Earth Hour Jokes
38 earth hour jokes and hilarious earth hour puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about earth hour that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Earth Hour Short Jokes
Short earth hour jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The earth hour humour may include short earth day jokes also.
- Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate! The Voyager probe, flying away from earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.
- Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day. I'm sorry.
- In ancient times, people watched the earth spin for 24 hours. They got bored though, so they called it a day
- The winner of tonight's election is... the Voyager space probe which is currently traveling at 62,137 km per hour away from the Earth into interstellar space.
- Mercurian day So - apparently one day on mercury is an agonisingly long 1408 earth hours long...
In other words - one Earth Monday. - Scientists watched the earth revolve for 24 hours They got bored and call it a day!!!
Not mine. Just passing on. - Scientists got bored of watching the Earth rotate every 24 hours... ...they decided to call it a day and go home.
- People got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours ..so they just called it a day
- Ancient astronomers were studying the movement of the moon around the Earth After doing it for 24 hours they got tired of it and decided to call it a day.
- Scientists got bored after watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours... They called it a day.
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Earth Hour One Liners
Which earth hour one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with earth hour? I can suggest the ones about hour and earth rotation.
- Scientists watched the earth rotate for 24 hours and got tired, So they called it a day
- One day on venus lasts 5,832 hours The same as one Monday on Earth
- I got bored watching the Earth turn So after 24 hours, I called it a day.
- One day on Mercury lasts aproximately 1408 hours The same as one Monday on earth
- a day on saturn lasts 10 hours just like saturday and sunday on earth.
Charming Humor Earth Hour Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about earth hour you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean daylight saving time jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make earth hour pranks.
God is talking to one of his angels and says
Do you know what I have just done? I have just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth. Isn't that good?
The angel says, Yes, but what will you do now?
God says, I think I'll call it a day.
On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...
*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.
The woman ignores him.
*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*
The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the first question.
*"What is the distance between Earth and the Moon?"*
The woman hands him $5. Now it's her turn.
*"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"*
The lawyer is astonished. He frantically surfs the Internet, searches his pocket encyclopedia and asks his scientist friends. He finds nothing. Hours later, when finally giving up looking for the answer, he wakes the woman, hands her $50 and asks:
*"So, what is the answer?"*
Without saying a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.
**
The god Thor is bored one day and decided to try out having s**... with a mortal woman...
He heads down to earth and finds a beautiful young woman. Pouring on the charm, he convinces her to go to bed with him. He goes back to her place and enjoys her in every possible way, absolutely plowing her with all his god-like strength and endurance. 7 hours later, he rolls off. She's laying there, gasping and panting, shaking, and exhausted from the most incredible s**... she's ever had in her life. She can't even speak. All she can do is s**... his chest with a trembling hand. He understands her point, though. He was amazing.
"I've got a confession to make," he says. "I'm actually Thor."
"You're thor!? I'm tho thor, I won't be able to thit down for a week!
GUYS. If you missed the eclipse today, there's going to be a secondary one later.
It's at 8:01 PM. The earth will block out the sun and it will go completely dark during a period of about 10 1/2 hours.
Thor was bored with life on Asgard and one day decided travel to earth to entertain himself.
Whilst here he happened upon a beautiful maiden and the pair hooked up that evening and made love all night, with Thor slipping out in the early hours.
Back in Asgard Thor felt bad for the fair lady about slipping away never too be seen again and thought he at least owed it to her to explain things - so he made his way back to earth to find her.
He bumps into her again. "Hi' he states 'I think I should explain - I'm Thor"
"*I'm Thor"?!* The lady retorted, "I can hardly thit down!"
One Billion Funny Joke
According to a recent government publication ...
A billion seconds ago Harry Truman was president.
A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.
A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.
A billion dollars ago was late yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.
A lawyer approached the Pearly Gates of Heaven
I'm only 45 years old! Why is it already my time to depart? Send me back to Earth right now or I'll sue you! he angrily snapped to the gatekeeper.
Based to the records of your billable hours, Mr. Lawyer, you're 98 years old. , replied the gatekeeper.
Octopus dinner
I recently went to a sea food restaurant and I had a look at the menu , I said to the Waiter
excuse me can I have the octopus please
No problem sir he replied
But there is an issue he said
And what's that then ??
He said
you can have it but it takes 4 hours to cook
4 hours ??? Why on earth does it take that long ??
Simples ,Because we cook them when they are still alive , but they keep turning the gas off
Last night there was a total eclipse of the sun...
It was quite an eclipse. The earth's shadow blocked out the sun completely. It got very dark. The temperature dropped. It was eerie. But, after a few hours, I got tired and went inside to sleep.
I hear that there will be another one tonight and every evening next week.
Earth hour!
Turned my lights off for Earth Hour and I've never had so many other cars honking at me.
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
A monk dies and arrives at the pearly gates...
Allowed to enter, he notices a book prominently displayed behind Saint Peter. The monk asked what the book was. Saint Peter replied, "That's the bible as it was *supposed* to be written. The bible on Earth is close, but there are a few minor differences between the two."
"I was a biblical scribe in life; may I read the book," the monk asked humbly.
"Be my guest," replied St. Peter. The monk carefully started reading the tome and was soon absorbed in his task.
A few hours later the monk was crying. "What's wrong," asked the Saint.
"It says cele*brate*! Cele-*BRATE*!"
Thor came down to Earth from Asgard
Thor goes to a singles bar to have a drink, and sees a beautiful girl he'd like to make love to. He goes over to buy her a drink, and she has a slight speech impediment, but Thor doesn't care because she is so beautiful and s**....
They leave the bar, and go to her apartment, and proceed to have 8 hours of fantastic s**..., every which way possible.
In the morning, he feels just a bit guilty, and decides to confess who he is to the woman.
"I have to tell you something, I'm really Thor"
She turns to him and says "YOU'RE THOR? I AM SO THOR I CAN'T EVEN PEE!"
A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane
A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks the blonde if she wants to play a game, "All you have to do is ask a question and if i get it wrong or don't know it i give you five dollars, then i ask you a question and if you get it wrong you pay me five dollars."
"No," she says, "I just want to sleep."
He keeps asking and she finally gives in when he says if he gets it wrong he will pay her five hundred dollars, but she still only has to pay five dollars.
"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" he asks.
She gives him 5 dollars. "What goes up the hill with four legs and comes down with five?" she asks.
He pulls out his laptop and searches it, but finds nothing. Then he emails his friends. After an hour, he still hasn't got an answer, he hands her 500 dollars. Then he asks her, "So what is the answer?"
She hands him 5 dollars.
Snails
A husband and wife have been at odds with each other over the husband's endless drinking and stopping out late. To get their marriage back on track, the wife decides to make a romantic french dinner with Snails to start so she sends her husband out saying 'right, please can you buy me these snails from town, be back home soon and, for god's sake, stay out of the pub!'.
The Husband obliges and after buying the snails, decides he's probably be okay just to stop by the pub only for a quick drink. Well, one leads to another, and another and another and before long it's well past dinner time. Looking at his watch he quickly realises he should have been back hours ago, panicking he dashes home and throws all the snails across the garden path. His wife greets him at the door looking furious saying 'Where on earth have you been!?' to which the husband responds 'Come on Lads! We're almost there!'.
Blonde vs. Lawyer
A blonde sits next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him. After several minutes of arguing with her, he says you give me $5 for every question you cant answer and i'll give you $50 for every question i cant answer. The lawyer figured he couldnt lose and the blonde accepted.
The lawyer proceeded to ask his first question, "What's the distance between the earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked her question, "What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down with three?"
The lawyer was searching his laptop for hours and calling everyone he knows to find the answer. Finally he gave up and handed the blonde $50.
After the plane landed, he decided to ask her the answer to her question.
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5
Barak Obama was touring the countryside...
... in his chauffeur-driven limo.
Suddenly, a donkey jumps out onto the road, and they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Obama says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check, you were driving.'
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.
'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Obama.
Hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.
'My god, what happened to you?' asks Obama.
The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey,
the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter took me upstairs and made love to me.'
'What on earth did you say to them?' asks Obama.
'I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them,
I'm Barack Obama's chauffeur and I've just killed the j**....
Signs...
The following are all signs that you are a drunk. They include, but are not limited to...
- You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
- Your job interferes with your drinking.
- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
- You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive fifth food group.
- Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!
- You consider that having two hands and only one mouth is a drinking problem.
- You can normally focus better with one eye closed.
- The parking lot seems to have moved since you entered the bar.
- You fall off the floor sometimes.
- Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
- Mosquitoes stumble about after attacking you.
- At weekly AA meetings, you forget your own name.
- Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
- The whole bar greets you when you come in.
- You don't recognise your wife unless you see her through the bottom of your glass.
- That d**... pink elephant followed you home again!
