Early Bird Jokes
31 early bird jokes and hilarious early bird puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about early bird that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Early Bird Short Jokes
Short early bird jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The early bird humour may include short early start jokes also.
- Sleep joke Why be an early bird or night owl when you can just be an insomniac and get the best of both worlds.
- Yesterday I told this joke about a worm being eaten early in the morning The birds loved it.
- Why does the interstellar traveler always leave home way too early? Because the early bird gets the wormhole.
- People always say blue birds are the worst birds for stealing His partner is worse, always robin
(Sorry the joke doesn't flow well, it's way to early here) - I bought some raffle tickets from a local charity for a big fundraiser and won the early bird prize. It was a worm.
- People always ask me why I procrastinate.. They say, "you know, the early bird gets the worm."
I just respond, "yes, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese." - To all Mozilla brethren....And I'm one of em! Why would Mozilla Thunderbird be afraid to feature any innovative security device before it's competitors on the web?
Cause the early bird gets the worm - I had to wake up at 3am to buy concert tickets on a sketchy website. The early bird gets the worm.
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Early Bird One Liners
Which early bird one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with early bird? I can suggest the ones about early morning and early.
- The early bird might get the worm, but The second mouse *always* gets the cheese
- Did you know that Archaeopteryx ate worms? After all, it's an early bird.
- There was an early bird special at the diner So I ordered Archaeopteryx.
- The early bird ate all the worms... and died from obesity.
- The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.
- What do you call a person who is both a early bird and a night owl? A college student
- There are people who are both early birds and night owls We call them insomniacs
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Early Bird Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about early bird you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean waking up early jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make early bird pranks.
So there was this kid who was lazy and couldnt wake up early..
His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.
She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?
Son: Ok
Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to feed himself and his family. The second bird wakes up late everyday and cant find anything to eat. So what did you learn from this.
Son: i learned that the bugs that wake up early gets eaten by birds
Johny's Mom Was Explaining Him The Benefits of Waking Early In The Morning.
"See", she said, "Those birds who wake early get most of the insects to eat."
"I understand Mom", replied Johnny, "But what happens to the insects who rise early?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Early One Morning
Woke early one morning, the earth lay cool and still.
When suddenly a tiny bird, perched on my window sill.
It sang a song so lovely, so carefree and gay.
That slowly all my troubles, began to slip away.
It sang of far off places, of laughter and of fun.
It seemed his very song, brought out the morning sun.
I pulled back the covers, and crept slowly out of bed,
and gently shut the window, and crushed his head.
I'm not a morning person
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross an early bird and a night owl?
Shut the f up, I only got 2 hours of sleep last night!
TIL about Mexican drug birds.
During the early 60s drug cartels would use South-American mallard flocks to smuggle drugs over the border.
The birds' predictable migration patterns and considerable size made them perfect for the job, until a few years later.
That's when the ducks got wise and just started smoking all the quack.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Louis c**... and the early bird?
One beats chicks to the worm, the other beats the worm to chicks.
An old man owns a boat.
He is a rich old bird who made his fortune early in life. he is a bit crazy and for some reason always hires male strippers and keeps absurd amounts of potatoes on his boat. when asked why he said, " I've always wanted to rule a country but i never got too, so i bought my boat and filled it with taters and male strippers." when asked how that helped he replied simply,"It's my dictatorship."
In the early 1970s, researchers discovered...
...that a certain enzyme in a specific breed of seagull chicks granted dolphins that ate them a dramatically increased lifespan. Hoping that this could be made viable for humans, they started extensive testing. Unfortunately, the breed of gulls wasn't native to the area around their laboratory.
They sent a research assistant up the coast to gather additional specimens. On his way back with a truckload of the tiny birds, he accidentally struck a cougar in the road. Unfortunately for him, it was (at the time) the state animal, and harming one was a felony.
The poor guy was charged with transporting young gulls across a state lion for immortal porpoises.
Three couples are eating breakfast in the hotel restaurant
They're early birds, and the only ones there. It's an American, an English and a Norwegian couple. The American says to his wife
"Can you send me the sugar, sugar?"
The Englishman overhears him, and, thinking he can't be any worse than an American, asks his wife
"Will you pass me the honey, honey?"
The Norwegian guy hears both of them and thinks for himself that he really has something to learn from these guys. So he turns to his wife and says
"Get me the milk, you cow!"