Eastern Jokes
174 eastern jokes and hilarious eastern puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about eastern that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy a round of classic Eastern jokes from around the world. From Eastern Europe and Eastern Orthodoxy, to the Eastern suburbs and Easterners all across the globe, explore jokes and humor from the East. Whether it's jokes from the Sudan or the Northeast, you won't be disappointed. Get ready to laugh out loud!
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Funniest Eastern Short Jokes
Short eastern jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The eastern humour may include short east coast jokes also.
- My father complained "I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men." Dad, you're using Uber.
- My mate just hired an Eastern european cleaner, took her 15 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
- I felt a rush of culture shock wash over me as I walked through a middle eastern market It was bazaar
- I hate it when.. I hate it when my black friend disappears in the dark,
My white friend in snow,
My Chinese friend in sand,
And my Middle-Eastern friend in drone strike. - Apparently they're making a Middle Eastern version of 'The Flintstones'... ...and while Dubai doesn't like it, Abu Dhabi do.
- I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes... My personal spell Czech.
- Apparently my attempt at recreating authentic Middle Eastern recipe gave everyone food poisoning... I falafel.
- I want to open a restaurant that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine I call it "Wok like an Egyptian".
- A local museum today received a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork. They're gettin' Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.
- My Middle Eastern dad has learned English from watching infomercials. So when I would get in trouble as a kid and get punished, he would finish by saying "But wait, there's more!"
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Eastern One Liners
Which eastern one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with eastern? I can suggest the ones about oriental and east indian.
- I had some bad middle eastern food yesterday I just felafel afterwards.
- Made an Eastern European friend on a chess forum. He was my Czech mate.
- I had too much Middle Eastern food today. Now I falafel.
- What happens when you eat too much Middle Eastern food? You feelafel
- What do you call a middle eastern sorceress? A sandwitch
- That weird middle eastern guy insisted on giving me a ride home Iran
- What did the eastern Russian say to the western Russian in the bathroom? "European."
- I traded my blowup doll in for a middle eastern version.. It blows itself up..
- I recently switched to an all Middle Eastern diet and can't say I recommend it I falafel.
- I made fun of my Middle Eastern friend's food the other day Now I falafel about it.
- Where do Middle-Eastern midgets come from? Halfghanistan.
- Some people don't really question Middle Eastern markets. I think they're bazaar.
- I used to work in an eastern european fraud office. I had to check czech cheques.
- What's Justin Timberlakes favorite part of Eastern Europe? The Crimea River.
- What do you call someone who is attracted to Middle Easterns? A Hummusexual.
Middle Eastern Jokes
Here is a list of funny middle eastern jokes and even better middle eastern puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- For some reason I'm only afraid of Middle Eastern spiders... It's O.K. though. My doctor says it's normal to be Iraqnaphobic.
- Jokes are sort of like Middle Eastern policies. Some are decent, but it's really the execution that counts.
- What's the name for a Middle Eastern fowl that can bowl three strikes in a row? Turkey turkey turkey
- What's the difference between a Middle Eastern preschool and an ISIS training camp? I have no idea, I just fly the drone
- Why do you never want to call a middle eastern man with a turban a Muslim? Because they are Sikh and tired of it!
- This Heat is Like a Middle Eastern Dictator... This Heat is Like a Middle Eastern Dictator. It's oppressive, you can't get away from it, and I'm pretty sure we can blame the U.S. for it.
- What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel.
- What's the difference between Western and Middle -Eastern atheists? Western atheists have heads.
- What do you call a law-abiding Middle Eastern waffle shop that caters to police officers, but tastes horrible? Awful, awful lawful "Lawful Waffles & Falafels"
- Why did the vegan Middle Eastern person leave their country? too much Falafel causing catastrophe of bloating
Eastern European Jokes
Here is a list of funny eastern european jokes and even better eastern european puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call an Eastern European cashier? A Checkoutslovakian.
(Better said than read) - I like my coffee like I like my women. Handed over by an eastern european immigrant who doesn't care what happens to it or expect to see it again.
- After a flood of forged financial documents from a small eastern european country, an urgent warning was issued by banks worldwide CHECK CZECH CHEQUES
- When I manage a troupe of Eastern European acrobats... they're going to be called "Czechs and Balances", it's the only logical choice.
- As an eastern European living in a western country, dealing with bureaucrats always brings me to tears Their rudeness and arrogance make reminds me of my homeland, it makes me so nostalgic.
- What's it called when you beat your eastern European friend at strategy board games. Czech Mate
- What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building? The Czech bounced.
- What does a British guy say when he beats an Eastern European at chess? Czechmate
- My friend who works as a beautician wants to learn Eastern European languages It sounds challenging, but I know she's going to nail Polish.
- What do firemen and Eastern European prostitutes have in common? They both go down on poles.
Eastern Europe Jokes
Here is a list of funny eastern europe jokes and even better eastern europe puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why is eastern europe filled with strippers? Because they like Poles.
- What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day? A Buddha Pest.
- I saw Queen play in Eastern Europe around the early 1900s I believe it was under Prussia
- What does an editor do in Eastern Europe? They Czech for errors.
- What do you call Planned Parenthood locations in Eastern Europe? a-borsch-tion clinics
- What's the contour integral of western Europe? Zero, because the poles are in eastern Europe.
- Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe? They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.
- I have a friend from Eastern Europe You could call him my Czech mate.
- What is the saddest bird in eastern Europe? The Blue-Crane
- The smallest fortune teller went into a supermarket in Eastern Europe. Now there's a minimum medium at a Maxima.
Eastern Africa Jokes
Here is a list of funny eastern africa jokes and even better eastern africa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call poppies from eastern Africa? Ethiopium
- I ordered some drugs online from eastern africa but I don't know if they will arrive or not. Schrödinger's khat.
Eastern Orthodox Jokes
Here is a list of funny eastern orthodox jokes and even better eastern orthodox puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you get fresh air into an Eastern Orthodox church? You tap on an icon and a window opens up.
Uproarious Eastern Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about eastern you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean east west jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make eastern pranks.
Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge
Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge and I saw this guy about to jump.
I said, "Don't jump."
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! What denomination?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference, or Northern Conservative Baptist, Eastern Conference?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off.
--Emo Philips
I recently learned that bison of eastern new york who are bullied by bison of the same region mimic the behavior upon the remainder of the community. In other words...
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
What do you call a person of mixed heritage from eastern Turkey/northern Iraq, and from Wisconsin?
A Cheese Kurd.
The famous joke from eastern europe. Depicting a stereotypic slooow estonian character.
An Estonian stands by a railway track.
Another Estonian passes by on a handcar, pushing the pump up and down.
The first one asks: Is it a long way to Tallinn?
Not too long.
He gets on the car and joins pushing the pump up and down.
After two hours of silent pumping the first Estonian asks again: Is it a long way still to Tallinn?
Now, it is very long way to Tallinn.
A recent joke from eastern Ukraine
Two friends meet, both native Russian speakers – as is everyone in this region – but one speaks Russian, and the other insists on speaking Ukrainian.
Why are you speaking Ukrainian? asks one friend. Are you afraid Ukrainian nationalists will come and kill you?
No, comes the reply. I'm afraid if Putin hears me speaking Russian, he will come to 'protect' my rights!
Why don't I enjoy certain middle eastern food?
Because it just makes me falafel.
A Joke about Eastern Kentucky
In my younger years I used to counterfeit money and pass it off as real money. One day, after I made a fake $7 bill, I found a random guy on the street and asked him if he had change for 7 dollars.
"I sure do" the man replies as he hands me $3 and a $4.
A new craze sweeps an Eastern European nation
Though Transylvania is mostly rivers and mountains, a new outdoor sport is achieving newfound popularity. Folks have been flocking to the calmer parts of the Olt and Danube to try out for a crew, the competitive paddling fad usually found in lakes. In fact, the sport has spread from the region to the whole country.
Truly, the nation has Ro-mania.
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
Why did the Middle Eastern man not want his daughter to go on a date with a boy from school?
He was afraid she would come home s**....
What's the difference between American girls and Middle Eastern girls?
American girls get s**... BEFORE they commit adultery.
Why did the man v**... after eating Middle Eastern food?
It made his stomach falafel.
Tragedy in Eastern Canada
Canada's Worst Air Disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as searching continues through the evening.
Middle Eastern s**... hotline
A man living in Iraq calls in the the s**... hotline and he says to the operator " I'm feeling very suicidal and don't feel like living anymore"
The operator replies to him " well sir can you drive a truck".
What do you call a Middle Eastern bodybuilder?
Arnold s**....
What does an american teenager and a middle eastern feminist have in common?
They're both getting s**....
What did the middle eastern man say to his m**... enthusiast wife?
s**...!
A young woman learned that you can smoke in the rain if you make a hole in a c**... and put it over the cigarette.
She goes to a convenience store and asks a middle eastern clerk for a c**.... The guy looks at her with obvious disapproval, but does his job. He asks her what kind she wants and she answers,
I don't really care, as long as it fits the camel
How many Brits does it take to change a lightbulb?
Manual work ? That's what underpaid Eastern immigrants are for pff
What do you call a middle eastern man with a bounty on his head?
A t**....
Hurricane Joaquin
This Category 3 Storm is likely to hit the Eastern US this week.
Good news for Arizona residents: you will not be affected by Joaquin, Phoenix.
The United Nations world-wide survey
The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.
The survey went like this:
"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"
The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure:
The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean. In china no one knew what 'opinion' was. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' was. In the middle east no one could figure out what 'solution' was; and in america they had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant.
I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant.
It's called The Valhallah Snakbar.
I saw a very odd Middle Eastern market the other day.
It was quite bazaar.
what did they tell the eastern European tree who wanted a room at the hotel california
you can czech in any time you want
but you can never leaf
So I was eating some Middle Eastern food...
...but then my fala fell
What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?
The Pilot, you racist.
Apparently they're making a Middle Eastern version of 'The Flintstones'...
And they're going to call it 'Modern Family.'
What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use?
Arab spring
What do you call a table of Middle Eastern hor d'oeuvres?
Allahu Snackbar
What do you call an apartment in Eastern Germany?
A bloc of flats
What did the Middle Eastern sheepherder say when he was asked what animal he was herding
Islam
What's the best part about being middle eastern ?
For the price of a one way trip to a western country you get a roundtrip ticket.
Congrats to the National Gallery on receiving a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork.
Which is to say ... they're getting Monet for nothing and the Czechs for free.
What is the question that has perplexed eastern european historians?
Did Vlad Dracula remove kebab, or impale them?
What would you call a bloodsucking insect that is part of a middle eastern religion?
A mosque-ito!
Why was the middle eastern woman unemployed?
Cuz she quit hijab.
What do you call a middle eastern c**...?
A sultine!
A blonde calls a 24/7 support call center
The blonde asks what hours they are open for. The technical support person says we are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The blonde stops for a moment a thinks. After a while she asks is that Eastern or Pacific time?
Whats the difference between Indians and Middle Eastern people?
Indians are responsible for 7/11 not 9/11
Match the middle eastern country to its sworn enemy...
- Bahrain
- Lebanon
- Qatar
- United Arab Emirates
- Egypt
- Syria
- Jordan
- Iran
- Iraq
- Saudi Arabia
- Algeria
- Morocco
- Yemen
- Oman
- Kuwait
1. Israel
Why did the eastern European man c**... on his way to work?
He was Russian
What do you call a Middle Eastern p**...?
A h**...
What do you call a female middle eastern stripper?
Sheikha Bouti
What do you call a male middle eastern stripper?
Sheikh Madiq
A guy beat his eastern european friend at chess.
He got a czech-mate
So, you're the leader of a country who wants access to the Eastern Mediterranean, Balkans and Middle East, but you're not able to get it?
Oh, Crimea river.
What do you call an Eastern European couple after they get a divorce ?
Separate Czechs.
Did you hear about the Middle Eastern chef who died while working on his cookbook?
It will be released post-hummus....
What do you call a middle eastern elvis presley impersonator?
Amal Shookup
Someone threw middle eastern food at my friends
They must falafel.
I just went to a Middle Eastern market for the first time
It was a really Bazaar experience.
