Eating Carrots Jokes
52 eating carrots jokes and hilarious eating carrots puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eating carrots that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Eating Carrots Short Jokes
Short eating carrots jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eating carrots humour may include short eating vegetables jokes also.
- Two rabbits are eating carrots ...from farmer Brown's field. One turns to the other and says, "This carrot is pithy." The other rabbit says, "I guess so. I just pithed on it."
- A man goes to the doctor with a carrot in his nose, cabbage in his ears and ham over his eyes. What's wrong with me doc? He asks. The doctor replies Well it looks like you're not eating right.
- Dad joke: A woman goes to the doctor with... A carrot in her ear, a mushroom in her nostril and a piece of steak on the other ear.
"I see" says the doctor. "You're not eating right"! - A man goes to see the doctor. He has a carrot in his ear, a stick of celery up his nose and mash potato and peas in his hair.
Doctor says "You not eating right." - A guy walks into a drs office with a carrot in his ear.. ..and a piece of broccoli up his nose. The Dr told him he isn't eating right.
- Why do people eat carrots to help their eyesight? They should be eating oranges because they have vitamin C. haha
- A guy with a carrot in his nose, an eggplant in one ear and a cucumber in the other, goes to his doctor... "Doc, what's wrong with me?"
"Well, it appears as if you have an eating disorder." - Why are people encouraged to eat as many carrots as possible? To see all the black people in the dark.
- What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant?
An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots. - A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."
The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
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Eating Carrots One Liners
Which eating carrots one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eating carrots? I can suggest the ones about carrot and carrot up.
- Why don't snowmen eat carrot cake on their cake day? Tastes like boogers
- Sometimes when you eat too much carrot, you turn orange and you run for presidency.
- What do you get when rabbis eat too many carrots? Orange juice.
- Why do sailors eat so many carrots? It helps them sea better.
- What do rabbits eat when listening to Bruno Mars? 24 Carrots
- Why are most rabbits gold? They eat carrots
- What did the Bunny say to the Carrot? I'm going to eat you!
Cheeky Eating Carrots Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about eating carrots you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rabbit and carrot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eating carrots pranks.
Astute Diagnosis
A guy goes to the doctor, with a carrot up his nose. He's got a piece of celery in his other nostril, and a banana in his ear. He says,"Doc, I don't feel so good."
The doctor says,"You're not eating right."
The bear and the rabbit
A rabbit is minding his own business when a random bear comes and treat ens to eat the rabbit. The bear chases the rabbit until they find a magic lamp and they decide to rub it together. The expected gene appears and let's them both have 3 wishes each. The bear goes first and says " I wish for all the other bears in the forest to be females" and it was done. The rabbit then wishes for a lifetime supply of carrots at his house and it is granted. The bear then says " I want all the other bears in the country to be female" and it is granted. The rabbit's second wish is for a rabbit sized motorcycle and it is granted. Now the bear very confused about why the rabbit is wishing for such small things says " And for my last wish, I want all the other bears in the world to be female!". The gene grants the wish. The rabbit then says with a smile on his face "I wish that bear was gay." then drives off in his motorcycle.
Can't remember carrot joke
I remember seeing this one joke where a mom wanted her kid to eat his carrots and he had a funny comeback... but I can remember it.
It's not the one where he says, "Because I hate them!" and the mom replies, "But they like you" and he replies "Because I don't eat them"
A man goes to his doctor because he has a carrot in his ear..
He asks the doctor, "I don't understand, how can this happen? What's wrong with me?!" The doctor pauses for a moment and then says, "Well, you're not eating right."
A man goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose.
He has a stalk of celery in the other nostril and peas in his ears. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." The doctor says, "Well, you're not eating right."
Cucumber, carrot, banana - none of them used for scale
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me Doc?" he asks.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly!"
So a guy walks into the doctor's office with a celery stick in each ear and a carrot in each nose nostril...
He mumbles to the doctor "I think there's something wrong." to which the doctor replies "I don't think you're eating right."
Doctor's Visit
A man goes to the doctor and complains he's not feeling well.
The doctor looks at him and notices he has a stick of celery up one nostril a carrot up the other and broccoli sticking out of his ears.
The doctor says " I know what's wrong,your not eating properly"!
A woman goes to the doctor...
A woman goes to the doctor with a raspberry in her left nostril, a string bean in her right, a carrot in her right ear and a banana in her left. The woman says
"Doctor, I don't fell so well."
And the doctor replied
"Well for one thing, you're *definitely* not eating correctly."
Doctors Office
A guy walks into a doctors office. He has a piece of lettuce on his head, a string bean coming out of his nose and a carrot sticking out of his ear.
The doctor says, "I can see your problem right away, you're not eating right."
A man walks into the psychiatrist's office
A man walks into the psychiatrist's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear and he says,
"I don't know what's the matter with me lately"
The psychiatrist says, "You're not eating properly."
A v**... goes to a brothel...
He finds a nice young lady and the two go into a back room. He's never done this type of thing before so the h**... instructs him on what to do, telling him to begin by eating her out.
The man does as he's told, but while o**... pleasuring her he comes across a piece of a carrot. He thinks this must be normal so he continues.
Then he comes across a baby pea, again he is somewhat taken aback but he chalks this up to a lack of experience.
Finally he comes across a piece of corn, so he speaks up.
"Miss, are you sick?"
"No, but the last guy was."
I caught my sister m**... with a carrot
I was annoyed because I was gonna eat that later...
And now it's gonna taste like carrot....
A mother takes her crying baby to the hospital.....
The doctor gets out his little exam light and ends up pulling a Lima bean out of the kids left ear, a baby carrot out of one nostril, a Skittle and two peas out of the other nostril and a hunk of pear out of the kids' right ear.
The mom cringes as she watches all of this, then asks the doctor what's wrong with the kid.
The doctor shrugs a bit and says, "I'm not sure yet, but for one thing, he certainly isn't eating right."
A bunny escapes from a research facility
he runs out of the lab and joins some other bunnies in the field behind the building.
"hey there!" one of the bunnies says. "are you from the lab?"
"yeah. I'm from the lab"
"then you have a lot to learn about being a bunny" one of the other bunnies says.
he teaches the young bunny about how to eat carrots, hop, and etc.
"So, new friend, do you want to stay with us?" the wild bunnies chorus
"I'm sorry, but I have to go back. I'm dying for a cigarette!"
A doctor walked in to find a patient sitting on the exam table.
A doctor walked in to find a patient sitting on the exam table, with carrots sticking out of his nose, and broccoli coming out of his ears.
The doctor took one look at him and said, "Well I can tell right away you're not eating right".
I saw my sister m**... with a carrot......
I said, Come on, d**..., I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
last night I walking in on my sister m**... with a carrot
I was gonna eat but now it's gonna taste like carrots
I walked in on my sister m**... with a carrot which i planned to eat later
No thanks to her, now it's going to taste like carrots
What does a carrot say when it gets picked?
Nothing.
It can only silently scream into the abyss.
It has no mouth, yet it surely must have screamed when it was ripped from its comfortable life to face the cold, uncaring winds of its fate. It was a sheep to the s**....
And aren't we?
As a species, we have no other goal than continuation: eat, drink, sleep, reproduce, die. We are destined to die and to feel the unfeeling embrace of the void, and we have no escape.
Like the lamb, or the carrot, we are destined for the void.
Did you know the saying "to work up an appetite" originated from back when people would become hungry as the result of physical labor AND THEN consume food? Wow, the more you know!
These days, I've just been saying, "Man, I really j**... up the ability to binge-eat an entire carrot cake."
A man goes to the doctor with a carrot sticking out of his ear..
a banana in his other ear, spaghetti on his head and a sausage sticking out of his nose.
He says "Doctor, I'm not feeling very well".
Doctor replies "Hmmm, I don't think your eating properly".
A man walks into a doctor's office
He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear.
What's the matter with me? he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, You're not eating properly.
An elephant escapes from the circus
It wanders around and eventually ends uo in an old lady's garden eating the vegetables. The old lady came out and had never seen an elephant before nor did she know what it was. Panicked she ran inside and called the police
"Hello, what is your emergency" said the operator
"There is some sort of large animal ripping up all the carrots in my garden with its tail!"
"Okay...where is it putting these carrots?"
"If i told you, you wouldnt believe me!"
Ok, dad joke time.
A doctor goes to see a patient, the patient has carrots coming out of his nose and broccoli out of his ears. The doctor takes one look at the patient and says, I can tell right away you're not eating right.
A guy at the w**...
So a guys going down on this h**... in a w**.... He's eating and eating and all of a sudden gets some corn in his mouth. Well, he thinks thats kind of g**... but chalks it up to a fluke and keeps on eating. A few minutes later he gets some carrots in his mouth. Again he thinks thats kind of g**... and odd but again chalks it up to a fluke. Well he goes back to eating and eating and this time gets some beans in his mouth. He looks up from eating and says to the h**..., d**... lady, are you sick or something ..... she responds
No but the guy before you was
LOL
Medical Advice
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "Doctor, what's the matter with me?"
"You're not eating properly."
A guy walked into the doctor with a carrot in his ear, asparagus up his nose, and a half an onion on his head like a hat. The guy says, "Doc, I just don't get why I'm always sick."
The doctor replies, "Well, you're not eating right."
A man goes to the doctor
with a banana hanging halfway out his ear and a carrot sticking out of his nose. He says, "doc, I'm not feeling too hot".
Doc replies, "I can tell ya what's wrong just lookin' at ya. Clearly you're not eating properly."