Easter Day Jokes

43 easter day jokes and hilarious easter day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about easter day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Easter Day Short Jokes

Short easter day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The easter day humour may include short easter sunday jokes also.

  1. Easter this year is April Fools Day Just remember that so you don't fall for any crazy stories like people coming back from the dead.
  2. There are 3 perks of having Alzheimer 1. You can make new friends every day.
    2. You can look for the Easter eggs you hid yourself.
    3. You can make new friends every day.
  3. The last time Easter fell on April Fool's Day... ...Jesus tricked everybody by making them think he was dead for two days.
  4. Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter? It was an egg shell lent idea
  5. Rumour has it... Rumour has it that Jesus got so hammered on good friday that he didn't wake up for 3 days.
    (Easter Joke... Nailed it.)
  6. What are the three best things about Alzheimer's? You never hold a grudge ...
    You can hide your own Easter eggs ...
    And you meet new people every day!
  7. Did you hear that Jesus was a bit of a drunk? One time He got so hammered that He fell asleep in a cave for three days before He woke up.
    (heard in church today) :-) Happy Easter!
  8. Jesus lesson on Easter Every time you have a big problem, or you're having a hard time in life, just remember Jesus' Easter lesson:
    Pretend you're dead and disappear for 3 days.
  9. Good Friday is the day Jesus died. Easter Sunday is the day Jesus rose from the dead.
    And Cyber Monday is the day Jesus ascended into the cloud.
  10. Another take on an old joke: What are the 3 best things about Alzheimers? 1. Hiding your own Easter eggs;
    2. Meeting new and interesting people every day, and
    3. Hiding your own Easter eggs.

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Easter Day One Liners

Which easter day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with easter day? I can suggest the ones about easter kids and happy easter.

  1. What did the washer & dryer do in the 40 days before Easter? Lint
  2. The problem with Easter cakes Is that they take three days to rise.
  3. Of course Thomas was skeptical, why not? The first Easter was on April Fool's Day.
  4. What day does an Easter egg hate the most? Fry-days.
  5. Isn't it ironic that April Fool's is the same day as Easter?
  6. Today is a most sacred day Happy Easter Thursday! 420 praise it!
  7. Apple iPhone Update Removes Easter from Calendar It should be back in three days
  8. Easter is a sad day for Lance Armstrong He can never seem to find more than one egg
  9. Easter Jesus told me: "one time, I got so hammered I didn't wake up for three days

Amusing & Witty Easter Day Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about easter day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean easter bunny jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make easter day pranks.

A church has a rat problem

The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back.
Next they try ask them politely to leave, still they won't budge.
Finally the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.
Now they only come at Christmas and Easter.

Pest Control

There is a church that is infested with rats. No amount of traps or exterminators have any effect on the still growing population. One day the local pastor thinks up a plan. The next day, all the rats are gone. The people are floored and asked what he did. He replies by saying that he baptized them and they will only be back on Christmas and Easter.

Did you know the first Easter and ther first april fools day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!
(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

Resurrection day

Children at Sunday school were asked what resurrection meant. One boy replied, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts for more than 4 hours you should call a doctor." Happy Easter!

just got a new job and was to start today

Told them I won't be able to work
They said "Is it because its Sunday? You said you would on weekends." I said no that's not why.
They said "Is it because its Easter ? You said you would work holidays"
I said That's not it either. I won't be able to work because I am so tired and exhausted.
"Oh - Is this a joke because its Aprils fools day?"
I said "Its no joke - I just finished a 31 day march!"

What's the Easter Bunny's favorite beer?

A double IPA because of it's high alcohol content he can get drunk quick, after dealing with those kids all day.
Oh... the the fact that it's extra hoppy is just a bonus!

My local tanning salon is offering an Easter special

You know, in case you've been in a cave for the last few days.

What did Jesus say before He ascended to Heaven on the 40th day of Easter?

"Beam me up, Scotty."

So I just learned that Easter and April fools are on the same day in Australia.

Jesus ain't no joke.

Did you know that the first April fool's day was on Easter Sunday?

That Jesus sure could pull off a prank!

Easter Kids' Joke 2

What do you call a brown bunny that comes a day after Easter?

What did Worf say when O'Brien took him to Easter mass?

Perhaps today *is* a good day to tithe.

Arnold Schwarzenegger goes back to Austria for Easter Break.

When he returns to California his friend says to him, "Arnie, I heard you went back home to Austria for Easter. How was it?"
Arnie replied : "Oh it was terrible! My Father ruined the Easter Egg hunt, he put all of the eggs in awful places and nobody could find any eggs and quite generally, we all had an awful day."
His colleague then says, "Oh Arnie that's no good at all, I'm sorry to hear! Does that mean you don't love easter anymore?"
Arnie: "Oh no,of course not! I still love Easter, baby."

Dang squirrels

There once was a town that was infested with squirrels. They were everywhere and got into everything. The people of the town hated it especially the miller, the blacksmith, and the priest.
One day the miller decides that enough is enough and lays out some poisoned four to kill the s**... things off. Well his apprentice mixed up the flours and he ended up having to throw out his whole stock of flour and the squirrels remained
Seeing how badly his friend had blundered with his antics, the blacksmith thinks he has a better idea. "I'll roast'm out" he says to himself and proceeds to make his forge extremely hot.... and ends up burning his shop to the ground. the squirrels remained.
The priest being fed up with the squirrels running around and ruining mass gathers up all the squirrels in one place and baptizes every one of them. Now they only come to the church on Christmas and Easter.

Three p**... are discussing the meaning of Easter

The first p**... says, "Easter is that time of year when your family comes over for the night. You sit down to a big turkey dinner and you watch football.
"No you m**...," said the second p**.... "That is Thanksgiving. Easter is the time of year when a fat man in a red suit comes down your chimney and leaves you presents underneath a tree."
"Don't be s**...," said the third p**.... "You should know that is Christmas. Easter is the time of year when Jesus died for our sins and was put behind a boulder. Then in three days, he pushed the boulder out of the way, stepped outside, saw his shadow and ran back inside shouting six more weeks of winter."

Church squirrels

All five churches in a small Texas town were having a terrible problem with squirrel infestations. Predictably, they all had different ways of dealing with the problem.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
The Catholic church came up with what they thought was the best and most effective solution: they baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Still, the Jewish synagogue beat them all: they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called a bris -- and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

jokes about easter day