The Best 52 Ebay Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ebay jokes. There are some ebay sell jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ebay cheep puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Ebay Jokes and Puns

eBay is so useless

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 18,061 matches

Ebay is way to hard to use

I searched for lighters, and all I got was 71,274 matches.

Ebay products are like sex

You look at it online a lot but never see it in real life

Ebay joke, Ebay products are like sex

I'm 50, and I have the cholesterol of a teenager.

It's amazing what you can find on eBay.

Ebay is great!

I just ordered a chicken and an egg. We shall see what one comes first.


My son was on eBay this morning.

Child services were not impressed with me.

My son was on eBay this morning

No bids yet

Ebay joke, My son was on eBay this morning

I bought a book on eBay called "How to Scam on eBay".

It still hasn't arrived.

Just ordered a chicken and and an egg off ebay...

Will let you know the results soon.

What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay?

One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.

Took down my rebel flag and peeled off my NRA sticker off the front door.

We have disconnected our home alarm system and quit the candy-ass neighborhood watch. We bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I have never felt safer and we're saving $49.99 a month!

You can explore ebay etsy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ebay online dad jokes. There are also ebay puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Saw a tv for sale on eBay for Β£5. Only problem was the volume button was broken.....

How can I turn that down?

I wish prostitutes would learn a lesson from eBay

...and do away with insertion fees.

I just sold all my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay

Imagine all the PayPal

I spent Β£96 on eBay today to buy a cheese grater once owned by Hitler and Saddam Hussein.

It was the grater of two evils.

I love eBay!

Sold my homing pigeons 4 times this month.

Ebay joke, I love eBay!

I saw a story about parents selling their kids on Ebay...

This is completely nuts, who does that? That's a child. A living being that **you** made. That stuff goes on Etsy.

eBay is useless...

...I wanted lighters but all they had were 31,415 matches.

Ebay needs to step their game up.

I searched for a cigarette lighter and 15,000 matches came up.


I searched eBay for lighters

But it only showed me 16,277 matches.

Put all my John Lennon memorabilia on Ebay

Imagine all the paypal

The dictionary I ordered on eBay had only blank pages

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

If you thought eBay was bad, don't even try Tinder...

Everytime I log in it says 'No Matches Available'

Just started my own business selling John Lennon memorabilia on Ebay...

Imagine all the PayPal.

I bought a book on eBay "How to scam people"

But it never arrived(((((

I always save my eBay shopping for after I come back from 4/20

That way I'm always the highest bidder

Mom#1- That's it. I'm done. I'm selling the kid on eBay

Mom#2- Don't be crazy. You made him. That does on Etsy

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Whatever you do, don't buy anything from eBay seller xx_Anna_xx

My wife bought a crocodile skin handbag from her. When the bag arrived, turned out to be snake skin... Anna conned her.

Tried to buy a Charlie Brown LP on ebay and got a Davy Jones album instead.

You know what they say.

You pay Peanuts, you get Monkees.

I've decided to sell all my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay

Imagine all the PayPal!

I went on ebay and searched for lighters

But all they had was 238,184 matches

Woman goes to a doctor with a tampon lodged inside her...

Doctor: So how did this happen?

Woman: I don't know, I mean I didn't get them from the store as usual, I saw a special deal on eBay, a hundred boxes for $1!

Doctor: A hundred boxes for $1? Didn't that sound suspiciously cheap to you?

Woman: Well I thought that too, so I checked the entire listing and it said plain and clear

One hundred boxes of tampons for $1...

...no strings attached!

My grandfather has a French rifle from WW2 for sale on eBay

The description reads "never fired. Dropped once "

Just boughtο»Ώο»Ώο»Ώ a Volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay.....

Swede car onlineο»Ώο»Ώ

What does a cannibal do after eating a vegetable?

Goes on eBay to see how much the wheelchair could sell for.

I bought a boomerang on eBay

It didn't work. Then I realised I bought it on no return

I'm selling Amazon gift codes on eBay.

If anyone's interested, they are in a mint condition and only used once.

Did you know there are tents surviving that Genghis Khan used to sleep in? I just scored one on eBay!

Thought you would appreciate my original Kahn tent.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters, but all they had was 13,239 matches.

An 18 year old supermodel is selling her virginity on eBay

For the low price of $80,000 you can have the worst sex of your life

eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters

All I found is 13.749 matches.

I love E-bay....

I sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.

I bought a volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay...

Swede car online!

My buddy told me he got laid off from his job reviewing vendors on eBay, Amazon, etc...

...so I said "Sorry to hear that, man. Let's go grab some meth and we'll tweak out to forget about it."

"Nah," he said. "I don't really feel like it."

"Come on," I urged. "A little crystal will do you good."

"I don't know..." he mumbled.

"Dude, let's get cranked already!" I implored.

"All right, man-- you fly, I'll buy!" he finally conceded.

Which just goes to show, if you want to pick up speed you've got to press on the ex seller rater.

I bought Bonnie Tyler's car recently on ebay, but it's rubbish...

Every now and then it falls apart

Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay ...

... for the 23rd time.

eBay is useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had were 13,749 matches.

I'm selling all of my John Lennon collection on EBay

Imagine all the pay pal

Got home from work and the kids had been on ebay all day

If they're still there tomorrow I'll lower the price.

eBay is so useless

I look up lighters and it gave me 15,000 matches

Got home today from work to find all my kids have been on eBay all day..

If they are still there tomorrow, I'm lowering the starting price...

Got home from work today to find my kids have been on ebay all day.

If they are still there tomorrow I will lower the price.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ebay trippin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ebay bidder piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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