Eating Healthy Jokes
45 eating healthy jokes and hilarious eating healthy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eating healthy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Eating Healthy Short Jokes
Short eating healthy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eating healthy humour may include short healthy eating jokes also.
- Chocolate is bad Taxi driver: Son, don't eat chocolate cause it's not healthy!
Guy: My grandfather lived 108 years.
Taxi driver: Eating chocolate?
Guy: No, minding his own business. - The reason why many Americans don't eat healthy, is because eating healthy would cause you to lose weight. And America never loses
- Subway A restaurant that managed to convince everyone that eating an entire loaf of bread is healthy.
- I make my girlfriend work out 5 times a week and eat healthy. I don't want her getting fat like my wife.
- I said to myself, "Thomas, today is the day you start eating healthy and exercising". Thank God my name isn't Thomas!
- Why don't people believe me when I tell them I have a date every night? What's wrong with eating healthy?
- What does Thanos like to eat? A healthy and perfectly balanced breakfast. As all breakfasts should be.
- My doctor told me to drink less, sleep more, eat healthy & exercise everyday. So today I'm making a big change in my life. I'm no longer going to that doctor.
- The best part about working out and eating healthy food: Eventually you'll be dead and won't have to do this anymore.
- My non-vegetarian friend told me to eat chicken, it's very healthy. I said no, it WAS healthy but you ate it.
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Eating Healthy One Liners
Which eating healthy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eating healthy? I can suggest the ones about healthy living and healthy food.
- What healthy item does Joe Biden enjoy eating? Forbiden fruit
- Why are tightrope walkers so healthy? They eat well-balanced meals.
- You should really eat more turnips. They're really healthy Turnip, for what?
- They say you are what you eat No wonder my healthy grandma died as a vegetable.
- In 2017 I'm going to start eating healthy again. This marks the end of my cheat decade.
- What does a healthy zombie eat? Vegans
- I heard it was healthy to eat nuts So I've been eating lots of doughnuts
- I eat healthy every day For about six hours
Between breakfast and lunch - Eating pork isn't healthy. Especially not for the pigs.
- How do people with s**... fetishes stay healthy? They eat lots of corn
Eating Healthy Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about eating healthy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean healthy diet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eating healthy pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man is being interviewed on live TV
Hello everybody. We are with Michael, who is 97 years old. Michael, tell us, what's your secret?
During the war, I s**... off a enemy soldier in exchange for food.
I meant about your age.
Ah… Eating healthy.
A priest wants to know how he can become a better priest..
.. so he asks the bishop. The bishop had only two points to make.
"Eat healthy and exorcise daily"
(Just thought of this on the can, is there any ways I can improve on it? Or do you know of any similar jokes to lighten up my day?)
A nutritionist is giving a speech at a conference on eating healthy
Red meat is terrible for your metabolism, soda rips apart your gastric wall. Fast food is almost all fat and sugar but there's one food that is the worst of all. Almost all of us eat it sooner or later and the negative effects can last for years after a single consumption. Does anyone know what this is?
After a moment of silence an elderly specialist sitting in one of the front rows gets up and says "wedding cake"
5 easy steps for eating healthier today
1. Go to kitchen
2. Look around in search of healthy snack
3. See cake sitting on counter
4. Eat all of it
5. Leave kitchen
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Sean Connery's doctor told him...
...that it wasn't healthy to keep eating entire eggs, shells and all. "Just give it up for 40 days in the spring, and I bet you'll feel better."
The actor took his advice, and returned after 40 days.
"How was it?" the doctor asked.
Sean Connery smiled. "Eggshell-Lent!"
Well, I finally have my resolutions written down for the new year.
Already planned to:
- Exercise at least three times a week
- Eat a healthy, balanced diet
- Get regular healthy sleep
- Spend more time reading, less time playing games
- Less energy drinks, more water
I'm going to turn my life around. This year is going to be great!
A man went to the doctor asking what he could do to live longer.
The doctor asked him some preliminary questions.
"Do you drink much?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you smoke?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you stay up late or go to wild parties?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you eat fatty or sugary foods?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you consume milk or dairy products?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you eat meat?"
"No, Doctor."
The doctor continued to ask the man about his lifestyle, and found that the man was leading a very healthy life. At this, the doctor was perplexed.
"So is there a way I can live longer?" The man asked.
The doctor replied, "Perhaps - but why would you want to?" :P
This man has a pain in his eye every morning...
He has a daily morning routine, he wakes up, washes his face, brews his coffee, he mixes it with a spoon, and drinks it. For some reason he always has a pain in his eyes.
So one day he goes to the doctor after becoming fed up of the pain. The doctor first asks him about his diet, and the man replies that he's been eating healthy. The doctor asks him about his routine, so he gives the man some props to recreate it. So the man proceeds to wash his face, brew his coffee, mix it with a spoon, and drink it.
The doctor sighs and asks, Have you ever taken out the spoon before you drink your coffee?
My girlfriend told me I should start eating healthy food...
So when I went to McDonalds for lunch, I decided: 2 BLT.
Finally !! 6 weeks without any sugar. Running 5 miles each day. stopped eating dairy and flour. The change in my body has already been fantastic! I feel great! Eating a healthy diet that is completely gluten-free and sugar-free. And working out for up to 2 hours every day! Lost 10Kgs.
I don't know whose status this is, but I was really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste it.
I'm so healthy, I eat lots of greens
the lettuce was green
the potato was green
the meat was green
Today marks 5 weeks of isolation...
I'm walking 2 miles a day, no meat, dairy or flour. Eating fresh vegetables and home cooked meals every day. The change has been fantastic! I feel great!
Zero alcohol, a healthy diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 1 hour home workout each day! Lost 20 lbs and gained muscle mass. I've even cut my screen time in half and am reading a book a week.
I have no idea who wrote this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I came up with it on the toilet
My personal trainer told me eat healthy like he does. I eat healthy, but not like him. He eats super clean and that is hard for me. I asked him what would be the benefit for me? He said he eats so clean he doesn't even have to p**... anymore.
I think he's full of c**....
Breakfast
Since we're all dad's here (our women and non-reproducing friends included) I'm hoping you can help me with some kid advice. You see my kids are always arguing they want sugary breakfasts. Froot-Loops and Pop Tarts or what have you.
How can I get them to eat something healthy?
My kids are imporridgable
The owner of my local health food store asked me if I wanted to know the secret of a long and healthy life.
"Sure -- let me know!", I replied.
He said, "Eat two raw onions every day."
"How could that possibly be a secret?"