ejaculation Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious ejaculation stories

What are the best Ejaculation puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Ejaculation? Well here is a complete list of Ejaculation dad jokes:

A sperm cell contains about 37.5 MB of information. There are about 100 million sperm cells per ml; the average ejaculation is about 2.25ml, and takes about 5 seconds. This makes the average bandwidth of the human penis 1687 TB/sec

I know, that's a lot of information to swallow.


The costume party (Sorry if this is a repost. Best joke I know.)

A man, lets call him jim, goes to his buddys costume party wearing nothing but a pair of pants.
Jim's friend walks over to him and says "hey, jim... uh what are you supposed to be?"
Jim smiles and says "well im a premature ejaculation."
His friend looks puzzled and asks "okay, well why arent you wearing any shoes... or a shirt?"
Jim laughs and says "I just came in my pants!"


It makes sense why women hate premature ejaculation so much

Our whole lives we're taught that nothing worth having comes easy.


A guy walks into a Halloween party wearing nothin but jeans...

The host says "Hey man, I'm really glad you could make it, but I don't get your costume." The guest says "Oh, I'm a premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants."


I didn't know what to wear to my premature ejaculation support meeting...

So I just came in my pants.


So this guy...

with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.


A guy walks into a costume party only wearing jeans

The host asks him "What are you supposed to be?"

He says "I'm a premature ejaculation."

The host asks "I don't get it, why aren't you wearing a shirt, socks, shoes, or anything else?"

He says "I just came in my pants!"


Today is international premature ejaculation day

It was meant to be tomorrow, but it came early.


A man had no idea what to be for his costume party.

Nothing was working out for him, and it finally came to him.

Later that night he walked out wearing only jeans. His wife asked him what he was supposed to be. He replied "A premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants."

~Again an old one, but I like it. Sorry if it's a repost~


The host of a costume party hears a knock on his door. He opens it to find a guest wearing only his pants. He asks what he is supposed to be, and he says premature ejaculation...

Because he came in his pants.


What do you say about a man with premature ejaculation and severe diarrhea?

Easy come; easy go.


So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem ...

Comes out of nowhere!


Ive got an idea for a Halloween party costume...

I'll go only in my pants so when people ask what I'm whereing I'll say, " Im premature ejaculation, so I just came in my pants."


I was invited to the Annual Premature Ejaculation Charity Dinner.

"What's the dress code?" I asked.

They said, "Come in your pants."


Two really hot women are walking down the street...

when a man who suffers from premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere...


It comes too early.

Premature ejaculation is just like the punchline of this joke.


Did you hear the one about premature ejaculation?

Too soon, man.


So this guy with premature ejaculation...

...just comes out of no where!


So about that guy with the premature ejaculation problem....

...i heard he comes out of nowhere


Freudian slips

Are just a figment of peoples ejaculation.


I am holding a pre-mature ejaculation club meeting next week

Needless to say, You need to come early


A guy walks into a party only wearing jeans

The host asks "what are you supposed to be?

He says "I'm a premature ejaculation."

The host asks "I don't get it...why are you not wearing a shirt, socks, shoes or anything else?"

He says "I just came in my pants!"


I didn't know what to wear to the graduation ceremony of my premature ejaculation course....

So I came in my boxers.


According to a recent survey, 30% of men suffer from premature ejaculation.

The other 70% just don't think it's a problem.


A man went to a fancy dress party in just his underwear....

The host opened the door to see him there in his underwear. "Erm, yes?" he asked. "Can I help you?"

"I'm here for the fancy dress party." came the reply.

The host eyed him over. "Well, what have you come as? I need to introduce you."

"I'm here as a premature ejaculation."

"I can't tell them that!" said the host.

"Well tell them I've just come in my pants."


A man goes to a costume party wearing only pants. The host asks what he is. The man says premature ejaculation...

Because I came in my pants.


Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation?

Even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.


I'm tempted to make a joke about my friend's premature ejaculation problem . . .

. . . but my feeling is that it's just too soon.


A man walks into a costume party wearing nothing but blue jeans..

the host looks at the man and asks, "what are you supposed to be?"

the man said, "I'm a premature ejaculation."

host: "well, why are you not wearing a shirt or some shoes?"

to which the man simply replied, "*I just came in my pants!*"


I haven't figured out the punchline for my joke about premature ejaculation

But I'm sure it will come soon


Doctors say 1 in 6 men suffer from premature ejaculation.

I say it's the women who suffer.


A man with pre-mature ejaculation goes to the doctors ...

And saids: "Doc, I have a serious problem ... I suffer from pre-mature ejaculation .... "
The doctor said: "Fuck"
And the man starts shaking saying: "Uuuh ooh"


This guy.

This guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes outta no where.


What was Elvis Presley's worst release?

The ejaculation containing Lisa Marie.


I'm like a midget with premature ejaculation

I have a lot of shortcomings


So I'm sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office

waiting my turn for a check-up with my doctor. There are a couple of people in the room also waiting for their appointments. Over a few minutes, the people start talking to one another. One lady tells me about her gout she's suffering from, another man tells me he's got arthritis, when suddenly this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere!


Costume Party

A man shows up at a costume party, with only a pair of jeans on. As he's walking in, the host of the party sees him and asks him "What are you supposed to be?"
The man replies "I am a premature ejaculation"
The host then asks "Why aren't you wearing a shirt, or a pair of shoes, or anything else?"
The man answers "I just came in my pants"


So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.


Apparently half of men have a problem with premature ejaculation

The rest of us just don't think its a problem.


Premature Ejaculation: The Movie

Coming soon.


Why did the guy take his time setting up a premature ejaculation support group?

He didn't want to go off half cocked.


I once threw a premature ejaculation party

Everyone came early


A man goes to a halloween party wearing nothing but his pants

The host asks, " Hey, what the fuck are you supposed to be?"

The man replies, "I am a premature ejaculation"


I'm hosting an event tonight for the Premature Ejaculation Society, no specific dress code.

Just come early in your best pants.


So I was walking down the street...

and this guy with premature ejaculation just came out of nowhere.


Did you see the preview for the movie about premature ejaculation?

It's coming soon.


Premature ejaculation

A guy phones up a sexual health helpline.

Operator: hello, what is your problem?
Man: i have a problem with premature ejaculation..
Operator: can you explain to me in more detail about your problem?
Man: the boys I am raping are only 12 and they are already ejaculating


This is a story about my life.

The other day, my friend invited me to a premature ejaculation rally, so I thought about it, and yeah I've been a little fast lately, so why not. So I get a little dressed up and leave, walking out to my car on this wondrous summer day. The breeze is nice as it blows through my hair, whistling past my ears. When I get to my car, the look of my lawn in the morning light is so beautiful, I can't help but take a picture. I then drive to the rally, but when I arrive I see nobody else is there. I look everywhere, but all that's there is a bunch of chairs and a sign with the times of the rallies. The sign says the first one starts at 2:30 P.M., and it's 10:00 A.M. now. I guess I came too soon?


There is no cure for premature ejaculation

but I hear there's one coming soon. It could be there before you know it.


A man goes to see a therapist...

A man goes to see a therapist. After greeting him, the therapists says, "now, tell me about any problems y-"

"Premature ejaculation," the man blurts out.

"Oh," says the therapist, slightly taken aback. "I was actually going to ask you about any problems you had with your family when you were growing up."

"Sorry," said the man. "Spoke too soon."



You've red some of the best ejaculation jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about ejaculation. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty ejaculation gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

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