East German Jokes
12 east german jokes and hilarious east german puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about east german that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest East German Short Jokes
Short east german jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The east german humour may include short mean german jokes also.
- German 1970's joke What's the difference between the east-german and the west-german accent? While the former is shared by most, the latter is richer.
- Why did the East Germans change their helmets? Because Stalin sat on them, and they couldn't afford new ones!
- What do you call someone who got fired from the East German secret police for substance a**... ? An Ex-Stasi
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East German One Liners
Which east german one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with east german? I can suggest the ones about german car and german jew.
- I hate East German Cars I mean, the Trabant was a load of old pants.
Amusing & Witty East German Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about east german you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean german language jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make east german pranks.
Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:
Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.
Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.
Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"
The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.
Here's a joke for English and irish
So 3 people go to the middle East, a German a English and a irish. They get captured and sent to a Prince, the Prince gives them each one wish and 20 whips to the back. The German goes first and asks for a pillow on his back, he gets the pillow and the whips but it doesn't work. Next is the English he asks for two pillows and again it shreds throgh them. Next is the Irish, the prince's wife grants him one more since she likes his people. The Irish man first asks for 100 whips, and for the English guy to be strapped to his back.
A Soviet airline pilot had to land in East Berlin, but couldn't find the airport.
Finally the German ground controller snapped and asked him: "Have you EVER flown to Berlin?"
The Soviet pilot says "Yes, many times, but we didn't land there."
Two East German guards were standing near the Berlin wall.
"What do you think of our regime?" asked the first.
"The same as you!" the second replied.
"In that case," said the first guard, "it is my duty to arrest you!"
Two German explorers
Two German explorers were making their way east across New York when they came to a wide river.
Karl: How vill vee get across dee large body of vater?
The other explorer sees a large, steel object north of them.
Heinrich: Look der es und structure dat vee can use to cross
Karl and Heinrich make their way across and into the land know as upstate New York. Karl gets to the other side but notices that his companion is still behind. Karl also notices that he is continuously poking his finger on the object they just crossed.
Karl: Heinrich, vat are you doing?
Heinrich: I'm Tappan Zee Bridge
An old joke from East Germany
A German worker gets a job in Siberia. Aware of how all mail will be read by censors, he tells his friends: "Let's establish a code: if a letter you will get from me is written in ordinary blue ink, it is true; if it is written in red ink, it is false."
After a month, his friends get the first letter, written in blue ink: "Everything is wonderful here: stores are full, food is abundant, apartments are large and properly heated, movie theaters show films from the West, there are many beautiful girls ready for an affair—the only thing unavailable is *red ink*."
Tanslated East German Jokes
A man walks to the dock where he sees a big cargo ship. He shouts: "Where are you heading?"
The captain answers: "We are a trading ship loaded with industrial goods and are headed for St.Petersburg to trade with the sowjet union."
The man: "Oh and with what are you getting back?"
The captain: "If we are lucky we get back with our ship."
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The sowjet Union and the people's republic of China had some border conflict where Moscow threated to use nukes. After the US President said he would use nukes on Chinas side, they agree to negotiate a peace treaty.
China: We want 1000 new Diesel Motors.
Muscow: Done.
China: We also want 100 new trains.
Muscow: Done.
China: And finally 1000 tons of rice.
Muscow: Oh we cant do that, rice can not be produced in east Germany.
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The context is that the sowjet union took a huge part of Germany's production without asking or paying.