The Best 62 Eatin Jokes

Following is our collection of Eatin jokes which are very funny. There are some eatin thinkin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these eatin drinkin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

What do you do after eating vegetables?

Try to sell the wheelchairs

After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey...

...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.

I was eating in an Indian Restaurant when the waiter came over and say "Curry ok?"

I said "no thanks, i'm not much of a singer".

I was eating an orange this morning, but it tasted funny...

so I put it back in the crayon box!

I have an eating disorder...

I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.


Eating spicy food is like expressing your love to someone who has no interest in you...

you always get burned in the end.

Eating Chinese food is like getting an organ transplant

There's always a chance your body will reject it.

Eating vegetables is a lot like having sex.

If you're forced to do it as a kid, you won't like it as an adult.

Eating clocks is...

time consuming.

Sorry.

I tried eating a whole llama once.

I couldn't finish it, so I figured "Eh, alpaca lunch for tomorrow."

What do you get when eating toast in bed?

Un-crumb-fortable

Related Topics

Top Eatin Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore eatin buildin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean eatin watcha dad jokes. There are also eatin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's better than eating a mandarin?

Eating Amanda out

Eating Hummus with my co-workers and I asked

Hey, what's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

... I've never paid $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

Eating too much cake is the deadly sin of gluttony

But not eating too much pie, because the sin of pi is always zero.

So I was eating some Middle Eastern food...

...but then my fala fell

I've been eating a lot of eggs lately..

I must be on an egg roll.

After eating four cans of alphabet soup

I had a huge vowel movement.

Ba-dum
tss

Sometimes, eating road kill

Can be a big moose steak

Why does nobody like eating with Lionel?

Because he is a Messi eater!


Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand?

San Diego

(thought of this myself, it's better spoken)

I'm eating for two

That's why I look like I'm pregnant

Could eating a lot of spaghetti make me a better dad?

I suppose it's pastable.

Eating pistachios is like picking up girls

You always go for the easiest ones to crack first.

Have you ever tried eating a clock.

Nobody has time for that.

What does eating an old lady out taste like?

Depends.

I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra.

Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?

I'm eating that p*ssy

Teacher asked, Why is your cat with u in school? Kid says (crying), "I heard daddy tell mommy, I'm eating that p*ssy when the kids leave!"

"We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework"

~ Dog's mother.

What does eating in Australia and playing chess have in common?

They both usually end with "check mate"

I was eating soup one day outside my favorite restaurant and it started raining..

Took me hours to finish my meal.

What does eating out a 80 year old grandma taste like?

Depends..

Eating food is a lot of work.

It's the most calorie consuming thing I do all day.

After eating at a German restaurant, I had horrendous diarrhea for a week.

It was the wurst.

Eating an optimist is insanely difficult.

You just can't keep him down

I have an eating disorder.

Eating 'dis order isn't enough

Eating brains is very fattening.

A mind is a terrible thing to waist.

I don't like eating weirdly named foods

I always Falafel afterwards

I once tried eating the sands of time...

It was very time consuming.

We were eating dinner tonight, when my daughter said to me, I see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?

I said, Why would I want two empty glasses?

Eating your family is wrong, but eating your wife isn't.

This sounds wrong, but I'm no cunning linguist.

I was eating green onions when all of a sudden, I started rhyming everything that I was saying.

It turns out, they were rap scallions.

Eating popcorn is hella gay....

.....you're just swallowing a busted nut.

I was eating my tea last night when I thought to myself..

This milk has probably gone off.

I'm eating Himalayan deer for dinner tonight.

On account I found Himalayan on the road.

What's better than eating a mandarin?

Eating A mandaout

What's better than eating a mandarin??

Eating Amandaout

Eating leftovers is bad for my health

Everytime I tell my wife it was so bad the first time there's no way I'm eating it a 2nd, she beats me.

Eating clean

means I just took a shower and I'm heading to McDonald's..

Eating my cooking is like going to the fair.

It looks fun, but you'll probably just puke.

I was eating a steak in my favorite restaurant, when a girl came to my table and shouted at me: "Enjoying your meat, murderer?!"

Seriously Rachel it was 15 years ago and your dad had a knife. Jeez.

I once tried eating an hourglass...

It was very time consuming.

If no one else is eating Indian flatbread, I won't either.

I guess you can say I'm a Naan conformist.

Eating cereals for dinner.

It's the breakfast of tomorrow, today!

I was eating a bag of Goldfish the other day

With horror, the Petco worker asked me to leave the store.

I'm down to eating only one meal per day.

It's 56 courses and it takes me two days to finish.

eating a clock

sure is ***TIME-CONSUMING***

Have you ever tried eating a clock?

It's so time consuming.

Besides eating honey... what do John the Baptist, Smokey the Bear, and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They share the same middle name.

I saw someone eating noodles with some chicken on it.

It was the best hen thai I've ever seen.

I tried eating the whole Taco Bell menu once..

They kindly asked me to get off the counter

I was eating a cheeseburger when I was confronted by a vegan.

The vegan said I should give up killing and eating cows, he said I should start eating vegan. If prepared right, you will get more vitamins and enjoy it more.

At the end of the day, he was right, cooked properly, he was delicious.

Have you ever tried eating a clock?

It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the eatin puttin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working eatin nothin piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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