Earns Jokes
27 earns jokes and hilarious earns puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about earns that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Earns Short Jokes
Short earns jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The earns humour may include short earrings jokes also.
- If I had a penny for every time someone called me sexist... I'd probably be earning more than the average woman.
- What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
- Wonder Woman earned $300 million worldwide in first week. "Wonder Man" earned $400 million for doing the same job.
- Bernie Sanders is a true socialist He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own.
- I heard women in this country only get 78¢ for every dollar a man earns... On the bright side, we get to keep 22¢
- I'm a good man. I give about 50% of my earnings to Charity. Except for when she's not working…Then I give it to Destiny.
- America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole day.
- What do you call a Mongol leader who swindles people out of their hard earned cash? Ghengis Khan Man.
- My dad rewards me when I earn a good report card, but any C s are punished with unbearable dad-jokes. He likes to call it the carrot and schtick method of parenting.
- After being sent to prison, I quickly earned the nickname "Mitochondria." I was the powerhouse of the cell.
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Earns One Liners
Which earns one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with earns? I can suggest the ones about ways earn and ears.
- What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer? By selling your camera.
- I like to give a percentage of my earnings to Charity.... ......and other strippers.
- I like making money It's a lot easier than earning it.
- What's the quickest way to earn karma using your sword-fighting abilities? Riposte
- Women always call me ugly until they find out what I earn. Then they call me poor.
- Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay? Because they make cents!
- How does a fencer earn their karma? Ripostes.
- How do you earn a small fortune by gambling? You start with a big fortune.
- What did Dr. pepper earn his PhD in? Fizz-ics
- What do you call a can that earns a degree? A graduated cylinder.
- This one simple trick will earn you THOUSANDS in WEEKS! Get a job.
- How much money does a gay pornstar earn? A buttload
- Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver
- A penny saved... ... is 350 Trillion Zimbabwe dollars earned!
- What's the most honest way to earn a living as a seamstress? The Ernest Hemingway
Humorous Earns Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about earns you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean earl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make earns pranks.
A man walks into a bar
and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender what the deal was about:
"Anyone who can jump up and slap the meat earns free drinks for the rest of the night", the bartender answered. "But, if you miss you pay everyone else's drinks for the next hour. Would you like to try?"
The man thought about it for a moment, and then answers:
"Nah, the stakes are too high."
My wife is an equestrian and she uses the money she earns to pay for me to go to University and study Philosophy. One night she asked me to help out around the stable and I told her I would but only after I finished my readings.
She accused me of putting Descartes before the horse.
School days...
Teacher: If income tax is 20% and your dad earns $50,000, how much tax does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Let's try again. If income tax is 30% and your dad earns $100000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Alright, last try. If income tax is %50 and your dad earns $1000000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: you don't know your percentages.
Kid: you don't know my dad.
Neighbor: So, what are your sons's professions?
Man: The first one is an engineer, the second one is a doctor. The third one is a business man and my last son is a thief!
Neighbor: What? Why don't you kick your 4th son out of the house?
Man: How can I sir? He is the only one who earns money!
Teacher asked lil Steve:
-What do you wanna do when you grow up?
-I dream of earning millions and millions of dollars, just like my dad!
-Your father earns that much money?!?
-No, he just dreams about it every day.
I bet the way a young lady earns a "g**..." shirt is very similar to
the way a young man earns a Penn State sweatshirt.
So my dirty gay brother got caught s**... a dolphin last night.
He's a pinball champion, he earns thousands in sponsorship deals, so I was astonished. I asked him why he did it.
He said his extra ball got jammed in the wrong flipper.
My neighbour earns $1200/month. Wanna know how?
BY WORKING.
Get a job.
Work hard
