Earls Jokes
9 earls jokes and hilarious earls puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about earls that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Earls Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good earls joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls
Upon waking, a woman said to her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"
The man smiled and kissed his wife. "You`ll know tonight," he softly whispered.
That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She jumped up and embraced him, and then settled on the couch to slowly and delicately unwrap the package.
It contained a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish.
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Native American.
"What is it made of?" she asked."Alligator's teeth," the man replied."I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us.""Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
Pricey set of teeth
A tourist was admiring a tribal necklace at a gift shop during her honeymoon in India.
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Crocodile teeth" the salesman beamed.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that crocodile teeth mean as much to you as pearls do to us"
"Of course not!" he objected.
"Anybody can open an oyster"
They say pressure makes diamonds.
But taking what annoys you, wrapping it up in gunk, polishing it until it looks pretty and then ignoring it makes pearls.
Oysters....
Why do you have to kill them to take their pearls?
Answer (behind the spoiler-bar): [Because they're shellfish. That's why.](/spoiler)
http://www.uvioo.com/watch/?m=duchesspearls&so=yt&v=UOjvxAojRfU
First Date
Years back, before electronic car door locks, there were two brothers, Andy and Oby. Andy was 4 years older than 16 year old Oby. Oby had never been on a date and wanted to take out a girl he had met. So...he asked Andy for advice. "I want to take this girl out for a walk and I just don't know what to do or say" Andy told him "It's easy. Just compliment her and everything will fall into place". "What do you mean" asked Oby. Andy told him to compliment her on her hair "your hair is like silk", her teeth "your teeth are like pearls", her eyes "your eyes are like sapphires", etc.
So Oby take her for a walk, and comes home with a black eye. Andy asked him what happened. Oby says: "Well, I tried to compliment her on her hair, but she didn't have much, and not many teeth either. Her eyes were one blue and one brown like some dogs, and I didn't know what to say about that, so...I said for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much!"
A Buddhist monk turns to the Dalai Lama for an answer.
A Buddhist monk was pondering what is the difference between a woman and a pearl, but couldn't figure it out. He gave up and decided to ask the Dalai Lama.
"Hmm, interensting question, young grasshopper - said the Dalai Lama. I do not know, but if you give me three days to meditate on this, I might have something for you"
Three days pass, the monk returns and gets this answer:
"The difference, dear son, is that a woman threads only from the front, while a pearl threads from the front *and* from behind."
The monk, a bit embarassed, says: But, Master, I know of women who thread both from the front and behind.
"Ah, said the Dalai Lama, those are not women, dear pupil, but pearls."
(Works better in Bulgarian, but it was worth a try. Translation suggestions welcome.)
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