Efficient Jokes
78 efficient jokes and hilarious efficient puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about efficient that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Efficient Short Jokes
Short efficient jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The efficient humour may include short effective jokes also.
- SPOILER ALERT: I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency.
- People tell me I raised my child the wrong way. When in fact pulleys are very efficient.
\[OC\] - I have a joke for you The government in this country is excellent, and uses your tax dollars efficiently.
- What is the similitude between and air conditioner and a computer? Opening windows makes both less efficient.
- How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, because they are quick and efficient
- If Germans are so efficient and productive, why hasn't Germany built an unsinkable ship yet? Because why would we waste our time building a ship if nobody has ever sought of it yet?
- Playing Legend of Zelda has really improved my work ethic My boss says that I'm "Hylian Efficient."
- As a scientist, I received a lot of praise for figuring out a new method of getting drugs to enter cells more effectively and efficiently. As a prisoner, I received another 2 years on my sentence.
- You got to admit these civil war reenactments are getting more efficient Nowadays it only takes a couple hours for the confederacy to surrender
- In my free time I help blind children I usually find throwing pencils is the most efficient method
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Efficient One Liners
Which efficient one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with efficient? I can suggest the ones about efficiency and productive.
- Never hit a man with glasses Fists are just more efficient
- A man said 'efficiency' A fish said 'A human on land'
- Tracking efficiency in dogs rises 300% when fed diets of salmon. Give it a fish an' see
- Got fired from my government job today They said I was too efficient
- What's the difference between Finding Nemo and Shrek? Finding Nemo is about Efficiency.
- Crop tops are very efficient. They don't let anything go to waist.
- Turtles are very efficient animals... they come pre-packaged!
- Why are condors such efficient fliers? All their luggage is carrion.
- I'm not lazy I'm just energy efficient
- Why are kitchens in Chinese restaurants so efficient? They have a Peking order.
- Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
- How efficient is shipping goods in a large metal container? Semi
- I'm not lazy I chose to use my creative genius on mastering efficiency
- What's the opposite of a fish out of water? Efficiency.
- Glockenspiel Germanic efficiency brought to the game of Russian roulette.
Energy Efficient Jokes
Here is a list of funny energy efficient jokes and even better energy efficient puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Keep CRT out of our schools! It's the 21st Century, people. LCD monitors are higher resolution and much more energy efficient!
- Be aware of your carbon footprint Next time you have a lightbulb moment, think of a energy efficient led bulb
- Did you hear about the Italian engineer who invented a car so energy efficient that it didn't need any gas at all? It's called the Ronzoni Downhill
Entertaining Efficient Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about efficient you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make efficient pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A minister and a lawyer at the pearly gates.
A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments.
"Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, (to the lawyer) the keys to our finest p**... suit."
"This is unfair!" cried the minister.
"Listen," Saint Peter said, "ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've seen."
The french invented a new bulletproof vest
That is just as efficient as a regular one but much cheaper: it only covers the soldiers' backs
[OC] Al Gore decides to write a series of educational songs about the environment.
He presents the head of the production company with the lyrics for his songs, including the lyrics for one song about animals in forest habitats, which has over 500 lines.
The head of the production company says, "wait, this song is way too long! This isn't a very efficient way of conveying your message."
Al Gore replies, "efficient? Of course it isn't! It's a brute-forest Al Gore rhythm!"
I recently went to a science seminar on new materials we could use to make knives more efficient
It was cutting edge stuff.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm new to jokes, but I thought I would give it a shot.
**Q:** How many activists does it take to change a light bulb?
**A:** Light bulbs aren't necessarily an energy efficient choice, and neither are the choices of activists.
Martial arts
The Israelis developed Krav Maga - the art of disabling an opponent as quickly as possible.
The Japanese developed Jujitsu - the art of defeating an armed and armored opponent.
The Brazilians developed Capoeira - the art of defeating an opponent using dance and acrobatics.
The French developed parkour - the art of running away as quickly and efficiently as possible.
German Mining Company
German miner, "herr supervisor, we're working so many hours and we're so efficient that within a year we will run out of ore to mine."
Mine Supervisor, "this is a problem. A very bad problem."
Miner, "what do you suggest we do?"
Supervisor, "Mein Fuhrer."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yesterday I moved to Germany and my new German flatmate told me that he only knows one joke...
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. Because they are very efficient...
And they don't understand jokes.
A company hire an efficiency expert as a consultant.
To everyone's surprise, the presentation was very interesting. For once many felt like this was a valuable use of time! as the presenter finished up, he said, "I hope you have found use in my presentation today, but I would warn you, be careful about using these techniques at home. The other night I was watching as my wife did the dinner dishes, and noticed some inefficiency in her technique. Wanting to be helpful, I advised her of several small improvements that could add up to maximum efficiency."
One of the attendees raised their hand,"Did it work? Did the dishwashing become more efficient?"
"Oh yes," the consultant replied,"before my advice, my wife took 18 minutes to finish the dishes, now I do it in 12."
My philosophy to everything I do are governed by the three E's
Excellence, Efficiency, and Intelligence
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm glad the electric chair was invented
It made executions much more efficient than mechanical chairs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?
The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.
The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead to account for the placebo effect.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are Asian democracies so efficient?
Because everyone knows it's bad for you if an e**... lasts more than four hours.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Shooting guns is a s**... hobby.
Its much easier and more cost efficient to shoot targets!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Multijokes: How many Jews can you fit in a family car.
Standard Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and six-million in the ashtray.
Follow-Up Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and none anywhere else because the Holocaust never happened.
Alternate Answ**e**r: Three in the back, two in the front and a family of eight hiding under the roof-rack.
Efficient Answ**e**r: Not enough, we'll need to use trains.
Anti-Joke Answ**e**r: Please tell me, myself and some Jewish friends are going to Florida but ~~cannot afford~~ are too-cheap for plane tickets.
Racist Answ**e**r: Throw a dollar in there and they'll all get in.
The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner
A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.
The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.
The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.
The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the most efficient type of weedeater?
A s**... in a police raid.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did the n**... measure the efficiency of their gas chambers?
In KillaJews per second
the Japanese have a business concept called "Kaizen".
It means continual improvement, but knowing how efficient most Japanese are, they've probably come up with something better by now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How Many Germans Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Two. One cause he's efficient and has no sense of humor. And the other to repost this joke for the 10th time
My motto is Efficiency. Efficiency. Efficiency.
Oop. I guess I only need to say it once.
My restaurant got a new German chef yesterday
He's already increased the efficiency of our ovens and thrown away all the bad juice
Scientists have developed a new, more efficient process for smelting aluminum.
They were thinking outside the bauxite.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I before E, except after C.
We ***feign agreeing***, but this ***foreign poltergeist*** of a rule is ***neither efficient*** nor smart- and ***therein*** lies the ***height*** of the issue. It's as if an ***ancient deity*** has influenced the ***zeitgeist*** of the people. We must remove the ***weight*** of this ***veil*** from ***their*** eyes, and ***forfeit*** the ***leisure*** of this ***weird*** and ***heinous*** rule from our ***science*** and ***leisure*** alike.
Why did the automotive engineer scream at his Toyota during his fuel efficiency experiments?
He was a car berater!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
the next big profession
**hipster driving a Prius:** is this more efficient than hyrid and electric?
**hipster riding a horse:** that's what the salesman told me.
Over the years, I've poured countless hours into developing a simpler, more efficient form of blood transfusion.
So far, all my efforts have been in vein.
Wrestling Match
A man waited almost an hour in line to get a ticket to a wrestling match.
Ticket Master: "Quite the wait, don't you think it would be more efficient if these were sold online?"
Man: "Yeah I suppose, but then there'd be no punchline"
Knock knock. 9. Nein your business.
German knock knock jokes are non interactive for efficiency.... and they're not very funny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. We are efficient, but not very funny.
The Dalai Lama is working with peruvian engineers to move llamas more efficiently…
It's the Dalai Lamas' llama dolly.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three automobile managers at the u**...
The first goes to the sink and dries his hands with so many paper towels that not even the smallest droplet remains. "At Opel, we learn to be extremely thorough," he says.
The second uses only one towel for this and remarks: "At BMW, we also learn to be extremely efficient."
The third walks past the sink and says, "At Daimler, we don't p**... all over our hands!"
Why can't you improve the efficiency of wind farms by playing country music around them?
Because they're really just big heavy metal fans.
We do do windows.
A young woman had the windows in her house replaced with new double-insulated energy efficient windows. Twelve months later, she got a call from the contractor, complaining that the work has been done for a year and she had yet to make the first payment.
The woman replied, "Now don't try to pull a fast one on me. The salesman who sold me those told me that in one year they would pay for themselves!"
