Easter Jokes
193 easter jokes and hilarious easter puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about easter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make this Easter more entertaining with some hilarious Easter jokes. From Easter Bunny jokes to Christian jokes, these jokes are sure to have your friends and family in stitches. Learn some Easter puns and one-liners to make your Easter egg hunt more fun. Whether you like your Easter eggs boiled or chocolate, everyone loves a good joke.
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Funniest Easter Short Jokes
Short easter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The easter humour may include short resurrection jokes also.
- "Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?" "Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan" - Son: why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son: Thanks dad
Dad: No problem Alan - Jesus was born on Christmas, died on good friday and rose on Easter. What are the odds?!?!
- Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa? Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: No problem Alan. - I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy. Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.
- I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter. I think I dyed a little inside.
- Me: Why is my sister's name Teresa? Dad: because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram for Easter.
Me: Thanks, dad.
Dad: no problem, Alan. - If you have Alzheimer's, look on the bright side… …at least you can hide your own Easter Eggs.
- When I was a kid, I used to believe in such nonsense as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that rubbish anymore, thank God.
- My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter... "You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."
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Easter One Liners
Which easter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with easter? I can suggest the ones about risen and easter kids.
- Happy Greek Easter! Which Greek God loved to collect animals? Zoos
- Why do easter eggs hide? Because they're little chickens.
- Where is Jesus if he keeps going East? Easter
- What's the best thing about having alzeimhers disease? You can hide your own easter eggs
- You know what the best thing about Alzheimer's is? You can hide your own Easter eggs.
- You know what's great about senility? You can hide your own Easter eggs.
- Q: What's the good part about having alzheimer's? You can hide your own easter eggs.
- Why is business good on Easter? Because prophets rise
- What beer do you drink on Easter Sunday? Rolling Rock
- What type of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear? 24 carrot
- What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny...
Happy Easter - Did you hear Easter was cancelled? They found the body.
- I go to the gym religiously Christmas, and maybe Easter
- Why do capitalists celebrate Easter? They love when prophets rise.
- What does the Easter Bunny listen to while hiding eggs? Hip hop.
Easter Eggs Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter eggs jokes and even better easter eggs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg so I said to him, 'Which is your favourite Christian festival?'
He replied 'Have to love Easter, baby.' - There are 3 perks of having Alzheimer 1. You can make new friends every day.
2. You can look for the Easter eggs you hid yourself.
3. You can make new friends every day. - Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter? It was an egg shell lent idea
- Doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news…" The bad news is that you have Alzheimer's.
The good news is now you can hide your own Easter eggs! - Arnold Schwarzenegger joined an Easter egg hunt but didn't find any eggs. His secretary asks "Does this mean you hate Easter now?" He shakes his head and responds:
"I still love Easter baby." - What are the three best things about Alzheimer's? You never hold a grudge ...
You can hide your own Easter eggs ...
And you meet new people every day! - My grandmother was a somnambulist who had recurring dreams of coloring Easter eggs Conveniently, she dyed in her sleep last week.
- I was going to make a scene when they told me I couldn't join the Easter Egg hunt... ...instead I just left without a Peep.
- What's the best thing about having dementia at Easter? You can hide your own Easter eggs.
- My grandpa has Alzheimer's. Easter is his favorite holiday. Because he can hide his own Easter eggs.
Easter Bunny Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter bunny jokes and even better easter bunny puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up? He uses Hare Spray...
(Ill see myself out) - As a child my parents used to tell me about the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy and Santa I dont believe in those stories anymore, thank GOD
- Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy? The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.
- When I was a kid, I used to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy Now that I've grown older, I don't believe in that nonsense any more, thank God.
- Why did Donald Trump lock down the White House when the Easter Bunny was escaping? because his hare is almost gone.
- What's the difference between a male and female chocolate Easter bunny? About a quarter inch of chocolate
- My seven year old figured out Easter this year He said The Easter Bunny isn't real dad. It's really a man dressed as a bunny that hides eggs in your house
- How do things come out of the Easter Bunny? With rear eggularity.
- Easter Kids' Joke Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?
(In a tone like you have no idea) "No bunny nose"
-Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend - Why does the Easter Bunny drink IPAs? He loves the hops.

Easter Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter day jokes and even better easter day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Easter this year is April Fools Day Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.
- The last time Easter fell on April Fool's Day... ...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.
- Rumour has it... Rumour has it that Jesus got so hammered on Good Friday that he didn't wake up for 3 days.
(Easter Joke... Nailed it.) - Did you hear that Jesus was a bit of a drunk? One time He got so hammered that He fell asleep in a cave for three days before He woke up.
(heard in church today) :-) Happy Easter! - What did the washer & dryer do in the 40 days before Easter? Lint
- Jesus lesson on Easter Every time you have a big problem, or you're having a hard time in life, just remember Jesus' Easter lesson:
Pretend you're dead and disappear for 3 days. - Good Friday is the day Jesus died. Easter Sunday is the day Jesus rose from the dead.
And Cyber Monday is the day Jesus ascended into the cloud. - The problem with Easter cakes Is that they take three days to rise.
- Another take on an old joke: What are the 3 best things about Alzheimers? 1. Hiding your own Easter eggs;
2. Meeting new and interesting people every day, and
3. Hiding your own Easter eggs. - My local tanning salon is offering an Easter special You know, in case you've been in a cave for the last few days.
Happy Easter Jokes
Here is a list of funny happy easter jokes and even better happy easter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Happy Easter April Fools
Now go pay your rent. - Why do we color eggs for Easter? Because Jesus DYED for our sins.
Happy Easter! - The Alzheimer's Society has a special greeting for us all today: Happy Easter!
- Why is Jesus always shown with a six pack of abs? Because hes Cross fit.
Happy easter! - Q. Dad, why did you name my sister "Teresa"? A. Well, son, "Teresa" is an anagram of "Easter", and Easter is your mother's favorite holiday. Why do you ask, Alan?
Happy Easter, everyone. - Do you remember when you were young and you believed things that weren't true? Like Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, that you're parents were happy together...
- Chocolate chip... How many men does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?... 3!
One to make the batter, two to squeeze the rabbit.
Happy Easter everyone - Don't go into the rent-a-tomb business.... It's only ever worked with one person.
Happy Easter ! God Bless ! - U2 fans who are lawyers... What do you call a lawyer who loves U2?
A Pro-Bono!
Happy Easter everyone! - Today is a most sacred day Happy Easter Thursday! 420 praise it!
Easter Egg Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter egg jokes and even better easter egg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There are three advantages alzheimer's... 1. You can hide your own easter eggs.
2. You get to meet new people everyday.
3. You can hide your own easter eggs. - I Was on an Egg Hunt Earlier. I tried to find them by heading to the far West, but it turns out it was an Easter Egg hunt.
- Why does the Easter bunny hide his eggs? He doesn't want anyone to know he's been messing around with a chicken.
(It's the only Easter joke that I know) - Why is Greek Easter always a Week after Normal Easter? Because the Easter eggs are always on special
- What do Easter eggs have to do with Jesus? They are dyed for our sins.
- Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs! - In the spirit of Easter, I've hidden eggs around the appartment. In the spirit of April Fools, I'm not telling my roommates.
- End childhood obesity... Eat your kids' Easter eggs
- Why is it tradition to color eggs for Easter? It is to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins.
- They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them I prefer mine poached!

Comical Easter Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about easter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean easter egg hunt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make easter pranks.
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have s**..., I've got nothing left to believe in."
Where does the Easter Bunny go to eat pancakes? To IHOP, of course!
The usher in church greets one of their members...
and says "Welcome! You need to join the army of the Lord!"
The member says,"I am in the Lord's army".
The usher asked,"Then why do I only see you on Christmas and Easter?"
The member leaned over and whispered,"I'm in the Secret Service."
Offensive Easter Joke
Q: What kind of training did Jesus do for his Easter weekend?
A: Crossfit
Pest Control
There is a church that is infested with rats. No amount of traps or exterminators have any effect on the still growing population. One day the local pastor thinks up a plan. The next day, all the rats are gone. The people are floored and asked what he did. He replies by saying that he baptized them and they will only be back on Christmas and Easter.
What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist?
He is risen.
Everybody knows Christmas is way better than Easter
Even when it comes to Jesus -- the concept is better than the execution.
Coloured Eggs
A rooster was strutting around the hen house one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow.
The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.
Jesus/Easter joke
Jesus says to God, "Hey it's almost Easter, can't you like grant me a wish or something?"
God says "Oh alright then, but you only one."
So Jesus stretches out his arms as far as he can and says "I want to be hung like THIS!"
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his wife when she asked if Christmas was his favourite holiday
I still love Easter, Baby.
Why did the doctor go to hospital on Easter?
Because he was Sikh
Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees...
Little Johnny claps his hands over his ears and says, "I don't wanna hear anymore! First you tell me there's no Santa Claus, and then there's no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either. If you're about to tell me grown ups don't have s**..., I got nothin' to believe in anymore!"
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees...
"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."
It's Easter Sunday morning...
... and chubby Chuck has been chomping on Easter eggs all night. He decides that he simply can't eat one more Easter egg. So he plays a prank. He goes into the chicken coop and replaces every single egg the hens have laid with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walks in, sees all the colored eggs, then storms outside and kills the peacock.
what did my s**... get for easter?
an egg hunt!
Resurrection day
Children at Sunday school were asked what resurrection meant. One boy replied, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts for more than 4 hours you should call a doctor." Happy Easter!
Easter used to be called Wester
But they decided to take things in a new direction.
Why did the rapper scream into his Easter basket?
He wanted to give a shoutout to his peeps
My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, "Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."
I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter.
Grandma and Grandpa
Grandma and Grandpa are sitting at church on Easter Sunday, and Grandma leans over and whispers, "I just let out a silent f**..., what should I do?"
Grandpa leans back and replies, "You should get new batteries for your hearing aids!"
Plans for Easter
Wife: What are your plans for Easter?
Husband: Same as Jesus..
Wife: What do you mean ??
Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!
My mom asked me what I was doing for Easter ...
I said, "Same as Jesus. Going out on Friday and coming back Sunday"
I met my town's bishop at Easter mass today but I think he might be an imposter...
... he didn't move diagonally
Why is eastern europe filled with strippers?
Because they like Poles.
An Irish man decides to go on Mastermind....
He's called to the chair.
'Your chosen subject?' asks the presenter.
'Easter Rising of 1916, sir,' he replied.
Time starts now ... What was the date of the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'Who led the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'How many men were involved in the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
Suddenly an Irish voice boomed from the studio audience:
'That's right, p**... - tell them nothing!'
Little Johnny and the Birds and the Bees
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have s**..., I've got nothing left to believe in."
Jesus may have been offended
Elderly couple in church during Easter mass. Wife turns to husband and says, "I have just done a silent f**..., what should I do?" Husband says, "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"
I floss religiously.
I do it on Christmas and Easter.
What are we doing for Easter?
Wife: What are our plans for Easter?
Husband: I'll be like Jesus. Disappear on Friday and return on Sunday.
Wife: That's AWESOME. I'll be like Mary.
Husband: What do you mean?
Wife: I'll show up pregnant and untouched by my husband.
The Easter massacre
After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one. A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock
A church has a rat problem
The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back.
Next they try ask them politely to leave, still they won't budge.
Finally the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.
Now they only come at Christmas and Easter.
Son : Why's my sister called Teresa?
Dad : Cause your mom and I love Easter, it's an anagram
Son : Oh wow that's pretty cool
Dad : I know Alan
What did the eastern Russian say to the western Russian in the bathroom?
"European."
My grandpa told me this one today
There was a boy who lived on a farm. He decided that he wanted to pull an Easter prank. So the next morning he went into the hen house and swapped out all the eggs for colorful Easter eggs. When the rooster came in he took one look at the eggs and then immediate ran and killed the peacock.
Not the best joke but it made me chuckle
What did Jesus say when he rose from the dead on Easter Sunday?
April Fools! I'm not really dead!
Easter is on April 1st this year.
Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.
Oh my good and fellow Christians! It has been foretold our Lord and savior will once again rise from the dead and bless us all this Easter!
April Fools!
I've told the wife this Easter I'm going to be like Jesus...
I'll disappear Friday and show up again Monday.
What's Arnold Schwarzenegger's favourite holiday?
"Have to love Easter, baby!"
Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?
The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!
(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)
just got a new job and was to start today
Told them I won't be able to work
They said "Is it because its Sunday? You said you would on weekends." I said no that's not why.
They said "Is it because its Easter ? You said you would work holidays"
I said That's not it either. I won't be able to work because I am so tired and exhausted.
"Oh - Is this a joke because its Aprils fools day?"
I said "Its no joke - I just finished a 31 day march!"
Son: Mom, why is my sister called Teresa?
Mom: Because Teresa is an Anagram of Easter and we love Easter!
Son: Oh I see. Thanks mom!
Mom: My pleasure Alan.
I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...
My personal spell Czech.
A boy is talking to his father
"Dad," he asks, "why is my sister named Teresa?"
"Well son," replies his father, "your mother loves Easter, and I'm a fan of anagrams, so we combined both."
"Aw, that's really nice, thanks dad."
"No problem, Alan."

