Easter Jokes
192 easter jokes and hilarious easter puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about easter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make this Easter more entertaining with some hilarious Easter jokes. From Easter Bunny jokes to Christian jokes, these jokes are sure to have your friends and family in stitches. Learn some Easter puns and one-liners to make your Easter egg hunt more fun. Whether you like your Easter eggs boiled or chocolate, everyone loves a good joke.
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Funniest Easter Short Jokes
Short easter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The easter humour may include short resurrection jokes also.
- Son: why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son: Thanks dad
Dad: No problem Alan - Jesus was born on Christmas, died on good friday and rose on Easter. What are the odds?!?!
- I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.
- I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter. I think I dyed a little inside.
- My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter... "You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."
- I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg so I said to him, 'Which is your favourite Christian festival?'
He replied 'Have to love Easter, baby.' - My mom asked me what I was doing for Easter ... I said, "Same as Jesus. Going out on Friday and coming back Sunday"
- How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up? He uses Hare Spray...
(Ill see myself out) - Easter this year is April Fools Day Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.
- There are 3 perks of having Alzheimer 1. You can make new friends every day.
2. You can look for the Easter eggs you hid yourself.
3. You can make new friends every day.
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Easter One Liners
Which easter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with easter? I can suggest the ones about easter kids and easter egg hunt.
- Happy Greek Easter! Which Greek God loved to collect animals? Zoos
- Why do easter eggs hide? Because they're little chickens.
- Where is Jesus if he keeps going East? Easter
- What's the best thing about having alzeimhers disease? You can hide your own easter eggs
- You know what the best thing about Alzheimer's is? You can hide your own Easter eggs.
- Why is business good on Easter? Because prophets rise
- What beer do you drink on Easter Sunday? Rolling Rock
- What type of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear? 24 carrot
- What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny...
Happy Easter - Did you hear Easter was cancelled? They found the body.
- Why do capitalists celebrate Easter? They love when prophets rise.
- What does the Easter Bunny listen to while hiding eggs? Hip hop.
- How do you make easter easier? You uncross the t and dot it instead.
- I'm religious about brushing my teeth. I do it twice a year on Christmas and Easter.
- Why did the doctor go to hospital on Easter? Because he was Sikh
Easter Eggs Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter eggs jokes and even better easter eggs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter? It was an egg shell lent idea
- Doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news…" The bad news is that you have Alzheimer's.
The good news is now you can hide your own Easter eggs! - Arnold Schwarzenegger joined an Easter egg hunt but didn't find any eggs. His secretary asks "Does this mean you hate Easter now?" He shakes his head and responds:
"I still love Easter baby." - My grandmother was a somnambulist who had recurring dreams of coloring Easter eggs Conveniently, she dyed in her sleep last week.
- I was going to make a scene when they told me I couldn't join the Easter Egg hunt... ...instead I just left without a Peep.
- My grandpa has Alzheimer's. Easter is his favorite holiday. Because he can hide his own Easter eggs.
- My seven year old figured out Easter this year He said The Easter Bunny isn't real dad. It's really a man dressed as a bunny that hides eggs in your house
- Easter Kids' Joke Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?
(In a tone like you have no idea) "No bunny nose"
-Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend - I Was on an Egg Hunt Earlier. I tried to find them by heading to the far West, but it turns out it was an Easter Egg hunt.
- Why does the Easter bunny hide his eggs? He doesn't want anyone to know he's been messing around with a chicken.
(It's the only Easter joke that I know)
Easter Bunny Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter bunny jokes and even better easter bunny puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy? The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.
- Why did Donald Trump lock down the White House when the Easter Bunny was escaping? because his hare is almost gone.
- What's the difference between a male and female chocolate Easter bunny? About a quarter inch of chocolate
- How do things come out of the Easter Bunny? With rear eggularity.
- Why does the Easter Bunny drink IPAs? He loves the hops.
- Where does the Easter Bunny go to eat pancakes? To IHOP, of course!
- What do you call a rabbit that is closer to the sunrise than you? An East-er bunny
- My kid said I was like the Easter Bunny He stopped believing in me years ago
- The Easter Bunny joined the Olympics He heard first place gets 24 carrots.
- How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself? With a hare dryer!
Easter Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter day jokes and even better easter day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The last time Easter fell on April Fool's Day... ...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.
- Rumour has it... Rumour has it that Jesus got so hammered on Good Friday that he didn't wake up for 3 days.
(Easter Joke... Nailed it.) - Did you hear that Jesus was a bit of a drunk? One time He got so hammered that He fell asleep in a cave for three days before He woke up.
(heard in church today) :-) Happy Easter! - What did the washer & dryer do in the 40 days before Easter? Lint
- Jesus lesson on Easter Every time you have a big problem, or you're having a hard time in life, just remember Jesus' Easter lesson:
Pretend you're dead and disappear for 3 days. - Good Friday is the day Jesus died. Easter Sunday is the day Jesus rose from the dead.
And Cyber Monday is the day Jesus ascended into the cloud. - The problem with Easter cakes Is that they take three days to rise.
- My local tanning salon is offering an Easter special You know, in case you've been in a cave for the last few days.
- What did Jesus say before He ascended to Heaven on the 40th day of Easter? "Beam me up, Scotty."
- So I just learned that Easter and April fools are on the same day in Australia. Jesus ain't no joke.
Happy Easter Jokes
Here is a list of funny happy easter jokes and even better happy easter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do we color eggs for Easter? Because Jesus DYED for our sins.
Happy Easter! - The Alzheimer's Society has a special greeting for us all today: Happy Easter!
- Why is Jesus always shown with a six pack of abs? Because hes Cross fit.
Happy easter! - Do you remember when you were young and you believed things that weren't true? Like Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, that you're parents were happy together...
- Chocolate chip... How many men does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?... 3!
One to make the batter, two to squeeze the rabbit.
Happy Easter everyone - Don't go into the rent-a-tomb business.... It's only ever worked with one person.
Happy Easter ! God Bless ! - U2 fans who are lawyers... What do you call a lawyer who loves U2?
A Pro-Bono!
Happy Easter everyone! - Today is a most sacred day Happy Easter Thursday! 420 praise it!
- Happy Easter Everyone Happy Easter Everyone
- happy easter everyone! ahha april fools pontius pilate im alive.
Easter Egg Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter egg jokes and even better easter egg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why is Greek Easter always a Week after Normal Easter? Because the Easter eggs are always on special
- Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs! - In the spirit of Easter, I've hidden eggs around the appartment. In the spirit of April Fools, I'm not telling my roommates.
- Why is it tradition to color eggs for Easter? It is to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins.
- They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them I prefer mine poached!
- How do you make an Chocolat omelette? With Easter eggs.
- Neighborhood kids came over for an Easter egg hunt. Apparently hiding the eggs in the clothes I was wearing is somehow against the law?
- Did you hear about the old couple that passed away decorating Easter eggs? They dyed happily.
- Hiding my kids easter eggs in more obvious spots this year. Hope they can find the 20 eggs I left in the middle of the street.
- What is the difference between a dead body and an Easter egg? One is buried in a casket while the other is carried in a basket
P.s Got it from BoJack Horseman
Comical Easter Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about easter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean easter bunny jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make easter pranks.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
The usher in church greets one of their members...
and says "Welcome! You need to join the army of the Lord!"
The member says,"I am in the Lord's army".
The usher asked,"Then why do I only see you on Christmas and Easter?"
The member leaned over and whispered,"I'm in the Secret Service."
Offensive Easter Joke
Q: What kind of training did Jesus do for his Easter weekend?
A: Crossfit
Good Friday / Easter Joke
So it's after the resurrection and boy is Jesus in the mood for some partying. He gets the disciples together and heads for the club!
They hit the dance floor, but something is wrong - Jesus just can't seem to get in groove with the music. He tries and tries, but finally yells out. . .
Help! I've risen and I can't get down!
An elderly gay gentleman has one too many at a bar on the night before Easter
And throwing trepidation to the winds, he stumbles towards home through Central Park. He gets terribly lost on 110th St. and ends up careering into St. John the Divine just as they're beginning midnight mass. The priest is walking up the aisle and swinging the censor when the man runs up to him and hisses, "sweetie, I love the dress, but your *handbag is on fire.*"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pest Control
There is a church that is infested with rats. No amount of traps or exterminators have any effect on the still growing population. One day the local pastor thinks up a plan. The next day, all the rats are gone. The people are floored and asked what he did. He replies by saying that he baptized them and they will only be back on Christmas and Easter.
What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?
He is risen.
Who's the most famous chair tester?
Mike Easter
Everybody knows Christmas is way better than Easter
Even when it comes to Jesus -- the concept is better than the execution.
Coloured Eggs
A rooster was strutting around the hen house one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow.
The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.
Jesus/Easter joke
Jesus says to God, "Hey it's almost Easter, can't you like grant me a wish or something?"
God says "Oh alright then, but you only one."
So Jesus stretches out his arms as far as he can and says "I want to be hung like THIS!"
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his wife when she asked if Christmas was his favourite holiday
I still love Easter, Baby.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees...
Little Johnny claps his hands over his ears and says, "I don't wanna hear anymore! First you tell me there's no Santa Claus, and then there's no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either. If you're about to tell me grown ups don't have s**..., I got nothin' to believe in anymore!"
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees...
"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."
It's Easter Sunday morning...
... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walks in, sees all the colored eggs, then storms outside and kills the peacock.
"It's important we remember the true meaning of Easter"
- The Archbishop of Cadbury.
What's the opposite of Easter?
Wester
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
what did my s**... get for easter?
an egg hunt!
Resurrection day
Children at Sunday school were asked what resurrection meant. One boy replied, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts for more than 4 hours you should call a doctor." Happy Easter!
Easter used to be called Wester
But they decided to take things in a new direction.
Why did the rapper scream into his Easter basket?
He wanted to give a shoutout to his peeps
My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, "Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."
I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter.
The STAR WARS super agressive marketing will probably change the name of Easter to "The Christ Awakens"
My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously.
So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter.
What did the comedian eat on Easter?
Hot cross puns.
What did the buddhist monk say when he was asked if he was leaving?
Na 'ma stay. (namaste)
Grandfather joke at Easter dinner last sunday. Sorry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Irish man decides to go on Mastermind....
He's called to the chair.
'Your chosen subject?' asks the presenter.
'Easter Rising of 1916, sir,' he replied.
Time starts now ... What was the date of the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'Who led the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'How many men were involved in the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
Suddenly an Irish voice boomed from the studio audience:
'That's right, p**... - tell them nothing!'
Last year for Easter, we got these cool egg decorating kits, with markers, stickers, stencils etc.
I was trying to do an elaborate floral pattern on my eggs, but the stencil kept slipping. I got reeeeally distraught. More distraught than I had any right to be. But no matter how much I concentrated, I couldn't get the stencil to stay in the right place.
I was having an eggs n' stencil crisis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jesus may have been offended
Elderly couple in church during Easter mass. Wife turns to husband and says, "I have just done a silent f**..., what should I do?" Husband says, "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"
What's the worst way to spend easter?
Ask Jesus.
I am spending my Easter like Jesus...
I'm going out Friday and coming back Sunday.
What are we doing for Easter?
Wife: What are our plans for Easter?
Husband: I'll be like Jesus. Disappear on Friday and return on Sunday.
Wife: That's AWESOME. I'll be like Mary.
Husband: What do you mean?
Wife: I'll show up pregnant and untouched by my husband.
The Easter massacre
After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock
A church has a rat problem
The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back.
Next they try ask them politely to leave, still they won't budge.
Finally the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.
Now they only come at Christmas and Easter.
What did Jesus eat for dessert after the Last Supper?
an Easter Sundae
What do you get when you throw a rabbit into your oven during Easter?
A hot cross bunny
What did the eastern Russian say to the western Russian in the bathroom?
"European."
My grandpa told me this one today
There was a boy who lived on a farm. He decided that he wanted to pull an Easter prank. So the next morning he went into the hen house and swapped out all the eggs for colorful Easter eggs. When the rooster came in he took one look at the eggs and then immediate ran and killed the peacock.
Not the best joke but it made me chuckle
What did Jesus say when he rose from the dead on Easter Sunday?
April Fools! I'm not really dead!
Easter is on April 1st this year.
Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.
Oh my good and fellow Christians! It has been foretold our Lord and savior will once again rise from the dead and bless us all this Easter!
April Fools!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Easter eggs have to do with Jesus?
They are dyed for our sins.
I've told the wife this Easter I'm going to be like Jesus...
I'll disappear Friday and show up again Monday.
Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?
The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!
(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)
just got a new job and was to start today
Told them I won't be able to work
They said "Is it because its Sunday? You said you would on weekends." I said no that's not why.
They said "Is it because its Easter ? You said you would work holidays"
I said That's not it either. I won't be able to work because I am so tired and exhausted.
"Oh - Is this a joke because its Aprils fools day?"
I said "Its no joke - I just finished a 31 day march!"
