Effort Jokes
135 effort jokes and hilarious effort puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about effort that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Effort Short Jokes
Short effort jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The effort humour may include short efficiency jokes also.
- It's refreshing to see a President keeping his campaign promises. Although I'm not entirely sure rotating people through the cabinet counts as creating jobs but the effort is certainly present.
- The guys at the gym called me a fat loser ... It's really great how they notice my effort.
- Let's all take a moment to Thank Amber Heard's team of Lawyers for their efforts and hard work to prove Johnny Depp's innocence.
- Sometimes, to impress girls, I use big words that I don't fully understand... ...in an effort to sound more photosynthesis.
- Nurse missed the first time when trying to give me an IV. When he switched Arms to try again, I asked... Was your first effort in vein?
- What's the difference between a landslide and a social justice warrior? It takes a lot of effort to trigger a landslide.
- Did ABC purposefully mix up the Best Picture announcement in an effort to drive ratings? After some careful research I've found nearly everybody on that stage to be a paid actor!
- Who has 2 thumbs and wants a lot of awards for no effort? That would be me.
Love you all, have a terrific day! - "push push...harder.. you can do it.. little more!!" I was yelling at my pregnant wife.. But despite her best efforts,the car didn't start.
- My wife was complaining about how much effort I put into customizing my avatar at the beginning of games.... I told her that hard work helps build character.
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Effort One Liners
Which effort one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with effort? I can suggest the ones about working hard and attempt.
- What do you call a bunch of potheads working together? A joint effort!
- I put as much effort into life... As the guy who named the sleeping bag
- A man sends ten puns to a friend in an effort to make him laugh. Alas, no pun in ten did.
- How did the farmer manage to shave 100 sheep in one hour? Shear effort
- What do you call a joke that makes no sense and has no effort? A cake day post.
- 2 people came up to me and dislocated my finger, It was a joint effort.
- 2 people dislocated my toe earlier It was a joint effort.
- A man tried to rob a store with a banana... ...his efforts were fruitless.
- I used to be a spacecraft engineer. My efforts were all for naut.
- What do you call when two people roll marihuana together? A joint effort.
- So a guy went apple-picking in the dead of winter It was a fruitless effort
- I tried to design a piece of paper and my teacher was impressed. He gave me an A4 effort.
- A guy died from arteries clogging. The doctors' efforts were in vein.
- Education is a team effort There's no 'i' in 'illiteracy'!
- What is love? The effort a man makes to be content with just one woman.
Cheeky Effort Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about effort you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean effect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make effort pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
GF: Are you seriously going to open the blinds n**...?
ME: yes, I feel like if people put enough effort to look through hundreds of hotel windows, then they deserve to get a prize.
GF: oh! like "You sir just earned yourself a wiener view"
Can you write a whole paragraph without the letter A?
I wouldn't recommend it.
Honestly, your sentences willl just sound wrong.
Everyone will notice you're doing something
different. Your writing won't flow smoothly. You'll
use weird words.
It's not worth the effort involved in spending
time online looking up tons of synonyms which
don't feel right, just to produce weird, stilted
prose.
You'd be better off giving up, to be honest.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I tried as hard as I could to get my wife to have s**... with me. She just rolled over and went to sleep. At least I know I gave it my best effort . . .
Before hand
Bad News
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got arrested last night for m**......
I can't remember too much, I was out drinking till late. Once I left the pub I saw two young men fighting. It took some effort but I successfully managed to separate them.
The judge says they were Siamese twins conjoined at the head.
In an effort to be sexier for my wife, I figured I'd pluck 60% of my chest hair...
3 of the 5.
Whatever you do, don't tell this joke to a math person; they will just make you upset
Bill is a giant nerd, and he knows that he isn't perceived as cool; in fact, lots of people call him a square. So, in an effort to be cool, he finds some cool guys and decides to go do everything he can with them.
They say, "Hey Bill, we're going to the bar. Want to come?"
He says, "Sure," and comes to the bar. They all order shots and beers. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he orders shots and beers, and they all have a great time.
Next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a club. Bill comes along with them. They all start grinding on women and ordering tons of booze. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he does the same and has a good time.
The next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a football game. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he comes along. The guys are all cheering for their team enthusiastically, but Bill just sits quietly in his seat. Finally one of the guys says, "Bill, this isn't like you. Everything else we've done, you've joined in happily. Why won't you root for the team with us?"
Bill replies, "Well, I don't want to be a square. And rooting? Rooting is for squares."
A man was being chased in the woods by a lion who was going to eat him...
He ran his hardest, but the lion was advancing quickly. Just as it looked like the end for him, he decided on a last ditch effort. Being Catholic, he looked to the sky, dropped to his knees, and desperately prayed. "Lord!" he exclaimed. "Make this lion a Christian!" Instantly the lion pressed his paws together and prayed "For this meal in which I am about to partake..."
Couldn't sleep
So I couldn't sleep last night, and in an effort to wind my brain down, I ended up looking up obscure European military facts.
Did you know there was once a unit in the Scottish armed forces that's only job was to watch over furniture?
Yep, they were called the Scotch Guard.
'Not Actual Game Footage'
'Translation'
'We put more effort into this advert than the actual game'
An overweight woman decided to start walking her dog to get exercise...
She stopped after realizing the effort it took to steer her scooter.
In a short-sighted rushed effort to reboot the iTouch product Apple decided to market it to schools. Apple named their new product iTouch Kids. It didn't go over well...
It did great in the 12-25 prison stint group though.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I met a girl in the park today who proved that fat girls really do try harder...
She put up a valiant effort, but that amount of chloroform would have put a rhino down.
I Swear, These Jell-o Products Just Keep Getting Worse...
It's almost like they're pudding in less effort.
I'll see myself out.
What's the difference between Mayweather and a Lotto winner
The Lotto winner has to make an effort for his money
What did russian judge say to the jury?
I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.
What's the best way to become a Russian leader?
Stop Stalin! Just Putin the effort and start Lenin it happen!
What's the opposite of effort?
F it.
I lift at the gym
the stairs are too much effort
Women are like helicopters...
You know they work and you trust them, but if you make any effort to understand them whatsoever you'd be too terrified to go near them.
Two dropouts shared a spliff.
It was a joint effort.
I have ability I hate that makes me react to everything which requires a lot of effort.
I call it Response Ability
The Depressed Student
Sally noticed that one of her students had been suffering from depression for the last few weeks. She decided to ask him some easy questions in an effort to engage him. Johnny, if I subtract 4 from 12 what do I get?"
Johnny looked at her and sighed, "I don't know. What difference does it make?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I dont respect people who give no effort to make room on crowded subway trains...
... and yet I think the people who yell at them are crazy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dating is a lot like parking
All the good ones are taken. The rest take a bunch of effort or are handicapped.
Devil in the Church
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
I asked my girlfriend for a pi shaped pie for pie day and now she won't talk to me.
She thought it was cute, until I told her not to put too much effort into it since it's the thought that counts.
In a last ditch effort to curb over grazing, some ranchers have decided to drive their cattle up into the mountains.
Analysts say the steaks have never been higher.
What's black and white and can divide the largest numbers without much effort?
Obama
I'm not very good at rolling blunts so I got my mate to help me...
You could say it was a Joint effort.
I feel like most jokes about communism are pretty low effort
But at least everyone gets them
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lot of effort goes into my erections.
They're all handmade.
Remember, always give 100% of your effort at work
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Friday
Why is everyone giving Kellyanne Conway such a hard time about making herself comfortable?
Come on, you'd want to relax as well, fabricating a massacre takes some effort.
Why is Apple putting so much effort into building a self-driving car?
So there can finally be a car without Windows
Why did Princess Dianna buy a Nespresso machine?
Because the effort of the French Press absolutely killed her.
What did the judges say about the Russian athlete that lost a race?
"Well, at least he Putin a good effort."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do the Special Olympics and a h**... have in common?
You appreciate the effort but you could do it better.
What is it called when you can't finish a joint so you have to get your friends together to help?
A joint effort.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Canadian s**... hit a target from 2 miles
When asked how he did it, he said it was a team effort. "I could have never done it without my spotter and 2 sweepers."
I threw my girlfriend a leaving party but she didn't seem to appreciate the effort.
She kept saying, "Where am I going?!"
I'd like to think I'm a fairly funny guy.
I mean I get mirrors to crack up without any effort. Just natural talent I guess
Donald Trump dies in Israel
After too much effort during a state visit in Israel, Trump collapses of a heart attack. The Israeli officials take the body and tell the Americans : " There's two options."
" The first one, you pay $5,000,000 and we send the body back to the United States so he can be buried there. "
" Second option, you pay $100,000 and we bury him here in the sacred land of Israel"
After much debating, the Americans decided to pay the larger fee and repatriate the body. Surprised, the Israelis ask them why they chose the bigger figure.
" Well, the last time you buried someone he came back after three days so we're not taking any chances !"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Preforming acts of genuine kindness is a lot like my s**... game...
A whole lot of effort for a quick ending
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Someone told me I looked sad. In an effort to cheer me up he asked me to name one thing that was positive in my life. My answer?
h**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Back in my Day
Terrorists put more effort into their life's passion.
The solar eclipse was like a one night stand
I spent a whole lot of effort for two minutes of pleasure.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the two guys who robbed the m**... dispensary?
It was a joint effort.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Asian couple is in bed
And the husband, making an effort to spice things up, says "We do #69 now"!
And the wife says, "Why you want Beef and Broccoli"?
I'll admit; my business plan of impersonating and running marathons on behalf of fee paying clients who want prestige without effort, is not going well.
But I'd still give you a run for your money.
A short fortune teller committed a crime, and the police put almost no effort into catching her
Headlines the next day read: Small medium largely ignored.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stoners everywhere are uniting to push for legalization of m**...
It is a joint effort
Satan appeared before a small town congregation and everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away...
Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman, who sat calmly.
Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
My entire life I've made the effort to become the thing people said I'd never be
So I became a failure.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you meddle in other countries elections and get caught …..
…. Maybe next time you should ***Putin*** more effort to hide it.
They fired my friend, doctor, for sleeping with his patient
After 7 years of studying, they fired my friend, doctor. He slept with his patient and can no longer carry out his profession for this. So much effort, time, money, and hop, it's just a one little mistake that makes you lose everything. Dave, I stand by you, you are still a wonderful person and an excellent veterinarian for me!
A friend and I just rolled the worlds biggest spliff
It was a joint effort.
Want to go viral with low effort?
Don't vaccinate!
Learning Russian is difficult
You really have to Putin the effort and can't be Stalin everyday
In an effort to not offend...
...The great white shark will now be named the average caucasian shark.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Beads of sweat were running down her cleavage. Her breathing was hot and heavy.
She moaned as she gained momentum by rocking her hips harder and harder, preparing for the final climactic effort she knew was coming soon. Then, in one final full-body t**..., it was all over, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction. It's always a struggle when the wife gets up off the sofa.
Stopping graffiti has become unmanageable around here
So far the only effort to reduce it has been a complete wash.
Relationships take effort from both sides to work.
If she is going to call the cops every time she sees me in her bushes, I don't think this is going to work.
Ireland has just declared a drought!
In response to this the Irish government have decided to close 2 lanes in every swimming pool in an effort to save water.
There was a note at the bottom of my homework. It said: "A for effort."
I said, "No, that's wrong."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The n**... really wasted so much money and effort on a racist motive which made no sense
It truly was a hollow cost
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Three gay men are at a bar.
The first one says, I'm so loose, my boyfriend can fit his fist inside me without effort! Second one says, Oh yeah? I'm so loose that my bf can fit his whole arm inside me without effort! Third guy laughs and the stool beneath him disappears.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All three of my uncles used to grow w**... together
It was a joint effort.
Last weekend I was accused of being dyslexic at a party...
I think they were just jealous of my goat costume, because nobody else put in *any* effort. For some reason they all decided to just wear bed sheets to the goat party.
