Easily Jokes
126 easily jokes and hilarious easily puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about easily that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Easily Short Jokes
Short easily jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The easily humour may include short easy jokes also.
- My grandfather killed 30 german planes during World War 2 He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
- Greta Thunberg has just been confirmed as a huge polluter. Her Tweet to Tater-Tot was easily the biggest burn in history.
- Donald Trump is like a marshmallow... He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.
- According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worse student She's ever had.. Oops... sorry, wrong thread.
- What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May? A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.
- I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself, Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.
- Easily lose weight by cutting these two things out of your diet: Breakfast and dinner.
My dad told me this joke please laugh. - I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition. It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time.
- Did you hear about the new paint called "blonde" paint? It's not very bright but it spreads easily.
- How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it? Anyway you want. concrete doesn't break easily.
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Easily One Liners
Which easily one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with easily? I can suggest the ones about quick easy and quickly.
- I like my women like I like COVID 19, breathtaking, and easily spread
- How should one approach an easily startled red head? gingerly
- Why don't cows get ill very easily? Because they have a natural imoonity.
- My great grandfather sunk 5 U-boats in ww2 Easily the worst captain the kriegsmarine had
- How do you complete a family tree easily? Post on social media that you won the lottery.
- Why are skeletons bad at high-stress jobs? Because they're easily rattled!
- I like my girls how I like my Covid. 19 and easily spread.
- I bought some blonde paint. It isn't very bright but it spreads easily.
- Why does aluminum make a great bad guy? Because it is easily foiled.
- I like my coffee like I like my women Not bitter and goes down easily.
- Why do iPhone have a great sense of humor? Because they crack up easily.
- If you have a crush on Neymar, just ask him out. He'll fall for you easily.
- My iq is easily 3 digits long Like around 0.01 at least.
- snoring comes easily to me. In fact, I can do it in my sleep.
- I could easily lose weight but momma raised no loser.
Silly Easily Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about easily you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quick and easy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make easily pranks.
What do locking your keys in the car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?
Both are easily fixed with a coat hanger.
What's the difference between girls of our generation and peanut butter?
One spreads easily and the other is peanut butter
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What thought can you easily share with someone else without using words?
That you **had** to f**....
A mugger was able to lure a woman very easily behind the building where he always sits...
She was right up his alley.
A limerick about limericks
There was a young poet from Japan
Whose limericks did not easily scan
When asked why this was,
He said, "It's because
IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...
The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"
The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"
The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The cat starts furiously l**... it off, meowing loudly. "See - he does it voluntarily and with songs!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At a small London pub,
3 girls are chatting. An Englishman hears them and notices their distinctive accent that he so easily recognizes. He approaches then smoothly and asks: "are you girls from Scotland?"
In a condescending tone, one of them turns around and says: "It's Wales, idiot!"
"Oh I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"
They say nothing in life that's worth having comes easily.
Guess I'm really lucky to have my wife.
More of a riddle, actually.
I happen once a year, but twice a week.
You can easily find me in a store, but you won't see me in a mall.
What am I?
Malaysian food is the best!
Because it goes down easily
A man goes to a store to buy groceries.
When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?
This is a joke I came up with.
Q: How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: There's no need to change it when you can easily convince everyone that it still works, but they've gone blind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black man and a white man are arguing about whether God is black or white
They decided to climb to the top of the tallest mountain and call out to God with the hopes of getting a response.
"God! Are you white or black?"
"I am who I am!" comes a booming response.
"See," says the white guy. "He is white!"
"Why would you assume that?!" asks the black guy. "He could just as easily be black!"
"If he was black, he would say, 'I is who I is."
My boss recently fired me...
So, my boss recently fired me and he sent me an email that read "I did not want to fire you, but I had to. You were slacking on every project I assigned to you and you get too easily distracted. Please stop by and pick up your things, OK? I expect to see that your office is empty by Saturday."
I then realized how much OK resembled a stick-man.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many JokeExplainBots does it take to change a lightbulb?
**Lightbulbs** are easily threaded by one person, **usually** with one hand. Doot.
Why did the young Mexican solve the problem so easily?
It was a no buena
My girlfriend is Mexican so I love Mexican jokes. Let me know if you have one!
Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries in Teen Girls...
This is easily explained by the fact that they spend less time on their knees, and more time on their backs.
new kitten
So I decided to teach my kitten to write. You might think it was pretty hard but he took to it easily. Before long he could do anything I could do.. Turns out he was a copy cat :)
Why do you have to separate red shirts when you put them into the laundry?
Because red shirts die easily.
If you're easily offended, the FDA just approved a new drug.
Ask your doctor if Growacet is right for you.
The Japanese designed a detective-robot able to catch thieves easily
They tried it out in three countries.
In Japan, the robots caught 100 thieves in five minutes.
In the US, the robots caught 200 thieves in five minutes.
In Albania, five minutes were enough for the robots to be stolen.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?
The Mercedes can easily reach 40.
Interviewer: What's your strength?
Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife thinks our s**... life is boring and I get distracted easily..........
Well I Better get back to it....
Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau run a 100-meter race...
Trudeau easily overtakes Trump and wins.
Minutes later, the White House tweets a press note:
"President Trump won prestigious silver in US-Canada race. The Canadian showed up second-to-last."
If I was an element on the Periodic Table...
...I'd be a noble gas. I don't form bonds easily, if at all.
When I heard about 9-11...
Considering I was living in New York at the time, as it was happening it occurred to me how easily that it could have been me involved
But then I realised I had no idea how to fly a plane
How did Germany so easily defeat Poland during WWII?
When the Polish threw grenades at the Germans, the Germans pulled the pins and threw them back.
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.
Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." Mom shushes him and gives him $10.
"Just don't tell Dad" she says.
*Hey, it's working* thinks Little Johnny.
An hour later, Dad comes home from work. Johnny goes up to him and says: "Dad, I know everything."
Dad gives Johnny $100. "Don't tell Mom" he says.
Just then, the mailman knocks on the door. Johnny opens it and says. "I know everything, Mister."
The mailman drops all his mail, his eyes tear up and he says:
"Well then Johnny, come give Daddy a hug."
Chiropractors should become interrogators
Because their patients crack easily under pressure.
My grandfather was a World War 2 Vet
In a single day during the Battle of Britain he was responsible for the destruction of 8 German aircraft killing 32 German airmen.
Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe had ever had.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an easily scared monkey?
Chimp p**...
I told my wife to make sure the coconut oil is mixed nicely with the kale
so I can easily scrape it into the garbage.
Today's Horoscope:
"You are easily influenced by what you read and have the ability to make vague sentences somehow applicable to your own existence."
I could easily work for EA...
I've got everything required, primarily I'm great at disappointing people.
Nothing in life ever comes easily...
Even Santa comes with a clause.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Barbies create unrealistic expectations of women
No woman's head reattaches THAT easily in my experience
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
I can easily turn on a washing machine.
Pinocchio could easily pass a polygraph.
Too bad his lies are too on the nose.
I think that we should officially change our currency to balloons.
You could much more easily control inflation.
Julie Andrews withdraws her endorsement
Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Revlon Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."
The smell of rain
Every loves the smell of rain. So fresh, so clean. But in actuality you can't actually smell rain. What you smell is the world around you.
Way back in the day humans used to have to actually hunt their food. So if you were chasing down a deer and it started to rain you could easily lose the scent. So humans evolved to smell better in the rain.
And that is why your farts smell worse in the shower.
I could easily fly a jetpack without any training.
No way that could backfire.
World War 1 could've been easily be prevented..
I mean, singing Take me out probably wasn't Franz Ferdinand's brightest idea.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fastest thing in the universe
Two men are arguing over what is the fastest thing in the universe.
One man says, Of course it has to be the speed of light!
The other says, Nonsense, it's human thought!
A third man interrupts, You're both wrong, its diarrhea.
Visibly confused, the two men are quick to asking Why??
The third man easily explains, Because you won't be able to think about it or turn on the light when it hits you.
You can easily make money by collecting helium and selling it for a dollar per pound.
No weight, that doesn't make any cents...
Smart blonde joke
Whoah, I know. Here it is: so a blonde walks into a bank and asked to borrow a $500 loan. The bank needs some colleratal so she gives the bank her Rolls Royce. After a couple of months she comes back and promptly pays the loan back. The bank clerk asked why she borrowed the money if she could pay it back easily.
She said, "cheapest parking in San Francisco."
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU HAVE ADD:
1) Easily distracted
2) Frequently lose your train of thought 3) Unfinished projects
A woman had a terrible skin disease
That covered her legs. She went to a dermatologist and he said
"What you have is very rare but easily cured. Take a bath in milk for 3 nights and it will go away."
The woman went home and called the local grocery store and said
"I would like to buy 40 gallons of milk to bathe in."
The man on the phone exclaimed "40 gallons pasturized!?"
She said "heavens no... Just past my waist."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three buttholes walk into a bar
They sit on bar-stools while their ladies enjoy a beer.
The first one says I'm so loose that I can hold in a fist easily
The second one giggles and says I'm so loose I can hold in two fists, no problem
The third one laughs.... and the bar-stool disappears
The Ukelele is easily one of the easiest instruments to pick up.
They're very light!
I think it's inappropriate for men to make fun of the gender wage gap; to ignore and minimize it, or to make cheap jokes about it.
Also, you could easily find some women to make those same jokes way cheaper.
Insecure people are like chocolate chip cookies
After they get baked, they'll crumble easily.
Two engineers are handling a prototype for a new cell phone that they worked on
First engineer: "There's no bezel and it's all made of glass, this thing is going to break so easily!"
Second engineer: "Are you saying that we should redesign this from scratch?!"
First engineer: "Well I think a good case could be made.."
Jesus saw a crying old man while walking in a desert.
He came closer and asked what problem is.
Old man: I'm looking for my son, but I'm gonna lose my hope.
Jesus pitied the man and said, let's look for your son together.
After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily.
Yes, said the old man. He had nails driven on his hands and feet.
Jesus started and hugged the man, saying FATHER!
The old man screamed happily, PINOCCHIO!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Kylie Jenner and an egg?
One is just a fragile shell, containing contents so shallow, they hardly give any sustenance to those who want it. And if dropped, or tossed away, can be easily replaced by bunch of others, exactly like them.
And the other is an egg.
The mlb is renaming the disabled list to the injured list .
I'm surprised by how easily it was for the Cleveland Indians to embrace using politically correct terminology.
Why did the blind woman die from an easily curable disease?
She never went to see a doctor.
Don't Swear At Other Drivers!
Eddie was driving down the road and a met a car coming the other way. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig'. The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. Then his car hit the pig.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people.
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering "Turkish got 3 problems."
Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say "Hey, yopu know what you're wearing is insulting?"
The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily offended."
The Turkish respond: "Okay, maybe we should settle this outside."
The Russian: "That's your second problem: You always want to solve your problems with violence."
The Turkish bring him outside and pull their knives.
The Russian: "And here's your third problem. You always bring knives to gun fights."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How can you tell an unidentified plant in your garden is a w**...?
Try to pull it out. If it comes out easily, it's not a w**....
I told my roommate he should date girls that sunburn easily...
He might find them more a peeling
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is a waist called a waist?
Another pair of b**... could have easily fit there
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man committed a m**..., and he made the mistake of dragging the body across a freshly-paved sidewalk.
He was easily convicted. There was concrete evidence
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian dude enters a bar wearing a tshirt saying, "Turks got 3 problems."
Obvious repost
As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.
Turks: you come in our country and have the b**... to insult us.
Russian : that's your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily.
Turks: Let's get him outside.
Russian: that's your second problem. you wanna solve everything with violence.
*They gets outside of the bar and Turks starts taking their knives out*
Russian: that's your third problem. you bring knives to a gunfight.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 men in a nursing home are sitting and reminiscing.
First man says, I wish I could just go pee as easily when I was younger. It's getting harder and harder to do so as the years pass.
The second guy says, I can pee just fine but I would give anything to be able to p**... with no trouble. It's getting more difficult even with fruits and veggies.
Last guy says, Oh, I have no problem with that. Every morning at 8:00 I just go like the Nile. Then at 8:30 I c**... till everything's out. Now if only I could wake up before 9:00.
