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Earth Day Jokes

97 earth day jokes and hilarious earth day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about earth day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Earth Day Short Jokes

Short earth day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The earth day humour may include short earth hour jokes also.

  1. Really enjoying my new life aboard the giant space station designed to solve Earth's overpopulation problem . Just a bit weird how the sun gets slightly bigger in my cabin window every day.
  2. Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day. I'm sorry.
  3. In ancient times, people watched the earth spin for 24 hours. They got bored though, so they called it a day
  4. This Earth Day I decided I would become more environmentally concious So I'm starting to recycle jokes
  5. I just invented a way of powering the earth off of toddlers Mine produces about 1000 what are's every day.
  6. Mercurian day So - apparently one day on mercury is an agonisingly long 1408 earth hours long...
    In other words - one Earth Monday.
  7. After Astronomers discovered the Earth rotates about an axis... They got bored and decided to call it a day!
  8. On the first day God created the heavens, the earth and the Conservative Conservative looked around and said "eh, I liked it better yesterday!"
  9. How will Texans be celebrating Earth Day this weekend? They will be planting a Bush.
  10. Scientists watched the earth revolve for 24 hours They got bored and call it a day!!!
    Not mine. Just passing on.

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Earth Day One Liners

Which earth day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with earth day? I can suggest the ones about mother earth and planet earth.

  1. The rotation of earth Really makes my day.
  2. Scientists watched the earth rotate for 24 hours and got tired, So they called it a day
  3. I love the way the Earth rotates... It makes my day.
  4. i love how the Earth rotates on its axis it really makes my day.
  5. I love the way the Earth spins on its axis. it always makes my day.
  6. I love how the Earth rotates, It really makes my day.
  7. What does Earth get on Earth day ? A birthday quake !
  8. I love the way earth rotates. It really made my day.
  9. Earth is the best planet... The mere rotation of it makes my day!
  10. I really, really love Earth's rotation... It made my day
  11. The rotation of the earth It makes my day.
  12. One day on venus lasts 5,832 hours The same as one Monday on Earth
  13. I got bored watching the Earth turn So after 24 hours, I called it a day.
  14. I wanted to throw an earth day party... But I forgot to planet
  15. I love the way the Earth rotates It really does make my day...

Earth Day joke, I love the way the Earth rotates

Hilarious Fun Earth Day Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about earth day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean earth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make earth day pranks.

Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."

Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."

A cowboy is riding across the plain one day,

when he sees an Indian chief laying on the ground with his ear pressed firmly to the earth. Never having seen this before, the cowboy says "Hey chief whatcha doin there." The chief in broken english says "Ugg, buffalo come." The cowboy says "That's amazing chief, how can you tell?" The Chief reply's "Ear sticky."

One day God is walking on Earth and a man approaches him.

Man: "Hey God, isn't 1 million years like a second to you?"
God: "Hm, that's pretty accurate. 1 million years is like a second to me"
Man: "Then 1 million dollars would be like... a penny to you, wouldn't it?"
God: "Yes, a million dollars would be like a penny to me."
Man: "Then, can I have 1 million dollars?"
God: "Sure. Just a sec."

In and Out

(Part joke and part tongue-twister - lots of fun to tell out loud.)
Once upon a time, a mama skunk had twin baby skunks, who she named In and Out.
One day when they were just wee skunks, In and Out went out to play. At lunchtime, Mama Skunk poked her head out and called out, "In and Out, it's time to come in!"
After a few minutes, Out comes in. Mama looks at him and says, "Out, where is In? I just told you both to come in!"
Out says, "In is still out." So Mama tells him "Well Out, you go right back out, find In, and bring him in!" So Out goes out, and within just a minute he comes back in with In.
Mama Skunk is amazed. She says, "Out, how on earth did you find In so quickly?"
Out shrugs and says, "Instinks."

Made my day!

The earth rotation made my day!

Magical Mirror

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth — if you lie, you disappear.
One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. I think I'm the smartest woman on earth. p**...! She disappears.
The redhead goes up to try. I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth. p**...! She disappears.
The blonde goes up. I think– p**...!"

Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today?

We would get paid every day, and all women would bleed to death.

I didn't know it was Earth Day

I'm usually in the dark on it...

I'm Friends with a Really Poor Guy

He's been down on his luck lately, so he told me that he had to become a male p**... to make ends meet. One day, he walked up to me and said that he made a really good amount of money the night before.
Me: How much did you make?
Him: I made $250.05.
Me: Who on earth gave you 5 cents?
Him: Everyone.

Few days ago an US Marine and a Russian General were talking at the beach

The Marine says to the General: "we have the greatest submarines on earth. We can last under water for several weeks."
The Russian interrupts:"no way our latest submarines last for 6 months without seeing any daylight."
The both stop talking as they are surprised by a submarine approaching the beach. A soldier jumps out raising his arm straight in the sky, yelling:"Hail h**... we need Diesel!"

I met a dwarf the other day

He was a pretty down to earth guy.

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight.

The knife lost.
Happy Chuck Norris day to the earth.

The god Thor is bored one day and decided to try out having s**... with a mortal woman...

He heads down to earth and finds a beautiful young woman. Pouring on the charm, he convinces her to go to bed with him. He goes back to her place and enjoys her in every possible way, absolutely plowing her with all his god-like strength and endurance. 7 hours later, he rolls off. She's laying there, gasping and panting, shaking, and exhausted from the most incredible s**... she's ever had in her life. She can't even speak. All she can do is s**... his chest with a trembling hand. He understands her point, though. He was amazing.
"I've got a confession to make," he says. "I'm actually Thor."
"You're thor!? I'm tho thor, I won't be able to thit down for a week!

A priest out for a walk comes across a boy tied to a tree

The priest says, "oh you poor boy, what on earth has happened to you?"
The boy says, "I was just walking home when these 2 men grabbed me, tied me up and did terrible things to me."
The priest loosens his cassock and says, "It's not your lucky day is it?"

Marvin Gaye's Last Day on Earth

Marvin (holding present): Happy Birthday Dad!!!
Dad: Marvin, if this is another tie, I'm gonna kill you.

I love the way the Earth spins

It really makes my day.

One day on Mercury lasts aproximately 1408 hours

The same as one Monday on earth

After spending 90 days in the Persian Gulf, a sailor goes to complain to his master chief.

"Chief, I joined the Navy to see the world." The master chief replies, "Sailor, the Earth is 75 percent water. The navy showed you that, if you want to see the other 25 percent, join the army."

On any given day, s**... i**... takes place 120 million times on earth.

Apparently, I live on the moon.

One Sunday, with one hand motion, God caused the Earth to begin to revolve around the Sun. "What should we call it when it goes all the way around?" asks Adam.

"A year," God replied.
Now, he made another hand motion, and the Earth began to rotate on a tilted axis.
"What should we call it when it rotates all the way around?" Adam asks.
God sighs and takes a seat on the grass below. "Let's call it a day."

People got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours

..so they just called it a day

Today is the day when the moon looks upon earth.

That's why it's blushing.

A man brings his friend home after work for dinner unannounced

When he tells his wife, she starts screaming:
"I've not done my makeup, I've not dressed up nicely, the house is a mess and I haven't had time to wash the dishes! I'm too tired to cook for both of you, and I haven't done the day's laundry yet! Why on Earth would you bring him here?"
"Because he's considering getting married"

I really like how the earth spins

It really makes my day

I always try to live as though it was my last day on earth...

...so I lie in bed, slipping in and out of conciousness.

A woman dies and goes to Heaven

There she is found by St Peter and is escorted to where she'll reside for the rest of her days. As they walk through Heaven,they go through a giant hallway full of clocks. "What are these clocks on the wall",she asks St Peter. "Every man and woman on earth has a personal clock and everytime he or she commits a sin,the clock ticks". "Ohhh...and where's my husband's clock?" she asks."Ahh,we've been using this one in Jesus' office as an air fan"

Humans produce around 1/4th the energy that all the life on earth produces per day. The biomass of the Earth produces around 200 terawatts of energy per day, in sugars.

And apparently so does my diet.

Prof.X died the other day whilst hooked up to his mind machine.

As a consequence, everyone on earth was frozen in time.
It's a terrible condition... Cerebro Pausey

FOBs will understand.

3 new men - an Irish man, an English man and a Samoan - arrive at the army camp. The next day, the colonel, salt of the earth, rough as guts type fellow, decides to go psych the newbies up.
He calls them to line up and approaches the Irish man...
"DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE!?!?"
"SIR YES SIR!! I CAME HERE TO DIE!"
"Good."
He walks over to the English man...
"DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE!?!?"
"SIR YES SIR!! I CAME HERE TO DIE!"
"Good man."
Then he approaches the Samoan...
"DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE!?!?"
"SIR NO SIR!!"
"What??"
"I CAME HERE YESTER-DIE!"

The earth was 1 day old and air pressure began to build.

Not a great story but it's a first draft.

I met Felix Baumgartner the other day...

He's a really down to earth guy

You know what makes my day?

The rotation of the earth

Two Israelis are sitting on the beach in Tel Aviv, reading.

One has got a quality newspaper, the other an antisemitic rag. "Why on earth are you reading that?" one asks. "I used to read a quality paper like you," the other sighs, "but I couldn't handle it any more – the rockets from Gaza and Hezbollah getting stronger every day and the Iranian nuclear programme and the suffering economy and growing antisemitism across Europe…" He points to the antisemitic rag. "Now I read this and I feel much better. Turns out there's actually a Jewish global conspiracy and we control the entire world."

California Condor

A man was in court the other day accused of shooting and killing a California Condor. The judge asked the man, "Why on Earth would you kill one of the magnificent creatures?" The man replied, "Your honor, I have been out of work for quite a while and me and my family were hungry with nothing to eat and I looked up and saw this big bird over head so I shot it down and fed my family with it." The judge said, "That is a tough story. I am sorry for your situation and I will certainly take it into consideration when I sentence you, but by the way, I am a little curious as to what it tastes like." The man replied, "It's really not bad. Kind of a mix between a spotted owl and a baby seal."

Scientists got bored of watching the Earth rotate every 24 hours...

...they decided to call it a day and go home.

God is talking to one of his angels and says

Do you know what I have just done? I have just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth. Isn't that good?
The angel says, Yes, but what will you do now?
God says, I think I'll call it a day.

so the astronaut Chirstina Kush returned to earth...

After being enclousured 328 days in space now she will be free to... be enclousured in his house. thanks covid 19.

A little girl asks her mum

A little girl asks her mum "mummy, how was I born" Her mother smiled and replied "once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful tiny seed. Your daddy planted it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. After a while the seed germinated and grew tall with many leaves until it became a lovely healthy plant. Then we dried it and smoked it and got so high we forgot to use a c**..."

A plane is falling and will eventually c**...

A hot blonde stewardess is running to a handsome Italian guy.
The stewardess takes off her clothes and says If this is going to be my last day on earth, treat me like a women!
The Italian guy takes off his shirt and says Iron this

Thor was viewing the earth, when he saw a beautiful milkmaid. He transformed to human form, descended to earth - and seduced her.

They made love for 3 days and 3 nights, then one morning Thor was stood with his back to her, shuttered sunlight streaming through his golden hair and across his massive frame - the very image of godlike perfection. And he spoke.
Darling, I must away from this place he turned round for dramatic effect, then thundered. FOR I, AM THOR!
She replied YOU'RE thor? I can barely thtand!

People are currently shooting fireworks off in my neighborhood. I'm usually all for shooting fireworks to celebrate the founding of the greatest nation on Earth, but come on...

Canada Day was yesterday!

Today we celebrate Independence Day!

For those that don't know their history, this was the day in 1996 that Will Smith saved the Earth from aliens.

There were three brothers Feather, Pillow and Brick.

One day Feather went to his mother and asked:
-Mom, why is my name Feather?
-Because when you were born and we brought you home from the hospital a feather fell on your head.
-she replied.
Next day Pillo asked the same question.
-Mom, why is my name Pillow?
-Because when you were born and we brought you home from the hospital a pillow fell on your head.
The third day Brick went up to her mom and goes:
-The Earth is flat!

A doctor, an engineer, and a politician we're arguing over the oldest profession

The doctor said "in the Bible, Eve was made from Adam's rib, so the first profession was a surgeon." The engineer said, "God made the earth from chaos in 7 days, so engineering is the first profession." The politician said, "who do you think you made the chaos?"

Karens husband dies...

Karens husband dies. After a few days, she starts missing him, so she buys an Ouija board and contacts her husband.
Karen: Honey, can you listen to me?
Husband: Yes
Karen: Are you happy in afterlife?
Husband: Yes
Karen: Is it better than your life on earth?
Husband: Yes
Karen: Nice. So how's heaven?
Husband: Who said I'm in heaven?

Last week we had an earthquake, a hurricane, and a LITERAL serpentine fire so, on this auspicious day, I'd just like to say:

OK, Earth Wind & Fire...
WE REMEMBER THE 21ST NIGHT OF SEPTEMBER!!!

A man walks in to a bar

And sees an ugly old humpback of a guy, who is constantly surrounded by women.
How to spot a millionaire, am I right? he winks and smiles at the bartender
No, Larry is a plumber, not a millionaire
Okay - so he must be extremely charming?
Larry is actually a man of very few words
Then what on earth makes him so incredibly popular with women??
I actually have no idea - every day he comes here, he just sits there quietly, drinking his beer, l**... his eyebrows..

Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, it just won't move at all. After trying to drive at night for a week, with no luck, she furiously calls the dealers and they send out a technician to help...

He examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it, so he asks, "Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right gears?"
Full of anger, she growls, "How on earth you could ask such a question!? I'm not s**... you know! Of course I am using the right gears; I use D during the day and N at night."

Thor was bored with life on Asgard and one day decided travel to earth to entertain himself.

Whilst here he happened upon a beautiful maiden and the pair hooked up that evening and made love all night, with Thor slipping out in the early hours.
Back in Asgard Thor felt bad for the fair lady about slipping away never too be seen again and thought he at least owed it to her to explain things - so he made his way back to earth to find her.
He bumps into her again. "Hi' he states 'I think I should explain - I'm Thor"
"*I'm Thor"?!* The lady retorted, "I can hardly thit down!"

Got arrested by cops for celebrating earth day and switching off all plugs

Shouldn't have done it in a hospital i guess

The Story of Creation as told by Dog

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.

A guy walked up to me and asks if I want to help save the earth

"So a guy walks up to me and asks if I want to help save the earth, I say yes. He hands me a pamphlet and tells me to have a nice day."
"So what did you do after you got home?" My friend asks

"I recycled it obviously,"

Earth Day

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "So what are you doing to celebrate Earth Day?" the bartender asks. "Oh, already done," the guy replies. "I sent all my work related e-mails to my recycling bin."

Earth day joke: is the planet round or flat?

Neither, it is s**....

Mummy, how was I born?

A 10-year-old girl asks her mum, Mummy, how was I born**?**
The mother smiled and replied:
Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth & I took care of it every single day.
After a while, the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant.
So we took the plant, dried it, rolled it up, smoked it, and got so high that we forgot to wear a c**....

When was our world born?

On it's b-earth-day!

After a 2000 year absence, the v**... Mary takes a trip down to earth.


After a couple of days, she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the v**... Mary. I met a man." Peter says to her, "That's not bad. This is how it is down on earth."
The next day she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the v**... Mary. I kissed the man. Is that bad?" Peter says to her, "No, that's part of life on earth."
The next day she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is Mary."

Earth Day joke, After a 2000 year absence, the v**... Mary takes a trip down to earth.

jokes about earth day