Egypt Jokes
132 egypt jokes and hilarious egypt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about egypt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Curious about Egypt? Get your fix of silly and good laughs with these Egypt jokes! Read about the prince of Egypt, ancient Egyptian gods, and the Pharaoh of the Nile. Have a good chuckle with these jokes while learning a bit of Egypt's history!
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Funniest Egypt Short Jokes
Short egypt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The egypt humour may include short pharaoh jokes also.
- The only reason there are pyramids in Egypt is because they are too heavy to be carried to the british Museum
- Why the great pyramid are in Egypt? Because they were to heavy too carry of to the British museum.
- A friend of mine recently got offered a job in Egypt. Turns out it was just a pyramid scheme.
- I'm going on holiday to Egypt. A coworker told me it can get up to 100 degrees in the shade... ...I'll be staying out of the shade then.
- It's been 5 months since my best friend drowned in a river in Egypt. ....and he's still in denial.
- The U.S. election results delay is pathetic In Egypt, we know who won before the elections.
- I recently learned that humans farts have sounded the same since ancient Egypt. We share a toot in common.
- Two Rastafarians go to the river in Egypt and one of them gets in and says "Ey, mon, me not get wet"; his friend replies "Ya right, mon, you in denial"
- I visited a strange, small shop on my trip to Egypt... They had some really weird goods for sale. Honestly, the whole thing was just a little bazaar.
- In Egypt they require a priest to be at every airport 24/7 to bless the planes down in Africa
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Egypt One Liners
Which egypt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with egypt? I can suggest the ones about ancient egypt and denial.
- Why are the pyramids located in Egypt? They were too big to transport to England.
- Why is Donald Trump moving to Egypt? To live in a state of de Nile.
- There isn't a lot of water in Egypt. And if you disagree, you're in the Nile.
- What is the most common line you will read in a British museum? "Made in Egypt."
- I'm canoeing in Sudan, not Egypt - my map must be wrong I guess I'm just in denial
- They won't admit the Egypt flight crashed... ...because they're all in *da nile.*
- What do you call small rivers in Egypt? Juveniles
- What was the biggest scam in Ancient Egypt? A Pyramid Scheme.
- Why did you go to Egypt for honeymoon? To make the wife a mummy.
- Why did the pharoah go to the dentist? Because egypt his tooth.
- Crocodiles in Egypt will never admit to being in love... They all live in de-Nile
- My friend just went to Egypt He had a break up and now he's in denial
- I hurt my back in Egypt. It got so bad I had to see a Cairopractor.
- My friend fell in a river in Egypt last week, but swears he didn't. He's in De Nile.
- When it comes to climate change Denial ain't just a dry patch of sand in Egypt
Ancient Egypt Jokes
Here is a list of funny ancient egypt jokes and even better ancient egypt puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Excuse me, are you interested in courses on ancient Egypt? I promise it's not a pyramid scheme.
- Ancient Egypt must have been super progressive I mean, all their daddies ended up turning into mummies.
- A man in ancient Egypt commits a crime. The Pharaoh says "The penalty for your crime is death." "How would like to die?" "Death by old age"
- Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt People write on walls, use emojis, and worship cats.
- Why was kid afraid of his mother in ancient Egypt? Because she's mummy
- Why did the ancient Mesopotamian woman have a lot of kids? Every man in Egypt had seen her Fertile Crescent.
- What famous model controlled water in ancient Egypt palaces? Pharaoh Faucet
- In ancient Egypt when Men decided to abandon their families... They would say they were going out for ziggurats and never return.
- Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt? Pyramid schemes.
- Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt... Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Prince Of Egypt Jokes
Here is a list of funny prince of egypt jokes and even better prince of egypt puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got an email from from someone claiming to be a Pharaoh prince asking for money. Pretty sure I got... Egypt
Howlingly Hilarious Egypt Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about egypt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pyramid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make egypt pranks.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
How do Egyptians warn each other about a spreading fire?
Pyroglyphs.
The egyptian man wouldnt admit he'd fallen in a river
I guess he was in de Nile
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Egyptians are quite good at recognizing conmen.
They're not falling for that pyramid scheme business again.
So there's apparently been over 200, well preserved tibia excavated in the area surrounding the great pyramid in Egypt...
sources say it was a real shin dig.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to.....
They are always in denial.
Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?
To get to the other side.
My Egyptian friend's dad drowned yesterday...
He's still in denial.
Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?
Anubis
(If you don't get it, say it slower.)
A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride
The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from liverpool spoke. He said "we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!".
Why are Egyptian saxophonists all such good friends?
They've got a "toot in common."
How did the Egyptian go broke?
He got caught up in a pyramid scheme.
The Egyptian man became a bone doctor...
They called him a Cairopractor
In Israel, we just want peace.
A piece of Jordan, a piece of Egypt, a piece of Lebanon...
Two twins were separated at birth
One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. "I wish I could see the other one," she said. The adoption mother then said,
" If you've seen juan, you've seen jamal."
A man and his wife are touring Egypt.
While looking at the pyramids, a local merchant calls them over. He offers the man 100 camels in exchange for his wife. The man takes a few minutes, but ultimately refuses the offer and the two go on their way. A bit later the man's wife asks him, "What took you so long to say no?". The man replies, "I was trying to think of a way to bring 100 camels back home!"
my wife tried to tell me that I'm in denial...
So I told her to go back to school and learn geography because I'm standing nowhere near a river in Egypt
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 Egyptians noticed their farts smelled the same.
They had a Tutankhamen.
Did you guys see the score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer match?
Egypt 8 .. Ethiopia didn't
What did the school in Egypt finally get?
A new bus.
An Egyptian man won't accept that he is a bad swimmer, so he jumped into the river...
He's still in the Nile.
Man! Did anyone else see the result of the Egypt vs Ethopia soccer game?
Egypt: 8.
Ethopia: Didn't.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
Because his daddy was a mummy
A new discovery is made pertaining to the ethnicity of Ancient Egyptian Kings
Archaeologists have discovered that the kings of Ancient Egypt were in fact black. Upon unwrapping the gold sarcophagus they found the body of a dark chocolate skinned man. The legendary Pharaoh Rocher.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
(As told by "Jackie chan" while cooking my lunch on the hibachi grill)
The Egyptian kayaker who lost his paddle
just couldn't accept the fact that
he was stuck in de nile.
Breaking news! Due to heavy storms, all the rivers in Egypt are flooding.
The citizens of Cairo are still in denial
Match the middle eastern country to its sworn enemy...
- Bahrain
- Lebanon
- Qatar
- United Arab Emirates
- Egypt
- Syria
- Jordan
- Iran
- Iraq
- Saudi Arabia
- Algeria
- Morocco
- Yemen
- Oman
- Kuwait
1. Israel
An old Egyptian pharaoh drowned himself when he learned the new, younger pharaoh was taking over...
He was in denial.
A mummy was found in Egypt.
The archaeologists could not determine its origin. Then a Soviet adviser offered his help. The mummy was delivered to the Soviet embassy. In two hours the Soviet adviser appeared and said, "His name was Amenkhotep 23 rd."
"How did you find out?"
"He confessed," the advisor said.
My Egyptian friend just couldn't believe he was drowning...
turns out he was in de-Nile
I grew up in Egypt and was thrown in a river as a baby, but I never believed it.
I was in denial.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why didn't the Egyptian woman think she was pretty?
Because she was in denial.
I found out how to get buried cheaply in Egypt.
Send me $10 and I'll tell you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Jamaican who goes swimming in Egypt?
In denial
Me: Did you know that the fish in Egypt dont believe in global warming?
Friend: ....
Me: Yeah, they're in Da Nile
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens to Egyptians who don't believe?
They end up in deNILE
Why is an Egyptian tomb like a train whistle?
They have a toot in common.
An Egyptian man was sailing down a river
When his boat started to leak. He kept on rowing further down the river, whilst more and more water started to pour in. The man ignored the problem and just continued to sail down the river. Eventually his boat was nearly fully submerged and it quickly started to sink. The man refused to come to terms with his situation and just kept trying to row down the river.
He was in de Nile
Back in ancient Egypt, the standardized units of measurements were based off the length of the current pharoah's body parts. The pointer finger would be one unit of measurement, the forearm another, and so on.
It could be noted, the pharoah was the ruler.
Where did the Egyptians park when they visited King Arthur?
Camelot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Egyptians never believe they're drowning?
They're in de Nile
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's day?
They prefer mummies.
I got scammed by a market vendor in Cairo
Egypt me
Saudi Arabia won against Egypt in a Soccer match.
Egyptians had a better plan but Saudis had better execution.
My friend and I took a trip to Egypt. While we were sightseeing, he slipped and fell into a river. I told him he needs to get out as soon as possible but he refused to acknowledge his predicament.
He was in denial.
How do Egyptians get to work?
They use a new bus!
What do Egyptian men do when they get a divorce?
They find Anubitch
On a river rafting trip in Egypt, a couple began to sink. The husband urged his wife to swim to safety before the water got too deep, but she refused to believe she was in any danger.
She was too deep in de Nile.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
An Egyptian farmer refuses to believe his fields had flooded...
He was in De Nile.
The government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.
Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.
Why cant Egyptian crocodiles get through the 5 stages of grief?
They keep getting stuck in de Nile
Did you know the first trans people came from Egypt?
It was when daddy's became mummy's
My friend Victor is a historian
He invited me to a party at his house and started introducing me to all his colleagues.
This is Victor, he's a historian of the renaissance. The guy next to him is Victor Jr, he's a historian of ancient Egypt. And those two guys over there are Victor and Victor, they are doing great work on Mesopotamian farming practices.
I was like wow, history really is written by you guys huh?
Urgent news: A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archologist believe it maybe Pharaoh Roche...
Egyptian babies didn't know that one day their daddy would become a mummy
Neither did the kardashians
A Soviet archeology team is in Egypt on an expedition.
After some digging, they found a pyramid and a mummy inside it. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.
"The mummy is Amenhotep XIII" says one of the NKVD goons.
"How did you find out?" asks one of the archeologists.
"He admitted it", replies the NKVD goon.
When are Egyptian fishermen less likely to believe what their are told?
When they're in the Nile.
Where do Egyptians go when people keep doubting them?
Into de-Nile
I saw an Egyptian not accepting his responsibilities
He was in de-Nile to say the least
An Egyptian pharaoh hired me to lay flooring at a tomb he was building. He said it wouldn't pay well at first but as I worked my way to the top I would reap the benefits. it wasn't quite a pyramid scheme
But it was multi level carpeting.
