The Best 70 Egypt Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Egypt jokes. There are some egypt nile jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these egypt cairo puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Egypt Jokes and Puns
A woman has twins...
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '
Egyptian joke
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.
Why did the pharoah go to the dentist?
Because egypt his tooth.
The egyptian man wouldnt admit he'd fallen in a river
I guess he was in de Nile
A friend of mine recently got offered a job in Egypt.
Turns out it was just a pyramid scheme.
Egyptians are quite good at recognizing conmen.
They're not falling for that pyramid scheme business again.
Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to.....
They are always in denial.
Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?
To get to the other side.
In Egypt they started throwing gay people in the river, an Egyptian friend of mine swears he isn't gay.
But he's still in the Nile.
Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?
Anubis
(If you don't get it, say it slower.)
A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride
The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from Liverpool spoke. He said "we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!".
You can explore egypt ahmal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean egypt mubarak dad jokes. There are also egypt puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why are Egyptian saxophonists all such good friends?
They've got a "toot in common."
What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?
Hey we have a toot in common.
The Egyptian man became a bone doctor...
They called him a Cairopractor
They won't admit the Egypt flight crashed...
...because they're all in *da nile.*
Two twins were separated at birth
One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. "I wish I could see the other one," she said. The adoption mother then said,
" If you've seen juan, you've seen jamal."
A man and his wife are touring Egypt.
While looking at the pyramids, a local merchant calls them over. He offers the man 100 camels in exchange for his wife. The man takes a few minutes, but ultimately refuses the offer and the two go on their way. A bit later the man's wife asks him, "What took you so long to say no?". The man replies, "I was trying to think of a way to bring 100 camels back home!"
my wife tried to tell me that I'm in denial...
So I told her to go back to school and learn geography because I'm standing nowhere near a river in Egypt
2 Egyptians noticed their farts smelled the same.
They had a Tutankhamen.
Excuse me, are you interested in courses on ancient Egypt?
I promise it's not a pyramid scheme.
Did you guys see the score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer match?
Egypt 8 .. Ethiopia didn't
Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?
They're always in de Nile.
An Egyptian man won't accept that he is a bad swimmer, so he jumped into the river...
He's still in the Nile.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
Because his daddy was a mummy
I just found out that Archeologist were recently digging in the Pyramids of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
Experts on site identified the mummy as Pharaoh Roche.
Two Rastafarians go to the river in Egypt and one of them gets in and says "Ey, mon, me not get wet"; his friend replies
"Ya right, mon, you in denial"
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
(As told by "Jackie chan" while cooking my lunch on the hibachi grill)
There isn't a lot of water in Egypt.
And if you disagree, you're in the Nile.
I was having a lot of back pain in Egypt
So I called the cairopractor
Match the middle eastern country to its sworn enemy...
- Bahrain
- Lebanon
- Qatar
- United Arab Emirates
- Egypt
- Syria
- Jordan
- Iran
- Iraq
- Saudi Arabia
- Algeria
- Morocco
- Yemen
- Oman
- Kuwait
1. Israel
It's been 5 months since my best friend drowned in a river in Egypt.
....and he's still in denial.
BREAKING NEWS!
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate & hazelnuts, and believe it to be Pharoah Rocher.
I'm going on holiday to Egypt. A coworker told me it can get up to 100 degrees in the shade...
...I'll be staying out of the shade then.
An old Egyptian pharaoh drowned himself when he learned the new, younger pharaoh was taking over...
He was in denial.
A mummy was found in Egypt.
The archaeologists could not determine its origin. Then a Soviet adviser offered his help. The mummy was delivered to the Soviet embassy. In two hours the Soviet adviser appeared and said, "His name was Amenkhotep 23 rd."
"How did you find out?"
"He confessed," the advisor said.
My Egyptian friend just couldn't believe he was drowning...
turns out he was in de-Nile
I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning.
Turned out to be a pyramid scheme
Archaeologists have recently found a mummy while excavating a tomb in Egypt
Oddly enough, the mummy was covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. They believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Rosher.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What did one Egyptian say to the other when they farted at the same time?
Looks like we've got a Tutankhamen.
Breaking news from Egypt: they found a tomb covered in chocolate and nuts.
They said it was a Pharaoh Rocher.
Why did you go to Egypt for honeymoon?
To make the wife a mummy.
What do you call a Jamaican who goes swimming in Egypt?
In denial
Me: Did you know that the fish in Egypt dont believe in global warming?
Friend: ....
Me: Yeah, they're in Da Nile
I hurt my back in Egypt.
It got so bad I had to see a Cairopractor.
I'm canoeing in Sudan, not Egypt - my map must be wrong
I guess I'm just in denial
Back in ancient Egypt, the standardized units of measurements were based off the length of the current pharoah's body parts. The pointer finger would be one unit of measurement, the forearm another, and so on.
It could be noted, the pharoah was the ruler.
What do you call small rivers in Egypt?
Juveniles
Where do Egyptians go when their backs hurt?
The Cairo-practor
My friend and I took a trip to Egypt. While we were sightseeing, he slipped and fell into a river. I told him he needs to get out as soon as possible but he refused to acknowledge his predicament.
He was in denial.
How do Egyptians get to work?
They use a new bus!
A first place winner at the International Pun Contest
A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
Archeologists in Egypt have discovered a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts.
They believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
An Egyptian farmer refuses to believe his fields had flooded...
He was in De Nile.
The government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.
Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.
What was the biggest scam in Ancient Egypt?
A Pyramid Scheme.
Crocodiles in Egypt will never admit to being in love...
They all live in de-Nile
Why cant Egyptian crocodiles get through the 5 stages of grief?
They keep getting stuck in de Nile
I visited a strange, small shop on my trip to Egypt...
They had some really weird goods for sale. Honestly, the whole thing was just a little bazaar.
Twins
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
My friend just went to Egypt
He had a break up and now he's in denial
Urgent news: A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archologist believe it maybe Pharaoh Roche...
The U.S. election results delay is pathetic
In Egypt, we know who won before the elections.
Why is Donald Trump moving to Egypt?
To live in a state of de Nile.
Egyptian babies didn't know that one day their daddy would become a mummy
Neither did the kardashians
A Soviet archeology team is in Egypt on an expedition.
After some digging, they found a pyramid and a mummy inside it. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.
"The mummy is Amenhotep XIII" says one of the NKVD goons.
"How did you find out?" asks one of the archeologists.
"He admitted it", replies the NKVD goon.
When are Egyptian fishermen less likely to believe what their are told?
When they're in the Nile.
Where do Egyptians go when people keep doubting them?
Into de-Nile
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the egypt cleopatra jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working egypt egyptian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.