Eating Vegetables Jokes
100 eating vegetables jokes and hilarious eating vegetables puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eating vegetables that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Eating Vegetables Short Jokes
Short eating vegetables jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eating vegetables humour may include short eating carrots jokes also.
- People that don't eat meat are called vegetarians, but what are people that don't eat vegetables? constipated
- What does the cannibal do after eating his vegetables? Goes to eBay to see what he can sell the wheelchairs for.
- Did you hear about the cannibal who visited the ICU ward? His doctor told him to eat more vegetables.
- What's the worst thing about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done.
- I went to my local all you can eat buffet... and there was this girl only choosing vegetables?
I thought, I've never seen herbivore. - What's the hardest thing about eating baby vegetables? Convincing the nurse that you're from the Make-a-Wish Foundation.
- What did John Lennon's mother say to get him to eat his vegetables? "Come on John, give peas a chance."
- A 7 y/o asks his mom at the dinner table... "Mom?"
"Yes, honey?"
"I can be whatever I want to be right?"
"Yes, dear."
"Then can I be a carnivore?"
"...Eat your vegetables." - Why do cannibal children go to the hospital? Because their mothers told them to eat their vegetables.
- I found a green vegetable in the shape of a clock. But I won't eat it. Not for the time bean
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Eating Vegetables One Liners
Which eating vegetables one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eating vegetables? I can suggest the ones about eating healthy and fruits and vegetables.
- My parents told me "you are what you eat" And thats why I don't eat vegetables.
- If vegetarians eat vegetables What do humanitarians eat
- Why did Stephen Hawking only eat meat? Because eating vegetables would be cannibalism.
- What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat? The wheelchair...
- What does Anakin do when Luke doesn't eat his vegetables? He force-feeds him
- Why did zombies attack the hospital? To eat their vegetables.
- What do you do after eating vegetables? Try to sell the wheelchairs
- My mum said I should eat more vegetables But the hospital banned me
- Is it okay to eat a lake monster's vegetables? Not Nessie's celery.
- Do you know why Cannibals eat Vegetables? Easy Prey
- What's the best vegetable to eat if your depressed? Desparagus
- I hate eating vegetables. The wheelchair doesn't go down easy.
- They say you are what you eat Guess I should cut out the vegetables
- What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable Fighting off N. Korean security
- Why didn't the cannibal eat the wheelchaired person? They don't eat vegetables.
Eating Vegetables Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about eating vegetables you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fruit vegetable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eating vegetables pranks.
What's the best thing about having vegetables for dinner?
They can only eat as much as you allow them to.
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"Mom, I don't like my little brother."
"Then just eat the vegetables."
Short self made joke, pretty offensive.
Did you hear about the cannibal who is a vegetarian? Yea, he only eats vegetables.
A man ate vegetables everyday, and the only thing he ate was vegetables, yet he was named the "Unhealthiest Man In The World." Why is this?
He was eating pizza.
A couple went out to eat ...
A couple went out to eat at a nice restaurant. The waiter came over to give them the specials of the night, "For our main courses, we have a nice roasted Salmon with a Cranberry-Mustard sauce or a tender Chicken fried steak." The lady replied that she'd have the salmon.
The waiter said, "Very good, madam. What about the vegetable?"
She said, "Oh, I'm sure he'll just order the Chicken Fried Steak."
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Eating vegetables is a lot like having s**....
If you're forced to do it as a kid, you won't like it as an adult.
A young vulture is tired of eating nothing but scavenged meat...
So he says to his father, "Dad, can't we eat something else for a change? I'd like to try some vegetables."
The father is outraged, claiming that vultures do not eat vegetables, that is not their way. But the young vulture doesn't give up. He asks again the next day, and the next, and the next. Eventually the father relents, and agrees on a compromise. The young vulture could eat some vegetables, but only if he finished his meat first.
The following day, the young vulture asks what they will be eating that evening. The father replies, "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peas when you are done."
Whats the only problem with eating vegetables?
Getting them back in their chair.
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If vegetarians eat vegetables....
....beware the Humanist!
Why do uniformed soldiers need to eat their fruits and vegetables?
If they don't, they'll be irregulars.
Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat
So eat loads of sweets
and pass on those vegetables
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Mom always told me to e**... vegetables...
I never could though, the wheelchair was just too g**....
This is a bit cruel, but one of my favorites:
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The Wheelchair.
What's the last thing you eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair
Vegetarians eat vegetables...
What do veterinarians eat?
(you thought I was gonna ask about humanitarians, didn't you?)
Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner
Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner. The waiter comes along and asks her what she will be eating tonight.
Margaret replies, 'I'll have the steak.'
The waiter then asks, 'What about the vegetables?'
To which Margaret says, 'They'll have the same as me.'
Don't eat the vegetables in hospital cafeterias
The police track you down after that, you see.
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Why didn't Jeffrey d**... eat vegetables?
He didn't like getting rid of all the wheelchairs
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Last night I ate out a handicapped girl
...my mother always told me to e**... vegetables
If vegetarians eat vegetables...
What do egalitarians eat?
I used to have a job eating vegetables
I hated it, but the celery was good
What do cannibal parents tell their kids when they become picky eaters?
Eat the vegetables
For those who can't eat their vegetables bc of the wheelchair:
There IS a chocolate shake with every one, all you have to do is pull out the straw.
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What do you call someone who only eats the purest of vegetables?
A veggie a**....
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The respirator.
(My dad told me this while he was cooking asparagus)
This may be a bit messed up.
If you eat one thing a lot, people tend to joke that you'll "become it".
I used to eat vegetables. Guess what I became.
What did John and Yoko say when their son wouldn't eat his vegetables?
"All we are saying is give peas a chance."
What is the best way to eat a vegetable?
Remove the wheelchair first.
What to do you call someone that doesn't eat meat OR vegetables?
Dead
People who eat vegetables are called vegetarians.
Remember that before you accept charity from a humanitarian.
How do you make it easier for your kids to eat vegetables?
Take 'em off the wheelchair
A gay guy is sitting watching tv and eating pizza.
That's all he does all day.
His father comes in and says, "I don't know anymore. Are you a fruit or a vegetable?"
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"Eat your vegetables....
... it puts hairs on your chest, look, I'm as hairy as a gorilla."
"Stop it mom, that's g**...."
What do you call a vegetable that demands you exclusively eat it over all other vegetables?
An ultimato
What kind of vegetable is the craziest to eat?
Plantains – it's just bananas!
Thought this up while at work today, might not be original but it gave me a chuckle :)
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Why should you never eat Jolly Green Giant vegetables?
Because he always stands over the corn and peas.
h**... h**... h**.......
They say you are what you eat
Well I don't want to become a vegetable
I don't eat vegetables
Last time I did I got my tooth chipped on the wheelchair.
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Two cannibals are sitting around a campfire.
One says to the other, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other says, "Then just eat the vegetables."
You are what you eat..
That's why I avoid fruit, nuts, and vegetables!
Saw my doctor recently
He said that I need to start eating more vegetables. So lately I've been a regular volunteer at the local women's hospital-intensive care unit.
My friend keeps talking about eating vegetables and I'm beginning to find it kind of disturbing.
I mean, I know they haven't really got a functioning brain, but they're still human.
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My son asked me why midgets were like that
I told him that they did not eat enough vegetables, now he is saying that he wants to become a midget and wont eat vegetables smh.
When I was in middle school, my "friends" used to force me to eat vegetables until I almost threw up.
They even started sending me pictures of vegetables on the internet, threatening to make me eat lettuce until I was sick. To this day, I still suffer from the effects of their rampant and traumatic fiber-bullying.
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I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl
Momma always taught me to e**... vegetables.
Chuck Norris Joke
When Chuck Norris was a child, he got is vegetables to eat his mom.
They say you are what you eat
No wonder my healthy grandma died as a vegetable.
They say you are what you eat...
So vegans are...... Vegetables
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Why did the cannibal eat his grandma?
Because she said,"Eat your vegetables."
What does a vegetarian vampire eat?
Vegetables.
Today marks 5 weeks of isolation...
I'm walking 2 miles a day, no meat, dairy or flour. Eating fresh vegetables and home cooked meals every day. The change has been fantastic! I feel great!
Zero alcohol, a healthy diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 1 hour home workout each day! Lost 20 lbs and gained muscle mass. I've even cut my screen time in half and am reading a book a week.
I have no idea who wrote this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste.
A vegan could depose Kim Jong Un right now...
They eat vegetables like him for breakfast.
What do you call a cannibal who doesn't eat vegetables?
Cannibal lecturer.
like hannibal lecter...
What rank does Corn have in the Vegetable Army?
Colonel!
I just thought of that while eating popcorn, I hope this hasnt been already posted.
I get a lot of solicitors at my house, salespeople, charity seekers, Jehovah's Witnesses, I've seen them all. But today I got someone at my door asking if I eat enough vegetables
I wasn't expecting some sort of spinach inquisition!
What did the cannibal mother say as her family entered the coma ward of the hospital.
Eat your vegetables.
I know its bad but everytime i hear the vegan teacher say that sentece its all i can think about.
Where do you find the best vegetables to eat?
The answers are very different for a vegan and a cannibal.
Food inspection
A food inspection officer went to 3 chicken farms
Farm 1
Inspector: What do you feed the chickens ?
Farmer 1: I feed them vegetables.
Inspector: WRONG! closed down this farm immediately
Farm 2
Inspector: What do you feed the chickens ?
Farmer 2: a little scared said i feed them fruits
Inspector: WRONG! closed down this farm immediately
Farm 3
Inspector: What do you feed the chickens ?
Farmer 3: terrified that his farm will be closed as well said
"i just give all the chickens a dollar and tell them you can eat whatever you want"
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Jeffrey d**...'s mother was over for a visit having dinner.
She says you know Jeffrey, I really don't like your friends.
He just shrugs & says well just eat the vegetables then.