Eclipse Jokes

Funniest Eclipse Short Jokes

Short eclipse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eclipse humour may include short twilight jokes also.

1. This past week I made a couple bucks selling fake eclipse glasses I'm not to worried though, those suckers will never see me again.
2. I'm taking my wife for skydiving. So if you see a solar eclipse today, don't be surprised.
3. The eclipse did two things our political leaders cannot. It slowed global warming and gave us all something to look up to
4. If I had a dollar for every time someone said not to look directly at the eclipse... I'd have enough money to pay for the eye surgery I need now!
5. Someone told me you can watch a solar eclipse through a colander I tried but just ended up straining my eyes.
6. Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse. It truly is a site for sore eyes.
7. Know your eclipses. Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
   Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
   Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.
8. Total Eclipse Today I tried using a colander to view the eclipse.
   I think I've strained my eyes.
9. Fun fact: 99% of voters who live in the "path of totality" for the upcoming solar eclipse voted for trump. Which is ironic, because the *last* thing they wanted to do is make the country darker.
10. They shouldn't let students outside to see the eclipse today They need to protect their pupils.

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Eclipse One Liners

Which eclipse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eclipse? I can suggest the ones about sunset and moon phase.

1. Dad can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is No sun
2. What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon? An Apocaclipse.
3. How does the man in the moon cut his hair? (From my 9yo child) Eclipse it.
4. You can use a colander to look at the eclipse But be careful you don't strain your eyes
5. I couldn't see the eclipse of the sun today! 😡 Friggin' moon was in the way! 😡
6. Why do planets never get invited to summer soirées? They always try to eclipse the fun.
7. RIP to all the vampires who got fooled by the solar eclipse.
8. Why can't Java programmers see well? Because of the eclipse
9. What does the moon do when it needs a haircut? Eclipse it.
10. How does an astronaut cut his hair? Eclipse it.
11. My neighbor tried to charge me $20 to watch the eclipse from his balcony Daylight robbery
12. Eclipse is an acronym * Eyes
    * Cannot
    * Look
    * Into
    * Partial
    * Solar
    * Eclipse
13. How do you take a picture of an eclipse without a camera? Stare at it for 30 seconds
14. I've been wondering what the eclipse looks like... But I've been kept in the dark.
15. I have an eclipse joke... but it gets kind of dark.

Solar Eclipse Jokes

Here is a list of funny solar eclipse jokes and even better solar eclipse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did the buffalo say during the solar eclipse? Bison...
• My Dad is like the Solar Eclipse If i make direct eye contact he'll hurt me, but when it's safe for me to look at him he already left for milk and won't be back for several years.
• What do people who make memes and solar eclipses over the US have in common? It takes them both 38 years to go all the way.
• I am surprised Trump wanted to look at the solar eclipse today... Because if he went blind all he would see is black
• The next solar eclipse will be in 2024... Three or four presidents from now.
• You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse, But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?
• I'm really worried about the upcoming solar eclipse. Because I've always heard that once you go black, you never go back.
• Every solar eclipse, children are often reported missing... Because the parents cannot find their sun.
• Why is Annie the Orphan crying? There was a solar eclipse.
• I'll never forget this solar eclipse, it'll forever be seared into my mind... ...and retinas. I really should've worn some glasses.

Moon Eclipse Jokes

Here is a list of funny moon eclipse jokes and even better moon eclipse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What does the barber do to the moon's hair? Eclipse it.
• Eclipse is when earth is between sun and moon, what is it called when sun is between earth and moon ? Apocalypse
  P.S . My 11 yr old nephew said this and I found it very funny
• I saw a double eclipse today. Not only did the moon block out the sun, but the clouds did as well.
  :(
• Having lunch in town when I hear a father drop this gem on his son. How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
  Eclipse it.
• I'm very excited for the eclipse I'm glad the moon is finally getting its day in the sun.
• How is it called when a black person is mooning? Eclipsing
• What does the lunar eclipse have in common with the baboon? They both display a red moon.
• How does a barber cut the moon's hair? E-clipse it!
• Why was it so hard to get good pictures of the eclipse? Because mooning is considered indecent exposure.
• Full moon 🌕 Half moon 🌓 TOTAL eclipse

Lunar Eclipse Jokes

Here is a list of funny lunar eclipse jokes and even better lunar eclipse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you guys see the lunar eclipse the other night? I missed it, the earth was in the way.
• Did anybody else see the lunar eclipse tonight? I looked, but I couldn't see it.
• Decided to watch the lunar eclipse tonight... Couldn't see the moon

Ridiculous Eclipse Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about eclipse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean zodiac jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eclipse pranks.