Eins Jokes
83 eins jokes and hilarious eins puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eins that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Eins Short Jokes
Short eins jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eins humour may include short triathlon jokes also.
- A nuclear physicist is drinking at Oktoberfest... He approaches the bar to and calls over a barman. The barman asks what he would like, and the physicist raises one finger and says,
"Ein Stein". - Would you like to hear a german joke? Tut mir leid so ein Ding existiert nicht
Edit 1: Grammar - A German man and his son walk into a bar... A German man and his son walk into a bar. The man points to his son and says "Ein Bier bitte". Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your Kind here".
- Did you know... If you count to three in a German restaurant, the waiter will bring you some proscuttio? Ein swine, dry...
- A University professor goes to his German doctor about a strange mole... "Ich bin ein doctor."
- h**... do you call a german lilliputter Ein untermensch
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Eins One Liners
Which eins one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eins? I can suggest the ones about metres and .
- Why is a German stone intelligent? Because its not just a stone, it's ein Stein
- What did the German physicist call his beer mug? Ein stein.
- A German theoretical physicist walks into a bar. He orders himself ein Stein.
- How many beers does it take to get a German scientist drunk? _Ein_ stein.
- Why can't Einstein build a wall? He only has ein stein
- Why is every 3rd pool in Germany empty? Eins
Zwei
Drei - Why did the German physicist keep getting mugs for his birthday? He only had ein stein.
- You know how many beers the greatest physicist In the world could drink? Ein Stein
- Which well-known scientist was half-castrated? Ein-stein.
- What do Germans call an unexpected pregnancy? Ein Kinder Suprise
- What did the German immigrant say to the transgender Du bist eine Mann
- What did the German say to the craft beer artisan? Eine bier, bitte.
- What did JFK say when he first heard 'Baby'? Ich bin ein Belieber
- Ein vits Skal jeg fortelle deg en vits. En høne med slips!
- A physicist sits down at a bar. What does he order? Ein stein
Uproarious Eins Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about eins you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eins pranks.
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein counts down while the two hide. Pascal immediately runs for it, but Newton just draws a square around himself and stands there.
As he turns around he proclaims "Found you, Newton!"
"No, you found one Newton on a square-metre. You found Pascal."
Einstein walks into a bar...
The bartender asks "What's the deal, Einstein? You look like you're out of energy tonight."
Einstein responds: "Eh, no matter."
[BTW this was original]
Einstein, Tesla, Newton, and Pascal are all playing Hide 'N Seek
It is Einstein's turn to be it. So he covers his eyes and slowly counts to 20.
Tesla climbs up a tree, Pascal jumps behind a bush, and Newton stands right where he is and draws a 1m x 1m square around him.
"...eighteen, nineteen, twenty! Ready or not, here I come!" exclaims Einstein. Of course, Newton is the first person he sees so he tags him. "Gotcha, Newton!"
To which Newton responds, "Nope. Pascal!"
Einstein developed a theory about space...
...it was about time too.
Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek...
Einstein is seeking, so Pascal runs to go hide. Newton stays where he is and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square in the dirt and stands in the middle of it. Einstein turns around and immediately spots Newton. "Newton!" he exclaims "I found you!"
Newton smiles and replies "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"
Einstein and God
*Einstein dies and goes to the front of God.*
**Einstein:** Here you are. I have a question to you.
**God:** Please.
**Einstein:** Which formula did you use while creating the the universe?
*God writes a formula on the paper and shows to Einstein.*
**Einstein:** But...There is a mistake in this formula.
**God:** I know...
Einstein invented a theory about space...
and it was about time too!
Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?
She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal play hide-and-seek
Einstein decides to be the seeker and begins counting. Pascal immediately runs to a closet and hides inside. Newton doesn't run or try to hide. Instead he takes some tape, makes a box on the ground, and steps inside. Einstein finishes counting and turns around to see Newton standing like an idiot.
"I found you Isaac, great hiding spot," says Einstein.
"You didn't find me," Newton replies. "You found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal!"
Einstein, Sir Issac Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seem
Pascal, Sir Issac Newton and Einstein are playing hide and seek and its Einstein's turn to seek so he turns around and starts counting and Pascal runs off and hides, but Newton only takes a few steps, stops and draws a one meter by one meter box around him. Einstein finishes counting and turns around and says "Newton I found you!" Newton responds by saying "No Einstein you found a Newton over one square meter, you found Pascal!"
Einstein, Newton & Pascal are playing hide and seek
Einstein starts counting "1...2...3..." and Pascal immediately runs away to hide. Instead of hiding Newton knees down and draws a square of one meter side length. Then he steps inside of it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around. He instantly yells "Newton I have found you!" But Newton replies: "No, what you see is one Newton over one square meter - so what you have found is one Pascal."
Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and seek...
Einstein volunteers to be it so he closes his eyes and counts to 30. As he is counting, Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton draws a square (1x1 metre) and stands inside it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around and sees Newton. He says, "Newton, you're it. I found you." But then Newton says, "No, you found one Newton over a square metre; therefore, you've found Pascal!"
Why did Einstein cross the road?
So the other side could get to him
So Einstein finally finished that theory about space he's been working on.
It's about time too, right?
What do you get when einstein jacks off????
a s**... of genius!!!!!
(its terrible, i know)
I can do something that Einstein can't.
Breathe.
What Einstein say when someone tried to take his beer?
Nein! Mein Stein!....sorry
Einstein
How do you know Einstein wasn't religious?
He was smart.
( please don't crucify me )
What does Einstein drink with breakfast?
Relativitea!
Einstein discovered three things slow time
1. Speed
2. Gravity
3. My Wife
Einstein, Newton and Darwin are having a small argument.
Newton, a bit annoyed, says "Guys, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation".
Einstein replies, "I think I do relatively understand it."
On which Darwin says, "Please don't let this evolve into a big fight, aight?"
Einstein quietly lays in bed next to a obviously disappointed partner..
After a few minutes of awkward silence he turns to her and says, "You see, it was fast to you..."
Einstein walks into a bar
The bartender says "Run, everyone! It's a zombie!"
Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.
Why did Einstein try to cross an elephant with a worm?
He wanted really big wormholes.
Einstein, Newton and Pascal...
... were playing hide and seek. Einstein started counting so Pascal ran off to hide, but Newton simply drew a square on the floor and stepped in it. Einstein shouted "Ha, found you!", to which Newton simply replied "Nope, 1 Newton per square metre, you found Pascal!"
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein, the seeker, turns around and begins his count to 50. Pascal immediately runs off. Newton, however, takes a marker and draws a meter-by-meter square on the ground. When Einstein finishes his count, he turns around and sees Newton standing in his square. When Einstein exclaims that he found Newton, Newton responds with, "No, one Newton over a square meter is a pascal!"
Einstein wasn't a genius at s**... ed...
When asked how boys are different than girls, he stuttered:
Vas de-deferens
Einstein Vs Weinstein.
Both are responsible for dark matter.
Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.
Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says Newton, you're terrible, I've found you! Newton says No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!
What do Einstein and an iceberg with a lisp have in common?
They both tried to think the unthinkable.
Einstein disproved, time travel is possible!...
..20 years old boy from Mossul ends up as 16 years old boy in Germany!
Einstein is on a train leaving New York.
He leans over to another passenger and asks, "excuse me, do you know if Boston stops at this train?"
Einstein was wrong
My girlfriend makes something out of nothing all the time
Einstein did tons of research on gravity.
It was groundbreaking.
Why did Einstein married his cousin?
Because it was all relative!
PS: Inspired from a comment on TIL about Emma Noether!
What did Einstein tell people when they asked him how he figured out E=mc^2 ?
It was just light math.
Einstein says that anything with mass can't go faster than the speed of light, but...
What if you aren't Christian?
Einstein famously said that insanity was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result...
... so I should probably stop getting up in the morning.
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek, with Einstein seeking. As he counts down, Pascal goes and hides in the bushes but Newton stands in front of him, takes out a piece of chalk, and draws a square around himself on the ground. When Einstein reaches 0, he looks up and sees Newton and declares, "I've found Newton!"
Newton replies, "No you haven't. You've found one Newton over a square meter. You've found Pascal!"
Einstein said that anything traveling at the speed of light would have infinite mass.
Your mom only travels to the Denny's and back and she's gotten pretty close.
einstien
Einstein married his first cousin... You could say that even his marriage was relative.
Once Einstein and Newton were playing Tic-Tac-Toe, it's game of '0' and '+'. However, neither of them won,
coz EOD it's a 'Zero Sum' game.
What does Einstein do when he has constipation?
He works it out with a pencil.
Einstein walked into a bar at 99 percent the speed of light..
The bartender looked at him and said, "why the short face?"
Einstein was a pretty smart guy.
His brother Frank though...
Like Einstein said, "Only 2 things are infinite, human stupidity And...
WinRAR trial version".
Einstein, Pascal and Newton are playing hide and seek...
and it's Einstein's time to seek.
He counts to 20, opens his eyes and turns around, only to find Newton standing in a chalk-drawn square on the floor. Einstein asks why he didn't hide, because now he's been found and already lost.
But Newton replies 'No you haven't because I, Newton, am standing in a 1m squared square.'
'You've found Pascal'
Einstein was caught doing 65 in a 30
He was arrested for i**....
"Speed is relative"
Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.
It's Einstein's turn. He counts till ten and opens up his eyes.
Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein with a chalk in his hand. He's sitting on a box he's drawn, one metre a side.
Einstein: Newton you're terrible, I can see you!
Newton: No No Einy, you've found one Newton per square metre. You've found Pascal!
Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide-and-seek.
Einstein is "It," closes his eyes, counts to 10, and then opens them. Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand.
He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to one side. Einstein says, "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"
Newton says, "No no, no. You've found one Newton per square meter.
You've found Pascal!"
Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek.
It's Einstein's turn to be it.
Pascal is nowhere to be found, but Newton draws a 1m X 1m square right in front of Einstein and stands in its centre.
Einstein says, Newton, you're terrible! I found you right away!
Newton replies, No, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!
Einstein and his wife are going through a tough time in their marriage.
Einstein: Tell me what you need, I'm here to help.
Wife: I just need two things right now, some space and time.
Einstein: Ok, so what's the second thing?
was einstein an actual person?
my friend says he is, but im pretty sure he's a theoretical physicist
Why did Einstein invite time to his wedding?
Because it was relative.
"Un, deux, t**..., quatre", radioed the French ship...
...before it cinq.
"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.
"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.
"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.
"Oh," radioed the American sub. "I guess we won"
Einstein created a theory about space
and it was about time too
Why Einstein loved his parents and grandparents?
They were all relatives.
einstein love this joke
Mars: Come over
NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away
Mars: I'm wet
NASA: I'm coming over
Well, Einstein has created a theory about space
and it's about time too !
Why did Einstein invite time to his birthday?
Because time is relative.
Einstein: I finally finished my theory about space.
Mrs. Einstein: It's about time.
Einstein: Wow! How did you know that?
Why did Einstein only own grandfather clocks
Because time is relative
Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek together
Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek together.
It's Einstein's turn to count, and he closes his eyes. After counting to 10, Pascal runs away and hides.
Newton, on the other hand, very calmly draws a square on the ground, 1 meter on each side, in front of the place that Einstein counted, and goes to the middle of it and starts to wait.
When Einstein reaches 10, he opens his eyes and immediately says, "Newton, I found you!!" he shouts.
Newton smiles and says calmly: "You didn't find me, you found Newton per square meter. So you found Pascal."
Einstein spent 10 years studying gravity.
It must have weighed heavily on him.
Why did Einstein marry his first cousin?
Because, it was all relative.
