The Best 87 Easter Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Easter jokes. There are some easter festive jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these easter easter kids puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Easter Jokes and Puns

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.



"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

As a child my parents used to tell me about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Santa

I dont believe in those stories anymore, thank GOD

"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?"

"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"

"Thanks dad !"

"No problem Alan"

Easter joke, "Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?"

The usher in church greets one of their members...

and says "Welcome! You need to join the army of the Lord!"

The member says,"I am in the Lord's army".

The usher asked,"Then why do I only see you on Christmas and Easter?"

The member leaned over and whispered,"I'm in the Secret Service."

Offensive Easter Joke

Q: What kind of training did Jesus do for his Easter weekend?

A: Crossfit


Q: What's the good part about having alzheimer's?

You can hide your own easter eggs.

Pest Control

There is a church that is infested with rats. No amount of traps or exterminators have any effect on the still growing population. One day the local pastor thinks up a plan. The next day, all the rats are gone. The people are floored and asked what he did. He replies by saying that he baptized them and they will only be back on Christmas and Easter.

Easter joke, Pest Control

Coloured Eggs

A rooster was strutting around the hen house one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow.

The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.

You know what's great about senility?

You can hide your own Easter eggs.

What are the three best things about Alzheimer's?

You never hold a grudge ...

You can hide your own Easter eggs ...

And you meet new people every day!

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his wife when she asked if Christmas was his favourite holiday

I still love Easter, Baby.

You can explore easter bunnies reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean easter christ dad jokes. There are also easter puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees...

Little Johnny claps his hands over his ears and says, "I don't wanna hear anymore! First you tell me there's no Santa Claus, and then there's no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either. If you're about to tell me grown ups don't have sex, I got nothin' to believe in anymore!"

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees...

"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."

Doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news…"

The bad news is that you have Alzheimer's.

The good news is now you can hide your own Easter eggs!

It's Easter Sunday morning...

... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walks in, sees all the colored eggs, then storms outside and kills the peacock.

My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter...

"You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."

Easter joke, My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter...

Did you hear that Jesus was a bit of a drunk?

One time He got so hammered that He fell asleep in a cave for three days before He woke up.

(heard in church today) :-) Happy Easter!

what did my sperm get for easter?

an egg hunt!

Why is business good on Easter?

Because prophets rise


Resurrection day

Children at Sunday school were asked what resurrection meant. One boy replied, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts for more than 4 hours you should call a doctor." Happy Easter!

My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, "Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."

I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter.

You know what the best thing about Alzheimer's is?

You can hide your own Easter eggs.

Grandma and Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa are sitting at church on Easter Sunday, and Grandma leans over and whispers, "I just let out a silent fart, what should I do?"

Grandpa leans back and replies, "You should get new batteries for your hearing aids!"

My mom asked me what I was doing for Easter ...

I said, "Same as Jesus. Going out on Friday and coming back Sunday"

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray...

(Ill see myself out)

I met my town's bishop at Easter mass today but I think he might be an imposter...

... he didn't move diagonally

I was going to make a scene when they told me I couldn't join the Easter Egg hunt...

...instead I just left without a Peep.

Happy Greek Easter! Which Greek God loved to collect animals?

Zoos

If you have Alzheimer's, look on the bright side…

…at least you can hide your own Easter Eggs.

An Irish man decides to go on Mastermind....

He's called to the chair.

'Your chosen subject?' asks the presenter.

'Easter Rising of 1916, sir,' he replied.

Time starts now ... What was the date of the Easter Rising of 1916?'

'Pass.'

'Who led the Easter Rising of 1916?'

'Pass.'

'How many men were involved in the Easter Rising of 1916?'

'Pass.'

Suddenly an Irish voice boomed from the studio audience:

'That's right, Paddy - tell them nothing!'

Little Johnny and the Birds and the Bees

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

I go to the gym religiously

Christmas, and maybe Easter

There are 3 perks of having Alzheimer

1. You can make new friends every day.
2. You can look for the Easter eggs you hid yourself.
3. You can make new friends every day.

Jesus may have been offended

Elderly couple in church during Easter mass. Wife turns to husband and says, "I have just done a silent fart, what should I do?" Husband says, "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

My grandpa has Alzheimer's. Easter is his favorite holiday.

Because he can hide his own Easter eggs.

What type of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear?

24 carrot

What are we doing for Easter?

Wife: What are our plans for Easter?

Husband: I'll be like Jesus. Disappear on Friday and return on Sunday.

Wife: That's AWESOME. I'll be like Mary.

Husband: What do you mean?

Wife: I'll show up pregnant and untouched by my husband.

The Easter massacre

After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock

A church has a rat problem

The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back.
Next they try ask them politely to leave, still they won't budge.
Finally the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.

Now they only come at Christmas and Easter.

Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?

Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem Alan.

What did the eastern Russian say to the western Russian in the bathroom?

"European."

Easter this year is April Fools Day

Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.

My grandpa told me this one today

There was a boy who lived on a farm. He decided that he wanted to pull an Easter prank. So the next morning he went into the hen house and swapped out all the eggs for colorful Easter eggs. When the rooster came in he took one look at the eggs and then immediate ran and killed the peacock.

Not the best joke but it made me chuckle

What's the best thing about having alzeimhers disease?

You can hide your own easter eggs

Easter is on April 1st this year.

Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.

Arnold Schwarzenegger joined an Easter egg hunt but didn't find any eggs. His secretary asks "Does this mean you hate Easter now?"

He shakes his head and responds:
"I still love Easter baby."

Why do easter eggs hide?

Because they're little chickens.

I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg

so I said to him, 'Which is your favourite Christian festival?'
He replied 'Have to love Easter, baby.'

What's Arnold Schwarzenegger's favourite holiday?

"Have to love Easter, baby!"

Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!

(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

What beer do you drink on Easter Sunday?

Rolling Rock

The last time Easter fell on April Fool's Day...

...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs Bunny...

Happy Easter

I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.

I think I dyed a little inside.

Happy Easter

April Fools
Now go pay your rent.

My grandmother was a somnambulist who had recurring dreams of coloring Easter eggs

Conveniently, she dyed in her sleep last week.

Did you hear Easter was cancelled?

They found the body.

Son: Mom, why is my sister called Teresa?

Mom: Because Teresa is an Anagram of Easter and we love Easter!

Son: Oh I see. Thanks mom!

Mom: My pleasure Alan.

I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...

My personal spell Czech.

A boy is talking to his father

"Dad," he asks, "why is my sister named Teresa?"
"Well son," replies his father, "your mother loves Easter, and I'm a fan of anagrams, so we combined both."
"Aw, that's really nice, thanks dad."
"No problem, Alan."

Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy?

The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.

Dad...

"Dad, why is my sister Teresa called Teresa?"

"Well, son, your mum loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter and so we named her Teresa"

"Thanks, Dad."

"No problem, Alan"

Where is Jesus if he keeps going East?

Easter

Anagram

Son : Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?

Dad: Because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram for Easter.

Son: Thanks for the explanation Dad!

Dad: You are welcome, Alan!

Great Easter joke I heard today

**Wife:** "What are your plans for Easter?"

**Husband**: "Same as Jesus."

**Wife**: "What do you mean?"

**Husband**: "I will disappear on Friday and and reappear on Monday."

**Wife**: "AWESOME, if you do that I'll do the same as Mary."

**Husband**: "What do you mean?"

**Wife**: "Show up pregnant, untouched by my husband"



Husband stayed home all Easter.

What's the best thing about having dementia at Easter?

You can hide your own Easter eggs.

When I was a kid, my parents fed me a lot of bullshit, like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But I finally started thinking for myself and realized it was all wishful thinking.

Thank you Jesus!

A little boy asks his Dad.....

"Dad. Why is my sister called Teresa?"

"Well, son. Your mother loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter."

"Oh, I see! Thanks, Dad!"

"No problem, Alan!"

I'm religious about brushing my teeth.

I do it twice a year on Christmas and Easter.

When I was a kid, I used to believe in such nonsense as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny.

Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that rubbish anymore, thank God.

Dad, why is my sister called Teresa?



Well son, your mum really really loves Easter, and Teresa is an anagram of Easter

Thanks Dad

You're welcome Alan

Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter?

It was an egg shell lent idea

Both of my parents died in a car crash when I was a kid.

Not only did I lose my parents, but Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny all forgot about me that year too.

When I was a kid, I used to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy

Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that nonsense any more, thank God.

Me: Why is my sister's name Teresa?

Dad: because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram for Easter.

Me: Thanks, dad.

Dad: no problem, Alan.

Father calls little Johnny over to give him the birds and the bees talk...

Johnny starts crying uncontrollably the moment he says this.

"Whats wrong? I haven't even told you anything yet!" the surprised father asks.

Little Johnny tries to talk through the tears:

"Two years ago, you wanted to talk about Easter bunny, then told me he wasn't real...

Then last year you wanted to talk about Santa, and told me he isn't real either...

If now you tell me sex isn't real, I have nothing left to live for!"

This Easter, the catholic church is sourcing all of it's bread and wine from a factory in China.

It's called mass production.

How do you make easter easier?

You uncross the t and dot it instead.

My seven year old figured out Easter this year

He said The Easter Bunny isn't real dad. It's really a man dressed as a bunny that hides eggs in your house

What does the Easter Bunny listen to while hiding eggs?

Hip hop.

I Was on an Egg Hunt Earlier.

I tried to find them by heading to the far West, but it turns out it was an Easter Egg hunt.

Rumour has it...

Rumour has it that Jesus got so hammered on Good Friday that he didn't wake up for 3 days.

(Easter Joke... Nailed it.)

Mum loves Easter

Dad why is my baby sister called Teresa?
Well son it's an anagram of Easter, and we know how much your mum loves Easter.
Gee thanks dad.
Your welcome Alan

A boy asked his father "Why is my sister named Theresa?" "Because your mother loves Easter and Theresa is an anagram." "Thanks dad."

"Your welcome Alan."

There are three advantages alzheimer's...

1. You can hide your own easter eggs.

2. You get to meet new people everyday.

3. You can hide your own easter eggs.

My parents named me and my sister after anagrams of things they love most...

So my sister is Teresa because they love Easter, still not worked out why I'm called Alan.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the easter easter egg hunt jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working easter easter jesus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes