Ease Jokes
41 ease jokes and hilarious ease puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ease that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ease Short Jokes
Short ease jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ease humour may include short comfort jokes also.
- It's hard to find a good partner in most of the US But in Alabama, you can find a partner with relative ease
- My Mom said this to me. Me:*can't open bag of chips*I can't open it!Must be a production error.
Mom:*Opens it with ease*You're a production error.. - I saw your post about the prostate exam and ease you this. When you're getting your prostate exam, make sure the doctor only has ONE hand on your hip...
- "Can you identify the men from the line of suspects?" I was asked. I said, "Yes, with ease. They're all men."
- My friend stole the book I was reading and threw it across the table where it slid with ease It was non-friction.
^^^^I'm ^^^^sorry. - What's the difference between a poorly designed user interface and Georges Perec's novel A Void? One is known for a lack of ease of use and the other for a lack of use of e's!
- "Doctor, doctor, I tripped on my shoe and strained a muscle, can I have a steroid to help ease the swelling?" "Caught a sole?"
- I once took an edible before heading off to my first day of classes to ease my nerves. Sure made the start of 4th grade more enjoyable.
- Why don't you remove those barriers to imports? It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.
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Ease One Liners
Which ease one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ease? I can suggest the ones about slack and easy.
- Why does Father Christmas come down the chimney? It helps him slide down with ease,
- Why are all painters talented? It comes to them easel-y.
- What do mathematicians drink? Anything to ease the pain.
- What do you call a relaxed army of belugas? Some men at ease.
- So how was at nudist camp, where you at ease? Mhe.. the first day it was very hard
- How many cats does it take to ease the pain of a broken heart? *uncontrollable sobbing*
- How does a painter support their art in this economy? Easel-y
- the universe is expanding.... that should help ease the traffic
- What laxative did the constipated man ask for? p**...-ease
- What do you call a n**... cream from South Asia? Nepalese n**...-ease
- Jesus fed 5000 men.... But h**... eased the pain of 7 million.
Fun-Filled Ease Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about ease you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smooth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ease pranks.
An off duty soldier took a train.
When the train reach its first stop, a general walk in, and the soldier stood up, the general said. 'At ease soldier, sit down.'
The train reached its second stop, again the soldier stood up, the general once again said. 'At ease soldier, sit down.
When the train reach its third stop, again the soldier stood up, the general said.' You don't have to salute every time we reach a stop.' The soldier reply.
' I want to get off, I missed my stop 2 stations ago.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I've got some buddies...
They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical m**... to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.
"Bill to ban shark fin harvesting", and "Bill to increase minimum wage" and "Bill to help ease the burden of Vets"...with all these good things happening, it makes me wonder...
...why did he wait so long?
Getting Married!
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form.....
The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease...
When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?".....
There was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down 'Yes.'"
An off-duty soldier is riding the train.
When the train reaches its first stop a general walks in and the soldier stood up.
"At ease soldier, sit down.", said the general.
The train reached its second stop and again the soldier stood up.
The general once again said, "At ease soldier, sit down."
The train reached its third stop and again the soldier stood up.
The general said, "You don't have to salute every time we reach a stop."
•
The soldier said, "I'm trying to get off, I missed my stop 2 stations ago."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To ease the pain of a mother Crying at her Husbands f**... I said "At least he died doing what he Loves"
Too bad he was a Drug Addict
More than half of $2.6bn (£1.9bn) in donations made at a special one-day conference to ease the humanitarian crisis in Yemen were pledged by countries that are either fighting in the civil war or selling arms to those undertaking the fighting.
When life gives you Yemen, you give Yemen aid.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
According to a recent medical study, m**... helps to ease congestion.
The traffic cops on my afternoon commute did not agree, however.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse walks into a bar
And the bartender asked "why the long face?"
The horse said, well, it has been a really bad day. Around 10 years ago, I married a pony, the absolute love of my life. She just passed away at the hospital from t**... cancer. I'm on my way back home and I just came in for a few drinks to ease the pain.
The bartender felt horrible about the s**... joke he said earlier and apologized profusely.
The horse just shook his head and said don't worry about it. In all honesty, we should have caught the cancer much earlier. She was always a little horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 people are fighting
An American,British, And Chinese are fighting over who is the best swordsman. They say whoever can slice that fly on half wins.
The American slices in half with ease.
The British does 2 slices, and it's in 4 pieces.
The Chinese does one swipe. The American and the British are like, what is that? It's still flying.
The Chinese responds, it's s**... life is over.
My mom taught me that it is impossible to hum and wink at the same time...
She also taught me that I was gullible, kind of like the people who are reading this and just tried to hum and wink with ease. Thank mom, I love you!
I was feeling very rundown and tired when suddenly a muscular little person grabbed both of my legs and lifted me into the air with ease. I instantly felt refreshed!
I guess I just needed a little pick-me-up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Rorschach Test
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office for his first appointment. After the initial interview, the shrink decides to ease the man into the process with a simple inkblot test. After a few minutes, however, the shrink calls a halt.
"I think its fairly clear at this point that we're dealing with an Oedipus Complex." says the shrink.
"*I'VE* got an Oedipus Complex?!?" the man bursts out, "*You're* the one with all these pictures of my parents having s**...!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fighting Against Real Truths
I thought I knew what you really were
I thought you could ease my pain
Put an end to all this aching
And make me laugh again
I've known your kind before
I thought you weren't the same
Just trying to get in my pants
And fill my head with shame
I've held onto you for too long
So now I'll let you free
Nobody to witness
It's only you and me
Sure doesn't come out easy
But it's coming from the heart
Luckily no one can see
That it wasn't just a f**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Philandering Duck
This swinging philandering duck suddenly became conscious of the danger of acquiring AIDS through s**... promiscuity.
To put himself at ease he went to his local druggist and asked for a c**.... "How much will that be?" asked the duck. "1 dollar and 19 cents" replied the druggist. "Would you like me to put this on your bill"? "What kind of a duck to you think I am"? replied the duck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My doctor was adamant that I should s**... a small rock to help ease my back pain.
It was a hard pill to s**....
A Librarian just got a new job.
On his first day someone asks him where a certain book is. He knows where it should be but can't find it there, in fact none of the books seem to be organized correctly. He goes to the head librarian who finds the book with ease.
He asks the head librarian why all the books are so disorganized. "Well we just fill up empty shelves with new books we get, people seem to like it, I even get compliments sometimes." The librarian accuses him of just not wanting to do work. "It's true! I'm not sure why but people seem to like those who sort by new"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two patients are trying to escape a mental hospital
They devise a plan to get up to the rooftop and jump from one building to another. When they get there, the first patient jumps across to the next building with ease, but his friend was scared that he wouldn't make it if he jumped. The first patient thinks for a while then comes up with an plan.
P1: "I know! I'll just shine my flashlight to you and you can use the beam to walk towards me."
The second patient thinks for a moment and replies :
"What am I, s**...? You'll just turn the light of when I get halfway across."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A salesman knocks on a door
A salesman knocks on a door, as soon as the door opens he throws a mound of dirt on the floor of the house. The house owner begins to confront the salesman in a state of rage but before he can say anything the salesman pulls out a vacuum and s**... up the dirt with ease. The salesman says "I'm here to sell you this vacuum!" The house owner, amazed at the display, immediately buys the vacuum. Another salesman sees this exchange and goes up to the same house later that day. This salesman knocks on the door, as soon as the house owner opens the door the salesman shoots him dead. He then proclaims "I'm here to sell you life insurance!"
(be easy I just thought of this joke myself)
