Easy Jokes
126 easy jokes and hilarious easy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about easy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find easy and appropriate jokes for your children of any age! From 4 year olds to 7 year olds and beyond, this article has a joke for everyone to make them laugh. With fewer words for toddlers and easier jokes for first graders, these jokes can be customized for any age. Subtract the difficulty, and add the comfort of laughter.
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Funniest Easy Short Jokes
Short easy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The easy humour may include short simple jokes also.
- Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.
Batman doesn't want to get shot. - A lumberjack once told me he's cut down 27,572 trees. How do ya know exactly how many? I inquired.
Easy. I keep a log. - Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
- "We're looking for a drug dealer," said the police officer, "and you fit the description we've been given." I said, "That was easy then. What can I get you fellas?"
- Wife: "Can you pick up milk?" Me: *lifts gallon*
"Yeah, it's easy."
Wife: "I mean from the store."
Me: "I'd imagine it weigh the same there too" - It wasn't easy for the guy who invented the microphone in the beginning. He got some really bad feedback.
- I told my wife I'm going to arrange the herb in alphabetical order from now on. She said, Where would you find the time? I said, Easy. Right next to the sage.
- Donald Trump is like a marshmallow... He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.
- I used to rip off famous comedians' jokes to post on Reddit for easy karma. I still do, but I used to, too.
- German women love me... I'm a ladies man. I saw this fine German woman. I didn't even have to chat her up for her to hastily give me her number. It was easy to remember 999 9999.
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Easy One Liners
Which easy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with easy? I can suggest the ones about easily and quick simple.
- How can you tell good cops from bad cops? Easy. Good cops carry a Goodge.
- Scaring men is easy I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is..
- I like my women how I like my COVID 19, breathtaking, and easy to spread
- Being a dog walker is so easy It's a literal walk in the park.
- Why is Jesus easy to insult? It takes him 3 days to comeback.
- How easy is it to tell a joke 1 year after joining Reddit? A piece of cake.
- What do you call something that's easy to get into, but hard to get out of? Trouble.
- Why are Fish easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales.
- I lost 15 pounds But in my defense, babies are easy to misplace.
- Making a deep dish pizza is surprisingly super easy! It's a pizza cake!
- Why is being an astronaut such an easy job? No pressure.
- My name is Ezra. Spelling my name is easy... r, a
- Crucifixion of Jesus was not an easy task... ... however Romans nailed it.
- I like my women how I like my math problems: Short, easy, and with no imaginary parts.
- Why is Apollo's sister so easy to find? Because she's Hard-temis.
Easy Ways Jokes
Here is a list of funny easy ways jokes and even better easy ways puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A woman's anger is like a Check Engine light... There's no easy way to know what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
- There is really no easy way to say it, ma'am, but your son has just fallen into the Eyjafjallajökull.
- There's a VERY easy way to leave every casino with a small fortune. Go there with a large one.
- There's no easy way to say this..... She sells sea shells on the sea shore, the shells that she sells are sea shells for sure.
- The only way to learn... When I was a young kid my dad taught me how to swim by throwing me in the deep end of a pool. Swimming to the ladder was easy, but getting out of the sack was the hard part.
- Here is an easy way to tell a Chinese girl from a Japanese girl The Japanese girl has pixels.
- What's a quick and easy way to turn a sofa into a bed? Forget your other halfs birthday
- Want to know an easy way to become a Millionaire? Be a Billionaire and start day-trading
- There's no easy way to say this… Worcestershire
- What's an easy way to make friends? Start asking out all the ladies you know by name.
Easy Kid Jokes
Here is a list of funny easy kid jokes and even better easy kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Losing weight is so easy now. I'm just chasing the kids around all day - Jared Fogle
- Why did the kid in the wheelchair get bullied? He was easy to push around
- What did German kids get for Christmas during th holocaust? Easy Bake Ovens
- Kids have it easy these days. I used to make my own Vegetables. And when they ask me how, I usually say "I've got a hammer. "
- Why are kid's books bad liars? Because they're easy to read.
- Parenting is easy once you learn the secret. For the love of god, please tell me the secret.
- What type of kids toys are easy to separate? The ones that lego.
- Believe me when I tell you that it isn't going to be easy playing poker with R. Dixon Stevenson. That kid is feisty.
- A lot of kids these days don't even want to be sailors... ...but it's just so easy to give in to "pier" pressure.
Quick And Easy Jokes
Here is a list of funny quick and easy jokes and even better quick and easy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like my girls like like I like my coursework Quick, easy and due in a month
- What do you feed your wife if you wants a quick and easy divorce? A bullet
- I like my women how I like my Call of Duty matches Quick and easy.
Hilarious Fun Easy Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about easy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ease jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make easy pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid.
She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is...purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny Has A Question
A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. He finds his father and tells him that he has to write a paper explaining the difference between potentially and actually.
His father says to him "That's an easy one", "Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000."
So the boy does as he is told. When he comes back down he tells his father what he learned. "She said yes, dad." "So," said his dad "Find your mother, now, and ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well."
The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again.
"She said yes too, dad." "Well, there you go." said the dad.
The boy looked at his father, puzzled.
He smiled, "Potentially we're sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of w**...!"
With the punchline first.
How did the time traveler tell his jokes?
(I'm sorry, it was just so easy!)
So a man goes to the doctor...
and is told that he has a terminal illness with only 24 hours left to live.
He went home and told his wife who was completely shocked. So later, as they're laying in bed, he asks if they can make love one last time. They do. Later, the man wakes up at 3:30 in the morning and asks if they can go at it again. His wife tired and irritable says, "Well that's easy for you to ask, you don't have to get up in the morning..."
Sorry for the lousy wording
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Getting girls to have s**... with me is like getting ketchup out of a bottle.
Easy when I have a knife.
Three nuns die in a car accident. They arrive at the pearly gates...
...and St. Peter greets them, "welcome to heaven sisters! Before I let you in I have to ask you each a question that you must answer to be accepted into heaven."
The first nun steps up, and St. Peter asks, "who is the son of god?" The nun says, "that's easy. Jesus." The gates open, and she strolls into heaven.
The second one steps up. "Who is Jesus' mother?" She answers, "Mary," and the gates open.
The third nun steps up, and he asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun looks flustered, and she says, "that's a really hard one..." And the gates open.
I'm making a fortune promoting home security systems
The pitch is easy. All I do is say "Good morning". At 3am whilst sitting on the end of their bed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Farmer tries to breed pigs
A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.
The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"
"Easy. When they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate those pigs himself.
So he loaded them onto his truck, drove them out into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs.
Since they were all still standing around, he concluded that his first attempt didn't take, so he loaded them into the truck again, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs. They are still just standing around.
"Once more," he told himself, and loaded them onto the truck, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed.
The next morning, he can't even lift himself off the bed. He asked his wife to see if the pigs are wallowing in the mud yet.
"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My buddy has big news...
He comes to me one day and says "Dude, you'll never believe it, I'm b**... twins."
"That's awesome" I reply "but how can you tell them apart?"
"Easy" he says "Marys got long blonde hair and Steves got a moustache."
Harassment.
So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A West Virginian gets married and him and his wife go to bed together for the first time...
And his new wife tells him to take it easy on her as she's a v**.... Upon finding this out he tells her "well if you're not good enough for your dad than you're not good enough for me, get out."
My friend got jury duty
So I drove him down to the courthouse. He came out 5 minutes later and said we could go. I said "How did you do that?" He said it was easy, just pretend to be super racist and they let you go. So I tried it myself a couple weeks later.
Apparently it doesn't work if you're the defendant.
What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe?
I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard.
You guys want to play that new Michael Brown drinking game?
It's easy, you just stand there and take eight shots.
My ex was like a computer game.
Started off easy, got a little harder and eventually I ended up cheating.
A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street
A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street and gets hit by a red lorry, a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.
A policeman is despatched to inform the unfortunate man's family:
"There's no easy way to say this..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old friends meet in bar...
[translated from Turkish]
-Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months!
-Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while
-"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French?
-Mais biensur !
-Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the same school and we never had any French lessons!!
-No, no! I'm learning via the radio. 99.3 FM. Every day at 10AM you have French lessons. Very easy, I suggest you try.
-Oh, ok, cool I'll give a try tomorrow.
Next morning he calls Jack:
-Yo Jack, I have those old radios with a needle for tuning. Does it work with those old radios too?
-Sure! Scroll to 99, then go a little further to the right.
-Oh cool! Thx!
-Mais de rien !
-oh! s**... already...
Couple of weeks later, he meets Jack again. And Jack asks:
-Salut mon ami, How is your French?
- Shhhszzzzoussssshzzziuhli! (static noise)
[probably not the best written joke :/]
A good zinger that my friend carpenter used on a doctor
So this Dr hired my friend (who's a carpenter) to do some work around the house, the doc was curiously looking over my friends shoulder as he was putting a piece of molding to cover his uneven cut. The doc said with a cavalier attitude "that's an easy way to hide your mistakes!" and without thinking, my friend replied "yeah, to hide my mistakes I don't need 6 feet of soil!"
My dad taught me to swim by rowing me to the middle of a lake and tossing me overboard...
It was pretty easy once I got out of the bag!
A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out.
A mother skunk had two kids that she named In and Out. Whenever In was in, Out was out. And whenever In was out, Out was in.
One day Out was in but she couldn't find In anywhere. She looked everywhere for In; up, down, left, right, but she could not find In. Finally she asked Out to find In, and Out went right to where In was hiding. When the mother skunk asked Out how he knew where to find In, he replied
"Easy. Instinct."
Sometimes you have to choose between what is hard and what is easy
Luckily for you I'm both right now
A polar bear and a black bear are taking a stroll in the arctic...
When suddenly, the polar bear falls in some water he starts to panic and says, "Help, I'm dissolving!" the black bear replies with, "No you aren't bears are insoluble!" the polar bear says, "That's easy for you to say, you're non-polar!".
I vandalized an art major's car today.
Removing pizza delivery signs is surprisingly easy.
Three old men
Three elderly men were at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply.
The doctor said to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday", he replied.
Then the doctor asked the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine", he answered. "That's great!" said the doctor. "How did you get that answer?
"Easy," said the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
Tommy comes back off his holiday with his mum and his step dad and the teacher asks him...
"Hello Tommy, did you enjoy your holiday?"
"I did Teacher"
"And did your stepdad take you out, show you things, go exploring?"
"Yes he did teacher, he took me out rowing 1/2 a mile into the lake every day, and then I'd swim back."
"Oh, well, um, it's an awful long way to swim isn't, 1/2 a mile?"
"Oh no teacher, no, it was easy once I'd got out of the bag!"
I hopped in a cab after work and said to the cabbie
"My wife won't put out any more. Take me somewhere I can get an easy chick that won't say no"
10 minutes later he dropped me off at my house and said
"Just tell her Larry sent you"
Stephen Hawking diagnosed with erectile dysfunction.
It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A father is teaching his boy how to pee in the toilet.
"OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.
1. Pull down your pants.
2. Pull back your f**....
3. Pee in the toilet.
4. Put your f**... back.
5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".
An engaged man asked his father for advice for a long and happy marriage...
Dad, you and Mom have been happily married for 28 years now. How do you do it?
"That's easy son, when your Mom and I first got married, we made a deal. She would make all the little decisions, and I would make all the big decisions. "
Hey, that sounds like a good arrangement. But how do you decide what's a big decision, and what's a little decision?
"Oh, there hasn't been any big decisions yet."
What is communism?
- Let me explain.. If you had 2 yachts and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course.
- Well, that's communism. Another example, if you had 2 homes and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course I would.
- See, its easy. If you had 2 coats for example and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- No!
- No? Why not?
- Because I *do* have 2 coats
In a chemistry class, the teacher asks a girl
- Mary, what is H2SO4?
- Oh god, this is so easy, why can't I remember, it's on the tip of my tongue.
Quickly, Johnny says:
- Then spit it out, that's sulfuric acid!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it so easy to find a p**... in Islamic countries?
They're always just a stone's throw away.
Harry Potter woke up in a hospital.
A little confused he asked "where am I?"
Doctor: "why you were in a coma and just awoke in this fine hospital"
"Why am I in a muggle Hospital?" he mumbled to himself
slightly hearing him the doctor spoke " Son, Take it easy, you ran face first into a wall and have been in a coma for 8 years"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hiding an e**... isn't as easy as you may think...
It's harder than it looks...
I'm trying to organize a Hide and Seek tournament for a while, but it is not easy.
Good players are hard to find.
Why is it easy to come up with nicknames for a tree?
Because they stick.
I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.
The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct." She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."
I don't know why most people think a dogs life is so easy.
Everytime I come home from work I ask my dog how his day went and he always says rough.
The Trophy Wife
This guy is so sick of his hot trophy wife always asking for money.
So the next time she comes and asks him for some money he says "I'm not giving you any more money until you make some money for yourself."
So the next day he comes home from work and his wife says "I did it. I made money. I made $230.50!"
He says "Wow. How did you do that?"
She says "Easy: Prostitution."
So now he looks kind of perplexed he says "Who paid 50 cents?"
She says "Everybody!"
One boy tell the other: "There is an easy way to get what you want"
The other boy said, "How?"
"Tell people you know their secret"
The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!"
The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10"
The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!"
The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15"
The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!"
The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"
Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."
Finding a woman sobbing because she had locked her keys in the car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.
She watches amazed as he takes off his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens.
"That's so clever!" the woman exclaims. "How did you do that?"
"Easy," replied the soldier, "These are my khakis."
Christian Horse
A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. The horse's owner said, "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'Praise the Lord!' to make him go and 'Amen!' to make him stop."
Bill got on the horse and said, "Praise the Lord!" Sure enough, the horse started to walk. "Praise the Lord!" he said again, and the horse began to trot. "Praise the Lord!" he yelled and the horse broke into a gallop.
Bill was enjoying his ride so much that he almost didn't notice the cliff he and horse were about to go over. Bill shouted "AMEN!" at the top of his lungs, and the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff.
Relieved, Bill said, "Phew, Praise the Lord!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women the same way I like my lightbulbs.
Not too bright, easy to turn on, and suspended from the ceiling with electrical cable.
"Boy, I'm scared," a man said to one of his friends,
"I got a
letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop
seeing his wife." "Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll
have to stop seeing his wife." "Easy for you to say," the first
guy said. "You like her that much?" the friend asked. "It's not
that," declared the man, "He didn't sign his name."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy
**First night as a vampire hunter:** oh no
If professionals make difficult tasks look easy, what do you call someone who makes easy tasks look difficult?
A coworker
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction
but it sure as h**... ain't hard
A doctor has an appointment
A doctor has an appointment with 3 of his crazy patient to see if they are doing any better.
He asks the first one: "3 times 4 ?"
"1484"
Wrong. Disappointed, he asks the second one the same thing: "3 times 4 ?"
"Wednesday"
Wrong again, he asks the same thing to the third one: "3 times 4?"
The third one immediately answers "12".
The doctor is surprised that the last one got it right: "Wow, how did you get to that answer?"
"It was easy", says the last one. "I divided 1484 by wednesday".
A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.
Poodle says: "I'll only choose the mate who can use the words 'Liver' and 'Cheese' in one sentence..."
Husky: "Well that's easy, I love liver and I love cheese!"
Poodle: "That's not gonna work"
Pitbull: "I hate liver and I hate cheese!"
Poodle: "...No"
Chihuahua: "LIVER ALONE, CHEESE MINE!"
A student got home from school and his mum asked him how the test went.
He said it was easy but one question held him up. The mother asked what the question was.
" They asked what the past tense of think was" the boy answered. "So what did you write?" the mother asked.
"I thought and thought and thought until I finally wrote thinked"! The boy replied.
How to stay in class
A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"
A couple of Blondes are out in the woods hunting.......
When one of them falls to the ground and her eyes close. The other blonde whips out her cell phone and calls 911. She gasps to the operator, Help! Help! My friend Holly is dead! What should I do? The operator, in a calm voice, says, Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure she's really dead.
After a brief silence, a shot rings out, then the blonde's voice comes back on the line. OK, now what?
Bad news. I got fired from my job at the bank today.
I mean, it was an easy mistake... An elderly woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For extra cash consider robbing s**... offenders.
Their address is easy to find, and they can't own guns.
Only downside is politicians usually have good security.
Not very hungry
Me: "I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"
Server: "... maybe the chicken strips for $6?"
Me: "... maybe it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger."
Random dad across the restaurant: "GOOD ONE!"
English is so easy to learn...
You just need to remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Usually one. Lightbulbs are relatively easy to screw in, although depending on the position/location of said light it may require a stepladder or some sort of object to stand on to elevate yourself. Always be careful when installing electronics, make sure the light switch is OFF before going near it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man went skydiving for the first time. "It's easy," said the instructor.
"Just count to five and pull on the main c**...," the instructor continued. "If that doesn't open, count to ten and pull on the reserve c**...."
"Super easy," he concluded. "Then you'll float slowly to the ground, and our bus will be there to drive you back to the airport."
The man jumped out the plane, and pulled on the main c**.... Nothing happened. He pulled on the reserve c**.... Nothing happened.
He looked down at the ground which was approaching fast, and said: "I bet that bus won't be there to pick me up either."
Simon met up with Tim for coffee
Simon Said: „Wasn't yesterday's power cut a nightmare! I was stuck in a lift for 4 hours!
„Oh, you had it easy, said Tim. „I was left standing on an escalator for 5 hours!
