The Best 36 Earrings Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Earrings jokes. There are some earrings jeweller jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these earrings pendant puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Earrings Jokes and Puns
A little help with your math
A businessman is getting a 17% discount on an order worth $20,000.00, but can't figure out the total in his head. He asks his secretary, "Betty, if I were to give you twenty thousand dollars with a 17% discount, how much would you take off?" She thinks for a minute, then says, "Everything except my earrings."
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, "Nothing would make me happier than diamond earrings."
So I got her nothing
Georgia joke
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
New Earring
John is at work one day when he notices that his
co-worker, Zach, is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion".
"Hey Zach" he yells out "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal out of it, ..it's only an
earring." Says Zach sheepishly.
"No really," probes John, "How long have you been wearing one?"
... "Ever since my wife found it in our bed."
A Gynecologist walks into an exam room
Gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman "Would you happen to be a lesbian?" The woman answers "Why, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with these dots!" The doctor replied.. "Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!"
How much do pirates pay for earrings?
Somewhere around a buck an ear.
A businessman is at the office.
He was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? " he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings. "
What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes?
I won't be an accessory to this.
Oh hey, Larry's sporting bling in his ears
Joe: When did you start wearing earrings?
Larry: Since the day my wife found them in my car.
Green Spots
Rebecca is worried about 2 green spots that appeared on her inner thighs. Although she is embarrassed, she goes to the doctor who looks and asks her ' Is your boyfriend a Gypsy? '
Rebecca says 'Yes, how did you know?'
So the doctor said 'Tell him his earrings are not gold'
A girl goes to the doctor ..
A girl goes to a doctor to ask about green spots on the inside of her thighs.
The doctor examines them and then asks "Is your boyfriend a gypsy"
Amazed, the girl says "Yes, Why?"
The doctor says "Well, tell him his earrings are not gold"
You can explore earrings jeweler reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean earrings beads dad jokes. There are also earrings puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Where did Javon get his earrings?
Ja Mall
Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings?
He went to Jared.
How to make your ears pop?
Try some sparkly earrings.
Rock stars & earrings
Rock stars are known for having multiple earrings or crazy piercings, but no one has topped Kurt Cobain, who went so far as to put a 12 gauge in his mouth.
How much did the pirate's new earrings cost him?
A buccaneer
A man meets his friend who has started wearing earrings...
A man meets his friend who has started wearing earrings.
He asks "Since when did u start wearing earrings?"
Friend says "ever since my wife
found them in my car!"
Say, sailor...
Say, sailor, nice earrings! How much were they?
"$2"
Not bad for a buccaneer.
Getting a portrait painted.
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told
the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace,
emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.
But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist.
I know, she said. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.
How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?
I started wearing earrings
The day my wife found them in my car.
When I saw my uncle wearing Earrings & I asked him "Are you gay"?
He replied, "I started wearing them the day my wife found them in my car,I said they are mine."
A man meets his friend.. who has started wearing Earrings. He asks "Since when did you start wearing Earrings?"
Friend "Ever since my wife found them in my car!
We call rings in ears earrings, in eyebrows eyebrow rings and in noses nose rings. Why don't we apply the same to fingers?
And with this fingering I give you my hand in marriage....
How much do pirate earrings cost?
2 dollars
About a buck an ear
Why does the blond wear big hoop earrings on a date?
So she has somewhere to put her feet.
Necklace - $10,000
Earrings - $5,000
New Car - $30,000
Let's do it today - Priceless
"I say Long John Silver, I really like your earrings, how much were they?"
"2 dollars"
"They're not bad at all for a buccaneer".
A business owner is interviewing an attractive young lady...
A business owner is interviewing to hire a bookkeeper, and in walks an attractive young lady. To make sure that she understands money and math, he asks her "If I were to give you ten thousand dollars, minus 15%, how much would you take off?"
She thinks a moment and answers "Everything but my earrings!"
Son and earing
Son comes home with new earring. When father finds out he tells his son that Back in his days only homosexuals or pirates would wear earrings, so i will look outside of window and you better pray i find your ship there.
In Kent a business man was con
In Kent a business man was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Essex and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings!"
For my birthday I bought a pair of ghost bumblee earrings.
This way my face can always be between a pair of boo-bees.
A new business in town
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just opened a pioneering business," the guy says. "So, what do you actually do?" the bartender asks. "I just told you," the guy replies. "I sell pie and earrings."
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring...
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".
The man walks up to him and says,
"I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then asks,
"So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
Math
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
What type of earrings does a basketball wear?
Hoops
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the earrings carat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working earrings plaid piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.