The Best 57 Edward Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Edward jokes. There are some edward islander jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these edward edward scissorhands puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Edward Jokes and Puns

Say what you want about Edward Scissorhands...

but I think he's a pretty sharp guy.

Why was Edward late for work at the NSA?

He was Snowden.

Why isn't Edward leaving Russia?

...because he's snowed in.

Edward joke, Why isn't Edward leaving Russia?

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

Why couldn't Edward leave Russia?

He was Snowden!

Why didn't Edward leave his house?

Because he was Snowden.

Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

He'll be Snowden.

Edward joke, Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter?

Last night I hooked up with Edward Snowden's sister.

believe me, she's the REAL whistle blower.

For the next two days you can call me Edward...

I'll be snowed in

Have you heard about Edward Snowden's brother Jon Snowden?

He knows nothing...

Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name?

Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar.

You can explore edward harrison reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean edward rogers dad jokes. There are also edward puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

The cow says "Moo." The pig says "Oink." The dog says


Hydrogen is a light, odorless gas, which, given enough time, turns into people.

\- Edward Robert Harrison, *Smithsonian Magazine*, December, 1995.

Edward Snowden just joined Twitter. Almost immediately he got more followers than the NSA.

Luckily for the NSA, they follow a lot more people than Snowden.

The NSA wants Edward Snowden to leave Russia.

NSA: Hey Edward, you should really come back to America so we can talk.

Edward: I can't. I'm Snowden.

Why is Edward still in Russia?

Because he is Snowd*en*

Edward joke, Why is Edward still in Russia?

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en!

(according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

A guy is talking with his friend Edward...

...and asks him:
-What do dead and black people have in common?
-Well, I don't know.
-They both get a rest, Ed.

What's Edward Elric's favorite band?

My Alchemical Romance

Why didn't Edward get on the plane?

Cause it was snowed-in.

What do you call a mythical milkshake?


(credits to my friend Edward Feng for this really dumb pun)

Those childhood days(real incident)

I am sharing my childhood event and this makes me laughs hilariously

Teacher (on phone): You say Edward has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

How many Edward Snowden's does it take to know what is going on in a Clinton administration?

**The server you are attempting to connect to has been unintentionally disabled, wiped, and burned. But not in a gross negligent manner. **

The bad weather kept my friend Edward from going to work today

He's Snowden

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

I legally changed my name to Edward Genocide... can call me Ed G.

What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard?

Edward Snowed In

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th.

"Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."

What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?

Edward Snowed-in

What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama?

Pardon me

Why cant Edward leave Russia?

Hes Snowden!!

Why couldn't the hacker leave his house in the winter?

Because he was Edward Snowed-in.

Why couldn't Edward go to school?

because he was Snowden.

Edward G Robinsons father became a woman, and his mother became a man. He has been very open discussing this.

He has trans parents, see

Why was Edward stuck in Russia?

He was Snowden

Why can't Edward leave the Moscow airport in the winter?

because he's Snowden.

Wanna know how to defeat Edward Scissorhands?

Just throw rock.

Something interesting I learned about Edward VIII

He has the distinction of being the only person ever demoted from Lord Admiral of the Fleet to third mate on an American tramp.

What do you Call a Man with Three Pieces of Wood on his Head?

Edward Woodward.

What do you call a man with four pieces of wood on his head?

I don't know, but Edward Woodward would.

If you ever feel like you're walking on eggshells..

Imagine Edward Scissorhands with an itchy scalp.

Where's the best place for Edward Snowden to hide?

Wallstreet. No one there ever seems to get prosecuted.

A few nights after his wives funeral, Edward woke up stiff as a rod.

Mourning wood.


My friends and I did a Battlestar Galactica cosplay for Comicon, but my costume sucked

I looked like Edward James Almost

Why has Edward been in Russia so long?

Because he was Snowden.

Teacher : Today will be having sex ed!

Edward : Not again...

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

Ag I tat Ed.

I'm veeeerrrryyyyy agitated.

I was with a deaf girl who knew sign language, we were watching that movie where Johnny Depp has blades for fingers. I couldn't remember what that character was called so I sign to her, What's that character's name?

Edward, says her hands.

What were Edward Smith's last words?

"Wow! She's really wet now!"

True story

My fathers name is Edward, Ed for short, and my mother's name is Alice. The joke was if you have a problem with Ed, see Alice.

Why did Edward Woodward have so many d's in his name?

Because without them he would've been called Ewar Woowar.

People often ask me if I'm team Edward or team Jacob

I'm actually team Jack Daniels

Edward Jack gets a job...

Edward Jack gets a job at an average-paying office. He's popular among his co-workers, and his boss who speaks rough english. He fired a guy buy saying, You no job good! Since the boss can't pronounce Edward well, he calls him E. Jack.

One day Edward woke up late, got stuck in traffic, and was late to work. He got yelled at by his boss who said, E. JACK! YOU LATE!

Edward Carrington Marshal, the only son of John Marshall, who was the original owner of the famous Liberty Bell, was found dead.

Police suspect Will Smith, since his fresh prints were found on the bell heir.

Forgive me if it's a repost, I am not sure.

Rick: What is the name of your car?

Edward: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.

Rick: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol

"Edward, I gave you scissors for hands, but don't let that define who you are"

Ok. BTW what's my last name?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the edward john edwards jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working edward edward cullen piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes