The Best 78 Egg Jokes

Following is our collection of Egg jokes which are very funny. There are some egg poach jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these egg omlette puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Egg Jokes and Puns

I'm assuming that none of the Jenners ask Kylie to make breakfast.

Since she can't even beat an egg

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today

I'll let you know.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.

Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it.

Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar.....

The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".


Give a man an egg and he'll eat for a day

Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you're taking science too far.

A man goes to a Halloween party dressed up as a chicken and he meets a girl dressed up as an egg.

The answer is the chicken.

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

It might take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid this morning.

I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered

The chicken

A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg.

Apparently the answer is Chicken.

Must be one-of-a-kind...

Years ago, my older friend told me a joke that I have never heard from anyone else to this day. The joke itself is brilliantly stupid.

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?"

"It's going to take a moment for me to get hard; I just got laid by some chick."

You can explore egg egged reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean egg eggcellent dad jokes. There are also egg puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg

A life long question was answered. It was the chicken

From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.

Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg?

Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

"Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."

What's the difference between a Redditor and egg?

An egg gets laid

I went out dressed as a chicken last night.

and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.

Chicken and an egg

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette. The egg, with a dissatisfied look on it's face, rolls over and remarks, "Well, I guess we answered that question."

How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?

By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.


Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

When did Japanese start eating egg?

A long tamago

What tool do you use to open an egg?

A hatchet

I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon....

I want to see which one comes first.

Why do the French make their omelettes with only one egg instead of two or three?

Because in France, one egg is un oeuf.

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?

Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

"Not sure I can get hard..just got laid 10 minutes ago"

Why do you only need one egg in France?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

What do you call the first sperm that reaches the egg?

The ova achiever

Why don't French people order 2 eggs in a restaurant?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

I went to a party dressed as an egg

and I hooked up with a guy dressed as a chicken.
I guess we have an answer to that age old question.
It was the chicken.

I have high cholesterol, so my doctor has me on the "period" diet

One egg a month

I came up with this when I was three years old.

What do you call an egg that's scared?

A chicken egg.

After 10 years of marriage, wife manage to discover 5 eggs and 5.000 euros on the cabinet.

\-Darling, I'm sorry, but I went to your office and found 5 eggs and 5.000 euros , what's the deal with it?

\-Well, how can I explain it... Since the beginning of our marriage, I would store one egg for each time you annoyed me.
\-Oh, that's so sweet! And what the 5.000 euros are for?

\-I usually wait when I have a dozen of eggs before selling then.

One of everything.

A man walks into a grocery store and grabs a shopping cart. He grabs one egg, one tomato, one head of lettuce, one steak, one banana, one apple, and one of everything else in the store.

He walks up to the counter and starts putting his items on the belt. After the cashier gives him a weird look, she says, "You must be single."

He says, "I am. How did you know?"

She says, "Because you're extremely ugly."

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

Its going to take me a while to get hard because I was just laid.

Men are better cooks

With just a piece of sausage and an egg, they can fill a woman's tummy for 9 months.

Why did the egg and the sperm start a business?

Because sex cells.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

The Rooster. ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg

so I said to him, 'Which is your favourite Christian festival?'
He replied 'Have to love Easter, baby.'

Do you know why Parisians only have a single egg for breakfast?

Because in France one egg is un Ε“uf.

What's the difference between a Redditor and an egg?

you know the egg gets laid at least once

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed...

When the chicken sits up, lights a cigar and says " Well I guess that answers that question."

Why did the bacon laugh?

Because the egg cracked a yolk.

Chicken and an egg are sitting in bed...

Egg says in a angry huff "I guess we answered THAT question!"

What are the two main problems about being an egg?

You only get laid once and the only woman to sit on your face is your mother.

I ordered a chicken and an egg online

I'll let you know...

Went to the party dressed as a chicken last night.

Went to a party dressed as a chicken last night, and got with a girl who was dressed as an egg - a life long question was answered. It was the chicken.

Egg timer

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.Β 

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment! Β 

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day! Β 

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.Β 

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.Β 

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"Β 

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Do egg jokes crack you up? Or do they make you scramble away...

omelette you think about it...

The world's largest egg is laid by the Ostrich...

And the world's largest woman is laid by your dad.

Ebay is great!

I just ordered a chicken and an egg. We shall see what one comes first.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

Sorry I can't get hard right now. I just got laid.

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

What do you get when you combine a goat egg and a goat sperm?

A Zy-Goat

I'll escort myself out.

So a chicken and an egg are lying in bed together.

The chicken slowly puffs on a cigarette as he radiates satisfaction. The frustrated egg turns to him and barks, "Well I guess that answers that question."

Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French?

Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many ovum.

But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef.

Whats the difference between a steak, an egg, and a blow job?

You can beat your meat and beat an egg, but you sure cant beat a blow job

Q: How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.

Who came first?

I went out last night dressed as a chicken and ended up getting with a girl who was dressed as an egg. A lifelong question has been answered; it was the chicken.

It's Easter Sunday morning...

... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walks in, sees all the colored eggs, then storms outside and kills the peacock.

What's the worst part about being an egg?

You only get laid once and it's by your mum.

Why do French people only eat one egg at breakfast?

Because one egg is an Ε“uf.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

They won't stop to ask for directions.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It may take me a while to get hard. I just got laid by a chick.

Why do French people eat no more than 1 egg per meal?

Because one is un Ε“uf.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

Don't expect me to get hard in three minutes, I just got laid this morning!

Why did the French guy only eat one egg?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

AN egg walks into a bar......

An egg walks into a bar, along with pancakes, and bacon. The bartender looks up and alertly says.

"Sorry guys, we don't serve breakfast"

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

I don't know if I can get hard I just got laid this morning!

A chicken and egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette.

The egg says to herself, "I guess we answered that question."

Why do the French only eat small breakfasts ?

Because one egg, is an oeuf.

What sucks about being an egg?

You get laid once, and it's by your mom.

Two sperm are swimming along, searching for an egg to fertilize

The first sperm says, are we almost there? I don't know how much longer I can do this!

The second sperm responds, keep going buddy, you can do it. We just passed the tonsils!

I bought a chicken and an egg off of Amazon today...

I'll let you know.

Why is it awful to be an egg?

You only get laid once, it takes three minutes to get hard, and you come in a box with eleven others.

Two eggs are on the counter, they see a fork. One of them turns to the other and asks "what's that?"

The second egg says "beats me".

After months in quarantine, I have something in common with a rotten egg..

It has been months since I was laid too.

Breakfast musings...

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the egg lette jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working egg yolkswagen piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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