Easy Kid Jokes

40 easy kid jokes and hilarious easy kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about easy kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Easy Kid Short Jokes

Short easy kid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The easy kid humour may include short quiet kid jokes also.

  1. The only way to learn... When I was a young kid my dad taught me how to swim by throwing me in the deep end of a pool. Swimming to the ladder was easy, but getting out of the sack was the hard part.
  2. Kids these days have it real easy. There weren't as many paedophiles in my day. I had to buy my own candy.
  3. Kids have it easy these days. I used to make my own Vegetables. And when they ask me how, I usually say "I've got a hammer. "
  4. Parenting is easy once you learn the secret. For the love of god, please tell me the secret.
  5. Believe me when I tell you that it isn't going to be easy playing poker with R. Dixon Stevenson. That kid is feisty.
  6. A lot of kids these days don't even want to be sailors... ...but it's just so easy to give in to "pier" pressure.
  7. Kids got it easy these days.... When I was a kid we had to *walk* to school.... **both ways!**

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Easy Kid One Liners

Which easy kid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with easy kid? I can suggest the ones about fun kid and easy.

  1. Losing weight is so easy now. I'm just chasing the kids around all day - Jared Fogle
  2. Why did the kid in the wheelchair get bullied? He was easy to push around
  3. What did German kids get for Christmas during th holocaust? Easy Bake Ovens
  4. Why are kid's books bad liars? Because they're easy to read.
  5. What type of kids toys are easy to separate? The ones that lego.
  6. Q: What was h**...'s favorite toy as a kid?
    A: An Easy-Bake Oven.

Humorous Easy Kid Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about easy kid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quick kids jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make easy kid pranks.

A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out.

A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out. Whenever In was in, Out was out. And whenever In was out, Out was in.
One day Out was in but she couldn't find In anywhere. She looked everywhere for In; up, down, left, right, but she could not find In. Finally she asked Out to find In, and Out went right to where In was hiding. When the mother skunk asked Out how he knew where to find In, he replied
"Easy. Instinct."

Nowadays kids have it so easy. When I was their age, I had nothing but $3 in my pocket. So, what did I do?

I bought a house, started a family, and put the remaining 75 cents into a savings account for emergencies.

The whole pack

This guy caught me having s**... with his daughter, and he was furious.
He said, "I'm not going to go easy on you, son. Nobody ever went easy on me. When I was a kid, my father caught me smoking a cigarette, and he made me smoke the whole pack right in front of him. When my mother caught me drinking whisky from the cabinet, she made me drink the entire bottle down to the last drop."
I said, "I think I see where you're going with this. How many kids do you have?"

4 kids are at a party on sunday night

They wake up on Monday morning, and knowing they wouldn't be back in time to take a test, they emailed the professor and told him that they had a flat tire. The professor responded ok, you can take the test tomorrow
The next day the kids are at school. The professor says you all have to take the test in separate rooms
Fair the kids responded.
The first question was worth 5 points and said what is 5+5 .
Easy enough said one of the kids in their test room.
The second question was worth 95 points. It said which tire was flat

Home Alone Joke

When I was a kid I was obsessed with the Home Alone movie. My parents decided to throw me a home alone themed birthday. Which was a really easy to pull off since all they had to do was leave...

You kids have it easy with your convenient music streaming services and your smartphones. When we were teenagers, if we wanted to listen to an album by our favourite Australian alt rockers, we had to download it from Napster and put it on a CD ourselves.

We were burning the Midnight Oil.

Th couple with 10 kids.

A husband and wife had 9 kids and just recently had their 10th.
However the 10th child looked strangely different to the rest and this made the father suspicious of unfaithfulness on his wife's behalf.
So one day he sat his wife down and demanded she tell him who the father is.
The wife, a little overwhelmed by the confrontation gave it up pretty easy. She said: "Okay, okay, ... it's you".

Childhood was easy

When I was a kid, I used to love playing pirate. We'd dress up in our hats and eyepatches and run to people on the street yelling 'we're pirates, give us yer money!' Some would play along and some would be a bit intimidated. Apparently this isn't excusable if you're 22.

As a vegan mom, I prioritize maintaining a healthy lifestyle for me and my family, but keeping my kids active during quarantine isn't always easy, so we made up a new game...

The floor is ground beef!

A farmer brought his daughter a little p**...-belly pet pig.
She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty.
"Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?"
"That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can’t sit down!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That’s not fair!
You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!

A man goes on an overnight business trip, and hires a babysitter to watch his two kids. It's an easy job with good pay, but she's creeped out by the life-sized clown statue he has in his den.

That night, the man calls to see how things are going.
The babysitter says: "Everything's great, the kids have been wonderful. But I had to throw my coat over that clown statue in your den. No offense but it's really creepy."
Horrified, the man replies: "*What?! I don't have a den! Grab my kids and my clown statue and get out of there!*"

There was a child who was absolutely obsessed with tractors

He had tractor wallpaper, model tractors, pictures of tractors.. everything was about tractors for him.
However, as he grew older his love for tractors faded.
He went to university, married a girl and they had kids.
One day he came home and his house was on fire and his family were trapped inside!
He ran to the front door, took a deep breath and s**... all of the flames into his mouth.
Sobbing, his wife came out with the children and screamed 'HOW ON EARTH DID YOU DO THAT?'
He replied, calmly 'It's easy. I'm an ex-tractor fan.'

"Ok children, lets play a guessing game..."

"Ok Jimmy", said Ms. Par, " I have something behind my back that is round, orange and is a piece of fruit, what is it?"
"That's easy" says Jimmy, "Its an orange!"
"Nope, its a tangerine, but it shows you're thinking."
Jimmy holds up his hand and says " Ok Ms. Par, I have one for you." the kid reaches into his front pocket and says, "In my hand is something stiff, with a red tip and is about one inch long. What is it?"
"JIMMY!!!!!" exclaims the teacher
The kid smiles, takes his hand out of his pocket and says
"Nope, its a match.... But it shows your thinking!"

Social services are talking to a recneck woman about her ten kids...

Social service guy: "ok miss, what's the first boy called?"
Recneck woman: "Billy-Joe"
SS guy: "and the second one?"
RW: "Billy-Joe"
The SS guy pauses for a second and asks "What's the third child called?"
RW: "Billy-Joe"
Ss guy: "hold on... Are ALL your boys caked Billy-Joe?"
RW: "They sure are."
SS: "doesn't that get confusing"
RW: "Naw, it helps. If I want the house clean I say "Billy-Joe clean up!" And they ALL clean up. At tea time I shout "Billy-Joe, food time" and they all come running."
SS guy: "but what if you need one specific boy?"
RW: "That's easy... I shout their surname."

Logic at the Community College

Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon.
"Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?"
"Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way, Jimmy do you own a lawnmower?"
"Why yes I do"
"Ok, that must mean you've got a yard"
"If you've got a yard, then you must have a house"
"Sure do"
"And if you've got a house, you probably have kids"
"Three of them!"
"Wow, then you must be a heterosexual male with a beautiful wife at home"
"Yes, yes! This logic thing is pretty cool, sign me up!"
Later that day Jimmy goes home and sees his neighbor Gary and tells Gary about his new college course. Gary says "logic? What's that?"
"Well let me explain it like this", says Jimmy. "Do you own a lawnmower Gary?"
"No, I always borrow yours"
"Well then you must be a homosexual!"

Inside a supermarket, a woman spots........

a grandfather and his poorly behaved three-yearold grandson. Easy, Billy, says grandfather calmly. We won't be long.
In the cookie aisle, the woman hears the kid whining some more, I want cookies! Gimme cookies!
It's OK Billy, just a couple more minutes, and we'll be out of here. Just hang on; you're doing great, says the grandfather.
At the check out, the kid screams, CANDY! I want candy!
Billy, Billy, relax, pal. Don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes.
The woman is impressed. You're amazing, she tells the grandfather. You kept your composure no matter how loud he got. Billy is very lucky to have you as a grandpa.
Thanks, replies the grandfather. But I'm Billy. The little twerp is Michael.

What doctors really thinking?

- This should be taken care of right away.

I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
- Welllllll, what have we here…?

He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.
- Let me check your medical history.

I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you.
- We have some good news and some bad news.

The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.
- Let me schedule you for some tests.

I have a forty percent interest in the lab.
- I'd like to have my associate look at you.

He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.
- I'd like to prescribe a new drug.

I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.
- This may hurt a little.

Last week two patients bit off their tongues.
- This should fix you up.

The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.
- I'd like to run some more tests.

I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.
- There is a lot of that going around.

My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.

A Farmer goes to town

and enters a lawyer's office. "Mr. Lawyer," he says, "I'd like to get one of them die-vorces."
"Well," replies the lawyer, "do you have any grounds?"
"Yessir, 'bout 180 acres out near the county line."
"No, what I meant was, do you have a case?"
"Naw, but I do have a John Deere."
"No, No, No, do you have a grudge?"
"Yup, park my John Deere in it evry night."
"Look here, do you have a suit?"
"'Course, wear it to church evry Sunday."
"You're not making this easy on me. Listen, is your wife a nagger?"
"Nope, but that last kid was, that's why I want one of them die-vorces."

'Potentially' and 'Realistically'

A kid comes home from school and says to his father, "Dad, today's assignment is to find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'." The dad replies, "Easy. Go ask Mom if she'd sleep with the neighbor for a million dollars." The kid runs off, and then returns. "She said yes." "Now go ask your sister the same question." The kid does as he's asked. "She also said yes." The dad answers, "So, potentially, we're sitting on 2 million dollars. But realistically, we're living with a pair of w**...."


There was a man who goes to the bank and sees a woman with twelve children. He's astonished that this woman has so many children with her and so he approaches her and says, "Wow that sure is a lot of kids are they yours?"
The woman says "Yes all twelve are mine." The man shocked by this replies "What are there names." She says "Leroy, one e for the girls and two e's for the boys." At this the man is really surprised and asks "doesn't that get confusing?" She says "No it's great I just call for one and they all come. I say Leroy time for breakfast and there they all come down. I say Leroy time for school and they all come down and get on the bus."
The man considers this and asks "Yes but what if you want just one Leroy what do you do then?" She looks him dead in the eye and says "Oh that's easy I just call them by their last name."

jokes about easy kid