The Best 72 Egyptian Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Egyptian jokes. There are some egyptian denial jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these egyptian ancient egyptian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Egyptian Jokes and Puns

Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer?

In denial.

Did you hear that archaeologists discovered an unusual ancient Egyptian tomb recently?

The body was preserved with chocolate and nuts.

Experts believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Roche!

Did you hear about the Egyptian murderer who evaded capture by jumping into a river?

Police said he was in denial.

Egyptian joke, Did you hear about the Egyptian murderer who evaded capture by jumping into a river?

An English tourist in a Cairo bazaar...

An English tourist in a Cairo bazaar was offered a large skull by a street-trader. "Dis de skull of great Queen Cleopatra, effendi," said the Egyptian, "only one hundred English pounds."

"No, thank you," said the Englishman. "It's far too expensive."

"How 'bout dis one, effendi?" said the street-trader, producing a small skull.

"Whose skull is that?"

"Dis de skull of great Queen Cleopatra when she was little girl!"

How many governments does it take to make an Egyptian happy?

I'll let you know when I find out...


Egyptian joke

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.

Fishy tales

Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?

Because he was stuck in denial.

Egyptian joke, Fishy tales

The egyptian man wouldnt admit he'd fallen in a river

I guess he was in de Nile

Egyptians are quite good at recognizing conmen.

They're not falling for that pyramid scheme business again.

Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to.....

They are always in denial.

Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

To get to the other side.

You can explore egyptian pharoah reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean egyptian tutankhamen dad jokes. There are also egyptian puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


In Egypt they started throwing gay people in the river, an Egyptian friend of mine swears he isn't gay.

But he's still in the Nile.

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis

(If you don't get it, say it slower.)

I was offered a job building Egyptian tombs

Turned out to be a pyramid scheme

Why are Egyptian saxophonists all such good friends?

They've got a "toot in common."

What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?

Hey we have a toot in common.

Egyptian joke, What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?

Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.

The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"

Did you guys hear about that Egyptian con-artist?

Turns out he was running a pyramid scheme all along.

The Egyptian man became a bone doctor...

They called him a Cairopractor


Two guys got lost in the Egyptian desert

Both christians, one named John and the other named Thomas. They were starving and about to collapse when they spotted a Mosque, They rushed there for help. The Imam came out and asked for their names, John came up with 'Abdullah' in a panic and Thomas just said his name. The Imam hastily told the patrons to give Thomas food and water. While John had to wait and finish his fast.

What do you call an Egyptian spine manipulator?

A Cairo-practor

2 Egyptians noticed their farts smelled the same.

They had a Tutankhamen.

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

What do you call an inexperienced Egyptian God?

Anoobis

What do you call an Egyptian back-doctor?

A Cairo-practor.

An Egyptian man won't accept that he is a bad swimmer, so he jumped into the river...

He's still in the Nile.

All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

Why was the Egyptian kid confused?

Because his daddy was a mummy

What do you call an egyptian god with a photographic memory?

Cam-Ra

I keep having bad dreams about an ancient Egyptian mummy attacking me while I'm cooking. I call them my...

Rameses kitchen nightmares.

An old Egyptian pharaoh drowned himself when he learned the new, younger pharaoh was taking over...

He was in denial.

My Egyptian friend just couldn't believe he was drowning...

turns out he was in de-Nile

What do you call an Egyptian god who sucks at CS:GO?

A-noob-is.

Why do Egyptians shave their heads?

To make them more pharaoh-dynamic

What did one Egyptian say to the other when they farted at the same time?

Looks like we've got a Tutankhamen.

What do you call an Egyptian chef?

Gordon Ramses.

What is it called when an Egyptian scams you?

A pyramid scheme.

Tesla is considering releasing a line of electric buses named after Egyptian gods.

It'll be A-new-bus.

Why do Egyptians never believe they're drowning?

They're in de Nile

I received a call from a man trying to sell shares in Egyptian property.

Sounded like a pyramid scheme.

Where do Egyptians go when their backs hurt?

The Cairo-practor

What is the first stage of grief for an Egyptian?

Denile.

What do you call an Egyptian Pharaoh who rarely farts?

Toot-uncommon!

How do Egyptians get to work?

They use a new bus!

Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a successful stone quarry business?

Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.

What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?

They become mummies.

Did you hear about the Egyptian who refused to accept that he was drowning?

He was in denial

An Egyptian farmer refuses to believe his fields had flooded...

He was in De Nile.

Why shouldn't you work for an Egyptian company?

They're all pyramid schemes

Why cant Egyptian crocodiles get through the 5 stages of grief?

They keep getting stuck in de Nile

A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.

The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.

One of my favorite old Egyptian Jokes

There was some men gathered together, one of them said "if you're scared of your wife, move to the left a couple steps"
Everyone moved except one. So he asked the one guy "why didn't you move?"
He said "my wife told me stay put in this spot."

What do you call an Egyptian physical therapist?

A Cairopractor

What do you call an Egyptian who adjusts spines?

A cairo-practor

Egyptian babies didn't know that one day their daddy would become a mummy

Neither did the kardashians

I want to open a restaurant that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine

I call it "Wok like an Egyptian".

Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"

Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, up to a point."

What do you call an Egyptian doctor who fixes back problems?

A Cairo-practor!

A team of Swiss archaeologists discovered a new tomb in the middle of the Egyptian desert

They uncovered the tomb, and entered its dark cobweb-filled caverns. After digging and digging, they reached the center of the tomb, a burial chamber filled with treasures.

And at the center of the chamber, a sarcophagus made of pure gold. And once they opened it, they found an unnamed body, in pristine condition, surrounded by a curious combination of chocolate, hazelnuts and wafers.

They decided to call him Pharoah Rocher.

What is one thing that Egyptian kids do not realise?

That their Daddies will eventually become Mummies...

Where do Egyptians go when people keep doubting them?

Into de-Nile

Found an old joke from a 1953 newspaper: What do naughty Egyptian girls become?

Mummies, I guess.

Never invest in Egyptian archaeology

It's a pyramid scheme

What do you call a sick Egyptian?

Sir Cough-a-gus

What did the Egyptian say when he fell out of his boat?

I'm in denial

Need advice

A bit hesitant to invest my money into this dubious Egyptian real estate company.

I am afraid it might be a pyramide scheme.

You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.

They have a mummy-back guarantee!

What do the Egyptians and Kardashians have in common?

Their daddies became mummies

What does the Egyptian Santa Clause say when he enters a child's house?

I come bearing glyphs

Where were the Egyptians during the flood?

In de-nile

Famous Egyptian 19th Dynasty chef

Gordon Ramses II

My Egyptian friend and I have the exact same farts

Toot in common

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the egyptian cairopractor jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working egyptian tut piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes