Eighth Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

An infinite number of people walk into a bar...

The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer...


The bartender pulls out two beers and tells them to know their limits.

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.

Which makes me an eighth theist.

I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible

I'm an eighth theist

"Look at this!" I said to my roommate

"What happened?" he replied

"Look, the second, fourth, sixth and eighth plants are growing very healthily, but the other four are getting dry, even though I treated them the same!" I said

"Huh, weird!" he responded "water the odds!"

So, an infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a pint. The second orders half a pint. The third orders a quarter, the fourth orders an eighth, and the fifth orders a sixteenth. The sixth mathematician is about to speak up when the bartender interrupts him and puts two pints on the bar, saying "You guys don't know your limits."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

First one says give me half a pint. Second one says a quarter, third says an eighth. The bartender puts down one pint and says, you people need to know your limits.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third one orders a quarter, and the fourth one orders one eighth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says,"you guys should know your limits."

A guy walking into a bar

Β sees an old man fishing in a puddle off the sidewalk.

Poor Old fool, he thought. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?

The old man replied, You're the eighth.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders half a beer. The third mathematician orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth mathematician orders an eighth of a beer. Before the next one can speak, the rather annoyed bartender slams two beers down on the bar and says, "You guys really need to learn your limits!"

A racist joke.

Why don't you fight the black kid that is in the second grade?

Because his father is in the eighth grade.

My wife is a computer geek and wants to name our son "one eighth of a byte"

So I said "Really honey? Don't you think that's a bit...?"

I had 10 bottles of Rum....

...the good sort. But my wife forced me to throw away them all.

I took the first bottle, drank a glass and threw the rest on the sink.

Took the second bottle,drank a glass and threw the rest on the sink.


Took the third bottle, drank the rest and threw the glass on the sink.


Took the fourth bottle, drank in the sink and threw the rest on the glass.


Took the fifth glass, threw the cork on the sink and drank the bottle.


Took the sixth sink, drank the bottle and thew the glass on the rest.


The seventh bottle i took the rest and drank in the sink.


Took the glass, drank the rest and threw the sink on the eighth bottle.


Threw the ninth sink on the glass, took the bottle and drank the rest.


On the tenth glass, i took on the bottle on the rest and threw myself on the sink.

A Hillbilly is the First in his Family to Attend Ninth Grade...

Jethro is the first in a long line of hillbillies and bumpkins to attend schooling beyond the eighth grade. After his first day of high school, the whole family is bursting with pride to see him swaggering up the driveway.

His father says, "Jethro, come tell us about that fancy high school! What'd you learn up there today?"

Jethro says, "Pa, they taught me some al-gee-bra."

His father is dumbstruck. "What is al-gee-bra, boy?"

Jethro says, "I ain't too sure. I think it's a math language."

His father says, "Well, speak some of that fancy al-gee-bra for us!"

Jethro says, "Pi R Squared."

Everyone in the family stops smiling. Jethro's father shakes his head. "No, boy. Pie are round. Cornbread are squared."

[Long] A mathematician and his infinite amount of friends walk into a bar.

The bartender asks "what will you all be having?" The mathematician then says, "I'll have a beer and my friend will have half a beer, my other friend will have a quarter of a beer. My other friend will have an eighth of a beer, then a sixteenth," etc. This goes on for a while and after about 40 or more orders, the bartender pipes up, "Jeez, you mathematicians sure don't know your limits," and places two beers down on the counter.

A guy goes golfing with a pal on Saturday morning.

When they're on the eighth hole, they see a funeral procession pass the golf course, at which point the guy stops, lowers his head for a few seconds, and then heads to the tee.

Whereupon his friend says, "That's so respectful. Here we are playing golf and you take a moment to pay your respects."

To which the guy responds, "Well, we had a great marriage."

I was an alcoholic for seven years.

Today marks my eighth.

I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realised I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again ...

Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.

Why did God create the moon and stars on the eighth day?

After spending a day with Eve, Adam begged God for some space

A group of people of all genders walk into a bar...

The first orders a beer... The second orders half a beer... The third orders one quarter of a beer... The fourth orders one eighth of a beer...

The bartender pours two beers for the entire group, and replies "cmon guys, know your limits."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third guy a quarter of a beer, the fourth guy get a eighth of a beer the fifth orders a sixteenth of a beer...

The bar then collapses into a black hole due to the crowd.

On the eighth day God said:

-Widescreen is the best for humanity. Sony 16:9.

New Conspiracy Theory about 9/11

So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.

If I believe in God 12.5% of the time

Does that make me an eighth theist?

It only took me one drink to get drunk...

I just can't remember if it was the seventh or the eighth
(George Burns)

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one says, "give me a beer please."

The second one says, "give me a half of a beer please."

The third one says, "give me a quarter of a beer please."

The fourth one says, "give me an eighth of a beer please."

And so on.

Frustrated, the bartender says, "know your limits!", and places two beers on the table.

An elementary teacher was talking to her class about safety when crossing the street.

"I used to have a little brother, and on his eighth birthday my parents got him a brand new red bike. He was across the street at his grandmas' when dad wheeled it outside. My brother was so excited that he ran across the street without looking, right in front of a car. The car hit him and he died." One of the children raised his hand and asked, "Where's his bike?"

What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale?

A top-of-the-lime model.

One of my great-grandparents believed in God, but the other seven didn't

Which makes me an eighth theist

A guy goes into a bar...

and he orders 10 shots of tequila. Bartender pours them and the guy starts drinking them really fast, one after the other. When he gets to his eighth shot the bartender asks "Hey man what's going on?" The man says "If you had what I had you would be drinking them this fast too." The bartender asks "What do you have?" After the guy finishes his last two shots he wipes his mouth and says "About two bucks."

Yoda is bad at telling jokes

Why afraid of seven was six?
Eighth nine seven because!

A mathematician walks into a bar.

He asks the bartender for a pint. Then another mathematician walks into the bar, and asks for half a pint. Suddenly, an infinite number of mathematicians walk into the bar, asking for a quarter pint, an eighth, and so on, each asking for half of what the last mathematician ordered...

The bartender knows what's up. He says, "Oh, you mathematicians!" and pours two pints total for everyone.

There are 10 types of people in the world

Those in the first decile,

Those in the second decile,

Those in the third decile,

Those in the fourth decile,

Those in the fifth decile,

Those in the sixth decile,

Those in the seventh decile,

Those in the eighth decile,

Those in the ninth decile,

And finally, those in the tenth decile.

What are the funniest eighth jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Eighth? Well, here are the best Eighth puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Eighth pick up lines to share with friends.

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