The Best 26 Eater Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Eater jokes. There are some eater vegetarian jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these eater meat eater puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Eater Jokes and Puns

Redneck Logic Joke

Two rednecks, Hunter and Cooter decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" the Cooter asked.

The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.

"That's real good!" said Cooter.

The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, Cooter said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

Cooter was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

Cooter, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied Cooter.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked Cooter.

"No," Hunter replied.

"Then you're gay."

What's green, little, eats stones and lives 1,5meters underground?

The little green stone eater.

If theres a hole through the whole earth and you droppes a rock, how far down will it go?

1,5meters then the little, green stone eater will eat it.

What do you get when you mix a Puerto Rican with a goat??

A weed eater that doesn't work.

What's big and red and eats rocks?

A big red rock eater.

What's microscopic, green and eats rocks?


edit for clarity

Jared was a good eater

But he always left a little behind

Why does nobody like eating with Lionel?

Because he is a Messi eater!

I think I'm a light eater.

As soon as it's light, I start eating.

Eater joke, I think I'm a light eater.

I asked my wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day, and she said "Something long and powerful that vibrates."

I hope she likes her new weed eater!

What do you call a bottle that eats pliers, screwdrivers, and hammers?

A tool eater bottle.

Decided to use guitar strings in my weed eater...

But now my yard seems a little flat.

I'm not a picky eater

Except for my nose.

You can explore eater picky reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean eater gluten dad jokes. There are also eater puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink...

The bartender asks if he'd like food with that.

The black hole said "no thanks, I'm a light eater."

I saw biggish girl at the pub last night,

Her t shirt said "watch out I'm a man eater!"

I went up to her and said " excuse me, love ... About your t shirt slogan."

She interrupted me and angrily snapped " oh let me guess: you want to know how many man I've eaten? Well, you know what, I can't help my size."

I said "Actually, no, I wasn't going to say that at all. "

She looks happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you what to say then?"

"That's not how you spell manatee."

Did you hear about the weed eater that went to jail?

Marijuana isn't legal in his state

My son won't eat anything but plectrums.

He's a picky eater.

What is a homosexual's favorite Metal Gear Solid game?

Snake Eater.

Eater joke, What is a homosexual's favorite Metal Gear Solid game?

I always wanted to be a competitive eater

Unfortunately, I just never had the stomach for it

My therapist asked me if I was a stress eater. I said of course I'm not a stress eater.

If I could eat stress, I wouldn't need to eat all this food when I'm stressed out!

Some dude is eating cheese.

Someone walks by him and asks " Hey, hows the cheese"?

The cheese eater replies "Its Gouda".

What's blue lives on the moon and eats rocks?

A blue moon rock eater

Two cannibals stumble upon a corpse

They decide to eat the body. One started at the head while the other began with the feet. As they were eating, the face eater asks the other, How's it going?

The foot chewer replies I am having a ball.

Slow down, you're eating too fast 

Why yes I'm also a member of PETA and an animal rights person

Yup I'm a Preferred Eater of Tasty Animals and all animals have a right to be served on my plate.

A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it

While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

A woman goes into a restaurant for her lunch break.

She sees a man sitting at a table, alone with his bowl of tomato soup. Politely she asks him: "Excuse me, sir, is this seat taken? Mind if I join you?" He answers: "No problem, ma'am. But I have to warn you, I'm a very messy eater!" She smiles and sits down, and says: "Then it was a good idea to wear a red shirt when eating tomato soup, wasn't it?" He answers: "Nope, I'm NOT wearing a red shirt..."

What kind of vehicle is a really good eater?

A chew chew train.

I can't stop myself from eating every morning.

I'm a cereal eater.

Eater joke, I can't stop myself from eating every morning.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the eater prickly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working eater carnivorous piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes