Egypt Jokes
135 egypt jokes and hilarious egypt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about egypt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Curious about Egypt? Get your fix of silly and good laughs with these Egypt jokes! Read about the prince of Egypt, ancient Egyptian gods, and the Pharaoh of the Nile. Have a good chuckle with these jokes while learning a bit of Egypt's history!
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Funniest Egypt Short Jokes
Short egypt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The egypt humour may include short pharaoh jokes also.
- Why are there pyramids in Egypt? They were too heavy to steal and put in a british museum.
- The only reason there are pyramids in Egypt is because they are too heavy to be carried to the British Museum
- Why are the Great Pyramids in Egypt? Because they're too heavy and big to take to the British Museum
- Why the great pyramid are in Egypt? Because they were to heavy too carry of to the British museum.
- They've unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts The mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher
- I just found out that Archeologist were recently digging in the Pyramids of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts. Experts on site identified the mummy as Pharaoh Roche.
- Archeologists in Egypt have discovered a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. They believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.
- Egyptian joke A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.
- A friend of mine recently got offered a job in Egypt. Turns out it was just a pyramid scheme.
- I'm going on holiday to Egypt. A coworker told me it can get up to 100 degrees in the shade... ...I'll be staying out of the shade then.
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Egypt One Liners
Which egypt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with egypt? I can suggest the ones about ancient egypt and denial.
- Why are the pyramids located in Egypt? They were too big to transport to England.
- Why are the great pyramids in Egypt? The British couldn't fit them on their ships.
- Why is Donald Trump moving to Egypt? To live in a state of de Nile.
- I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning. Turned out to be a pyramid scheme
- There isn't a lot of water in Egypt. And if you disagree, you're in the Nile.
- Why are there pyramids in Egypt? They are too heavy to carry to the British Museum.
- Why are the pyramids in Egypt? Because they wouldn't fit in the British Museum.
- What is the most common line you will read in a British museum? "Made in Egypt."
- Why are there pyramids in Egypt? Because they're too heavy to carry to England.
- I'm canoeing in Sudan, not Egypt - my map must be wrong I guess I'm just in denial
- They won't admit the Egypt flight crashed... ...because they're all in *da nile.*
- What do you call small rivers in Egypt? Juveniles
- What was the biggest scam in Ancient Egypt? A Pyramid Scheme.
- Why did you go to Egypt for honeymoon? To make the wife a mummy.
- I was having a lot of back pain in Egypt So I called the cairopractor
Ancient Egypt Jokes
Here is a list of funny ancient egypt jokes and even better ancient egypt puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I recently learned that humans farts have sounded the same since ancient Egypt. We share a toot in common.
- Excuse me, are you interested in courses on ancient Egypt? I promise it's not a pyramid scheme.
- Ancient Egypt must have been super progressive I mean, all their daddies ended up turning into mummies.
- A man in ancient Egypt commits a crime. The Pharaoh says "The penalty for your crime is death." "How would like to die?" "Death by old age"
- Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt People write on walls, use emojis, and worship cats.
- Why was kid afraid of his mother in ancient Egypt? Because she's mummy
- Why did the ancient Mesopotamian woman have a lot of kids? Every man in Egypt had seen her Fertile Crescent.
- What famous model controlled water in ancient Egypt palaces? Pharaoh Faucet
- In ancient Egypt when Men decided to abandon their families... They would say they were going out for ziggurats and never return.
- Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt? Pyramid schemes.
Good Egypt Jokes
Here is a list of funny good egypt jokes and even better good egypt puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I visited a strange, small shop on my trip to Egypt... They had some really weird goods for sale. Honestly, the whole thing was just a little bazaar.
Prince Of Egypt Jokes
Here is a list of funny prince of egypt jokes and even better prince of egypt puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got an email from from someone claiming to be a Pharaoh prince asking for money. Pretty sure I got... Egypt
- Got an email from a Pharaoh prince asking for money. I wonder if I'm getting... Egypt
Howlingly Hilarious Egypt Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about egypt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pyramid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make egypt pranks.
Why can't they teach drivers ed on the same day as s**... ed in Egypt?
Wears out the camel.
A woman has twins...
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '
Why did the pharoah go to the dentist?
Because egypt his tooth.
The egyptian man wouldnt admit he'd fallen in a river
I guess he was in de Nile
Egyptians are quite good at recognizing conmen.
They're not falling for that pyramid scheme business again.
Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to.....
They are always in denial.
Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?
To get to the other side.
In Egypt they started throwing gay people in the river, an Egyptian friend of mine swears he isn't gay.
But he's still in the Nile.
Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?
Anubis
(If you don't get it, say it slower.)
A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride
The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from liverpool spoke. He said "we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!".
Why are Egyptian saxophonists all such good friends?
They've got a "toot in common."
What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both f**...?
Hey we have a toot in common.
The Egyptian man became a bone doctor...
They called him a Cairopractor
Two twins were separated at birth
One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. "I wish I could see the other one," she said. The adoption mother then said,
" If you've seen juan, you've seen jamal."
A man and his wife are touring Egypt.
While looking at the pyramids, a local merchant calls them over. He offers the man 100 camels in exchange for his wife. The man takes a few minutes, but ultimately refuses the offer and the two go on their way. A bit later the man's wife asks him, "What took you so long to say no?". The man replies, "I was trying to think of a way to bring 100 camels back home!"
my wife tried to tell me that I'm in denial...
So I told her to go back to school and learn geography because I'm standing nowhere near a river in Egypt
2 Egyptians noticed their farts smelled the same.
They had a Tutankhamen.
Did you guys see the score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer match?
Egypt 8 .. Ethiopia didn't
Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?
They're always in de Nile.
An Egyptian man won't accept that he is a bad swimmer, so he jumped into the river...
He's still in the Nile.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
Because his daddy was a mummy
Two Rastafarians go to the river in Egypt and one of them gets in and says "Ey, mon, me not get wet"; his friend replies
"Ya right, mon, you in denial"
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
(As told by "Jackie chan" while cooking my lunch on the hibachi grill)
Match the middle eastern country to its sworn enemy...
- Bahrain
- Lebanon
- Qatar
- United Arab Emirates
- Egypt
- Syria
- Jordan
- Iran
- Iraq
- Saudi Arabia
- Algeria
- Morocco
- Yemen
- Oman
- Kuwait
1. Israel
It's been 5 months since my best friend drowned in a river in Egypt.
....and he's still in denial.
BREAKING NEWS!
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate & hazelnuts, and believe it to be Pharoah Rocher.
An old Egyptian pharaoh drowned himself when he learned the new, younger pharaoh was taking over...
He was in denial.
A mummy was found in Egypt.
The archaeologists could not determine its origin. Then a Soviet adviser offered his help. The mummy was delivered to the Soviet embassy. In two hours the Soviet adviser appeared and said, "His name was Amenkhotep 23 rd."
"How did you find out?"
"He confessed," the advisor said.
My Egyptian friend just couldn't believe he was drowning...
turns out he was in de-Nile
Archaeologists have recently found a mummy while excavating a tomb in Egypt
Oddly enough, the mummy was covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. They believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Rosher.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What did one Egyptian say to the other when they f**... at the same time?
Looks like we've got a Tutankhamen.
Breaking news from Egypt: they found a tomb covered in chocolate and nuts.
They said it was a Pharaoh Rocher.
What do you call a Jamaican who goes swimming in Egypt?
In denial
Me: Did you know that the fish in Egypt dont believe in global warming?
Friend: ....
Me: Yeah, they're in Da Nile
I hurt my back in Egypt.
It got so bad I had to see a Cairopractor.
Back in ancient Egypt, the standardized units of measurements were based off the length of the current pharoah's body parts. The pointer finger would be one unit of measurement, the forearm another, and so on.
It could be noted, the pharoah was the ruler.
Why do Egyptians never believe they're drowning?
They're in de Nile
Saudi Arabia won against Egypt in a Soccer match.
Egyptians had a better plan but Saudis had better execution.
Where do Egyptians go when their backs hurt?
The Cairo-practor
My friend and I took a trip to Egypt. While we were sightseeing, he slipped and fell into a river. I told him he needs to get out as soon as possible but he refused to acknowledge his predicament.
He was in denial.
How do Egyptians get to work?
They use a new bus!
On a river rafting trip in Egypt, a couple began to sink. The husband urged his wife to swim to safety before the water got too deep, but she refused to believe she was in any danger.
She was too deep in de Nile.
A first place winner at the International Pun Contest
A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
An Egyptian farmer refuses to believe his fields had flooded...
He was in De Nile.
The government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.
Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.
Crocodiles in Egypt will never admit to being in love...
They all live in de-Nile
Why cant Egyptian crocodiles get through the 5 stages of grief?
They keep getting stuck in de Nile
Twins
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
The twins
A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up
for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of
Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've
seen Ahmal."
My friend just went to Egypt
He had a break up and now he's in denial
Urgent news: A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archologist believe it maybe Pharaoh Roche...
The U.S. election results delay is pathetic
In Egypt, we know who won before the elections.
Egyptian babies didn't know that one day their daddy would become a mummy
Neither did the kardashians
A Soviet archeology team is in Egypt on an expedition.
After some digging, they found a pyramid and a mummy inside it. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.
"The mummy is Amenhotep XIII" says one of the NKVD goons.
"How did you find out?" asks one of the archeologists.
"He admitted it", replies the NKVD goon.
Where do Egyptians go when people keep doubting them?
Into de-Nile
What did the Egyptian say when he fell out of his boat?
I'm in denial
why are pyramids located in egypt?
they were too heavy for british people to steal and put in british museums
A Soviet archeology team is in Egypt on an expedition
They come across a pyramid and inside it is a mummy. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.
"The mummy is Amenhotep XIII" says one of the NKVD goons.
"How did you find out?" asks one of the archeologists.
"He admitted it", replies the NKVD goon.
The only reason why the Pyramids exist in Egypt...
....is because they were too heavy for British folks to steal and put in the British museum
