The Best 35 Eddie Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Eddie jokes. There are some eddie johnny jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these eddie bert puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Eddie Jokes and Puns
Why the big pause................................?
Said the man in the pub to the bear.
First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.
Eddie Murphy Cosby joke - SNL joke controversy!
Eddie Murphy: But if you would have told me 30 years ago that I would be this boring, stay-at-home ... house dad and Bill Cosby would be in jail, even I would have took that bet.
Who is America's Dad now?
Why did Eddie Vedder take the fiber supplements?
He needed to have an Even Flow.
The Eddie Izzard Diabetic Suicide Prevention Hotline
1-800-CAKRDTH
When pearl jam comes on and you're like...
It doesn't get Eddie Vedder than this
I hope Jackie Chan doesn't go the way of Eddie Murphy...
I probably wouldn't be able to discern if he was playing every character in a movie or not.
Why did Billy throw out his Pearl Jam CDs?
Cause he didn't know Eddie Vedder
After rumors of his death, Eddie Vedder takes to social media...
The Pearl Jam front man assures fans that, "Ooh ho I-hi, Iiiii, I'm still alive."
What does Eddie Van Halen say when he sees a really cool guitar?
"I'd tap that!"
One day Eddie Vedder and Bob Dylan got into an argument.
nobody knows why.
A farmer has three daughters when they were finally allowed to date it went something like this.
First daughter..... Guy knocks on the door and says "Hi I'm Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo and take her to a show is she ready to go?" Second daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says, "hi I'm Eddie I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?" Third daughter.... Guy knocks on the door and says "hi my name is CHUCK!" Dad promptly slams the door!!!!
You can explore eddie larry reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean eddie danny dad jokes. There are also eddie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What does a motorcycle and Eddie Hermida have in common?
They both killed suicide silence.
Pearl Jam's "Alive" song just came on the radio...
You don't gotta rub it in Eddie Vedder.
I heard Eddie Vedder hates every insurance mascot out there...
Even Flo.
Eddie Stobart Movie
There's an Eddie Stobart movie just been released and is airing in cinemas now. I went to go watch it at my local cinema. The actual movie sucked but at least the trailer was good.
I hated Shrek
Eddie Murphy was just a real jackass
To cheer me up my fiancee got me tickets to Pearl Jam.
But three songs in I still wasn't feeling Eddie Vedder
A farmer has three daughters.
A boy knocks on the door and says "I'm Eddie and I'm here to take Betty for spaghetti."
The farmer calls Betty and she goes on her date with the young man.
Another boy knocks on the door and says to the farmer "I'm Joe and I'm here to take Flo to the show".
The farmer calls Flo downstairs and the two go to the show.
A third boy then knocks on the front door and says "I'm Chuck..." and the farmer shoots him.
Another three vampires go into a bar and sit at a table.
The waitress comes over and asks what they want to drink. The first asks for a glass of O-positive. The second asks for a glass of B-negative. The third says, "I'm on a diet, so I'll just have a glass of plasma."
The waitress turns to the bartender and says, "Eddie! Two bloods and a blood light!"
What did David Lee Roth use to suppress his asthma attacks?
an Eddie Vanhaler
Eddie Vedder's LED lamp bulb stops working...
He goes out to buy some replacements, and sees that the colour options available consist of blue and yellow.
After testing both colours of bulb on his lamp, he decides that he likes the yellow LED better.
TIL: For the past decade, Eddie Murphy has been researching and studying the health benefits of almonds.
He has become the Nutty Professor.
I had a bad dream last night...
Eddie Stobart was chasing me.
It was a logistical nightmare.
I love dark humor...
Eddie Murphy, Kevin Hart, Kat Williams, Chappelle
What kind of food does venom not eat
Eddie broccoli
If God had written the Bible
The first line should have been 'It's round.' – Eddie Izzard
Q. Which shredding guitarist is best for putting out electrical fires?
A. Eddie Van Halon.
What does Eddie Vedder like to wear to bed?
his pearl jammies of course!
Don't Swear At Other Drivers!
Eddie was driving down the road and a met a car coming the other way. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig'. The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. Then his car hit the pig.
The three dates.
A farmer wants to meet his daughters boyfriend before their date a few minutes later the doorbell rings the boy at the door says my name is Joe I'm here for Flo we are going to the show is she ready to go, later the door rings again and another boy says my name is Eddie I'm here for Betty we are going to eat spaghetti is she ready again a boy rings the doorbell and he says my name is Tucker and I'm here to... and the farmer shot the boy dead immediately.
Made some homemade Pear Jam today...
Can say it doesn't get Eddie Vedder than that!
50 famous musicians were polled, asking which LED colour they liked best.
Only one cared enough to answer.
Eddie Vedder said he liked the yellow LED better.
What do you get when you cross Eddie Murphy with Eddie Money?
Two Tickets to America
Before leaving for a battle, King Arthur puts a strong iron chastity belt on his wife Guinevere and entrusts the key to his most loyal knight, Eddie. Then King Arthur departs.
Five minutes into his journey, King Arthur hears Eddie screaming for him to stop. King Arthur signals his steed to halt and waits for Eddie to catch up.
"Eddie!" the king says, "What's the matter?"
"Your highness," says Eddie. "You gave me the wrong key."
R.I.P. dad
My dad passed away yesterday (this is true). He was 87 and had a good innings. We've done the bulk of our grieving and all is good. My brother sent me this message this morning:
"I reckon dad has already told Eddie Van Halen to turn the volume down."
___________________
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the eddie eddie izzard jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working eddie eddie murphy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.