asked the judge.
"Exactly", said the widow.
"Then, how can you explain the bumps and bruises all over his head?"
"Well, he used an elastic."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A elastic band is thrown into a t**... chamber,
A man comes up to him grabs him and stretches the elastic band out until he is just about to break,
The man stares the rubber band in the eyes,
You have so much potential
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Diesel Fitter
Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office together.
Asked for his occupation, Ole said "p**... Stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton p**...." The cleark looked up p**... Sticher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week.
When Ole found out, he was furious. He stormed back into the unemployment office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his unemployment pay. The clerk explained, "p**... Stichers are unskilled labor and diesel fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on the p**..., Sven puts them over his head and says, 'Yah, diesel fitter!"
