The Best 35 Eating Carrots Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Eating Carrots jokes. There are some eating carrots jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these eating carrots puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Eating Carrots Jokes and Puns

I caught my sister masturbating with a carrot

I was annoyed because I was gonna eat that later...

And now it's gonna taste like carrot....

A woman goes to the doctor...

A woman goes to the doctor with a raspberry in her left nostril, a string bean in her right, a carrot in her right ear and a banana in her left. The woman says

"Doctor, I don't fell so well."

And the doctor replied

"Well for one thing, you're *definitely* not eating correctly."

Astute Diagnosis

A guy goes to the doctor, with a carrot up his nose. He's got a piece of celery in his other nostril, and a banana in his ear. He says,"Doc, I don't feel so good."
The doctor says,"You're not eating right."

A man walks into the psychiatrist's office

A man walks into the psychiatrist's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear and he says,

"I don't know what's the matter with me lately"

The psychiatrist says, "You're not eating properly."

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot......

I said, Come on, dammit, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"


NSFW Dad walks into a room

And sees his daughter masturbating with a carrot.
"Daamn" - he says: "I was going to eat that later! And now it's gonna taste like carrots!!!"

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot in his nose, cabbage in his ears and ham over his eyes. What's wrong with me doc? He asks.

The doctor replies Well it looks like you're not eating right.

Two rabbits are eating carrots

...from farmer Brown's field. One turns to the other and says, "This carrot is pithy." The other rabbit says, "I guess so. I just pithed on it."

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose.

He has a stalk of celery in the other nostril and peas in his ears. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." The doctor says, "Well, you're not eating right."

A man goes to his doctor because he has a carrot in his ear..

He asks the doctor, "I don't understand, how can this happen? What's wrong with me?!" The doctor pauses for a moment and then says, "Well, you're not eating right."

Ok, dad joke time.

A doctor goes to see a patient, the patient has carrots coming out of his nose and broccoli out of his ears. The doctor takes one look at the patient and says, I can tell right away you're not eating right.

You can explore eating carrots reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean eating carrots dad jokes. There are also eating carrots puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So a guy walks into the doctor's office with a celery stick in each ear and a carrot in each nose nostril...

He mumbles to the doctor "I think there's something wrong." to which the doctor replies "I don't think you're eating right."

A man goes to the doctor

with a banana hanging halfway out his ear and a carrot sticking out of his nose. He says, "doc, I'm not feeling too hot".

Doc replies, "I can tell ya what's wrong just lookin' at ya. Clearly you're not eating properly."

Cucumber, carrot, banana - none of them used for scale

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.

"What's the matter with me Doc?" he asks.

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly!"

An elephant escapes from the circus

It wanders around and eventually ends uo in an old lady's garden eating the vegetables. The old lady came out and had never seen an elephant before nor did she know what it was. Panicked she ran inside and called the police

"Hello, what is your emergency" said the operator

"There is some sort of large animal ripping up all the carrots in my garden with its tail!"

"Okay...where is it putting these carrots?"

"If i told you, you wouldnt believe me!"

A mother takes her crying baby to the hospital.....

The doctor gets out his little exam light and ends up pulling a Lima bean out of the kids left ear, a baby carrot out of one nostril, a Skittle and two peas out of the other nostril and a hunk of pear out of the kids' right ear.

The mom cringes as she watches all of this, then asks the doctor what's wrong with the kid.

The doctor shrugs a bit and says, "I'm not sure yet, but for one thing, he certainly isn't eating right."

A man walks into a doctor's office

He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear.

What's the matter with me? he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, You're not eating properly.

Dad joke: A woman goes to the doctor with...

A carrot in her ear, a mushroom in her nostril and a piece of steak on the other ear.

"I see" says the doctor. "You're not eating right"!

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot sticking out of his ear..

a banana in his other ear, spaghetti on his head and a sausage sticking out of his nose.

He says "Doctor, I'm not feeling very well".

Doctor replies "Hmmm, I don't think your eating properly".


A guy walked into the doctor with a carrot in his ear, asparagus up his nose, and a half an onion on his head like a hat. The guy says, "Doc, I just don't get why I'm always sick."

The doctor replies, "Well, you're not eating right."

Why don't snowmen eat carrot cake on their cake day?

Tastes like boogers

Medical Advice

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "Doctor, what's the matter with me?"

"You're not eating properly."

A guy at the whorehouse

So a guys going down on this hooker in a whorehouse. He's eating and eating and all of a sudden gets some corn in his mouth. Well, he thinks thats kind of gross but chalks it up to a fluke and keeps on eating. A few minutes later he gets some carrots in his mouth. Again he thinks thats kind of gross and odd but again chalks it up to a fluke. Well he goes back to eating and eating and this time gets some beans in his mouth. He looks up from eating and says to the hooker, Damn lady, are you sick or something ..... she responds

No but the guy before you was

LOL

A doctor walked in to find a patient sitting on the exam table.

A doctor walked in to find a patient sitting on the exam table, with carrots sticking out of his nose, and broccoli coming out of his ears.

The doctor took one look at him and said, "Well I can tell right away you're not eating right".

Sometimes when you eat too much carrot,

you turn orange and you run for presidency.

A man goes to see the doctor.

He has a carrot in his ear, a stick of celery up his nose and mash potato and peas in his hair.

Doctor says "You not eating right."

Doctors Office

A guy walks into a doctors office. He has a piece of lettuce on his head, a string bean coming out of his nose and a carrot sticking out of his ear.

The doctor says, "I can see your problem right away, you're not eating right."

A guy walks into a drs office with a carrot in his ear..

..and a piece of broccoli up his nose. The Dr told him he isn't eating right.

Why do people eat carrots to help their eyesight?

They should be eating oranges because they have vitamin C. haha

Did you know the saying "to work up an appetite" originated from back when people would become hungry as the result of physical labor AND THEN consume food? Wow, the more you know!

These days, I've just been saying, "Man, I really jerked up the ability to binge-eat an entire carrot cake."

Can't remember carrot joke

I remember seeing this one joke where a mom wanted her kid to eat his carrots and he had a funny comeback... but I can remember it.

It's not the one where he says, "Because I hate them!" and the mom replies, "But they like you" and he replies "Because I don't eat them"

What do you get when rabbis eat too many carrots?

Orange juice.

A guy with a carrot in his nose, an eggplant in one ear and a cucumber in the other, goes to his doctor...

"Doc, what's wrong with me?"

"Well, it appears as if you have an eating disorder."

Doctor's Visit

A man goes to the doctor and complains he's not feeling well.

The doctor looks at him and notices he has a stick of celery up one nostril a carrot up the other and broccoli sticking out of his ears.

The doctor says " I know what's wrong,your not eating properly"!

I walked in on my sister masturbating with a carrot which i planned to eat later

No thanks to her, now it's going to taste like carrots

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the eating carrots jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working eating carrots piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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