Economist Jokes
64 economist jokes and hilarious economist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about economist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Lighten up your economic knowledge with these ten jokes featuring economists, analysts, and mathematicians. Laugh at the funniest bits of economic wisdom, from birthday puns to puns about the economy. Enjoy the top 10 economist jokes for a smart chuckle!
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Funniest Economist Short Jokes
Short economist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The economist humour may include short economics jokes also.
- An economists left leg is on fire and his right leg is frozen... He says "on average I'm perfectly fine".
- Why was Noah a great economist? He kept his stock afloat while everything else was in liquidation.
- An economist walks by a hundred dollar bill ... ... on the sidewalk but decides not to pick it up, because if it were really there, someone would have picked it up already.
- How many economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. They just keep going on and on about how the last one broke.
- Why is it so hard for economists to go gluten free? Because their food preferences are very sticky.
- DYK that if you lined up all the world's economists end to end... ...they still wouldn't reach a conclusion?
- Two economists fall into a hole they realize they are trapped, and so they come up with a plan. The first step in their plan is... assume a ladder.
- Economists... If all the economists in the world were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
- Economic research Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle attract the most interest.
- Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle draw the most interest.
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Economist One Liners
Which economist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with economist? I can suggest the ones about geologist and capitalist.
- What do you call an economist that likes to eat? An economnomnomist
- Why did they make economists? To make the weather guys look good.
- A broken clock is right twice a day. Which makes it more accurate than economists.
- Teach a parrot the words supply and demand, and you've got yourself an economist.
- What do you call a parrot that repeats "Supply and Demand" over and over? An economist.
- How does an economist open a can of beans? "Assume you have a can opener..."
- Ever meet an economist with a DeviantArt page? All they talk about is inflation
- I went to an economist's convention There was no free lunch
- Why do economists love sewage treatment plants? Because they are a utility.
- Why do economists exist? So accountants have someone to laugh at.
- What do you get when you put five economists in the same room? Six opinions.
- Why we have economists? To make weathercasters feel good.
- What does an economist call the munchies? Joint demand.
- The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously.
- An economist attended a key party He said it was fun-gible
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Economist Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about economist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean biologist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make economist pranks.
A geologist, physicist and an economist are marooned on a desert island with nothing to eat.
A can of soup washes ashore. They ponder how to open it. The geologist says, 'Let's smash it open with a rock.' The physicist says, 'Let's heat it up and blow it open.' The economist says, 'No, no. You guys will lose most of the soup. Let's just assume we have a can opener.'
An economist, a chaos theorist, and a statistician are trying to shoot a deer for dinner with a bow and arrow...
The economist assumes no wind, and misses five feet to the left. He hands over the bow to the chaos theorist, who overestimates the effect of the wind, and misses five feet to the right. The statistician pumps his fist in the air and exclaims: "We got him!".
A chemist, a physicist, and an economist...
are all trapped on a desert island, trying to figure out how to open a can of food.
"Let's heat the can over the fire until the can explodes" says the chemist.
"No, no," says the physicist, "lets drop the can onto the rocks from the top of a tall tree"
"I have an idea," says the economist. "First, we assume a can opener..."
Grocery Economics
A man and his economist friend are having lunch.
the man mentions that he's noticed something strange when he buys groceries each week. "I always buy a tub of margarine, but I've noticed that, even though it's the same price every time, there's less margarine in the tub. I can't figure out what's going on."
The economist friend nods with a knowing smile and responds "what you have there is a case of the Law of diminishing Margarinal returns."
I missed yesterday's "most intellectual joke" thread, so I'll just leave this here instead.
Two economists are walking through town, when one of them stops suddenly and points to something thin and green on the sidewalk.
"Look there," he says to his companion. "Is that a $100 bill just lying there on the ground?"
"Impossible," the other replies. "If it was, someone would have picked it up by now."
An old joke no one I know likes
Two economists are sitting on a bench. One says to the other "do you understand the economy?"
The other economist says "Let me explain, I'm an economist. It starts--"
The other interrupts "Oh no, I understand. I'm an economist too. We can both explain the economy, do you *understand* it?"
An economist is walking down the street with a friend...
The friend points and says, "Hey, there's a twenty-dollar bill on the ground!" The economist says, "Can't be. If there was a twenty-dollar bill on the ground, someone would have picked it up by now."
A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on an island with nothing to eat
A can of soup washes ashore.
The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock.
The chemist says, "Let's build a fire and heat the can first.
The economist says, "Let's assume that we have a can opener." (Paul Samuelson)
An economist found himself one night in a bar standing beside a gorgeous woman.
"Would you be willing to sleep with me for $1 million? he asked her.
She looked him over. There wasn't much to see—but still, $1 million! She agreed to go back to his room.
All right then, he said. Would you be willing to sleep with me for $100?
A hundred dollars! she shot back. What do you think I am, a p**...?
We've already established that. Now we're just negotiating the price.
A historian and an economist are sitting on the porch of a nudist colony...
The historian asks, "Have you read Marx?"
The economist replies, "Yes, I think it's the wicker chairs."
An economist, an accountant and a lawyer decided to gamble....
And that's how stock markets came into existence!!!
How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Someone else has do it, because the economist won't know if the bulb is recessed properly until it has already been turned at least 2 quarters.
How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
All of them. Because that will generate employment and therefore more consumption, shifting the aggregate demand to the right.
Two economists walk down a road...
Two economists walk down a road and they see a twenty dollar bill lying on the side-walk. One of them asks is that a twenty dollar bill? Then the other one answers It can't be, because someone would have picked it up already, and they keep walking.
Why did the Economist cross the road?
Because Marginal Benefit (MB) was greater than Marginal Cost (MC)
Three men are on a train.
One is an economist, one is a logician, and the other is a mathematician.
They are riding into Scotland, as they pass a brown cow.
The economist says, "Look, the cows in Scotland are brown."
The logician says, "No, there are cows in Scotland of which at least one is brown"
The mathematician says, "No, There is at least one cow in scotland, of which one side appears to be brown from this distance"
There were two economists who were shipwrecked on a desert island.
They had no money but over the next three years they made millions of dollars selling their hats to each other.
A Engineer, a Chemist and an Economist get stranded on a island.
From the ship that crashed, some canned food washed ashore.
The Engineer says We need to open the cans with these rocks
The Chemist says We could blow the top off using a combination of these minerals I've found
The Economist says Ok, so let's assume we have a can opener
How many Keynesian economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just leave it and in six months it corrects itself.
One economist asks another economist, "How's your wife?"...
The other economist replies, "Compared to what?"
An economist was asked in a talk about how to solve 3 issues
"How would you solve the inevitable future problems of overpopulation, water and employment?"
"Well" he says, "In the future when the water get scarce, we will probably go to war so it can be secured, which will solve the employment problem, and the population should go down as well."
A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.
"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All they needed now was to chop down a tree to make the raft.
"That's easy," says the economist. "Let's assume an axe."
A Mathematician an Economist and an Account are at a bar
The bar tender asks them what 2+2 is. The Mathematician says it is 4. The economist says it depends on how the supply and demand curves are at the time but generally it is 4. The accountant puts down his beer, looks the bar tender in the eye and asks what do you want it to be?
An economist goes up to a girl he fancies at a bar.
He asks her, "I'll give you a million dollars if you will have s**... at me."
The woman, taken back by the offer, sizes up the economist and agrees.
Now the economist adds, "Actually, I changed my mind. I'd rather do it with you in turn for a hundred dollars."
The woman being insulted, retorted, "What am I, some p**...?"
"Oh, we already established that. Now we're just negotiating price. "
A couple economists are strolling down the street
One looks in a store front window and says "That's a nice pair of shoes". The other replies, "Nonsense, if there was a nice pair of shoes, someone would have looted them already."
Ronald Reagan asks a mathematician: "What is two plus two?"
The mathematician replies "Four, Mr President."
Unsatisfied, Reagan asks a statistician. "What is two plus two?"
The statistician says "Based on our research, most people think it's between 3.8 and 4.3."
Still unsatisfied, Reagan asks an economist: "What is two plus two?"
"What do you want it to be, Mr President?"
My wife is an economist and I am an engineer.
I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said in my best engineer voice, Hey sweetheart, why don't you utilize the load maximization principle and carry all the items you need in one trip, thereby minimizing total distance travelled?
Well don't you know, she loved my suggestion!
It used to take her 11 minutes to make her breakfast… now I do it in 5.
What do plumbers and economists have in common?
They both deal with g**... domestic product.
For all you economics enthusiasts
Three economists go hunting and come across a deer.
The first economist aims and fires but the bullets misses and goes a little to the left.
The second economist aims and fires but the bullet misses and goes a little to the right.
The third economist starts celebrating and exclaims yahoo!!! We got it!!!
A man went to his doctor
After several tests, the doctor returned to the exam room and told him "I'm terribly sorry sir but according to our tests you have barely a year left to live."
"That's horrible!" said the man. "Is there nothing I can do?!"
The doctor replied "Well, my advice is to become a vegan, marry an economist and move to Iowa."
"Will that cure me?" asked the man
"No," said the doctor "but it'll make that year feel a LOT longer!"
A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job
A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job. He asks them, What is 2 + 2?
The mathematician answers, Exactly 4.
The accountant replies, Depending on what your interest, depreciation, and taxes are, approximately 2.
The economist walks over to the door, shuts and locks it, closes the blinds on the window, and leans over and softly asks, What do you want it to be?
