Edward Jokes
82 edward jokes and hilarious edward puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about edward that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you a fan of movies like Edward Scissorhands, Edward Cullen in Twilight, or Edward Nygma in Batman? Get ready for a round of hilarious jokes about these beloved characters! From Edward Elric in Fullmetal Alchemist to Philip, Henry and Harrison from Matrix, explore the funniest jokes about everyone's favorite Edward.
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Funniest Edward Short Jokes
Short edward jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The edward humour may include short reign jokes also.
- A guy is talking with his friend Edward... ...and asks him:
-What do dead and black people have in common?
-Well, I don't know.
-They both get a rest, Ed. - Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name? Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar.
- "Edward, I gave you scissors for hands, but don't let that define who you are" Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands" - Where's the best place for Edward Snowden to hide? Wallstreet. No one there ever seems to get prosecuted.
- Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th. "Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."
- Edward Snowden just joined Twitter. Almost immediately he got more followers than the NSA. Luckily for the NSA, they follow a lot more people than Snowden.
- Edward G Robinsons father became a woman, and his mother became a man. He has been very open discussing this. He has trans parents, see
- Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia? Because he was Snowd en!
(according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof) - Why does Edward never leave Russia? He's always Snowden.
- What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard? Edward Snowed In
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Edward One Liners
Which edward one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with edward? I can suggest the ones about john and roger.
- What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama? Pardon me
- Why couldn't Edward leave Russia? He was Snowden!
- Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country? He was Snowden.
- The cow says "Moo." The pig says "Oink." The dog says Ed..ward.
- Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia? Because he was Snowden.
- Why isn't Edward leaving Russia? ...because he's snowed in.
- Say what you want about Edward Scissorhands... but I think he's a pretty sharp guy.
- Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter? He'll be Snowden.
- For the next two days you can call me Edward... I'll be snowed in
- What's Edward Elric's favorite band? My Alchemical Romance
- Why didn't Edward leave his house? Because he was Snowden.
- The bad weather kept my friend Edward from going to work today He's Snowden
- Wanna know how to defeat Edward Scissorhands? Just throw rock.
- Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport? Because he was Snowden...
- Why couldn't Edward go to school? because he was Snowden.
Edward Scissorhands Jokes
Here is a list of funny edward scissorhands jokes and even better edward scissorhands puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If you ever feel like you're walking on eggshells.. Imagine Edward Scissorhands with an itchy scalp.
- My mom told this to me while she was talking to my brother Your head is so big that when you went to get a haircut they had to get Edward scissorhands for the job.
- I wonder what Edward Scissorhands thinks of touchscreen technology.
- Why doesn't Edward Scissorhands like mice? Because he prefers keyboard shortcuts!
Edward Cullen Jokes
Here is a list of funny edward cullen jokes and even better edward cullen puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I have found the true name of the twilight Princess His name is Edward Cullen.
- Why is Edward Cullen so pale? There's no sunshine in closets.
- Where did Edward from Twilight learn how to cook? Cullen-ary school
Laughable Edward Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about edward you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make edward pranks.
Why was Edward late for work at the NSA?
He was Snowden.
After being granted asylum in the Antarctica...
I guess you could call him, Edward snowed-in.
Last night I hooked up with Edward Snowden's sister.
believe me, she's the REAL whistle blower.
What do you get when you cross a whistle with a blizzard?
Edward Snowed-in
Have you heard about Edward Snowden's brother Jon Snowden?
He knows nothing...
Hydrogen is a light, odorless gas, which, given enough time, turns into people.
\- Edward Robert Harrison, *Smithsonian Magazine*, December, 1995.
The NSA wants Edward Snowden to leave Russia.
NSA: Hey Edward, you should really come back to America so we can talk.
Edward: I can't. I'm Snowden.
Why is Edward still in Russia?
Because he is Snowd*en*
Why didn't Edward get on the plane?
Cause it was snowed-in.
What do you call a mythical milkshake?
Legendairy
(credits to my friend Edward Feng for this really dumb pun)
Those childhood days(real incident)
I am sharing my childhood event and this makes me laughs hilariously
Teacher (on phone): You say Edward has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
How many Edward Snowden's does it take to know what is going on in a Clinton administration?
**The server you are attempting to connect to has been unintentionally disabled, wiped, and burned. But not in a g**... negligent manner. **
Why couldn't Edward come to America?
He was Snowden!
I legally changed my name to Edward Genocide...
...you can call me Ed G.
What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?
Edward Snowed-in
Why cant Edward leave Russia?
Hes Snowden!!
Why does the name Edward Woodward have so many Ds in it?
Because if it didn't the man would be called Ewar Woowar, and that's just silly
Why was Edward stuck in Russia?
He was Snowden
A very rich landlord lives in a mansion...
He has lots of servants in the mansion. Usually, everyone calls him Edward. Edward Bates. But his servants call him Master Bates.
Something interesting I learned about Edward VIII
He has the distinction of being the only person ever demoted from Lord Admiral of the Fleet to third mate on an American t**....
What do you Call a Man with Three Pieces of Wood on his Head?
Edward Woodward.
What do you call a man with four pieces of wood on his head?
I don't know, but Edward Woodward would.
A few nights after his wives f**..., Edward woke up stiff as a rod.
Mourning wood.
Original
My friends and I did a Battlestar Galactica cosplay for Comicon, but my costume s**...
I looked like Edward James Almost
Why has Edward been in Russia so long?
Because he was Snowden.
What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?
What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?
Ag I tat Ed.
I'm veeeerrrryyyyy agitated.
I was with a deaf girl who knew sign language, we were watching that movie where Johnny Depp has blades for fingers. I couldn't remember what that character was called so I sign to her, What's that character's name?
Edward, says her hands.
What were Edward Smith's last words?
"Wow! She's really wet now!"
True story
My fathers name is Edward, Ed for short, and my mother's name is Alice. The joke was if you have a problem with Ed, see Alice.
Why did Edward Woodward have so many d's in his name?
Because without them he would've been called Ewar Woowar.
People often ask me if I'm team Edward or team Jacob
I'm actually team Jack Daniels
Edward Jack gets a job...
Edward Jack gets a job at an average-paying office. He's popular among his co-workers, and his boss who speaks rough english. He fired a guy buy saying, You no job good! Since the boss can't pronounce Edward well, he calls him E. Jack.
One day Edward woke up late, got stuck in traffic, and was late to work. He got yelled at by his boss who said, E. JACK! YOU LATE!
Edward Carrington Marshal, the only son of John Marshall, who was the original owner of the famous Liberty Bell, was found dead.
Police suspect Will Smith, since his fresh prints were found on the bell heir.
Forgive me if it's a repost, I am not sure.
Rick: What is the name of your car?
Edward: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Rick: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol
