East Germany Jokes
9 east germany jokes and hilarious east germany puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about east germany that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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East Germany Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good east germany joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
East and West Germany
In West Germany your job determines your Marks.
In East Germany Marx determines your job.
Old joke from East Germany.
Three guys work at a factory:
1st guy comes 5 minutes too late for work. Gets arrested for sabotage.
2nd guy comes 5 minutes too early for work. Gets arrested for espionage.
3rd guy comes to work on time. Gets arrested for possessing a West-Uhr. (a watch from the west)
Why was East Germany created?
Three Reichs make a Left.
Russian referendum.
Russia initiates a referendum in Crimea about returning Crimea back to Russia. Ukraine initiates a referendum about returning Kaliningrad to Germany, Sakhalin and the Kuril Islands to Japan, Kazan - to Tatar, Karelia - to Finland, Siberia to Yakuts, and everything situated east from Ural mountains - to ingenious people.
Why did East Germany have a drafting compass on their flag?
So that you could draw the direction the country was going.
Why, despite all the shortages, was the toilet paper in East Germany always 2-ply?
Because they had to send a copy of everything they did to Moscow.
Three men are serving jail time in East Germany.
As they wait for time to pass, they eventually talk about why they were imprisoned.
The first one says: "Everyday, I got to work five minutes early, so they condemned me for espionage!"
The other two ask the second man.
He says: "Everyday, I got to work 5 minutes late, so they condemned me for sabotage!"
Men number one and two are getting curious about the third man.
Upon asking him, he says: "Everyday, i got to work exactly in time, so they condemned me for using a watch from West Germany!"
An old joke from East Germany
A German worker gets a job in Siberia. Aware of how all mail will be read by censors, he tells his friends: "Let's establish a code: if a letter you will get from me is written in ordinary blue ink, it is true; if it is written in red ink, it is false."
After a month, his friends get the first letter, written in blue ink: "Everything is wonderful here: stores are full, food is abundant, apartments are large and properly heated, movie theaters show films from the West, there are many beautiful girls ready for an affair—the only thing unavailable is *red ink*."
Tanslated East German Jokes
A man walks to the dock where he sees a big cargo ship. He shouts: "Where are you heading?"
The captain answers: "We are a trading ship loaded with industrial goods and are headed for St.Petersburg to trade with the sowjet union."
The man: "Oh and with what are you getting back?"
The captain: "If we are lucky we get back with our ship."
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The sowjet Union and the people's republic of China had some border conflict where Moscow threated to use nukes. After the US President said he would use nukes on Chinas side, they agree to negotiate a peace treaty.
China: We want 1000 new Diesel Motors.
Muscow: Done.
China: We also want 100 new trains.
Muscow: Done.
China: And finally 1000 tons of rice.
Muscow: Oh we cant do that, rice can not be produced in east Germany.
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The context is that the sowjet union took a huge part of Germany's production without asking or paying.
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