The Best 35 Easter Jesus Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Easter Jesus jokes. There are some easter jesus jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these easter jesus puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Easter Jesus Jokes and Puns

What are we doing for Easter?

Wife: What are our plans for Easter?

Husband: I'll be like Jesus. Disappear on Friday and return on Sunday.

Wife: That's AWESOME. I'll be like Mary.

Husband: What do you mean?

Wife: I'll show up pregnant and untouched by my husband.

My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter...

"You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."

When I was a kid, my parents fed me a lot of bullshit, like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But I finally started thinking for myself and realized it was all wishful thinking.

Thank you Jesus!

Jesus may have been offended

Elderly couple in church during Easter mass. Wife turns to husband and says, "I have just done a silent fart, what should I do?" Husband says, "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"

Great Easter joke I heard today

**Wife:** "What are your plans for Easter?"

**Husband**: "Same as Jesus."

**Wife**: "What do you mean?"

**Husband**: "I will disappear on Friday and and reappear on Monday."

**Wife**: "AWESOME, if you do that I'll do the same as Mary."

**Husband**: "What do you mean?"

**Wife**: "Show up pregnant, untouched by my husband"



Husband stayed home all Easter.


My mom asked me what I was doing for Easter ...

I said, "Same as Jesus. Going out on Friday and coming back Sunday"

Where is Jesus if he keeps going East?

Easter

The last time Easter fell on April Fool's Day...

...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.

Easter is on April 1st this year.

Where we remember the original April fools joke performed by Jesus himself.

Rumour has it...

Rumour has it that Jesus got so hammered on Good Friday that he didn't wake up for 3 days.

(Easter Joke... Nailed it.)

Did you hear that Jesus was a bit of a drunk?

One time He got so hammered that He fell asleep in a cave for three days before He woke up.

(heard in church today) :-) Happy Easter!

You can explore easter jesus reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean easter jesus dad jokes. There are also easter jesus puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Offensive Easter Joke

Q: What kind of training did Jesus do for his Easter weekend?

A: Crossfit

I've told the wife this Easter I'm going to be like Jesus...

I'll disappear Friday and show up again Monday.

What did Jesus say when he rose from the dead on Easter Sunday?

April Fools! I'm not really dead!

Plans for Easter

Wife: What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus..

Wife: What do you mean ??

Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

Nobody knew Jesus' twin brother.

Until Easter.

Jesus lesson on Easter

Every time you have a big problem, or you're having a hard time in life, just remember Jesus' Easter lesson:

Pretend you're dead and disappear for 3 days.

Jesus/Easter joke

Jesus says to God, "Hey it's almost Easter, can't you like grant me a wish or something?"

God says "Oh alright then, but you only one."

So Jesus stretches out his arms as far as he can and says "I want to be hung like THIS!"

Everybody knows Christmas is way better than Easter

Even when it comes to Jesus -- the concept is better than the execution.


If Jesus was born on Christmas and was resurrected on Easter, what happened on Black Friday?

Sales at K-Mart

I'm going to Rio de Janeiro over Easter to see if I can find Jesus.

Heard he's really big over there!

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her first-grade class.

"Class," she said, "what were the first words Jesus said when he walked out of the tomb on Easter morning?"

A little girl waved her hand excitedly. "Ooh! Ooh! I know!" she said. "Pick me! Pick me!"

The teach smiled and said, "All right, Susie. What did Jesus say when he walked out of the tomb?"

Susie stood up proudly. "He said, 'TAH-DAH!'"

What do Easter eggs have to do with Jesus?

They are dyed for our sins.

Easter

Wife: What are you doing for Easter?
Hubbie: the same thing Jesus does.

Wife: what do you mean?
Hubbie: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday.

Wife: that's amazing. Go ahead you do that and I'll be like Mary.
Hubbie: What do you mean?

Wife: I'll show up pregnant, untouched by my husband.

What's the worst way to spend easter?

Ask Jesus.

What did Jesus eat for dessert after the Last Supper?

an Easter Sundae

Why is Jesus always shown with a six pack of abs?

Because hes Cross fit.

Happy easter!

Why is it tradition to color eggs for Easter?

It is to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins.

I am spending my Easter like Jesus...

I'm going out Friday and coming back Sunday.

My mum asked me what i had planned for easter.

I told her same as Jesus. Im going out on Friday and i will be back on Sunday

Good Friday / Easter Joke

So it's after the resurrection and boy is Jesus in the mood for some partying. He gets the disciples together and heads for the club!

They hit the dance floor, but something is wrong - Jesus just can't seem to get in groove with the music. He tries and tries, but finally yells out. . .

Help! I've risen and I can't get down!

Good Friday is the day Jesus died.

Easter Sunday is the day Jesus rose from the dead.

And Cyber Monday is the day Jesus ascended into the cloud.

What did Jesus say before He ascended to Heaven on the 40th day of Easter?

"Beam me up, Scotty."

What did Jesus say to Mary on Easter?

April Fools!

So I just learned that Easter and April fools are on the same day in Australia.

Jesus ain't no joke.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the easter jesus jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working easter jesus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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