The Best 65 Easily Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Easily jokes. There are some easily comfortably jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these easily glare puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Easily Jokes and Puns
It's normal for married couples to fight.
The trick is for you and your spouse to find a couple you can easily beat up.
What do locking your keys in the car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?
Both are easily fixed with a coat hanger.
What's the difference between girls of our generation and peanut butter?
One spreads easily and the other is peanut butter
What thought can you easily share with someone else without using words?
That you **had** to fart.
A limerick about limericks
There was a young poet from Japan
Whose limericks did not easily scan
When asked why this was,
He said, "It's because
IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."
A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...
The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"
The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"
The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The cat starts furiously licking it off, meowing loudly. "See - he does it voluntarily and with songs!"
At a small London pub,
3 girls are chatting. An Englishman hears them and notices their distinctive accent that he so easily recognizes. He approaches then smoothly and asks: "are you girls from Scotland?"
In a condescending tone, one of them turns around and says: "It's Wales, idiot!"
"Oh I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"
I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition.
It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time.
More of a riddle, actually.
I happen once a year, but twice a week.
You can easily find me in a store, but you won't see me in a mall.
What am I?
I bought some blonde paint.
It isn't very bright but it spreads easily.
There once was an old mystic
He was too poor to afford shoes, so he often had sores on his feet, and since he was old, he could easily break his bones if he was not careful. He also had a very bad diet, so his breath smelt terrible.
I guess you could say he was a....
**Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed with Halitosis**
You can explore easily simply reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean easily conveniently dad jokes. There are also easily puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man goes to a store to buy groceries.
When he gets to the Butchery, he asks for three steaks.
The butcher asks if he'd like to play a game, after which the man replies that he would.
The butcher climbs a ladder up to the ceiling, easily 9 or 10 feet, and hangs them on hooks up there.
When he climbs down, the butcher says "If you can jump up and get all of your steaks in 3 tries, all of your groceries are free."
The man asks, "What's the catch?"
The butcher replies, "If you fail to get the steaks in three tries, you have to pay for your groceries and those of the man behind you in line."
After some consideration, the man replies "No."
The butcher asks, "Why not?"
The man simply replies "The stakes are too high."
A black man and a white man are arguing about whether God is black or white
They decided to climb to the top of the tallest mountain and call out to God with the hopes of getting a response.
"God! Are you white or black?"
"I am who I am!" comes a booming response.
"See," says the white guy. "He is white!"
"Why would you assume that?!" asks the black guy. "He could just as easily be black!"
"If he was black, he would say, 'I is who I is."
A guy goes to the doctor with a pain in his rear end
The doctor has a look and says, "This is could be serious, you seem to have a lettuce leaf stuck in there. I can remove it easily enough, but it may just be the tip of the iceberg."
"I bet you 20 bucks I can bite my eye."
An old man is sitting quietly at a bar drinking whisky. After an hour of steady drinking, he leans over and says to the young man next to him, "I bet you 20 bucks I can bite my eye."
Obviously this is impossible, and seeing an opportunity to take an easy 20 off a drunk, the young man says, "Okay. You're on."
The old man, whips his artificial eye out and bites it.
The young man sighs at being so easily fooled and hands over $20.
The old man finishes another drink and then leans over again and say, "I bet you 100 bucks I can bite the other eye."
Now the young man knows the man can see him and doesn't have two artificial eyes. So again he says. "You're on."
The old man then whips off his dentures and bites the other eye.
My boss recently fired me...
So, my boss recently fired me and he sent me an email that read "I did not want to fire you, but I had to. You were slacking on every project I assigned to you and you get too easily distracted. Please stop by and pick up your things, OK? I expect to see that your office is empty by Saturday."
I then realized how much OK resembled a stick-man.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself,
Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.
What do you call a lizard who can't easily have sex?
A reptile dysfunction
How many JokeExplainBots does it take to change a lightbulb?
**Lightbulbs** are easily threaded by one person, **usually** with one hand. Doot.
Why did the young Mexican solve the problem so easily?
It was a no buena
My girlfriend is Mexican so I love Mexican jokes. Let me know if you have one!
How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?
Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.
Why do you have to separate red shirts when you put them into the laundry?
Because red shirts die easily.
Why aren't Jews easily distracted?
because they've been to concentration camp.
The Japanese designed a detective-robot able to catch thieves easily
They tried it out in three countries.
In Japan, the robots caught 100 thieves in five minutes.
In the US, the robots caught 200 thieves in five minutes.
In Albania, five minutes were enough for the robots to be stolen.
Donald Trump is like a marshmallow...
He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.
Interviewer: What's your strength?
Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
My wife thinks our sex life is boring and I get distracted easily..........
Well I Better get back to it....
I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday.
Then, I easily had the biggest vowel movement ever.
Why don't cows get ill very easily?
Because they have a natural imoonity.
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.
Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." Mom shushes him and gives him $10.
"Just don't tell Dad" she says.
*Hey, it's working* thinks Little Johnny.
An hour later, Dad comes home from work. Johnny goes up to him and says: "Dad, I know everything."
Dad gives Johnny $100. "Don't tell Mom" he says.
Just then, the mailman knocks on the door. Johnny opens it and says. "I know everything, Mister."
The mailman drops all his mail, his eyes tear up and he says:
"Well then Johnny, come give Daddy a hug."
My grandfather was a World War 2 Vet
In a single day during the Battle of Britain he was responsible for the destruction of 8 German aircraft killing 32 German airmen.
Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe had ever had.
If only there was an easily recognizable way to identify an idiot
-Sent from my iPhone
I told my wife to make sure the coconut oil is mixed nicely with the kale
so I can easily scrape it into the garbage.
Today's Horoscope:
"You are easily influenced by what you read and have the ability to make vague sentences somehow applicable to your own existence."
Barbies create unrealistic expectations of women
No woman's head reattaches THAT easily in my experience
How should one approach an easily startled red head?
gingerly
Did you hear about the new paint called "blonde" paint?
It's not very bright but it spreads easily.
Julie Andrews withdraws her endorsement
Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Revlon Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."
What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May?
A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.
My grandfather killed 30 german planes during World War 2
He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
Jesus saw a crying old man while walking in a desert.
He came closer and asked what problem is.
Old man: I'm looking for my son, but I'm gonna lose my hope.
Jesus pitied the man and said, let's look for your son together.
After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily.
Yes, said the old man. He had nails driven on his hands and feet.
Jesus started and hugged the man, saying FATHER!
The old man screamed happily, PINOCCHIO!
What's the difference between Kylie Jenner and an egg?
One is just a fragile shell, containing contents so shallow, they hardly give any sustenance to those who want it. And if dropped, or tossed away, can be easily replaced by bunch of others, exactly like them.
And the other is an egg.
A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people.
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering "Turkish got 3 problems."
Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say "Hey, yopu know what you're wearing is insulting?"
The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily offended."
The Turkish respond: "Okay, maybe we should settle this outside."
The Russian: "That's your second problem: You always want to solve your problems with violence."
The Turkish bring him outside and pull their knives.
The Russian: "And here's your third problem. You always bring knives to gun fights."
I like my women like I like COVID
19, breathtaking, and easily spread
I like my women how I like my Covid...
...19 and easily spread.
Easily lose weight by cutting these two things out of your diet:
Breakfast and dinner.
My dad told me this joke please laugh.
A man committed a murder, and he made the mistake of dragging the body across a freshly-paved sidewalk.
He was easily convicted. There was concrete evidence
A Russian dude enters a bar wearing a tshirt saying, "Turks got 3 problems."
Obvious repost
As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.
Turks: you come in our country and have the balls to insult us.
Russian : that's your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily.
Turks: Let's get him outside.
Russian: that's your second problem. you wanna solve everything with violence.
*They gets outside of the bar and Turks starts taking their knives out*
Russian: that's your third problem. you bring knives to a gunfight.
3 men in a nursing home are sitting and reminiscing.
First man says, I wish I could just go pee as easily when I was younger. It's getting harder and harder to do so as the years pass.
The second guy says, I can pee just fine but I would give anything to be able to poop with no trouble. It's getting more difficult even with fruits and veggies.
Last guy says, Oh, I have no problem with that. Every morning at 8:00 I just go like the Nile. Then at 8:30 I crap till everything's out. Now if only I could wake up before 9:00.
My grandfather destroyed over 30 German planes in WW2...
He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worse student She's ever had..
Oops... sorry, wrong thread.
My great grandfather sunk 5 U-boats in ww2
Easily the worst captain the kriegsmarine had
Why are skeletons bad at high-stress jobs?
Because they're easily rattled!
I like my girls like my covid
19 and easily spread
Tattoos are like children...
You think they are permanent, but they can easily be removed with a laser.
Similarity between a beer and a penalty?
The English can easily swallow 3 of them in a few minutes.
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
He was okay. It was a draft so he dodged it easily
So, I delivered a baby today...
Easily my weirdest day at FedEx.
I'm joking, of course.
I work for UPS.
Recruit at the KGB
The KGB had found their newest recruit, but before he could join, he had to go through three tests. First, he had to down an entire bottle of vodka in one sitting, then shake hands with a bear, then seduce and sleep with a lady. The recruit easily downs the vodka in a matter of seconds, then is put in a cage with a bear. Intense screaming, bear growling, and shouting can be heard for the duration of 20 minutes, but the cage goes quiet and recruit finally emerges from the cage, bruised up and covered in claw marks. He then asks, "so where's this lady I'm supposed to shake hands with?"
How do you complete a family tree easily?
Post on social media that you won the lottery.
It's easier to conduct undercover crime investigations on Reddit or Twitter.
You don't get followed easily.
BREAKING NEWS ! Mary Poppins will no longer be endorsing 'Rimmel Vibrant Shades' lipstick - she claims it breaks too easily and it makes her breath smell .
She gave the following statement:
The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis ..
I like my coffee like I like my women
Not bitter and goes down easily.
A man walks into an interview
Interviewer: what are your strengths?
Man: I fall in love easily
Interviewer: okay… what are your weaknesses?
Man: That beautiful blue of your eyes
A serial killer goes on a killing spree
He then skins all the faces off his victim and puts them in giant scrapbook.
The scrapbook is then tied to a post which he erects on his front lawn. It is quite a gruesome sight to behold.
Naturally the police find him pretty easily.
When he gets to court though his case is thrown out by the judge.
When asked why he let a serial killer go, the judge replies: "If we arrested everyone for bad facebook posts, half the country would be in jail!".
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the easily can jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working easily convenient piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.