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Educated Jokes

52 educated jokes and hilarious educated puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about educated that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Educated Short Jokes

Short educated jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The educated humour may include short education jokes also.

  1. The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd. They've left those kids a loan.
  2. They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
  3. I was fired for sending one of my students to detention "for being tardy". Special education just wasn't for me.
  4. Every year we spend more on coffee than we do on educating our children how do we sleep at night?
  5. Donald Trump has done so much good for American education. Now instead of citing my sources on an English paper, I can just write down, "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it."
  6. I offer my kids $500 for every A on their report card.It sends the message that education is a priority in our household. And it costs me absolutely nothing since my kids aren't that bright.
  7. I read the other day that Penn State has spent $237 million defending the university during the Sandusky lawsuit. Think of how many peoples' education that would pay for. At least 4 or 5.
  8. Psychic: I'm sorry to say that you are going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on your education. Man: How do you know this?
    Psychic: Mostly in tuition.
  9. America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole day.
  10. There's a new study out from the Department of Education... It shows that two thirds of Americans don't understand fractions and the other half don't care.

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Educated One Liners

Which educated one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with educated? I can suggest the ones about academic and knowledge.

  1. I like my women like I like my slaves Educated and free.
  2. Why are fish poorly educated? All the schools are below C level.
  3. I'm making a documentary about the American education system. Shooting starts soon.
  4. There are only 2 things missing in Indian Education System: (1) Education.
    (2) System.
  5. The American Education System
  6. Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because Somalia doesn't have an education system
  7. Why do Hippies do so well at University??? They are all about "Higher" education man!!!
  8. Dear Board of Education, So are we.
    Sincerely,
    Students
  9. What do Australians get from education? Koalafications
  10. Educated people are hot Because they have more degrees
  11. What do you call the kids claiming "We don't need no education"? Comfortably Dumb
  12. My kid says he's not interested in school - so he tried joining the Board of Education.
  13. Rest In Peace, American Education Coming to an end in DeVos't way imaginable.
  14. Why are educated people hotter than everyone else? Because they have more degrees!
  15. Where do pirates get their education? Boarding school

College Educated Jokes

Here is a list of funny college educated jokes and even better college educated puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A bank teller decides to leave his job to go back to college for an education in chemistry. Turns out he had a compound interest.
  • Where does a toxicologist go to get the best possible education? A Poison Ivy League College.
  • Why are colleges starting to teach quantum computing? When professors try to explain binary states, the students tell them to go educate themselves.
  • Did you hear about the college for dolphins? It was for educational porpoises only.
  • Do you know what an education major gets when they graduate from college in Oklahoma? A map to Texas.
  • What did Yoda say, when someone handed him the paper, that finalised their college education? Ooh, a master's thesis!
  • Multivariate calculus is to be put on all college entrance exams under Trump's new education plan. Trump wants to make America gradient again.
  • I went to college to get a better education. Decided on a Liberal Arts major.
  • Why didn't h**... get tertiary education? He couldn't stand Jew-near college.
Educated joke, Why didn't h**... get tertiary education?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about educated can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of educated puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Fun-Filled Educated Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about educated you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean employed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make educated prank.

It's strange to see Christians advocating abstinence only s**... education...

According to their own religion, even abstinence isn't 100% effective.

Finally, a blonde joke I haven't heard before…

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun k**... a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.
'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says,
Because I'm the Goalie!

**

My teenage daughter came home in a rage.

"I've just had s**... education in school today, Dad!
You lied to me!
You told me if I have s**... before my sixteenth birthday my boyfriend will die!"
I put down my paper: "Oh, he will sweetheart, he will.

Good ol'e USA

18: can I buy a bottle of wine?
USA: no that's i**... & irresponsible
18: can I go $50,000 into debt for education?
USA: we encourage it

My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. We had s**... education today dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have s**... before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die! I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…

Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.

Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?"

Me: I don't know. Emerg?
Wife: Nah, I want something lower stress. Hey, what about sleep medicine?
Me: Sleep medicine?
Wife: Like, helping people with sleep disorders and such. I wonder what sort of education i'd need?
Me: Probably night school.

A man walks into a job interview...

He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.
"So son, where did you receive your education?"
The man replied "Yale".
The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"
The man replied "Yack Yackson".

A blond Joke I've only heard once before.

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun k**... a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.
'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says,
"Because I'm the Goalie!"

A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.

Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produce photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied.
They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon"

What is s**...?

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's s**...?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"

s**... education

Dave's wife said to him, "If our kids are old enough to ask a question about s**..., then they are old enough to be told a truthful answer."
Just then his son came home from school and asked him what a b**... was.
"Son," said Dave, "I can't remember."

They say you can't get a decent job without education.....

They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!

A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.

The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.
He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"
(still no answer)
He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...
...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"

PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.

Health Class

Three boys received their grades from their s**... education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F.
"One day we should get her for this," said the first boy.
"I agree. But what should we do?" said the second.
"I've got it!" said the third. "We can kick her in the nuts!"

Why don't they teach Driver's Ed and s**... education on the same day in the Middle East?

They don't want to wear out the camel.

A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out.

A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it.
"I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he told me last week that he has decided to be a Christian. Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"
"Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you, I, too, brought up my boy in the faith, put him though university, cost me a fortune, then one day he came to me and told me he has decided to become a Chrsitian."
"What did you do?" Asked the lawyer.
"I turned to God for the answer," replied the Rabbi.
"And what did he say?"
He said, "Funny you should come to me..."

I just made this one up so cut me some slack...

A man and his wife are at the beach and she catches him staring at a beautiful woman. Predictably she gets mad at him.
Man: Honey, you know I only have eyes for you!
Wife: Then why are you ogling that woman over there?
Man: My dear, I assure you it doesn't mean anything. It is purely for educational purposes.
Wife: What do you mean?
Man: I've always wanted to study a broad!
(I'm sorry)

Educated joke, Psychic: I'm sorry to say that you are going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on your educa

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these educated jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.