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Earn Money Jokes

75 earn money jokes and hilarious earn money puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about earn money that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Earn Money Short Jokes

Short earn money jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The earn money humour may include short making money jokes also.

  1. What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
  2. America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole day.
  3. Woman always call me ugly until I tell them how much money I earn Then they call me both ugly and poor
  4. When I was young, losing teeth would earn me money. Now I'm old, earning money will gain me teeth.
  5. Why does Subway call its employees Sandwich Artists? So you can finally say you are earning money as an artist.
  6. A poor man asked a rich man, "How much money do you have to earn before you're satisfied?" The rich man replied, "More."
  7. To earn extra money, I started a home-based business building small boats in my attic ... Business was really slow until I switched to larger vessels, and now sails are through the roof!
  8. What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds? Government bonds mature over time and earn money
  9. My boss told me he's not going to pay me if I keep having erections at work I told him that's my hard-earned money
  10. What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

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Earn Money One Liners

Which earn money one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with earn money? I can suggest the ones about owe money and finding money.

  1. What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer? By selling your camera.
  2. I like making money It's a lot easier than earning it.
  3. How much money does a gay pornstar earn? A buttload
  4. I recently earned 5 times the money I earned before 5x0=0
  5. I spent all my hard earned money on buying m**... stocks..... Now I'm p**... committed.
  6. How do you call the money earned by a sewage company? g**... Profit.
  7. What do you call a p**... earning money fast? Turbho
  8. What do you call money earned from selling m**...? Baked Gouda.

Earn Money From Jokes

Here is a list of funny earn money from jokes and even better earn money from puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between a drama student and a government savings bond? The government savings bond eventually matures and earns money.
  • My mom deported me from her basement because I was a DREAMer As in I Don't Really Earn Any Money.
  • Payment Boy - I wish to marry your daughter.
    Father - How much do you earn?
    Boy - 10K.
    Father - I give her 8K as pocket money.
    Boy - Yes i included that in my payment.
  • I recently met the most desperate h**.... Infact so desperate that she's willing to be t**..., beaten and flogged by the customers to earn some extra money.
    She was strapped for cash.

Amusing Earn Money Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about earn money you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ways earn jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make earn money pranks.

All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save company dollars.
One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray
travel expenses.
In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage.
Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.

Chinese doctor opens his new clinic.

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."
Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."
Chinese: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything."
Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."
Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."
Chinese: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20."
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all."
Chinese: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."
Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!!"
Chinese: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"

Blonde Paint Job Warning:Long

A blonde,wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself as a handyman type and started canvasing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the man asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a porch, it's a Ferrari."

Blonde Paint Job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Five cannibals get hired

Five cannibals get hired on as engineers at a large International Company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says, "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the cafeteria for a meal, so please don't eat any of the other employees." The cannibals promised.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says, "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our janitors has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?" The cannibals all shake their heads no.
After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others, "Which of you idiots ate the janitor?"
A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replies, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Vice Presidents, Corporate Lawyers, and Regional Managers and no one noticed anything, and you have to go and eat the janitor!"

My girlfriend told me this one

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Messi, Ronaldo and Zlatan died in a car c**... and goes to heaven.

The three walks up to God sitting on his throne. God says:
"Messi, what is the best thing about football?"
Messi bows and answers:
"The best thing about football is that I have been able to spread joy to people, earn money for my living and seeing the world." God felt it was a good answer
when he said: "Good Messi, come and sit at my left side."
God then looked at Ronaldo and said: "And you Ronaldo, what is the best thing about football?
Ronaldo responds a little timidly:
"Lord, I come from poor backgrounds and have managed to show my fellow human beings that there is a way out of it all and that you do not have to be doomed to a life of misery. Meanwhile, I was able to spread joy to the people. "
God replied: "Good answer Ronaldo, come and sit on my right side.".
God then looked at Zlatan and said: "What do you think then Zlatan?"
Zlatan looks up, clears his t**..., spits on the ground and says:
"You're sitting in my chair."

Convert Today! Earn $5000.

(More Jewish inspired jokes)
These two rabbis are walking down the street. As they're walking, they pass a church with a large banner hanging above them that says across it:
CONVERT TODAY! EARN $5000.
The rabbis are perplexed by this. There is no way that this could be the real deal. They discuss and discuss some more. One rabbi finally decides he's going in and getting to the bottom of it.
A lot of time passes. The rabbi outside is starting to get worried. More time passes. The rabbi becomes more and more worried. Is it possible they're keeping him prisoner? Has he been killed? Or worse, are they force feeding him communion wafers??
The other rabbi finally comes outside. He seems altogether content with himself, and looks completely unharmed.
The rabbi that has waited so long is comforted by this, calms down, and asks the other rabbi, "So. Did you get the money?"
The other rabbi turns to him and says:
"Heh! You Jews and your money."

the golf course frog

A golfer playing a round by himself hits his ball near a pond. As he approaches the ball he notices a small frog right next to the spot where his ball landed. Not wanting to hit the frog, he bends down and moves the frog onto a rock nearby. As he sets up his 8 iron shot, he hears the frog croak 'ribbit 9 iron'. Strange, he thought but what the heck. He pulls out his 9 iron and hits a perfect shot onto the green, 2 feet from the pin. With a smile he turns to the frog and said 'you must be my lucky charm'. The frog hops onto his cart and proceeds to tell him the exact perfect club for each shot that day and the man ends up shooting the round of his life.
Following the round of golf, beer in hand, the man smiled at the frog and said 'you must be my lucky charm'. With something near a smile (or as close as an amphibian can get), the frog said 'ribbit Vegas'.
On a whim, the man buys a plane ticket and flies with the small frog, in his carry on to las Vegas. Sitting on the mans shoulder, the frog proceeded to tell him which roulette numbers to play to the point where the man was up tens of thousands of dollars. The winning streak continued all night and caught the attention of the pit boss, who comped the man a room in their finest suite.
Sitting in the suites hit tub and enjoying a $500 bottle of fine cognac, the man turned to the frog and said 'I don't know how to thank you. You gave me the greatest golf round I've ever played and now more money than I can earn in 3 years. Is there anything I can do for you?' The frog looked the man in the eyes and said 'Ribbit, kiss me'. After a wince, the man thinks what the heck and picks the frog up and gives it a kiss. Like magic, the frog suddenly turned into a beautiful, blond, n**......14 year old girl.
...and I swear, your honor, that's exactly how she ended up in my room!

Why Businessmen earn more than engineers !

Our mechanic's professor's reasoning of
"Why businessmen earn more than engineers ! "
If we equate the two variables namely into the two field's general statements,
- Time is money
- Knowledge is power
We know,
- Power = Work / Time
Substitute the variables into the equation and we get,
- Knowledge = Work / money
Rearranging we get,
- money = Work / Knowledge
Proving that as Knowledge reaches 0 money reaches infinity. And so the smarter you are (engineers?) The less you earn.

Three old ladies are boasting about their children.

One says:
"I am so proud of my son! He worked very hard to become a lawyer, and now he is very successful, earning a lot of money. But he is also very generous. Recently, he just gave one of his fiends a brand new ferrari as a present!"
The other says:
"I am very proud of my son as well. He has started a company, worked very hard, and now he is a president of a large corporation. Be he is very generous too, recenty he gave one of his friends a villa on the rivera!"
The third one sighs:
"I wish I could be proud of my son, but he achieved nothing. He is lazy and only goes to parties. And I also found out that he is gay. But I don't know where he gets the money, but he always seems to have plenty, and recently someone gave him a new ferrari and a villa at the riviera as a present".

Math Joke

The "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers, scientists, and teachers can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."
This theorem can now be proved by mathematics based on the two postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As any engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
Since: Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money
Then: Knowledge = Work / Money.
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

A Blonde With Paint

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

A teacher starts working at a new school

A teacher starts working at a new school. He soon finds out that one of the kids is always being bullied and picked on. Everyone calls this kid "Manny the Fool". During one of the breaks he asks some of the students how Manny earned his nickname. The kids laugh and offer a demonstration. They call Manny over and offer him two coins - a quarter and a silver dollar. Without thinking Manny picks the quarter and runs away. The kids all laugh at this and go back to their lessons.
Bewildered, the teacher calls "Manny the Fool" over and asks him, "Manny, why did you take the quarter? Don't you know that the silver dollar is worth more?"
"Yeah," says Manny, "but if I take the silver dollar, they will stop giving me money."

Another blonde joke.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Why 'business' people continue to earn more than people who actually work :

Time is money (time=money), and knowledge is power( knowledge=power)
we know that power is work done/time
solving,
power=work done/money
but knowledge=power
hence
we have money=work done/knowledge
which means, in the limiting case, as knowledge ->0 money -> Infinity, regardless of work done

A boy goes with his mother in a taxi,

In between taxi passes by a red light area.
The boy asks his mother after looking at the call girls,
Mom, who are they ?
Mother replied: They are waiting for their husbands.
Taxi driver: Why are you lying the kid ?
He says, son they are prostitutes. They sleep and earn money!
Child Asks: Then mom what happens to the kids these women give birth to?
MOM : THEY BECOME TAXI DRIVERS

A maths teachers husband buys an Aston Martin.

He pulls up into the drive of their house, eagerly awaiting his wife's response.
Instead, she looks angry and horrified. She storm up to his window and says "You ALWAYS leech off of MY money!"
"W-What?"
"LOOK AT YOU! I don't know HOW you earned this car!"
"Why?"
"YOU DIDN'T DO THE WORKING FOR IT!"

A blonde, wanting to earn some money...

decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Information Technology cannibals

Five cannibals get selected as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and if you are hungry, you can go to the company cafeteria for something to eat. So don't bother the other employees". The cannibals promise not to bother the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our cleaners has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals deny any knowledge of the missing cleaner.
After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which one of you idiots ate the cleaner?"
A hand rise hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything. Why you just had to go and eat the cleaner?!"

A blonde, wanting to earn some money,

decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a porch, it's a Ferrari."

This actually just happened...

*Wife: I wanna get into coding.
*Me: Oh, that sounds fun. You might even earn some
money on the side while you're at home. What language
did you wana code in ?
*Wife: English. Duh!

Working holiday

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"I'm going to Las Vegas. I can earn $200 for a b**... there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do for you for free."
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well.
"Where are you going?" the wife asks.
"I'm coming with you. I want to see how you can live on $200 a year."

Educated Sons

1st son : Degree in Economics.
2nd son: MBA.
3rd son : PhD
4th son : Thief
Neighbour: Why can't you throw the
4th son out of your house?
Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.

You're Fired

There is a young man standing on the factory floor, appearing idle.
The CEO of the organisation sees him. He storms up and says, "tell me, what do you earn in a year?"
The young man responds "$1,000"
The CEO reaches into his wallet and pulls out $1,000. He hands it to the young man the money and says "Here, now get out of my factory. You're fired. I don't pay people to be idle."
The young man leaves.
A few moments later, another worker appears on the factory floor. Between breaths, he says, "hey, where did the pizza guy go, I was trying to find my wallet to pay him."

A blonde goes to a blood bank to earn a little money to pay the bills...

She steps into the elevator along with an attractive young man.
"Are you going to the blood bank too?" she inquires.
"no" he replies: "I go to the s**... bank, because I get four times the cash as I get for a pint of blood".
A week later, they meet again in the same elevator. The guy asks: " Off to the blood bank again?"
The blonde just shakes her head and says :" Mmm-Mmm"

A poor man fall asleep one night and the devil appears in his dream

The devil says to him "I shall grant you any worldly wish you desire but at a price"
The poor man asks "I've only got my six string and very little money, however I can earn money if I play guitar well. So I wish to be the greatest guitar player the world has ever seen."
The devil replies "the price for that is merely your human soul."
The man thinks for a moment and responds "that's a lot to lose. I don't think I'm willing to pay that. What can I get for a dollar?"
The devil responds "the greatest bass player"

My wife is an equestrian and she uses the money she earns to pay for me to go to University and study Philosophy. One night she asked me to help out around the stable and I told her I would but only after I finished my readings.

She accused me of putting Descartes before the horse.

A p**... goes to the bank to deposit her earnings

The teller starts flipping through the cash, and realizes it's counterfeited. When she tells the p**..., the response is "That can't be true. Please look over it again"
"Sorry ma'am, this really *is* counterfeit money"
The p**... takes a step back and says "Oh my, I've been *r**...*!"

Teacher asked lil Steve:

-What do you wanna do when you grow up?
-I dream of earning millions and millions of dollars, just like my dad!
-Your father earns that much money?!?
-No, he just dreams about it every day.

Ole came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike.

"Vere did you get da money for da bike? Dat musta cost $500," he asked.
"It was easy, Dad," little Lars replied. "I earned it hiking."
"Come on Lars," Ole said. "Tell me da truth."
"Dat is da truth Dad!" Lars replied.
"Every night you ver gone, Sven, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $10 bill and tell me ta take a hike.

A teenager, who just turned 18, desperately wants a car.

His mother tells him to buy one himself. A chemistry student himself, he finds an effective money-making strategy. Every day, he would sell mixtures of Rhenium, Phosphorus, Osmium, and Tennessine, and he was earning a lot from the sales. Curious, his mother asks him about the mixtures.
The teen replied: RePOsTs are the fastest way to car, Ma.

100 years ago, a poor Polish immigrant was begging for money in New York city

Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her.
Stranger: What is your name, sad lady
Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat
Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it.

The Vampire from Sesame Street decided to buy everyone gifts with money he earned through s**... work.

The gifts were really bad but everyone was appreciative because after all,
It's the thot that Counts!
I made up this joke. Hope you like it :)

I quit my career as a professional poker player, and I decided to open a grocery store.

For the first couple weeks, I didn't earn much money. Then, I decided to rearrange the meat and the snacks in my store. I started earning lots of money. I knew that I would succeed when the chips were down and the steaks were high.

Neighbor: So, what are your sons's professions?

Man: The first one is an engineer, the second one is a doctor. The third one is a business man and my last son is a thief!
Neighbor: What? Why don't you kick your 4th son out of the house?
Man: How can I sir? He is the only one who earns money!

Permission To Marry Your Daughter

Jimmy asks his girlfriend's father permission to propose.
The father says, "I need to ask you two questions. The first question is, do you love my daughter?"
Jimmy eagerly responds, "Sir, I love her with all my heart."
My second question is, "Do you think you earn enough money to support a family."
Jimmy immediately answers, "Yes sir, I certainly do."
The father says, "Slow down and think carefully Jimmy. There is six of us."

2 boys were talking...

2 boys were talking and one said to the other, "There is an easy way to earn money..The other boy said, "How?" the boy replied, "Tell people you know their secret."The boy jumps up to his dad, "I know your secret!" dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10."The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!"mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15."The boy then tries it on the mail man, "I know your secret!" The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room.

Where the h**... do you think you're going? he says.
I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a b**... there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free.
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well.
Where do you think you going? the wife asks.
I'm coming with you…I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!

Real conversation with my 6-year-old:

Him (looking at a bank building): Is this where they keep the money that you donate to them?
Me: Yes, but we don't _donate_ to the bank, we _deposit_ into the bank. 'Deposit' means that you're going to take it back later. 'Donate' means that you just give it away and don't expect to ever get it back.
Him: Oh, I know an example of donate. Like, when you earn money and pay your taxes, you are _donating_ to the government because you're never gonna get it back. Right?
Me: ???

Messi, Ronaldo and Zlatan died in a car c**... and goes to heaven.

The three walks up to God sitting on his throne. God says:
"Messi, what is the best thing about football?"
Messi bows and answers:
"The best thing about football is that I have been able to spread joy to people, earn money for my living and seeing the world." God felt it was a good answerr>when he said: "Good Messi, come and sit at my left side."
God then looked at Ronaldo and said: "And you Ronaldo, what is the best thing about football?
Ronaldo responds a little timidly:
"Lord, I come from poor backgrounds and have managed to show my fellow human beings that there is a way out of it all and that you do not have to be doomed to a life of misery. Meanwhile, I was able to spread joy to the people. "
God replied: "Good answer Ronaldo, come and sit on my right side.".
God then looked at Zlatan and said: "What do you think then Zlatan?"
Zlatan looks up, clears his t**..., spits on the ground and says:
"You're sitting in my chair."