Einstein Jokes
151 einstein jokes and hilarious einstein puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about einstein that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your friends laugh out loud with these witty Einstein jokes that make fun of the famous physicist, his theories of relativity and quantum physics, and the discoveries of Bose and Pasteur. Get ready to crack up!
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Funniest Einstein Short Jokes
Short einstein jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The einstein humour may include short physics jokes also.
- TIL Albert Einstein was a real person. I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist.
- I only recently found out that Albert Einstein was a real person.. All this time I thought he was only a theoretical physicist
- They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
- A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein. Because he's dead.
- I was today years old when I found out Albert Einstein was actually a real person... I thought he was just a *theoretical* physicist!
- I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist
- Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study. His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
- Einstein walks into a bar... The bartender asks "What's the deal, Einstein? You look like you're out of energy tonight."
Einstein responds: "Eh, no matter."
[BTW this was original] - Einstein is on a train leaving New York. He leans over to another passenger and asks, "excuse me, do you know if Boston stops at this train?"
- I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger
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Einstein One Liners
Which einstein one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with einstein? I can suggest the ones about albert einstein and pascal.
- TIL Albert Einstein really existed I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
- We all know Albert Einstein was a genius.. But his brother Frank was a monster.
- A bar walks into Albert Einstein. Oops, wrong frame of reference.
- Einstein was wrong My girlfriend makes something out of nothing all the time
- Albert Einstein just finished his theory about space. Its about time too
- Einstein developed a theory about space... ...it was about time too.
- Einstein invented a theory about space... and it was about time too!
- What was Albert Einsteins DJ name? MC Squared
- Einstein's second wife was his cousin ... ... so I guess sometimes love is relative.
- Few people knew about Albert Einstein's older brother Frank He was a total monster.
- I just learned Albert Einstein's real I always thought he was a theoretical physicist
- Whats Albert Einstein's rap name? MC Squared
- Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively
- Why Einstein loved his parents and grandparents? They were all relatives.
- Yo' mama so fat Einstein did a separate theory for her.
Albert Einstein Jokes
Here is a list of funny albert einstein jokes and even better albert einstein puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Everyone always talks about what a genius Albert Einstein was. They never mention what a monster his brother Frank was.
- Albert Einstein owed the inspiration for one of his best ideas to his cousin who had Down Syndrome... he had a special relative, you see?
- My friend found out that Albert Einstein was a real guy He thought he was just a theoretical physicist
- Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study. On the other hand, His brother Frank was an absolute monster.
- It's Albert Einstein, not mine Few things are Infinite,
The Universe, Human stupidity and the amount of times you have to tell your Mother you can't pause an online Game. - Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on. His name was FrankEinstein
- Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics. His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.
- I'm pretty sure that I am related to Albert Einstein. However despite all of my research into my family tree, I just can't prove my theory of relativity.
- Guys, I just read something on the internet saying that Albert Einstein may not have existed! Turns out he's just a theoretical physicist.
- What is Albert Einstein's rapper name? MC Squared
Einstein Relativity Jokes
Here is a list of funny einstein relativity jokes and even better einstein relativity puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Einstein only own grandfather clocks Because time is relative
- Why did Einstein marry his first cousin? Because, it was all relative.
- Why did Einstein invite time to his wedding? Because it was relative.
- Can't believe that it's been over a hundred years since Einstein proposed his theory of relativity. Feels like it was only yesterday...
- Why did Einstein invite time to his birthday? Because time is relative.
- A bar walks into Albert Einstein. See, all motion ees relative, ja?
- Why did Einstein married his cousin? Because it was all relative!
PS: Inspired from a comment on TIL about Emma Noether! - I can't believe it has been more than a hundred years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity. It seems like only yesterday.
- My SO told me she had never heard of Einstein's Theory of Relativity before today. I said, "It's about time!"
- Albert Einstein Begins a Lecture on General Relativity: Ok, let's get started, so here is the gravity of the situation...
Einstein Theory Jokes
Here is a list of funny einstein theory jokes and even better einstein theory puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Einstein: I finally finished my theory about space. Mrs. Einstein: It's about time.
Einstein: Wow! How did you know that? - If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space, and it was about time, too.
- Well, Einstein has created a theory about space and it's about time too !
- Einstein created a theory about space and it was about time too
- Albert Einstein developed a theory about space. And, boy, it was about time, too!
- I think my girlfriend's love for Einstein's theories is driving us away from each other. But, hey. I'll be a good guy and understand if she just wants some time and space.
- How is dating in the south much like one of Einsteins most famous theories? They're all relative.
- After 50 years of research, Einstein had finally created his universal theory about space It was about time he did...
- Two guys are talking about their family histories... GUY 1: Hey, I heard you're Einstein's distant cousin.
GUY 2: I'm not sure, really. It's just a theory of relativity. - So Einstein finally finished that theory about space he's been working on. It's about time too, right?
Einstein Birthday Jokes
Here is a list of funny einstein birthday jokes and even better einstein birthday puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- On Einstein's birthday, let us not forget about his brother. Frank. He created a monster.
- Stephen Hawking asked Albert Einstein "What do you want for your birthday?". He responded, "You.".
Baby Einstein Jokes
Here is a list of funny baby einstein jokes and even better baby einstein puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did Einstein eat as a baby? Formula!
- What's the difference between Albert Einstein and this baby I just killed? Einstein died a v**....
Uproarious Einstein Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about einstein you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean relativity jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make einstein pranks.
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein counts down while the two hide. Pascal immediately runs for it, but Newton just draws a square around himself and stands there.
As he turns around he proclaims "Found you, Newton!"
"No, you found one Newton on a square-metre. You found Pascal."
Einstein, Tesla, Newton, and Pascal are all playing Hide 'N Seek
It is Einstein's turn to be it. So he covers his eyes and slowly counts to 20.
Tesla climbs up a tree, Pascal jumps behind a bush, and Newton stands right where he is and draws a 1m x 1m square around him.
"...eighteen, nineteen, twenty! Ready or not, here I come!" exclaims Einstein. Of course, Newton is the first person he sees so he tags him. "Gotcha, Newton!"
To which Newton responds, "Nope. Pascal!"
What was it called when Einstein m**...?
s**... of genius.
Relativity
A student is taking the train back to MIT, and realizes that Albert Einstein just sat down in the seat next to him! Excitedly, the student asks: "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"
Totally Nerdy Joke: Einstein, Newton, and Pascal playing hide and seek
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek. It's einstein's turn to count. Pascal runs away and hides under some bushes. Newton draws a large box in the dirt and stands inside it. Einstein finishes counting, sees Newton and declares "Aha! Newton, I found you!" Newton replies "No, you found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal."
scientific joke
Scientists were playing hide and seek. Einstein was seeker.
Amongst the other scientists, Newton did not hide and stood in a 1 meter square.
Einstein: I found you Newton, I-spy
Newton: I am not Newton, as I am standing in 1 mtr square, I am newton per meter square: I am Pascal
!@#$%^&*()
I knew a man who had the brain of Einstein...
He was also wanted for grave digging.
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal play hide-and-seek
Einstein decides to be the seeker and begins counting. Pascal immediately runs to a closet and hides inside. Newton doesn't run or try to hide. Instead he takes some tape, makes a box on the ground, and steps inside. Einstein finishes counting and turns around to see Newton standing like an idiot.
"I found you Isaac, great hiding spot," says Einstein.
"You didn't find me," Newton replies. "You found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal!"
Einstein, Newton & Pascal are playing hide and seek
Einstein starts counting "1...2...3..." and Pascal immediately runs away to hide. Instead of hiding Newton knees down and draws a square of one meter side length. Then he steps inside of it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around. He instantly yells "Newton I have found you!" But Newton replies: "No, what you see is one Newton over one square meter - so what you have found is one Pascal."
Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and seek...
Einstein volunteers to be it so he closes his eyes and counts to 30. As he is counting, Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton draws a square (1x1 metre) and stands inside it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around and sees Newton. He says, "Newton, you're it. I found you." But then Newton says, "No, you found one Newton over a square metre; therefore, you've found Pascal!"
Nerd joke.
Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing a rousing game of hide and seek. Einstein begins to count to ten. Pascal runs and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square in the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims Newton! I found you! You're it! Newton replies You didn't find me. You found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!
Newton, Einstein and Pascal are playing hide and seek...
Einstein is it and starts counting. Pascal immediately runs off and hides. Newton just stands there and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square and sits there waiting for Einstein to finish counting. When Einstein finishes counting, he immediately sees Newton, exclaiming, "You're it!" Newton only smiles and says, "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"
What do you call Albert Einstein giving a h**...?
A s**... of genius.
Why did Einstein cross the road?
So the other side could get to him
What do you get when einstein jacks off????
a s**... of genius!!!!!
(its terrible, i know)
They say you can't get a decent job without education.....
They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!
Newton, Einstein and Pascal are playing hide and seek
While Einstein is counting down from 100, Pascal runs and hides. Newton stands in pain view, and carefully measures out a meter square, then stands in it.
When Einstein turns around, he exclaims "Newton you're supposed to hide so I can't find you" . Newton replies "you found a Newton over a square meter, you found a Pascal"
How five Jews changed the way we see the world:
Moses: "The Law is everything"
Jesus: "Love is everything"
Marx: "Money is everything"
Freud: "s**... is everything"
Einstein: "Everything is relative"
Someone gave a h**... to Albert Einstein...
What a s**... of genius!
Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.
Physics Joke
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are all hanging out and bored so they decide to play hide and go seek. Einstein decides to count first, and as they are counting Pascal leaves to hide in a bush. Newton on the other hand draws a box under himself and just stands there. When Einstein is done counting he walks up to Newton and is like,"Newton, you're not even hiding". Newton then says,"Ah, but you found Newtons over meters squared! You found a Pascal!!".
Einstein, Newton and Pascal...
... were playing hide and seek. Einstein started counting so Pascal ran off to hide, but Newton simply drew a square on the floor and stepped in it. Einstein shouted "Ha, found you!", to which Newton simply replied "Nope, 1 Newton per square metre, you found Pascal!"
My friend told me I have a really bad problem remembering names.
I said, "who do you think I am, Alfred Einstein?"
After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...
"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein, the seeker, turns around and begins his count to 50. Pascal immediately runs off. Newton, however, takes a marker and draws a meter-by-meter square on the ground. When Einstein finishes his count, he turns around and sees Newton standing in his square. When Einstein exclaims that he found Newton, Newton responds with, "No, one Newton over a square meter is a pascal!"
What does Albert Einstein say after s**...?
To YOU that was fast.
Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek
Einstein is counting down while Newton and Pascal are trying to hide. Pascal jumps into the bushes and Newton walks a few steps, picks up a stick, draws a square on the ground and just stands there. Einstein turns around and instantly spots Newton.
- Found you Newton, you lose!
- Now wait a minute good sir, can't you see what I drew below me? I am a Newton on a square meter so technically you found Pascal.
My grandma recently claimed she once gave a h**... to Albert Einstein..
What a s**... of genius.
Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.
Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says Newton, you're terrible, I've found you! Newton says No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!
I got a h**... from Albert Einstein the other day...
It was a s**... of genius
What do Einstein and an iceberg with a lisp have in common?
They both tried to think the unthinkable.
Not to brag, but I consider myself as a mix between Rambo and Einstein...
...I have Rambo's intelligence and Einstein's muscles.
Einstein says that anything with mass can't go faster than the speed of light, but...
What if you aren't Christian?
An alien walks into a human brain shop
Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek, with Einstein seeking. As he counts down, Pascal goes and hides in the bushes but Newton stands in front of him, takes out a piece of chalk, and draws a square around himself on the ground. When Einstein reaches 0, he looks up and sees Newton and declares, "I've found Newton!"
Newton replies, "No you haven't. You've found one Newton over a square meter. You've found Pascal!"
What did the bartender say to Einstein when he walked in the bar at the speed of light?
Why the short face.....
Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.
It's Einstein's turn. He counts till ten and opens up his eyes.
Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein with a chalk in his hand. He's sitting on a box he's drawn, one metre a side.
Einstein: Newton you're terrible, I can see you!
Newton: No No Einy, you've found one Newton per square metre. You've found Pascal!
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide-and-seek.
Einstein is "It," closes his eyes, counts to 10, and then opens them. Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand.
He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to one side. Einstein says, "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"
Newton says, "No no, no. You've found one Newton per square meter.
You've found Pascal!"
You all know Albert Einstein, but did you know he had a brother
Named Frank.
Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.
Einstein opens his eyes and says "Newton! I found you! You're it!"
"No," says Newton. "You found a Newton in one square meter. You found Pascal!"
Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean
Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.
Einstein: asks a question.
Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.
Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?
Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.
Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*
Einstein asks: What is it?
Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.
Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek.
It's Einstein's turn to be it.
Pascal is nowhere to be found, but Newton draws a 1m X 1m square right in front of Einstein and stands in its centre.
Einstein says, Newton, you're terrible! I found you right away!
Newton replies, No, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!
Einstein and his wife are going through a tough time in their marriage.
Einstein: Tell me what you need, I'm here to help.
Wife: I just need two things right now, some space and time.
Einstein: Ok, so what's the second thing?
Albert Einstein once famously said...
"Every great quote will eventually be misattributed to Albert Einstein"
You're not s**... if you haven't been to university
Einstein never went to university and he was the first man to climb mount Everest
What do you call it when Albert Einstein masturbates?
A s**... of genius.
Newton, Einstein and Pascal meet in Heaven.
They're bored, so Einstein suggests they play hide and seek. Einstein starts counting to 10. Pascal runs to find a good hiding spot, Newton on the other hand stays in place. He draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square with chalk on the ground and stands in it. Einstein finished counting, turns around, notices Newton and says: Ha, gotcha Newton! , but Newton just replies: Nah man, you got Pascal.
An illiterate man and Albert Einstein are sitting together on the train.
Einstein: Let's play a game to pass some time. I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. If I can't answer a question from you, I'll give you $50.
Illiterate man: I'll go first. What has 3 legs in the morning, 4 legs in the afternoon, and 8 legs at night?
Einstein: I don't know. (Gives man $50) What is the answer to that question?
Illiterate man: (Gives $5 to Einstein)
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius
but his brother, Frank, was a monster creating doctor.
Who was the scariest scientist?
Frank Einstein
was einstein an actual person?
my friend says he is, but im pretty sure he's a theoretical physicist
Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek
Einstein is it, and he covers his eyes and begins to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't move. He leans down, scratches out a square one meter on a side, and just stands there, right in front of Einstein.
Einstein finishes counting, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims "Newton! I found you! You're it!"
Newton replies "No. You found a Newton in a square meter. You found Pascal!"
Albert Einstein had a brother named Frank.
But he was a real monster.
Albert Einstein was running 20 minutes late as a guest speaker at a science conference.
He finally arrived apologizing profusely.
Einstein: "I am so terribly sorry you all had to wait. Anyway, here's my presentation."
Host: "It's about time."
Einstein: "And space!"
