The Best 66 Effort Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Effort jokes. There are some effort toil jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these effort materials puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Effort Jokes and Puns
Can you write a whole paragraph without the letter A?
I wouldn't recommend it.
Honestly, your sentences willl just sound wrong.
Everyone will notice you're doing something
different. Your writing won't flow smoothly. You'll
use weird words.
It's not worth the effort involved in spending
time online looking up tons of synonyms which
don't feel right, just to produce weird, stilted
prose.
You'd be better off giving up, to be honest.
I tried as hard as I could to get my wife to have sex with me. She just rolled over and went to sleep. At least I know I gave it my best effort . . .
Before hand
An old man is on his deathbed...
and his wife is sitting next to him in a chair, holding his hand. He seems to be fading fast, and with a great effort he grasps her hand. "My love, I must confess something..I've cheated on you with dozens...maybe thousands of women..."
She looks at him tearfully, wipes the tears from her eyes and says "shhh now my love..i know..now hush and let the poison work"
Bad News
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
I got arrested last night for murder...
I can't remember too much, I was out drinking till late. Once I left the pub I saw two young men fighting. It took some effort but I successfully managed to separate them.
The judge says they were Siamese twins conjoined at the head.
Whatever you do, don't tell this joke to a math person; they will just make you upset
Bill is a giant nerd, and he knows that he isn't perceived as cool; in fact, lots of people call him a square. So, in an effort to be cool, he finds some cool guys and decides to go do everything he can with them.
They say, "Hey Bill, we're going to the bar. Want to come?"
He says, "Sure," and comes to the bar. They all order shots and beers. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he orders shots and beers, and they all have a great time.
Next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a club. Bill comes along with them. They all start grinding on women and ordering tons of booze. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he does the same and has a good time.
The next week, they call Bill up and tell him that they're going to a football game. Bill doesn't want to be a square, so he comes along. The guys are all cheering for their team enthusiastically, but Bill just sits quietly in his seat. Finally one of the guys says, "Bill, this isn't like you. Everything else we've done, you've joined in happily. Why won't you root for the team with us?"
Bill replies, "Well, I don't want to be a square. And rooting? Rooting is for squares."
A man was being chased in the woods by a lion who was going to eat him...
He ran his hardest, but the lion was advancing quickly. Just as it looked like the end for him, he decided on a last ditch effort. Being Catholic, he looked to the sky, dropped to his knees, and desperately prayed. "Lord!" he exclaimed. "Make this lion a Christian!" Instantly the lion pressed his paws together and prayed "For this meal in which I am about to partake..."
A man sends ten puns to a friend in an effort to make him laugh.
Alas, no pun in ten did.
An overweight woman decided to start walking her dog to get exercise...
She stopped after realizing the effort it took to steer her scooter.
I met a girl in the park today who proved that fat girls really do try harder...
She put up a valiant effort, but that amount of chloroform would have put a rhino down.
I put as much effort into life...
As the guy who named the sleeping bag
You can explore effort remain reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean effort pains dad jokes. There are also effort puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A drunk staggers into a Catholic confessional
and doesn't say anything. So after a few minutes, the priest, in an effort to get the man's attention coughs. The man doesn't respond, so the priest stomps his foot. Still nothing. Finally the priest bangs on the wall of the confessional. The man replies, "There's no use banging, my friend, I don't have any toilet paper."
Education is a team effort
There's no 'i' in 'illiteracy'!
What do you call a bunch of potheads working together?
A joint effort!
The Dying Man and the Cookies
An old man was on his death bed and had less than a day to live. As he lay there reflecting on his life, he smelled his favorite cookies in the kitchen. So using his last bit of will and effort, he dragged himself out of bed and crawled to the kitchen for a cookie. He sat down at the table and reached for one when his wife popped his hand with a wooden spoon: "Don't touch it! Those are for your funeral!"
The Depressed Student
Sally noticed that one of her students had been suffering from depression for the last few weeks. She decided to ask him some easy questions in an effort to engage him. Johnny, if I subtract 4 from 12 what do I get?"
Johnny looked at her and sighed, "I don't know. What difference does it make?"
Dating is a lot like parking
All the good ones are taken. The rest take a bunch of effort or are handicapped.
Sometimes, to impress girls, I use big words that I don't fully understand...
...in an effort to sound more photosynthesis.
Devil in the Church
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Devastated. A very sad day today. After seven years of training in the medical fields and hard work, a very good friend of mine was fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his clients and can now no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money...
A genuinely nice guy and an absolutely brilliant mortician.
A lot of effort goes into my erections.
They're all handmade.
In an effort to inspire his young son who did not want to go to school, his father told him :
"When Abraham Lincoln was your age he used to walk miles for the privilege of going to school."
The young boy thought for a moment and responded,
"Yes, but when he was your age he was President of the United States."
Did ABC purposefully mix up the Best Picture announcement in an effort to drive ratings?
After some careful research I've found nearly everybody on that stage to be a paid actor!
What did the judges say about the Russian athlete that lost a race?
"Well, at least he Putin a good effort."
What do the Special Olympics and a hand job have in common?
You appreciate the effort but you could do it better.
Special olympics and a handjob is very similar.
You really appreciate the effort, but you know you could do better.
A Canadian sniper hit a target from 2 miles
When asked how he did it, he said it was a team effort. "I could have never done it without my spotter and 2 sweepers."
I threw my girlfriend a leaving party but she didn't seem to appreciate the effort.
She kept saying, "Where am I going?!"
What's the difference between a landslide and a social justice warrior?
It takes a lot of effort to trigger a landslide.
Did you hear about the two guys who robbed the marijuana dispensary?
It was a joint effort.
An Asian couple is in bed
And the husband, making an effort to spice things up, says "We do #69 now"!
And the wife says, "Why you want Beef and Broccoli"?
Little Johnny
Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
I tried to design a piece of paper and my teacher was impressed.
He gave me an A4 effort.
A short fortune teller committed a crime, and the police put almost no effort into catching her
Headlines the next day read: Small medium largely ignored.
Satan appeared before a small town congregation and everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away...
Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman, who sat calmly.
Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
A sad day for a doctor
After 7 years of study, training and hard work, a member of the medical profession has been fired after one minor lack of judgment. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession.
What a waste of time, effort, training and money. This shows that one minor mistake can ruin your career. Praying for him and his family. He was a genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant veterinarian.
It's refreshing to see a President keeping his campaign promises.
Although I'm not entirely sure rotating people through the cabinet counts as creating jobs but the effort is certainly present.
They fired my friend, doctor, for sleeping with his patient
After 7 years of studying, they fired my friend, doctor. He slept with his patient and can no longer carry out his profession for this. So much effort, time, money, and hop, it's just a one little mistake that makes you lose everything. Dave, I stand by you, you are still a wonderful person and an excellent veterinarian for me!
My wife was complaining about how much effort I put into customizing my avatar at the beginning of games....
I told her that hard work helps build character.
The guys at the gym called me a fat loser ...
It's really great how they notice my effort.
Beads of sweat were running down her cleavage. Her breathing was hot and heavy.
She moaned as she gained momentum by rocking her hips harder and harder, preparing for the final climactic effort she knew was coming soon. Then, in one final full-body thrust, it was all over, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction. It's always a struggle when the wife gets up off the sofa.
How did the farmer manage to shave 100 sheep in one hour?
Shear effort
Stopping graffiti has become unmanageable around here
So far the only effort to reduce it has been a complete wash.
Some guys at the gym called me a fat loser today
I'm glad they notice my effort.
The Nazis really wasted so much money and effort on a racist motive which made no sense
It truly was a hollow cost
Three gay men are at a bar.
The first one says, I'm so loose, my boyfriend can fit his fist inside me without effort! Second one says, Oh yeah? I'm so loose that my bf can fit his whole arm inside me without effort! Third guy laughs and the stool beneath him disappears.
All three of my uncles used to grow weed together
It was a joint effort.
What do you call when two people roll marihuana together?
A joint effort.
Last weekend I was accused of being dyslexic at a party...
I think they were just jealous of my goat costume, because nobody else put in *any* effort. For some reason they all decided to just wear bed sheets to the goat party.
A man was looking for a space to park his car in the parking lot of a mall...
After a lot of effort of going round and round he couldn't find an empty space so he started praying, please God help me find a parking space, I will go to church everyday for the rest of my life and would even give half of my life savings to charity..
Suddenly he sees a car pulling out of a spot..
Man : OKAY, Nevermind I found one..!!
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.
I blame the general manager, said the first fan. If he signed better players, we'd be a great team.
I blame the players, said the second fan. If they made more of an effort, we'd score some points.
I blame my parents, said the third. If I'd been born in Seattle, I'd be supporting a decent team.
Why is a degree like a condom?
It's rolled up when you get it, it represents a lot of effort, and its worthless the next day.
A few guys grew some weed
A group of friends decided to experiment with growing weed one day. It proved to be a success and they were very proud of their work.
However, one member of the group decided to take all the credit for himself. This was foolish as it was obviously a joint effort...
If I'm going to go to all the effort of remembering you have a baby you could at least have the common decency...
...to still have a baby when I see you several years later.
My boss has arrived with a brand new ferari. "Wow" I said amazed. He told me then :
"If you work hard enough and put all your effort to strive for excellence without taking hours break, i might get another one next year."
Today is a VERY, VERY sad day.
VERY VERY VERY SAD DAY. A good friend of mine, after 7 years of medical school and training has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He is still paying his school loans. This just goes to show you one minor mistake can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family.
He really is a great guy and a brilliant veterinarian.
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
An original joke from my 7 year old daughter
Did you hear the joke about the piece of paper?
Don't worry about it, it's tearable!
{I'm sure someone in history has used this pun, but I was pretty impressed with her effort!}
What do you call someone who livestreams their effort to overthrow a government?
An exseditionist
What do you call a joke that makes no sense and has no effort?
A cake day post.
A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly.
After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until he crashes heavily into the ground with a hard knock on his shell.
After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again.
The little turtle persisted again and again while a couple of birds sitting at the edge of a branch, watched the turtle with pain. Suddenly the female bird says to the male, "Dear, I think it's time to tell our little turtle he is adopted."
President Biden visits a fully vaccinated senior home
After a heartful speech in which he thanked the staff for their effort and the residents for their sacrifices he was doing the hand-shaking round. As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". Her response was simply, "No, but there's a nice woman at the front desk who can tell you!"
2 people dislocated my toe earlier
It was a joint effort.
How can you tell a post on Reddit is high effort?
Simple, just look for the "0 Comments" under it
A new Taken movie is being made.
In it, Liam Neeson feels like nobody appreciates the effort he went through to get his family back. So he pays people to kidnap him to make his family see the lengths he went through to save them.
It's going to be called Taken 4 Granted.
Nuns
Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game, whose headgear partially blocked the view, three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there." The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there." The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there." One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet, calm, voice said, "Why don't you go to hell. There aren't any nuns there."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the effort feat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working effort attempt piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.