Ego Jokes
74 ego jokes and hilarious ego puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ego that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Have you ever heard of an Argentinian pilot who boasted about their ego but was then humbled by a clever rejoinder? Or what about the ever popular male ego booster jokes? This article looks into the humorousness of ego jokes, as well as the pitfalls of conceit. Read on to learn more about Richards' famous ego jokes and why having an intelligent sense of humour is key.
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Funniest Ego Short Jokes
Short ego jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ego humour may include short intelligent jokes also.
- They say I have an inflated Ego. I don't know what they mean. Got an inflatable castle for my kids,
and I guess they're just envious that I'm such a great father. - During our breakup, my ex said that my ego was way too big But I think it's one of the things that makes me so great
- I am considering making a balloon of my subconscious... But I'm afraid it will only inflate my ego...
- The Id, The Ego, and The Super Ego walk into a bar.... The Id, The Ego, and The Super Ego walk into a bar. No they didn't! Yes, they did! None of this even matters!
- Does one really suffer from having an inflated ego? ...or is it the greatest disease anyone could possibly ever have, ever?
- Why do people's personalities change so much after marriage? Because out comes their altar ego.
- The king's ego really took a hit when he couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again. His men were walking on eggshells.
- Before he was famous Biggie Smalls to friend: I'm the greatest rapper of all time. Nobody can match my skills. Not even you.
Friend: wow, big ego. - People say I have an ego problem I disagree. In fact, I think I am the most level-headed person in all of Earth.
- Donald Trump just tweeted he will build a Moon base and be the first person to step foot on the Moon again. I can hear it now... Houston this is Tranquility base the Ego has landed
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Ego One Liners
Which ego one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ego? I can suggest the ones about intellectual and narcissistic.
- An ego and a superego walk into a bar. The bartender says "I'll have to see some id"
- I just found my friend has a secret life as a priest It's his altar ego
- How does the pope refer to his secret superhero identity? It's his altar ego.
- Three words to ruin a man's ego...? Is it in?
- I lost my Id the other day. Well, at least I still have my Ego and Super Ego.
- What do you call a Superhero with a dentist alter ego? Plaque Panther
- If Blizzard pulls Overwatch off the market... Does that make the fans ego D.vastated?
- What did Sigmund Freud say when his patient wouldn't unhand his waffle? Leggo my ego!
- Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego... Inflated.
- I don't have an ego I'm just perfect
- If a priest is selfcenteret Would you say he has an alter ego?
- Big Ego Usually I have a big eggo, but I just wasn't in the mood for waffles today.
- I'd pat my own back but my ego is too busy shaking my hand.
- I'm trying to work on my ego... But it's hard if you're so awesome.
- three words that can ruin a man's ego: "Is that all"
Alter Ego Jokes
Here is a list of funny alter ego jokes and even better alter ego puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Iron Man were the household appliance, his alter ego would be Tony Starch. #ShowerThoughts
- What do you call Ralph Nader's alter ego? His alter-nader
- Some people have alter egos.
Chuck Norris has no such thing. - What do you call Shia LaBeouf's alter ego? Inertia.
Male Ego Jokes
Here is a list of funny male ego jokes and even better male ego puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why does it take more than a million sperms to fertilize one egg? 1) Female Ego...
Rejection without Reason!
2) Male Ego...
Won't Ask For Directions! - What's so fragile that even mentioning it breaks it? The male ego.
Hilarious Ego Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about ego you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean narcissist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ego pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends a farmer with a huge ego problem
All I did was ask where he was and he brags that he's out standing in his field
One I wrote a while ago: Anti-Boasting Cream
Now I don't tell many jokes and definitely don't write them so I found this on my phone from about two years ago and was amazed!
I went to see the Doctor this morning about my big ego. He told me to try this anti-boasting cream.
I said, how do I apply it? It's just i've got really soft, sensitive, supple skin. He said, You just have to rub it in.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my wife "Beware the Ides of March!"
I told my wife "Beware the Ides of March! I'm in the mood to do some stabbing from behind, if you know what I mean. "
She said, "I just might die of surprise if you make it to 23 stabs!"
So yeah, only my ego got murdered today.
Conversation at the breakfast table this morning.
Him: I shouldn't say I love you with all my heart. I should say, I love you with all my liver, since it's bigger.
Me: Then you should love me with all your ego.
Him: I don't love you that much.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are Americans so arrogant?
Because our national bird is the ego.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How Putin ruined the ego of swingers everywhere
Vladimir Putin: Some people say that group s**... is better than s**... as a pair - because I guess, like with any teamwork, one can dodge being good at it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My s**... life is exactly like my ego...
I always come first
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**...
If I'd ever want to commit s**..., I will jump off your ego to your elo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"If I wanted to commit s**...
"If I wanted to commit s**..., I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does an Argentinean commit s**...?
He climbs up on his ego and then jumps off.
Breaking bad has such a developing protagonist throughout the show
He develops quite the Walter ego
What made Walt turn into Heisenberg?
It was his Walter ego
What can you tell a potato to boost its ego?
What beautiful eyes and skin you have.
What did the arab with an ego have to say?
I-raq!
Compromising does not mean...
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
What's big but small?
A midget's ego.
I'm living a second life as a married man.
He's my altar ego
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy and a girl meet at a bar……
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.
The girl has been watching him and says:
"You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says: "Yes .... How did you figure that out?"
"Easy.." she replies, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing leads to another and they make love.
After it's over the girl says: "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with an inflated ego, says:
"Sure - I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?"
The girl replies:....
"Didn't feel a thing."
What did the spiritual waffle say to his apprentice?
Leggo your ego!
Your Ego is not....
your Amigo. . .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What should would i do if i wanted to commit s**...?
I'd jump from your ego to your IQ level
What's a ego maniac's favorite candy?
Air heads
Went golfing with my Grandpa yesterday..
We were on the 12th hole and I hit my tee shot a bit to the left. When we got to my ball there was a big 40ft tree right in my way and I was just going to hit around it when my grandpa chimed in:
"Ya know, when I was your age I could hit it right up and over that tree"
Well not to be outdone my ego took over and I grabbed my 9 iron to hit it right over that tree. I took my shot and *THWACK* the ball hit dead center of the tree and bounced back 30 yards behind me. That's when he chimes in again:
"Of course when I was your age that tree was only 2 feet tall!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sigmund Freud was a m**... with a huge ego
And id. And superego.
Why did the car have such a big ego?
It was too "fuel" of itself.
