Eggs Jokes
170 eggs jokes and hilarious eggs puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about eggs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends. We've covered all the best easter eggs jokes, deviled eggs jokes, bacon and eggs jokes.
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Funniest Eggs Short Jokes
Short eggs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eggs humour may include short egg drop jokes also.
- I'm assuming that none of the Jenners ask Kylie to make breakfast. Since she can't even beat an egg
- A computer programmer goes to buy some bread. On his way out, his wife says, "and while you're there, get a carton of eggs".
He never returned. - A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single." The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"
cashier: "Because you're ugly." - What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.
- Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. concrete floors are really hard to crack.
Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!" - A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".
- Give a man an egg and he'll eat for a day Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you're taking science too far.
- A man goes to a halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg. The answer is the chicken.
- I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken
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Eggs One Liners
Which eggs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eggs? I can suggest the ones about egg laying and chicken egg.
- I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today I'll let you know.
- Women have eggs and milk in them... And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
- I once had a hen that could count her own eggs She was a mathemachicken
- Why do French people eat small breakfasts One egg is an oeuf
- Actual joke dad said this morning waitress: How do you like your eggs?
dad: in a cake - Why don't eggs tell each other jokes? Because they would crack each other up
- Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg? Because in France one egg is un oeuf.
- What's the difference between a Redditor and egg? An egg gets laid
- I just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon. I'll let you know.
- I had a hen who could count her own eggs She was a mathamachicken
- Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf.
- Where does a socialist bird lay its eggs? In a communest
- When did Japanese start eating egg? A long tamago
- I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know what comes first.
- What tool do you use to open an egg? A hatchet
Easter Eggs Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter eggs jokes and even better easter eggs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter. I think I dyed a little inside.
- If you have Alzheimer's, look on the bright side… …at least you can hide your own easter Eggs.
- My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter... "You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."
- I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg so I said to him, 'Which is your favourite Christian festival?'
He replied 'Have to love Easter, baby.' - Why do easter eggs hide? Because they're little chickens.
- What's the best thing about having alzeimhers disease? You can hide your own easter eggs
- There are 3 perks of having Alzheimer 1. You can make new friends every day.
2. You can look for the Easter eggs you hid yourself.
3. You can make new friends every day. - You know what the best thing about Alzheimer's is? You can hide your own Easter eggs.
- Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter? It was an egg shell lent idea
- Doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news…" The bad news is that you have Alzheimer's.
The good news is now you can hide your own Easter eggs!
Lay Eggs Jokes
Here is a list of funny lay eggs jokes and even better lay eggs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A chicken and an egg are laying in bed... When the chicken sits up, lights a cigar and says " Well I guess that answers that question."
- What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill? Egg rolls.
- TIL there is a rooster that lays eggs. The breed is Himalayan.
- What sound do French chickens make when they lay eggs? OEUF!
- What breed of roosters lay eggs Himalayan.
- A chicken and an egg lay in bed smoking cigarettes. The egg says, "well, that answers that old question."
- Why do chickens lay eggs? To confuse philosophers.
- What does an evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs
- Asked a hen how many eggs it lays daily? It said: two eggs
I said: Oh strange!
It said: what's strange? the fact that I lay two eggs?
I said: no, the fact that you talk - What do you call it when all the hens in the coup resign the same day from their jobs laying eggs? Chicken tenders.
Laying Eggs Jokes
Here is a list of funny laying eggs jokes and even better laying eggs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you give to a female fish that has trouble laying her eggs? a SEA-section
- You Know It's Hot When ... Cows are giving evaporated milk ...
Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs ...
Catfish are already fried when caught ...
Jehovah Witnesses start telemarketing ... - What kind of eggs do evil hens lay? Deviled eggs!
- A chicken and an egg are laying in bed together The egg is smoking a cigarette. It turns to the chicken and says " I guess that answers that question"
- What did the French ostrich say after laying a 4lb egg? Big oeuf
- The chicken and the egg lay in bed together sharing a cigarette... The chicken turns to the egg and says, "well, I guess we answered that one."
- Why did the chicken lay its egg on the mountain? It wanted to make an egg-roll.
- My chickens were laying to many eggs so I had to sell their coop. They now have a chicken sedan.
- What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs
- What sound does a French hen make when it lays an egg? Oeuf.
Scrambled Eggs Jokes
Here is a list of funny scrambled eggs jokes and even better scrambled eggs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I decided to have scrambled eggs this morning... Immediately after thinking "I'll just flip this omelette."
- Do egg jokes crack you up? Or do they make you scramble away... omelette you think about it...
- My step sis asked me to bring her something hard to write on... Idk why she's so mad, it's really hard to write on scrambled eggs.
- What do you call this? esgg
egsg
gseg
segg
Scrambled eggs. - Two eggs were talking in secret codes until they were scrambled
- Sgeg Anyone for scrambled eggs?
- I've never made scrambled eggs before but I thought I'd wisk it.
- Guy who hasn't seen his Girlfriend since lock-down, phoned her. Guy: Hi babe hows the diet going.?
Her: Not good, I had eggs for breakfast.
Guy: Scrambled.?
Her: No, Cadbury's. - Do you like eggs? I have them in the morning with my toast.
Sometimes sunny side up, sometimes scrambled, sometimes over easy.
I think they're eggsellent. - What is white, loud, and ruins your scrambled egg? An avalanche.
Deviled Eggs Jokes
Here is a list of funny deviled eggs jokes and even better deviled eggs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you cure a deviled egg? Call an eggsorcist!
- What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs!
- Deviled eggs? Is that some kind of cruel yolk?
- What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
Deviled eggs. - What did satan worshippers have for breakfast? Devilled eggs!
- What's Satan favorite food? Deviled eggs.
- What did the wicked chicken lay? A deviled egg. Hmath out.
- What do you call deviled eggs served by a p**...? w**...-d'oeuvres
Amusing & Witty Eggs Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about eggs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fried egg jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eggs pranks.
Which one doesn't belong: eggs, your wife, or a b**...?
The b**.... You can beat your eggs and your wife but you can't beat a b**....
Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs?
Because one egg is un oeuf.
Two eggs and a piece of bacon walk into a bar
The bartender asks them to leave. They all ask why. Bartender says, "We don't serve breakfast here."
There's a drunk guy in line at the grocery store...
The woman in front of him has a block of cheddar cheese, a half gallon of milk, and a dozen eggs.
He stumbles up to her and says, "Why, you must be single!"
Rather surprised, she looks at him and replies, "Yes, I am single! You could tell that just from what I'm buying?"
Without missing a beat, the drunk guy says, "No, it's 'cause you're f**...' ugly!"
A programmer
goes to do groceries. His wife tell him:
-- Buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, buy a dozen.
He comes back with thirteen loaves of bread.
-- But why?, she asks.
-- They had eggs.
An older couple is watching tv...
And the man stands up and says, "I'm going to the kitchen. Do you want anything?"
His wife answers, "yes, please get me some chocolate ice cream with sprinkes."
The man starts to leave, when his wife says, "Honey, are you sure you don't want to write that down, your doctor said you may need to in order to remember."
"no, no, I'm sure I'll remember what you asked for."
A few minutes later, he returns with fried eggs and toast.
His wife says, "well, see, you did need to write that down. You completely forgot my bacon!"
Do you know how to make Notre Dame style eggs?
You put them in a bowl way too big for it...and then beat repeatedly for 3 hours
Two eggs and a s**... of bacon walk into a bar
The bartender looks at them and says, "Sorry - we don't serve breakfast here."
Mother's Day
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."
A woman says to her engineer husband...
"Could you please go to the store for me and buy a carton of milk. And if they have eggs, get six."
A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk. The wife asks, "Why the heck did you buy six cartons of milk?"
"They had eggs."
I was walking down the road...
...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me.
I thought, "How dairy!".
So a woman is at a supermarket...
She is loading all her items on the conveyer belt for the chasier to scan.
Her items are; A litre of milk, a carton of eggs, and a head of lettuce.
The cashier looks at her and says, "Are you single?"
The customer, shocked at her assumption says, "Yes, I am. How did you know?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."
Married mathematicians deciding what to get from the store.
A husband and wife are mathematicians. Husband asks the wife if she needs anything from the store. She looks in the fridge and says she needs eggs.
"How many?" he asks standing right next to her.
She yells, "4!".
He wonders for a moment why she yelled, figures it out and comes back with two dozen.
A programmers wife tells him...
A programmers wife tells him: Run to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.
The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread...
A woman goes to a supermarket
A woman goes to a supermarket. After gathering her items, she goes to the checkout counter.
The cashier looks at the items she bought: a jug of milk, a carton of eggs, & a head of lettuce
The cashier says "You must be single"
The woman says "Oh my god, how did you know?"
The cashier responds:
"Because you're ugly."
Eggs
A couple were married for 25yrs. One day while cleaning their room, she finds a box hidden inside his closet and decides to open it with the thought that her husband is keeping a secret to her. In the box she finds 3 eggs and 10 grand.
This seems very strange so she went to him and asks:
"Why are there 3 eggs in a box in your closet?"
"Well, dear," the husband replies, "everytime I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box."
She's hurt that he had been unfaithful but consoles herself with the fact that they have been married for 25yrs and he had only been unfaithful 3 times.
Wife asks: "Where did the 10 grand come from?"
With head bowed down he answers: "Everytime it reaches a dozen, I sell them!"
A Software Programmer is going to the store.....
His wife says "get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen."
The guy comes back with 12 loaves of bread.
His wife says "why did you get so much bread?"
He says, "they had eggs.
A programmers wife asks him to go to the grocery
She says "Get a gallon of milk. If they have eggs, get 12."
The programmer returns with 12 gallons of milk.
A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...
When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.
Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".
He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"
A programmer heads to the shops
His wife says "grab a loaf of bread and if they have eggs get a dozen"
He comes home with twelve loaves of bread.
A wife sends her programmer husband to the grocery store for a loaf of bread...
On his way out she says "and if they have eggs, get a dozen". The programmer husband returns home with 12 loaves of bread....
It's Easter Sunday morning...
... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walks in, sees all the colored eggs, then storms outside and kills the peacock.
A programmer went to go grocery shopping.
A programmer went to go grocery shopping. He called his wife and asked what was needed.
His wife said: "You need to get 2 loaves of bread. Oh, and also, if there's eggs, buy a dozen."
So he came home with a dozen loaves of bread.
Muslims are a lot like breakfast eggs.
If they aren't Sunni side up, they're probably Shiite.
The wife
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
Egg timer
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.
"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"
"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."
What does the fat cow give you?
Teacher: "Kids,what does the little chicken give you?"
Student: "Eggs!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the squealy pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Toast at a Wedding
"May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live." That's an Irish toast.
"Cinnamon, eggs, bread, and maple syrup." That's a French toast.
A woman asks her husband, a programmer, to go shopping.
Wife: Dear, please, go to the nearby grocery store to buy some bread. Also, if they have eggs, buy 6.
Husband: O.K., hun.
Twenty minutes later the husband comes back bringing 6 loaves of bread. His wife is flabbergasted.
Wife: Dear, why on earth did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
Husband: They had eggs.
A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide us...
She said, "What does a chicken give us?" and the students replied, "Eggs". She then asked, "What does a pig give us?" and the students replied a joyous "Bacon". Finally she asked "What does a cow give us?" and before anyone could answer little Johnny said "Homework".
Joke provided by my ten year old son.
A woman is shopping at a grocery store.
She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".
My grandpa would always tell me...
that when he was growing up, in rural Texas, his momma would give him $1 and send him down to the store. He'd come back with 2 loaves of bread, half a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and a pound of pork. He says you can't do that now-a-days, way too many security cameras.
A boy goes to the circus
and one of the sideshows is a tent that says "Man Who Remembers Everything." Intrigued, the boy goes inside and sees an old Native American man sitting on the ground. He approaches the man and asks, "If you remember everything, what did you have for breakfast exactly three weeks ago?"
Without hesitation, the man responds, "Eggs." The boy is sufficiently impressed and leaves to enjoy the rest of the circus.
Many years later, the boy has grown up, gotten married, and had children. One day he takes his family to the circus and is shocked to see the Man Who Remembers Everything is still there. He brings his family into the tent, and there is the same old man sitting on the ground.
Excited to see the old man again, he walks up and greets him, "How!"
The old man looks into his eyes and replies, "Scrambled."
My girlfriend asked me why I was sitting with the eggs...
I couldn't find my whisk, and if you can't beat them, you might as well join them...
A woman is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The male cashier says: "You must be single."
He got fired.
A programmer's wife
A programmer's wife says: "go to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."
He returns with 12 loaves of bread.
I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.
"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"
"To buy groceries," I told him.
"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."
He shrugged and paused.
"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many f**...' security cameras."
A programmer's wife sends him to the store and says get some bread, and
while you're there pick up some eggs.
The programmer never returns.
I always eat Eggs Benedict on a foam plate
Because there's no plate like foam for the hollandaise.
A first grade teacher was trying to teach her students about animals
She said "What does the fat Cow give us?"
Her students shouted out "Milk!" Unanimously.
She then said "Well done! Now, what does the fluffy chicken give us?"
Her students responded with "Eggs!"
She then said "Good work! Now for the last question. What does the big pig give us?"
Her students paused for a moment and they all shouted "Homework!"
Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...
Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."
Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French?
Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many o**....
But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast"
I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken
I didn't know where to start.
A programmer goes shopping
A room mate asked his friend who is a programmer to go shopping.
"hey, can you buy a bottle of milk? Oh and if they have eggs, buy 12"
So the programmer went shopping.
When he got back, he bought 12 bottle of milk and his room mate asked
"why the heck did you bought 12 bottle of milk?!"
The programmer responded.
"they have eggs"
A computer programmer's wife sends her husband to the store.
She says, "Buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."
An hour later, he returns home with twelve loaves of bread. She asks,
"Why did you get twelve loaves of bread?" Her husband replies,
"Because they had eggs."
Going through customs at a US airport
Customs agent: Do you have anything to declare today?
Me: *starts sweating* ummmmm no. *trips and falls. Hundred of Kinder eggs spill from my pockets, jacket and bag*
Customs agent: GET ON THE FLOOR NOW!
Me: But, I am -
*armed guards swarm around and pin me down*
Armed guards: WHAT'S IN THE EGGS!!!
Me: I don't know, it's a surprise!!
(Sorry if the formatting s**.... On mobile)
A programmer's wife tells him to go buy some milk, and, while he's there, to get eggs.
He hasn't come back.
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
A man is buying a bananas, an apple and two eggs.
A man is buying a bananas, an apple and two eggs.
The female cashier says: "You must be single."
The man replied: " Wow, how did you know?"
Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
A priest, a monk, and a Rabbi walk into a barbershop.
A priest walks into a barbershop. After he gets his hair cut, he goes to pay. The barber says "I do not charge men of faith." The next day the priest leaves twelve eggs in front of the barbershop as thanks.
Soon after, a monk walks into the same barbershop and gets his hair cut for free. The monk leaves twelve apples by the door as thanks.
A few days later, a Rabbi walks into the barbershop. He gets his free haircut. The next day the barber comes to work to see twelve Rabbis by the door.
A programmer's wife sends him to the grocery store...
She says: "I need you to go get a gallon of milk, if they have eggs, get a dozen."
He comes home with 12 gallons of milk and says: "They had eggs."
A programmer is heading to the store
A programmer is heading to the store and gets a text from his wife:
While you are out, buy some eggs
He never returned.
A wife sends her programmer husband to the store for bread.
As he's leaving, she says, "if they have eggs, get a dozen."
He comes home with 12 loaves of bread
I've always wondered how vegans survived
No meat, no milk and no eggs. How do they do it? But that's when I realized...
They feed off of attention.
Just realized I really like Eggs Benedict when they're served on disposable dishes..
There's just no plates like foam for the Hollandaise
"Back in the day," my grandfather started to say,
"you could walk into a grocery store with 2 dollars in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well."
"But today," he continued, "wherever you go - there are cameras."
A wife sends her programmer husband to the store.
She says, "Buy a gallon of milk. If they have eggs, get a dozen."
When the husband returns, he's carrying twelve gallons of milk?
"Why did you buy twelve gallons of milk" asks the wife.
"Because they had eggs" says the husband.
The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."
"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."
Dad at breakfast:
Dad at breakfast: I'll have bacon and eggs, please
Waiter: How do you like your eggs?
Dad: I don't know, I haven't gotten them yet!
When I'm single I go straight to the farm and collect eggs
It's the best place place to pick up chicks.
A programmer and his wife are reviewing their grocery list.
She says, We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six.
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
He replies, They had eggs.
Why don't French people order 2 eggs in a restaurant?
Because one egg is un oeuf.
After 10 years of marriage, wife manage to discover 5 eggs and 5.000 euros on the cabinet.
\-Darling, I'm sorry, but I went to your office and found 5 eggs and 5.000 euros , what's the deal with it?
\-Well, how can I explain it... Since the beginning of our marriage, I would store one egg for each time you annoyed me.
\-Oh, that's so sweet! And what the 5.000 euros are for?
\-I usually wait when I have a dozen of eggs before selling then.
A programmer
A programmer is going to the grocery store and his wife tells him, "Buy a gallon of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen." So the programmer goes, buys everything, and drives back to his house. Upon arrival, his wife angrily asks him, "Why did you get 13 gallons of milk?" The programmer says, "There were eggs!"
Drunks
Drunk guy: "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before
the devil knows you're dead!"
Drunk girl: "What's that mean?"
Drunk guy: "It's an Irish toast."
Drunk girl: "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."
Drunk guy: "Huh?"
Drunk girl: "That's
On my way to climb Mt. Everest, I came upon a local villager who said he had a rooster that laid eggs.
"How is that possible?" I asked.
"Himalayan rooster," he replied.
I once went to climb Mount Everest...
... came across a local village farmer who said he had a rooster that could lay eggs.
I said, How is that possible?
He said, Himalayan Rooster
P.S I told that joke to a farm girl today and to all the other ag folk who clapped it made my day. Even if there's only two of you with enough cell service to have read it and laughed.
My grandpa used to sprinkle a tablespoon of gunpowder on his eggs every morning.
Said it gave him energy through the day. When he died at the ripe old age of 96, he left behind a grieving wife, 6 children, 14 grandchildren, 3 great grandchildren and a 25 foot hole in the side of the crematorium.
