ecstatic Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious ecstatic puns

I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife

She was delighted. I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough. But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts! Women, I can't figure them out.

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I went up to this really cute homeless girl and asked if I could take her home

She looked ecstatic until I picked up her box and started walking away

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I can't figure women out...

I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted.

I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic.

I spent $1,000 on lip job for her and she couldn't thank me enough.

I spent $50 on a blowjob for myself and she lost her shit! Women, I can't figure them out.

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My son came home from school absolutely ecstatic about gay marriage being legalised today.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked him, "Have you even got a boyfriend?"

He scowled at me and just said "It's the principle Dad"

"Really?" I replied "Well, at least it's not the priest again".

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My ex is like the Mona Lisa

It's not that she is pretty or anything, but I would be ecstatic if I came home to find her hanging in the living room

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My ex wife is like the Mona Lisa

I mean, she's not that pretty or anything, but I would be damn near ecstatic if I came home and found her hanging in the living room

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Why 6 was really afraid of 7

6 was just a normal girl, she met 7 on a dating app. They went out several times after that and a few dates later 7 proposed. 6 was ecstatic, they got married within the month and when they moved into a new house they quickly made friends with their neighbors, 9 and 10. 6 soon noticed strange behavior in 7, he was going out late at night to other people's houses. One night 6 saw 7 leave into the neighbors house. She decided to follow him in and was horrified. Blood stains led up to the darkened kitchen where she discovered some thing she could never unsee. 7 had done it. 7 8 9.

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I told my son that I found his hamster.

He was ecstatic. Until I said it was in the vacuum cleaner.

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Little Johnny is in math class

And the teacher asks, "If five birds are in a tree and you shoot two, how many are left?"

Ecstatic, Johnny replies, "None, the rest fly away!"

The teacher replies, "No, there are 3. But I like your thinking."

So johnny asks, "There are three women each with an ice cream cone. Thr first just licks the tip, the second licks around the base, and the third licks all over and really gets into it. Which one is married?"

"Why, the third of course."

"No, the one with the ring on her finger, but I like your thinking."

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First time sex

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to
meet, and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her
boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and
make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he
takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the
boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and
all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house
and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come
on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated.

The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."


The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was the pharmacist!"

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I had to break up with my girlfriend...

Me and my Japanese girlfriend had been dating for around 9 months before she really started becoming attached and really clingy. I decided that the best thing for me to do was to end the relationship. When I told her she took it surprisingly well, and she didn't get upset or anything. I was ecstatic! But she turned up to my house the next day and asked where we were going for dinner. I was confused and I told her to have a seat whilst I informed her that our relationship was OVER! This time when I told her she was crying, kicking and screaming.

I guess the only way to make the Japanese really understand is to drop the bomb twice

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I'm never allowed to spend money on myself

I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted. I spentΒ Β Β another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn'tΒ  thank me enough. But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts!Β Β Β Women, I can't figure them out.

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So this guy has really small hands...

He's with a group of his friends and he says "hey guys I have really small hands, I bet I have the smallest hands in the world. I should get it checked at the Guinness Book of World Records" so he goes and gets it checked out, meets back up with his friends and they can see his excitement before he has the chance to even tell them, he did have the smallest in the world. So another guy in the group says "hey you know what, I have really small feet, maybe I have the smallest feet in the world. I should check it out too." Sure enough when he makes it back to his friends he's clearly ecstatic, he has the smallest feet in the world. So finally the last of the group says "well shit, I have a really small penis. It has to be the smallest in the world, I'm going to check it out with the Guinness Book of World Records as well." Upon returning his friends can see how livid he is. "Whats the matter man don't you have the smallest penis in the world?" To his reply "Who the fuck is (insert your name here, or if your telling the joke the name of someone your telling the joke to.)?!"

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I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife.

I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough! But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts!!! Women, I just can't figure them out!

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Dinner with parents

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a
dinner with her parents.



Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.



The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip
to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his
first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the
boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.



At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to
buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.


That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door.


"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"


The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's
parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes,
and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.


10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over
and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious..'
The boy turns, and whispers back,


'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

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3 guys are discussing their sex life.

The Frenchman says, "after having sex with my wife she's so ecstatic that she flouts an inch above the bed.

The Italian says, "after I give my wife oral sex she's so ecstatic that she floats a foot above the bed.

The Australian says, "after I screw my wife I wipe my cock on the curtains and she hits the fucking roof."

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Travel to Mars

After years of work and billions of dollars, we can send a single astronaut to Mars and back. Jimmy is chosen to go on the mission with zero possibility of communication until he returns 10 years later. With a huge celebration, the shuttle takes off and the wait begins. After 10 years, Jimmy returns. Everyone is ecstatic, scientists, politicians and reporters all ask the same question: "Is there life on Mars?"

"It's a dead, stupid planet" answers Jimmy, shrugging. Everybody is sad, disappointed, accepting defeat.

When he's back at his house, his kid asks again "Dad, is there really no life on Mars?"

"Okay, so all the stores close at 2pm and they don't have whiskey, would you call it a life?"

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An artist, a baker and an engineer are in line to be beheaded...

The artist goes first. They put his head in the guillotine and release the mechanism. It stops 3 inches short! The king decides that he'll be merciful and releases him! He's ecstatic!

The baker is next. They put his head in the guillotine and release it. This time it stops 2 inches short. The king also decides he'll be merciful and releases him.

Lastly, the engineer. They put his head in the guillotine and release it. It stops a hair from his head. The engineer screams "I SEE THE PROBLEM!"

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New hearing aide

A friend of mine got new a hearing aid and he was ecstatic over how much better he could hear.

"It's like night and day", he said. "I can't believe all the sounds I was missing"

I asked, "What kind is it?"

He answered "about a quarter to four"

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Starting Early

There was a little girl named Suzy and she liked to play with one of the little boys in her neighborhood named Jack after school. One day, Suzy comes home ecstatic and her mother asks, "Suzy, why are you so excited?". Suzy replies "I was playing with Jack and he said he'd give me a dollar if I climbed the tree in our yard and I did. So now I have a dollar!" The mother realizes her little Suzy is wearing a dress and puts two and two together. "Suzy," the mom starts to say, "Jack didn't pay you that dollar to climb the tree, he tricked you so he could look at your panties. Don't let him trick you like that again." Embarrassed, the little girl agrees to not fall for any more of Jack's clever tricks. The next day, the mom is sitting in the living room when Suzy bursts through the door ten times more excited than yesterday. "Mommy! I just got 10 dollars from Jack to climb that tree!" The mother, in a scolding tone says, "Suzy! I thought I told you that Jack is just tricking you to look at your panties!" But the little girl smiles and says, "Don't worry mom! I tricked Jack because I didn't wear any!"

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Dave stumbles upon an oil lamp

Dave then picks up the lamp and begins to rub some of the dust off of it. Then out of nowhere a genie comes flying out of it. Dave is ecstatic and cannot believe his luck. The genie then begins to talk to him:
Genie: Dave, you have released me from my lamp, I shall now grant you three wishes.
Dave: I wish to find the woman of my dreams.
Genie: You wish has been granted.
A woman then appeared next to Dave.
Genie: You have two more wishes.
Dave: I want to be rich.
Genie: Your wish has been granted.
Rich: Actually, I would like to have a lot of money.

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Superman was flying over the city

When he looked down he saw Wonder Woman sunbathing on a roof, naked. As he's flying, Superman gets the crazy idea. He thinks about it and thinks about it for a bit then decides, What the hell . So he flies down, does the deed, and flies back into the sky, all in half a second. When he's back up in the sky, he's ecstatic. All he can think is Holy shit! I just had sex with Wonder Woman and she doesn't even know it! So he flies on, happy to not have have been caught.

Meanwhile, back on the roof, Wonder Woman jumps up and asks, What was that?
While the Invisible Man said, I don't know, but my ass hurst so bad!

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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.


That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"


The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.


A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.


10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.


Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."


The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

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A man's wife has been in a coma for 6 months....

Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when she touches her. Ecstatic, they go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The husband finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor begins to flat-line... no pulse... no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. "What happened?!?" they asked.

"I don't know!" exclaimed the husband. "I think she's choking!"

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I said to my wife that I couldn't be with any other woman.

She was ecstatic until I said the last two words: "Could I?"

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I can't figure women out...

I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted.

I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic.

I spent $1,000 on lip job for her and she couldn't thank me enough.

I spent $50 on a blowjob for myself and she lost her shit! Women, I can't figure them out.

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My dog loves chasing cars

He was ecstatic when I told him I was taking him to see Snow Patrol in concert

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A Latino couple have two twins

One is named Juan, and the other is named Jamal. The mother is ecstatic because she had a pair of beautiful twins. However, they can only afford to raise one. After much debate between the mother and father, they decide to give up Jamal for adoption and to keep Juan. Many years go by. One day, the mother says to the father, its been so many years, I wonder what Jamal looks like. My dear boy must be so big by now. The father replies, well, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.

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I was ecstatic to have an out-of-body experience...

...in fact, I was beside myself.

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A fortune teller won $540 on the National Lottery..

A fortune teller won $540 on the National Lottery - She was neither ecstatic or too downhearted about it.
Just a happy Medium.

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I wish Gene Wilder was still alive today...

He'd probably be ecstatic knowing one of his oompa loompa's grew up to be president :')

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Pope came to the balcony and said "Love All"

People were ecstatic. then he threw a tennis ball in the crowd and said 15-love

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I just won a dead lifting competition between a few friends.

I was ecstatic but the graveyard keeper wasn't very happy.

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Last week, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder...

At first, I was ecstatic.

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how can someone feel ecstatic and devastated at the same time?

when their doctor tells them that this is the last colonoscopy they'll ever have.

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What are the most funny Ecstatic jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Ecstatic? Well, here are the best Ecstatic dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Ecstatic pick up lines to share with friends.

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