Eighth Jokes
42 eighth jokes and hilarious eighth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eighth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your 8th grader laugh with these funny eighth grade jokes! From clever quips about Henry the Eighth to hilarious jokes about graduating 8th grade, we've got jokes to cover all the milestones that 8th graders are experiencing. Make sure your 8th grader is laughing through all their accomplishments!
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Funniest Eighth Short Jokes
Short eighth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eighth humour may include short seventh jokes also.
- What do kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name.
- guys pray for my friend. He told me he only believed 12.5% of the bible... he said he's an eighth theist
- My wife is a computer geek and wants to name our son "one eighth of a byte" So I said "Really honey? Don't you think that's a bit...?"
- Why did God create the moon and stars on the eighth day? After spending a day with Eve, Adam begged God for some space
- The widow next door just got married for the eighth time. Every single wonderful husband has had the same first name. Can you guess what that name is?
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William. She's a Bill collector. - It only took me one drink to get drunk... I just can't remember if it was the seventh or the eighth
(George Burns) - One of my great-grandparents believed in God, but the other seven didn't Which makes me an eighth theist
- I need a fraction of your time for this I asked my mathematics teacher to give me 11 eighths but she said that would be improper...
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Eighth One Liners
Which eighth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eighth? I can suggest the ones about ninth and number 8.
- I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says. Which makes me an eighth theist.
- I was an alcoholic for seven years. Today marks my eighth.
- On the eighth day God said: -Widescreen is the best for humanity. Sony 16:9.
- What do you call the upper eighth of a lime for sale? A top-of-the-lime model.
- There used to be an eighth dwarf.. His name was Lumpy. He died.
- Why did the video of the eighth note get taken off of youtube? It got flagged.
- I've been an addict for 7 years Today marks my eighth
- I learned about STDs in eighth grade. The hard way.
- Why was Henry the Eighth so fat? Because he Tudor house.
Giggle-Inducing Eighth Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about eighth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sixth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eighth pranks.
A mathematician walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender for a pint. Then another mathematician walks into the bar, and asks for half a pint. Suddenly, an infinite number of mathematicians walk into the bar, asking for a quarter pint, an eighth, and so on, each asking for half of what the last mathematician ordered...
The bartender knows what's up. He says, "Oh, you mathematicians!" and pours two pints total for everyone.
There are 10 types of people in the world
Those in the first decile,
Those in the second decile,
Those in the third decile,
Those in the fourth decile,
Those in the fifth decile,
Those in the sixth decile,
Those in the seventh decile,
Those in the eighth decile,
Those in the ninth decile,
And finally, those in the tenth decile.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had 10 bottles of r**.......
...the good sort. But my wife forced me to throw away them all.
I took the first bottle, drank a glass and threw the rest on the sink.
Took the second bottle,drank a glass and threw the rest on the sink.
Took the third bottle, drank the rest and threw the glass on the sink.
Took the fourth bottle, drank in the sink and threw the rest on the glass.
Took the fifth glass, threw the cork on the sink and drank the bottle.
Took the sixth sink, drank the bottle and thew the glass on the rest.
The seventh bottle i took the rest and drank in the sink.
Took the glass, drank the rest and threw the sink on the eighth bottle.
Threw the ninth sink on the glass, took the bottle and drank the rest.
On the tenth glass, i took on the bottle on the rest and threw myself on the sink.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A h**... is the First in his Family to Attend Ninth Grade...
Jethro is the first in a long line of h**... and bumpkins to attend schooling beyond the eighth grade. After his first day of high school, the whole family is bursting with pride to see him swaggering up the driveway.
His father says, "Jethro, come tell us about that fancy high school! What'd you learn up there today?"
Jethro says, "Pa, they taught me some al-gee-bra."
His father is dumbstruck. "What is al-gee-bra, boy?"
Jethro says, "I ain't too sure. I think it's a math language."
His father says, "Well, speak some of that fancy al-gee-bra for us!"
Jethro says, "Pi R Squared."
Everyone in the family stops smiling. Jethro's father shakes his head. "No, boy. Pie are round. Cornbread are squared."
[Long] A mathematician and his infinite amount of friends walk into a bar.
The bartender asks "what will you all be having?" The mathematician then says, "I'll have a beer and my friend will have half a beer, my other friend will have a quarter of a beer. My other friend will have an eighth of a beer, then a sixteenth," etc. This goes on for a while and after about 40 or more orders, the bartender pipes up, "Jeez, you mathematicians sure don't know your limits," and places two beers down on the counter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't you fight the black kid that is in the second grade?
Because his father is in the eighth grade.
A guy walking into a bar
sees an old man fishing in a puddle off the sidewalk.
Poor Old fool, he thought. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
"Look at this!" I said to my roommate
"What happened?" he replied
"Look, the second, fourth, sixth and eighth plants are growing very healthily, but the other four are getting dry, even though I treated them the same!" I said
"Huh, weird!" he responded "water the odds!"
An infinite number of people walk into a bar...
The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer...
The bartender pulls out two beers and tells them to know their limits.
I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realised I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again ...
Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.
An elementary teacher was talking to her class about safety when crossing the street.
"I used to have a little brother, and on his eighth birthday my parents got him a brand new red bike. He was across the street at his grandmas' when dad wheeled it outside. My brother was so excited that he ran across the street without looking, right in front of a car. The car hit him and he died." One of the children raised his hand and asked, "Where's his bike?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
15 police came to my house today with a warrant
They found two bongs and an eighth of w**....
New Conspiracy Theory about 9/11
So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.
My mom said that every day that has the number "one" in it, we can go on the computer, weird rule, but oh well, I have no choice but to follow it.
The first comes around, I ask my mom if I can go on the computer, she said no. I'm confused now, then the second comes, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh. I ask her again. No, twelfth, nope! I sit on the couch.
I sigh. "Maybe one day I'll get to go on the computer."
My mother replies, "that's the plan."
A group of mathematicians walks into a bar
The bartender asks, "what can I get you guys?"
The first mathematician replies, "I'll have a beer."
The second mathematician replies, "I'll have a half of a beer."
The third replies, "I'll have a fourth of a beer."
The fourth replies, "I'll have an eighth of a beer."
And so on...
The bartender returns with two beers. Outraged, one mathematician demands to the bartender, "how do you expect us to all get drunk off of two beers!"
The bartender replies, "you guys should really know your limits!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pigeon problem
Visited a friend on the eighth floor of her old government office building in Washington. There were hundreds of pigeons sitting on the ledge along the building outside the windows, making noise and p**..., two inches deep in some places. They were really annoying. I asked her if they'd tried getting rid of them. She said, "See those wires along the ledge? They are carrying 1000 volts. We thought that would get rid of them, but it didn't phase them a bit." I told her "I'm not surprised. That's AC current, and these are DC pigeons."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Poor Old fool thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub…
So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
