Earrings Jokes
46 earrings jokes and hilarious earrings puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about earrings that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Earrings Short Jokes
Short earrings jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The earrings humour may include short earns jokes also.
- I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, "Nothing would make me happier than diamond earrings." So I got her nothing
- "I say Long John Silver, I really like your earrings, how much were they?" "2 dollars"
"They're not bad at all for a buccaneer". - Oh hey, Larry's sporting bling in his ears Joe: When did you start wearing earrings?
Larry: Since the day my wife found them in my car. - A man meets his friend.. who has started wearing Earrings. He asks "Since when did you start wearing Earrings?" Friend "Ever since my wife found them in my car!
- What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes? I won't be an accessory to this.
- That awkward moment... ...when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realise she just lost an earring...and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod.
- For my birthday I bought a pair of ghost bumblee earrings. This way my face can always be between a pair of boo-bees.
- I got into a bar brawl with this huge man that tore my earlobes off. Now I'm ear-ring impaired.
- Say, sailor... Say, sailor, nice earrings! How much were they?
"$2"
Not bad for a buccaneer. - "Hey, nice earring How long have you been wearing an earring?"
"Ever since my wife found it in the car."
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Earrings One Liners
Which earrings one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with earrings? I can suggest the ones about necklace and jewelry.
- What type of earrings does a basketball wear? Hoops
- How much do pirates pay for earrings? Somewhere around a buck an ear.
- How much do pirates pay to get an earring? A Buccaneer.
- How much did the pirate's new earrings cost him? A buccaneer
- I started wearing earrings The day my wife found them in my car.
- How much do pirate earrings cost? 2 dollars
About a buck an ear - How to make your ears pop? Try some sparkly earrings.
- Yesterday I accidentaly came on my girlfriends earring... Now she has hearing-aids!
- What's a car's favorite piece of jewelry? Its engine earring.
- Where did Javon get his earrings? Ja Mall
- Necklace - $10,000 Earrings - $5,000
New Car - $30,000
Let's do it today - Priceless - How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?
- What do you call an English class hanging to an ear? Eng-in-earring
- Earrings Why do chicks wear those big, jangly earrings?
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Stirrups - What do you call earrings on a gay man? Queerings
Fun-Filled Earrings Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about earrings you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nose ring jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make earrings pranks.
New Earring
John is at work one day when he notices that his
co-worker, Zach, is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion".
"Hey Zach" he yells out "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal out of it, ..it's only an
earring." Says Zach sheepishly.
"No really," probes John, "How long have you been wearing one?"
... "Ever since my wife found it in our bed."
A businessman is at the office.
He was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? " he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings. "
A little help with your math
A businessman is getting a 17% discount on an order worth $20,000.00, but can't figure out the total in his head. He asks his secretary, "Betty, if I were to give you twenty thousand dollars with a 17% discount, how much would you take off?" She thinks for a minute, then says, "Everything except my earrings."
Georgia joke
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
A jewel
Mrs. Whembleton decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.
But, Madam, you are not wearing any of those things.
True enough, said Mrs. Whembleton. If I should predecease my dear husband I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go stark raving mad looking for the jewelry!
A girl goes to the doctor ..
A girl goes to a doctor to ask about green spots on the inside of her thighs.
The doctor examines them and then asks "Is your boyfriend a gypsy"
Amazed, the girl says "Yes, Why?"
The doctor says "Well, tell him his earrings are not gold"
A Gynecologist walks into an exam room
Gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman "Would you happen to be a lesbian?" The woman answers "Why, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with these dots!" The doctor replied.. "Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!"
Green Spots
Rebecca is worried about 2 green spots that appeared on her inner thighs. Although she is embarrassed, she goes to the doctor who looks and asks her ' Is your boyfriend a Gypsy? '
Rebecca says 'Yes, how did you know?'
So the doctor said 'Tell him his earrings are not gold'
A business owner is interviewing an attractive young lady...
A business owner is interviewing to hire a bookkeeper, and in walks an attractive young lady. To make sure that she understands money and math, he asks her "If I were to give you ten thousand dollars, minus 15%, how much would you take off?"
She thinks a moment and answers "Everything but my earrings!"
Math
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring...
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".
The man walks up to him and says,
"I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then asks,
"So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
A man meets his friend who has started wearing earrings...
A man meets his friend who has started wearing earrings.
He asks "Since when did u start wearing earrings?"
Friend says "ever since my wife
found them in my car!"
In Kent a business man was con
In Kent a business man was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Essex and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings!"
Getting a portrait painted.
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told
the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace,
emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.
But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist.
I know, she said. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.
A new business in town
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just opened a pioneering business," the guy says. "So, what do you actually do?" the bartender asks. "I just told you," the guy replies. "I sell pie and earrings."
Son and earing
Son comes home with new earring. When father finds out he tells his son that Back in his days only homosexuals or pirates would wear earrings, so i will look outside of window and you better pray i find your ship there.
We call rings in ears earrings, in eyebrows eyebrow rings and in noses nose rings. Why don't we apply the same to fingers?
And with this f**... I give you my hand in marriage....
